No looking it up. Anyone wanna guess what this is?

Answer: Here.

Classy.

Posted by: Ace at 04:53 PM | Comments (46)
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The police and prosecution withheld exonerating details, which, had they been known to the defense, might have stopped a judge from ordering a line-up, which in turn would have prevented an indictment.

Like, that she had sex with four men and one object in the days before the alleged rape.

Like, that she told nurses she was not beaten or harmed, but told cops she was beaten, kicked, and strangled.

And etc.

Like the other dancer calling the charges "a crock," and initially saying she'd been with the alleged victim for all but three minutes that night.

This prosecutor, if there's any justice, will be investigated seriously for a knowingly dishonest abuse of the court (and these kids) for political purposes.

I don't know what this woman's deal is. It's possible that she was raped by four other men, and decided to bring charges against these kids, as they (or their families) have the deep pockets. Hey, they're white.

But when a "victim" has got four different kinds of semen in her and none of it is from her alleged "rapists," I'd say it's time to drop the friggin' case.

Posted by: Ace at 03:37 PM | Comments (40)
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Hasselhoff as James Bond, pretty much, doing Secret Agent Man.

Can't hear it, but man, does he sell it with his face. Scary. He's somewhere between "committing to the performance" and "suffering a seizure."

Thanks to Pupster.

Posted by: Ace at 03:07 PM | Comments (12)
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While I dash off a terse and somewhat threatening letter to the makers of this unisex bodywash that smells 5% of ass (by volume), make sure you do not click on this not at all safe for work picture of Margaret Cho.

Margaret Cho's Red-Carpet Glamour-Shot Checklist:

1) Costume which courageously reaffirms ethnic identity? CHECK!

2) Glamorous and sexy, but in a safely ironically-distanced fashion which spoofs and undermines the male hegemonic standards of beauty and sexuality while supeficially conforming to them? CHECK!

3) Exposed labia majora and minora? CHECK... and MATE!

"Margaret! Margaret! Who are you wearing, Margaret?"

"Oh, it's a bit of a mix-and-match. I'm wearing a Todd Oldham creation. And also: Pooter."

Thanks so little to Monica.

Posted by: Ace at 12:01 PM | Comments (48)
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Okay, I just got a new unisex bodywash from the local CVS. This one should do me nicely. It says that it contains a "fresh smell" of "mango, papaya, and other tropical fragrances."

Shit.

Just noticed.

It also says "May contain up to 5% ass."

Posted by: Ace at 11:39 AM | Comments (19)
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Okay, I think I see the problem.

This unisex body wash I favor promises to "restore a healthy sheen to your skin," but it also says "Smells just like ass."

I'm not sure why they think that's a selling point.

Oh, well. Maybe I'll go back to CK One. The downside is that really makes you smell a lot like a ten year old girl. But the upside is, you don't stink of ass all day.

Posted by: Ace at 11:29 AM | Comments (9)
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Could be worse. My whole body could smell like ass, I guess.

Actually... come to think of it, my feet smell like ass.

That's just wrong.

Posted by: Ace at 11:24 AM | Comments (13)
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Or, looking at it a different way, one could say my feet just smell like my body.

Which doesn't sound so bad. It implies my feet just smell like, well, skin.

Except that my skin smells like feet.

Posted by: Ace at 11:23 AM | Comments (23)
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Actually, when I clean my ears with my pinkies, my pinkies wind up smelling like feet too.

I am reluctantly drawn to the conclusion that most of my body smells like feet.

Posted by: Ace at 11:21 AM | Comments (3)
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Sometimes it smells like Cheez Whiz, but that I understand.

I find it's convenient to fill my belly-button with Cheez Whiz and spread some crackers on my tummy while I'm watching What Not To Wear and Blow Out. The Hormel's pre-sliced pepperoni I keep down near my junk. But not too close to my junk. That would be gay.

So I guet the "Cheez Whiz" smell in my belly-button.

But feet? I don't get that at all.

Posted by: Ace at 11:17 AM | Comments (5)
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