World's least-clicked on headline: What would Roseanne Barr look like with a **** in her mouth?

Or a sandwich, for that matter?

Anyway, this horror show of a human being wants the world to know she stands with Larry Flynt.

The funniest thing to ever come out of Roseanne Barr's mouth was Tom Arnold. How sad is that?

(That's a Dane Cook joke, repurposed. It wasn't originally about Roseanne Barr.)

POST CHANGED! Sorry, I bought into Fox's headline -- "Gingrich takes on Matthews in wild interview" -- and posted it as I was watching it. Figured it was hot.

It's not. It's a snoozer.

Sorry. I'll make this an open thread, and I will ask Fox news' headline writer to stop lying and overselling.

Posted by: Ace at 03:06 PM | Comments (257)
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But remember, this is the guy who is being "harassed" and even viciously "decked" by bloggers.

It's not this guy himself who's causing the problems-- no, not the guy who had a list of witnesses against him to be killed.

Not the guy who tried to pay off another convict to plant a bomb, of the exact same design as his own bomb, so that he could argue that cops "got the wrong man" for the Speedway Bomber.

No, it's this guy who is the innocent victim of cruel right-wingers conspiring to besmirch his good reputation with smears.

He was a "political prisoner," you know. Never did anything. Cops and prosecutors and witnesses and victims just keep conspiring against this good upstanding man, and now bloggers are apparently "decking" him in courthouses, despite video of the alleged "decking" not seeming to show any such "decking."

Meanwhile, despite prosecutors having videotape evidence that Brett Kimberlin seems to have attempted to frame an innocent man for a crime that never happened (which carries a sentence of 10 years, by the way), they decline to prosecute.

Yeah, let's make sure we make every assumption about Brett Kimberlin's integrity and intentions in his favor. God knows he's shown himself to be deserving of such assumptions.

Oh and by the way: He'll also tell you that he committed an unnamed "crime" 34 years ago, but he's totally upstanding now and stuff.

He'll also tell you about his "secret exoneration."

You know, like we have in America, a system of "secret exonerations" in which criminals are secretly absolved of crimes for which they were convicted, but, for reasons unfathomable, are kept "secret."

Like that.

The Department of Secret Exonerations handles those, I'm pretty certain.

Corrected: I initially wrote the "While in Jail" applied to both offenses. Actually, it seems the hit list was written out while he was being investigated; the second bombing plot was hatched while he was in jail (and hence the detonation of the similar bomb, while he was in jail, would seemingly exonerate him).

Uncorrected! Actually, I had it right the first time -- he was in jail during both episodes. I guess he was being held in jail awaiting his conviction.

Posted by: Ace at 01:04 PM | Comments (352)
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Simple, yes. But like many simple things, it's also hard.

Read the piece, but I'll summarize some and quote. The "3" is Romney winning back three states which are usually part of the Republican electoral count but which flipped to Obama in 2008 -- Indiana, North Carolina, and Virginia.

Virginia is the toughest, and Obama might actually win it again. He sees this one in contestation until election day. Although, it should be noted, Obama will have no choice but to fight for this one until election day -- without it, his Winning Map is very hard indeed.

Then Romney must pick up two traditional swing states, Ohio and Florida, that Obama won in 2008 (but not by a lot).

I think Ohio is the harder one here. It's trending Democratic. "Florida, Florida, Florida" might sort of be a lean Republican state at this point, which we have to count on winning if we're in the game at all.

With those states, and with the 10 votes that McCain/lean Republican states picked up in reapportionment, Romney is at 266 to Obama's 270. Edit: Oh, to get to this count, Romney would also have to pick up the Congressional District in Nebraska that went to Obama (while the other EV's went to McCain). But that's just one vote, and would only matter if Romney's winning state had exactly four EVs. Like New Hampshire, I think.

This is also the time, probably, to mention the 269-269 tie where it then goes to the House of Representatives is in play. Sort of.

Romney would need just one more state to take the election.

Here are Rove's thoughts on The One State That Wins the Election.

There are many paths open to him. One is the Neighborhood route. If the Boston resident and former Massachusetts governor captures next-door New Hampshire, its four electoral votes would take him to the magical 270 and the Oval Office.

But it's my gut that New Hampshire is a lost cause, unless this turns into a Reagan-like route. Which is possible, but in that case, we don't have to concern ourselves with New Hampshire. At that point, we'd be wondering about New Jersey.

There's also the Great Lakes route through Michigan (16 electoral votes), Pennsylvania (20) and Wisconsin (10). Of these, Michigan may be the toughest. But Mr. Obama's antipathy toward coal, added to problems with working-class whites and suburban independents, puts Pennsylvania in play...

And if Gov. Scott Walker survives his June 5 recall by a healthy margin, Wisconsin could also be up for grabs...

CAC is convincing me that Wisconsin is the election. Which puts even more pressure on the June 5 recall -- if we win that, we just might have set the stage to take a state Obama absolutely cannot afford to lose.

The Western route is Colorado (nine electoral votes), Nevada (six) or New Mexico (five)....

Here's what I'm thinking: Nevada, Nevada, Nevada.

With the nation's highest unemployment rate (11.7%), Nevadans remember Mr. Obama's notorious bashing of Las Vegas in 2010: "When times are tough, you tighten your belts. . . . You don't blow a bunch of cash in Vegas . . ."

And Rove doesn't say this, but wouldn't a lot of Mormons in Nevada turn out as ground troops for Romney? Damn, a lot of California and Utahn Mormons might bus themselves in for the last weekend before the election. Eager, clean-cut troops on the ground? That's a nice thing.

He goes on to mention one other possibility -- Iowa. I just get the sense that Iowa is a farmer/labor state and also is probably a lost cause except in an election when Iowa doesn't even matter, because now we're wondering about, I don't know, Oregon.

So, I don't know anything, but to me it's Ohio, Wisconsin, and Nevada.

Posted by: Ace at 10:56 AM | Comments (514)
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This is a good exchange, demonstrating Romney at his best. He's tough on Obama -- yes, he agrees with Rush Limbaugh's assessment that Obama is the first president running against capitalism -- he attacks Obama's lack of experience in business and lack of any level of business knowledge, and he even tosses in flattery about the hard-workin' habits of the American worker.

Video below, Hot Air has quotes not contained in the video, concerning a defense of Bain.

“With regards to Bain Capital, they just put a report out about their record, the Bain Capital guys did, they noted they’ve made about 350 investments since the beginning on the firm, and of those investments, about 80 percent grew their revenues. So I’m pretty confident that the overall record of the enterprise I helped begin is pretty solid,” Romney, the presumptive GOP presidential nominee, told Fox News.

He also notes that of Bain's investments in largely failing companies, only 5% went bankrupt.

Even in his early debates, when I kind of hated him, I often had to admit that Romney had patches here and there where he was a pretty good debater and pretty good candidate. I'm just speaking of pure candidate skills, not stuff like his actual ideology.

He is still prone to shakiness and minor gaffes, but he has improved, and continues to improve. I would say at this point he's actually a good campaigner, verging on quite good.

He still has to learn to do something productive with his temper. When he's challenged, he gets very testy. And in the second clip below, when Obama's attack against him is played, Romney keeps a big broad smile on his face.

I kind of don't mind the smile -- it has a Here He Goes Again feel -- but I'm guessing that a lot of people are going to call it arrogant and condescending.

Not sure what else you can do, though. He certainly doesn't want to look grave when Obama's talking nonsense, as if he's shaken by Obama. He doesn't want to look glum.

So, being persnickety here: Basics of the smile response sound, but he's got to train his face to make a different smile? I don't know. I think there are limits to how far a human being can conform himself to a PR expert's vision of a Perfect Candidate.

I don't want to steal everything from Captain Ed so go over to his post to find, at post's end, a link to a flier promoting Obama's appearance at a socialist rally in 1996.
more...

Posted by: Ace at 09:08 AM | Comments (457)
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Time again for the official recall projection, based on the latest available data and on the ground reports. Some polling came out since this projection was created last night (We Ask America giving Walker a twelve point lead, Reason-Rupe giving him an eight point lead) but with some caution taken into account, here is the latest:

Posted by: CAC at 08:41 AM | Comments (104)
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"Penniless," claims the Daily Mail, and living with his mom after blowing his million dollars on guns, boats, and cars.

Which is a decent enough thing to blow a million dollars on, if and only if you're reasonably sure there's a second million coming.

You know what this means?

Time for another Super-Secret Revelation About the Palins. Gotta be something even huger this time.

That, or, of course, Gay Porn.

I have a different idea, though. I think Johnson knows the Liberal Money is tapped out, at least for now, and he'll Find Jesus, write a book about Finding Jesus, claim he's changed and seen the error of his ways and all apologies to the Palin family and so on, and attempt to try to get cash from conservative audiences.

I don't think it will work. But I think he will try it. Because I don't think he wants to do gay porn. He seems to be a fan of the vaiszh.

So while I am advancing the Levi Johnson Gay Porn Doomsday Clock, I am only advancing it two minutes, to six to midnight.

Please make a note for your records.

Posted by: Ace at 08:21 AM | Comments (197)
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We Ask America poll (their last showed Walker up 9): Walker 54% Barrett 42%.

Amongst UNION households? Walker only trails 47% to 50%.

This is the eighth straight poll showing Walker with a lead, and now a massive one.

Poll was taken May 23rd amongst 1409 Likely Voters.

Wisconsin Leftists, I ask of you again,

The Ace of Spades HQ Decision Desk Projection will be up in a bit.

Absentee ballot news: over 90,000 ballots have already been issued for the recall, up from the 68,000 total for the primary. In the 2010 gubernatorial race, 230,000 absentee ballots were issued. Turnout is going to be very, very high so you have no excuse to skip this out without risking the danger of being beaten with a fire ant-covered cactus.

UPDATE: Larry Sabato of the Crystal Ball becomes first election prognosticator to change their status of the Wisconsin recall race, from lean to likely R. I am assuming a lot more will be following soon.

Posted by: CAC at 07:55 AM | Comments (98)
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0 calories!
0% fat!
0 carbs
0% actual content!

It's an open thread!

I got nuthin'
You got nuthin'
We all got nuthin'

[Update]: This is a reminder not to cut and paste stuff into a comment directly from your word processor. It may look OK, but all that formatting crap gets picked up and displayed. First paste your content into a text editor, then cut and paste from there.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 07:12 AM | Comments (228)
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So overnight, more polling came out in favor of Governor Walker: a seventh straight poll showing him ahead.

Well, there's more potential bad news for Tom Barrett to kick things off for Thursday. Looks like an awful lot of people are are now interested in what is really happening in his city, crime wise. Oopsie!

Elizabeth "Fauxcahontas" Warren's recent bout of silliness hasn't cost her in the polls, at least according to Suffolk University, which finds her trailing incumbent Scott Brown by just 47%-48%.

Finally, NBC finds President Obama leading in three swing states (shocker) but by far, far smaller margins than their last round of polls with Marist: Ohio (48-42), Florida (48-44, contradicting Quinnipiac), and Virginia (48-44).

Posted by: CAC at 03:02 AM | Comments (535)
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It was three years ago on a night just like tonight that the infamous Memorial Day ONT happened. It shocked even veteran moron-types, brought down anger and pinch-faced scoldery from on high, and damn near got the ONT canceled.

So in memory of that episode, for tonight only the usual ONT rules are partially suspended. So curse all you want and empty out that disgusting potty mouth of yours.

In fact as is traditional there's a new rule for tonight - everyone must curse at least once in their comments. Failure will be punished by mockery until the next poor bastard/bastardess screws up. It's not a flame war though, so think love - not war.

Oh and Vegas rules also apply - what happens on tonight's ONT, stays on tonight's ONT. Tomorrow Pixy will don his HazMat suit and dispose of it properly. And afterwards let us never speak of it again.

_{* Ok Ok actually most of the usual pinche blog rules do apply - no racial bullshit, Penthouse Letters shit, and for sure no goddamn harassment of the moronettes.}

Posted by: Maetenloch at 05:54 PM | Comments (973)
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