Ace of Spades HQ

February 01, 2013

Scott Brown Is Not Running For Senate
— Ace

The rest of this post has been Mika-ized with cooed affirmations in italics.

Former Massachusetts Republican senator Scott Brown
mmm
will not run in the special election for outgoing Democratic Sen. John KerryÂ’s seat,
Oh!
according to a Republican source familiar with his plans. BrownÂ’s decision means KerryÂ’s seat is very likely to remain in Democratic hands.
mmmmm!
Republicans are now without a top candidate for the seat held by Kerry,
mm-hm
who was confirmed by the Senate to be the next secretary of state earlier this week. On the Democratic side, longtime Rep. Ed Markey is the frontrunner, but he faces a challenge from fellow Democratic Rep. Stephen Lynch, who is much more conservative.
ugh
With Brown out of the picture, Republicans may turn to Richard Tisei
uh huh

Scott Brown says he can do more outside the Senate (mmmmm), and that's a bunch of hooey (uh-huhh). I'm very curious why he made this decision (Mmmmm) given that he was very well positioned (mm) to hold the seat.

Posted by: Ace at 09:55 AM | Comments (209)
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Bad, Shocking News: Scarborough Just Doesn't Like These Damn Republican Clowns
— Ace

Joe Scarborough continues his self-flattery about "raising the discourse" (while simultaneously running a show that's heavy on insults and low attacks) mourning the fact that Republicans weren't nice to Hagel and didn't ask him questions in the "right" way, a respectful way.

No, I'm not exaggerating. His problem is that they weren't sufficiently nice.

The gap between the man you'd like to be and the man you actually are can be made up, in a pinch, with pious declarations and self-flatteries. It helps, however, to have a dumb parrot-ginch sitting next to you who can chirp & coo one word babytalk non-sentences ("oh," "yeah," "mmmm") in between the gaps in your own words.

That really adds a lot. Imagine if you had a cooing parrotginch who would fill in every quarter-second pause in your speech with a soothing, motherly babytalk "mmm" or "yeaahhh" or "oohhh." You've got yourself an interstitial Amen Chorus right there.

From Newsbusters. Video below.

Update: White House blames Chuck Hagel's shambolic performance... on Republican hecklers.

Demand: I will never do another podcast ever again, except on this condition:

That the audioguy for the show records a bunch of Mika Brezinsy's babytalk cooings and chirplings and puts them on a soundboard. Then, when I talk, the engineer must play those soundcues in the microgaps in my speech.

I want nothing but a steady chirping of affirmative "mmm's" and "ohhhh's" and "right's." For every damn thing I say. When I talk about taking a poop, I want Mika right there, praising me with an "oooh" warble.

I will not do a podcast until I am guaranteed these terms.

These are my demands. My balls are in your court.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 09:06 AM | Comments (378)
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Whoopsie: Obama Understates Cost of Cheapest ObamaCare Option by Factor of Ten
— Ace

They said they'd deliver you the cheapskate option for $2,085 per year. This is the "bronze" plan.

Actual minimum cost of "bronze" plan, as estimated by the IRS: $20,000 per year.

Oh well, that's why God gave pencils erasers!

Your Mouth

... is just plum full up.

Posted by: Ace at 08:13 AM | Comments (442)
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Mayor Ed Koch Dead at 88
— Ace

R.I.P.

Mixed memories about his mayorship from Richard Brookhiser.

Posted by: Ace at 07:41 AM | Comments (121)
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Malaise: Unemployment Up .1%
— DrewM

7.9%

According to Alan B. Krueger, the White House Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers, this is an improvement although he again warned against looking too much at one month of statistics.
Â“While more work remains to be done, todayÂ’s employment report provides further evidence that the U.S. economy is continuing to heal from the wounds inflicted by the worst downturn since the Great Depression,Â” Krueger said in a statement. Â“It is critical that we pursue the policies needed to build an economy that works for the middle class as we continue to dig our way out of the deep hole that was caused by the severe recession that began in December 2007.Â”

Remember when 10 days after being sworn in as President for the second time Ronald Reagan kept blaming Jimmy Carter? Oh right he didn't because the economy was booming by then.

Old and busted: Forward! New Warmedoveredness: Eventually!

Your monthly jobs bummer: At this pace, the U.S. wonÂ’t get back to full employment until 2022 washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblogÂ…
— Ezra Klein (@ezraklein) February 1, 2013