Via @nkronos.

You kind of have to read this. You don't want to read it, and honestly, you're going to regret reading this. It's going to haunt you until the day you die. When death comes for you, you'll say, "Oh thank God, I'm dying, but at least my nightmares won't be filled with weird Kathy Griffin dirty-talk anymore."

Still and all, you have to read it. I can't even really quote it. I'll give you a keyword to search for: "Wet."

Yeah. It's like that. It's exactly what you think.

I know you don't want to read it. I didn't want to write it.

But we've got a real shit-sandwich on our hands here and we're all just going to have to take a great big bite.

A Video Telling of the Tale: Fred Stoller was on Norm MacDonald's podcast talking about the quivering ball of shot-out nerves and clinging paternal-rejection-complex need we call Kathy Griffin.

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Posted by: Ace at 04:44 PM | Comments (172)
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Here's the reason.

The problem stems from whether members and aides set to enter the exchanges would have their health insurance premiums subsidized by their employer — in this case, the federal government. If not, aides and lawmakers in both parties fear that staffers — especially low-paid junior aides — could be hit with thousands of dollars in new health care costs, prompting them to seek jobs elsewhere. Older, more senior staffers could also retire or jump to the private sector rather than face a big financial penalty.

Oh, and “lawmakers — especially those with long careers in public service and smaller bank accounts — are also concerned about the hit to their own wallets.” It’s too bad this concern didn’t extend to ordinary Americans.

Plus, crap care, but they don't want to mention that.

Posted by: Ace at 04:25 PM | Comments (101)
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If you're so inclined.

I know. Pointy.

Live ESPN thing here.

(a request from twitterer @Allout1 who is also Dr. Spank)

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 04:09 PM | Comments (343)
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I still think there isn't any real ricin here.

But, who knows, maybe there's a trace.

And maybe the letters weren't sent to kill anyone -- but to get someone arrested for attempted murder.

Oh, by the way, the second guy isn't technically an Elvis impersonator so I took advantage of the media loophole on headlines, a technique called "just lying about shit to make it sound better."

The investigation into ricin-laced letters addressed to the president, a U.S. senator and a Mississippi judge highlighted a personal feud Wednesday and an unusual cast of characters — starting with Paul Kevin Curtis, an Elvis impersonator who had pestered officials for years about his conspiracy theory that the federal government was involved in an organ-harvesting plot.

Most sensible thing I've heard all day.

During the court hearing, McCoy [Elvis' attorney-- ace] suggested that a Tupelo, Miss., taekwondo instructor may have tried to frame her client.

Didn't Elvis Presley's manager, Colonel Tom or whatever, teach him karate or something?

Hal Neilson, another attorney for Curtis, said that the defense gave authorities a list of people who may have had a reason to hurt Curtis, and that James Everett Dutschke's name came up.

On Tuesday, as federal charges against Curtis were dropped, authorities swarmed the Tupelo home of Dutschke, who goes by "Dusty" when playing with his band, Dusty & the RoboDrum.

Um... doesn't "Dusty & the RoboDrum" suggest it's just him and an electronic drumkit, and ergo that it is just him? And so not "a band"?

Do robotic drumkits count as band-mates? Eh, who knows. Kids These Days (TM).

Dutschke, who is under indictment in Lee County on charges of child molestation...

He's been accused of Conspiring to Mount an Anti-Bullying Workshop.

... has been cooperating with officials and is innocent in both cases, his attorney said.

Okay, so here's where it gets weird. I mean, this is where it continues to be weird. Curtis and Dutschke ("Dutschke" is derived from German, where in means "German") haven't spoken for years due to a feud.

Apparently KC was pushing his Organ Pirates theory, and Dutschke mentioned he had a newspaper -- by which I assume he meant "Crazed Newsletter" -- and proposed publishing KC's paranoiac rants in it. But then Dutschke apparently decided that such Ludicrous Piffle would besmirch the reputation of his Crazed Newsletter, and so did not publish the allegations of renal burglary and lung-jacking.

At which point, Curtis claims Dutschke started stalking him on the internet.

Now if you think about it for a moment, it seems just as likely (if not more so) that Curtis began stalking Dutschke -- after all, he'd spiked the story on the Great Pancreas Heist -- so it would be Curtis who was the aggrieved, and therefore stalky, party, but that's Curtis' story and he's stickin' to it.

And uhh... thankyouverymuch-ah.

Maybe they should have just stopped talking to each other and all this could have been avoided.*
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Posted by: Ace at 02:18 PM | Comments (287)
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It's unconscionable.

It's truly horrifying.

Parents say their daughters were told to ask one another for a kiss and they say two girls were told to stand in front of the class and pretend they were lesbians on a date.

“She told me, ‘Mom we all get teased and picked on enough. Now I’m going to be called a lesbian because I had to ask another girl if I could kiss her,’” parent, Mandy Coon, told reporters.

Coon says parents were given no warning about the presentation and there was no opportunity to opt-out. Both the school principal and the district superintendent are defending the workshops and advising they will schedule more.

“The school is overstepping its bounds in not notifying parents first and giving us the choice,” another parent said. “I thought it was very inappropriate. That kind of instruction is best left up to the parents.”

“I was absolutely furious — really furious,” a parent who asked to remain anonymous told reporter Todd Starnes, “These are just kids. I’m dumbfounded that they found this class was appropriate.”

There is a very real suspicion, held for good reason, that anything that is not illegal in a socialist state will be mandatory. That is, there are only two categories of actions: the illegal and criminal, and the mandatory and coerced. Only What the State Forbids and What the State Compels.

If the Gay Rights people are insisting that children must kiss same-sex children in order to make their lives more convenient, then I am going fully Anti-Gay-Rights.

You cannot demand that someone afford you the right of liberty while in the same movement stealing that very thing from everyone else.

How about this for an insane idea: Just as people have the right to be gay, other people retain their right to not be gay.

Or is that to "extreme" a position?

Keep.

Your Fucking.

Hands.

Off.

Other People's Children.

For God's sake. For God's sake.

Corrected: They did not actually make the girls kiss-- just ask each other if they could kiss each other.

Which is the difference between a 20 year sentence and a 5 year sentence. I'm going to need those 5 years just the same.

Posted by: Ace at 12:10 PM | Comments (445)
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In fairness, the Washington Post is just reporting what French officials are saying.

The assailant was of Iranian origin, and an official investigation was underway to determine a possible motive, Prasquier said.

Probably Tea Party.

The crazed attacker was pursued and tackled by citizens/witnesses.

More likely Tea Party.

Incidentally that's not as much of a joke as you think -- the French establishment is worried about a "Tea Party"-like movement forming. There's been a big mobilization of citizens against the gay marriage bill just passed in France, and you couldn't believe another law the socialist/communist majority just passed: A law granting amnesty to union thugs who commit crimes during their demonstrations, like burning cars and trashing factories. That law, I think, has not actually been passed into operative law yet (I think the system requires some kind of signing or assent by the president), and even the Socialist president is worried about it. (His approval rating is on the level of mange, so.)

Anyway, there's a lot of worry there about "populisme" gaining a foothold in France, e.g., actual citizen participation in public affairs, rather than politicians simply ignoring them.

In America, politicians still halfway pretend to care about what citizens believe. Not so much in Europe.

Posted by: Ace at 11:12 AM | Comments (176)
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Obama and Barbara Bush, I guess at the dedication of the Bush Library.

Posted by: Ace at 12:54 PM | Comments (277)
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This poster. That doesn't look at all Soviet.

Meanwhile, the 90% go marching and if they're not careful, they may momentarily inconvenience a bike messenger.

Posted by: JohnE. at 10:11 AM | Comments (111)
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The latest news is that the Tsarnaevs were headed to New York City to see Wicked and commit further acts of terror but mostly commit further acts of terror.

Eric Holder's gutsy call -- if it was his -- seems to have ended Suspect Number Two's cooperation.

Below, a link to the Press Conference. If that doesn't work, click here. It was scheduled for 1:30 but is running late.

In the meantime, feel free to check out the Sorceress in the sidebar.
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Posted by: Ace at 09:45 AM | Comments (153)
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Salon's Joan Walsh discussed David Sirota's prayer that the bombers be White, Male, and Christian, and praised him for his foresight. She's exactly as restrained and thoughtful as you'd expect her to be.

SE CUPP: You both seem to suggest that there is a need for conservatives to pin these kinds of moments on non-whites, but surely – surely, Joan – you have to also admit that there is a need among liberals to pin these kinds of attacks on white right-wingers. Surely, you have to find equal problem with that as well.

Walsh: I donÂ’t know if I find equal problem with it. If itÂ’s a white America, whites are just not profiled the way, you know, the way other groups are. One of our many privileges is weÂ’re just individuals. Those are crazy nuts over there, we donÂ’t have to answer for them.

Walsh went on to claim that, when violent attacks are perpetrated by minorities, there is a, "wave of paranoia, and profiling, and prejudice" that doesn't happen when whites are responsible. However, she offered no real examples of "waves of paranoia, profiling and prejudice" directed at minority groups after violent attacks like the Boston Bombing. It doesn't matter, liberal journalists like Walsh and Sirota have just created the myth and it's somehow become something that "everybody knows."

Meanwhile, a British writer asks precisely where this "wave of paranoia, and profiling, and prejudice" is, exactly. Besides my fondest dreams, I mean.

Whenever a bomb goes off in America or Britain, some liberalsÂ’ first reaction is to wonder whether stupid white people will go crazy and attack Muslims. Even while the dust of said bomb is settling, a certain breed of heartless commentator will shift his attention from those who were hurt in the attack to those who might be driven mad with racially tinged fury upon observing the attack: that is, the allegedly Islamophobic mob, the unenlightened public, for whom every Islamo-bombing is apparently a sign that Muslims are evil and must therefore be shouted at, spat on, and possibly punched.

So just hours after the bombing at the Boston Marathon, even before we knew who was responsible, there was media handwringing over the masses’ potentially intolerant response. Part of the reason David Sirota of Salon infamously hoped the Boston bomber would turn out be a white American is because he was fearful of the “societal response” if the bomber were a Muslim, concerned there would be “collective slandering” of Muslims by Americans. Likewise, two days after the attack, the Guardian published a piece implying America is already a country where the ill-educated think “all Muslims are terrorists”, so things could get really hairy if “the perpetrator of the Boston bombings turns out to be a Muslim”. There was a tsunami of post-Boston commentary about “the damage that Islamophobia can cause”, about the “ignorance and prejudice [that emerge] in the aftermath of a terrorist attack”, about Americans undergoing a “collective freakout steeped in Islamophobia”.

Clearly, some observers fear ordinary Americans more than they do terrorists; they fret more over how dangerously unintelligent and hateful Yanks will respond to bombings than they do over the bombings themselves. But where is this Islamophobic mob? Where are these marauding Muslim-haters undergoing a post-Boston freakout? They are a figment of liberal observersÂ’ imaginations.

Leftists (liberals are strongly infected by leftist thought, too) frequently claim that they stand heroically against witch-hunts and scapegoating.

That's not true. They simply have different witches and goats in mind for the reaping.

Posted by: Ace at 10:14 AM | Comments (204)
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