Even if you're not dead, this might be just the thing to liven up a Cory Feldman'esque birthday party. As part of your dining room furniture, I'm sure it would also be suitable for storing fine china, crystal, serving trays and such, as well as the occasional dead body should the seafood salad go bad...

...people can compile their own personal playlists before they die and the music will be streamed into their coffin...
...The music is piped into the casket via two-way front speakers, 4 inch mid-bass drivers, divine tweeters and a hell-of-an-8-inch subwoofer'...

...fitted with an external cooling system so they don't overheat...

I told Ace I wasn't the guy to do consumer electronics reviews, but sometimes a shiny object catches even my Luddite oriented eyes.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 07:43 AM | Comments (185)
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TFG.

[Breaking news update, 9:25 a.m. ET]
"My credibility is not on the line -- the international community's credibility is on the line," President Barack Obama said Wednesday in Sweden regarding his desire for a military strike in response to a suspected August chemical attack in Syria. He said the question is, after going through all the evidence: "Are we going to try to find a reason not to act? And if that's the case, then I think the (world) community should admit it."

[Breaking news update, 9:14 a.m. ET]
President Barack Obama said Wednesday the "red line" he previously spoke of regarding the use of chemical weapons in Syria wasn't his own, but the world's. "I didn't set a red line. The world set a red line. The world set a red line when governments representing 98%" of the world's population "passed a treaty forbidding (chemical weapons) use, even when countries are engaged in war," Obama said in Sweden.

It's not in that running update but Obama also said it's "Congress' credibility on the line" because they passed the Syrian Accountability Act...back in 2003 and the ban on chemical weapons a year or two before that.

So what did Obama actually say in announcing his, er, a red line?

“We have been very clear to the Assad regime, but also to other players on the ground, that a red line for us is we start seeing a whole bunch of chemical weapons moving around or being utilized,” the president said a year ago last week. “That would change my calculus. That would change my equation.”

Hmmm....not mentioned: "The World" or Congress.

Even David Gergen wasn't buying that. He pointed out that passing those things didn't commit the US to war, they committed the US to do something that they'd figure out latter if push came to shove which it has.

I would have loved to have seen Kerry and Hagel run this, "Hey, it's not the President's credibility on the line, it's yours. We're just trying to help you" gambit yesterday at the Senate Foreign Relations Committie. That might have been interesting.

It's absolutely amazing how little responsibility Obama takes. The only way he can even remotely get away with this nonsense is that he has a willing set of accomplices in the media.

Added: Rick Wilson has some political advice for the GOP on Syria...Run Away.
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Posted by: DrewM at 06:10 AM | Comments (573)
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• Sowell: Unserious About Syria
  
• Libya Is A Smoldering Mess, Let's Invade Syria
  
• Taranto: The Syria Debacle And The Lessons Of Iraq
  
• More Evidence The Shale Revolution Got Obama Re-elected
  
• Healthcare Premiums To Go Up 125% In Wisconsin
  
• Obama Now Trying To Claim He Didn't Set The Red Line
  
• I Always Root Against The Ravens, But Now You Have A Reason To As Well
  
• Goldberg: Better Storytellers, Better GOP
  
• Six Ways Activists Sabotage Their Cause
  
• Video Of Rand Paul Questioning Kerry At Yesterday's Hearing
  
• Senior Israeli Official Thinks Obama Is A Disastrous Weak Leader
  
• Nation Editor Supports Military Action Against The Real Enemy, States With Voter ID Laws
  
• Eurozone Ends Recession As Economy Grows 0.3%!!
  
• Fort Hood Shooter Forcibly Shaved In Prison
  
• Richard The Third Was Infected With Parasitic Worms
  
• Jack Nicholson Has Retired
  
• London Skyscraper Reflecting Sunlight Causing Things To Melt
  
• Germany To Prosecute 30 Auschwitz Guards
  

Check out this slide show of my vacation to a nudist colony.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 05:21 AM | Comments (189)
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Your 2008 GOP presidential nominee:

Because doing your job for three whole hours ... in a row ... is just too much to ask.

Posted by: andy at 02:22 AM | Comments (389)
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A man who can light up a room by entering at box.

Ariel Castro, the man convicted earlier this year of kidnapping three woman, holding them in his Cleveland home for nearly a decade, and repeatedly sexually assaulting them, committed suicide in his Ohio jail cell Tuesday night, according to an Ohio corrections official.

Here's my fantasy: The victims' statements, tearing into this monster, made an impact on him, and burrowed into his brain, and tore at his conscience until they eventually executed their own death penalty.

But that would imply a conscience to torment. More than likely he was just a soulless monster who didn't care much about his life or anyone else's and he just made a cold-blooded decision that he'd rather be dead than sitting in a cell the rest of his life.

Remember the ONT is below this post. This post is just for shadenmasturbation.

Posted by: Ace at 10:26 PM | Comments (63)
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Our Best and Brightest

At work planning on what to do about Syria. "We have a map."

Now in the large I'm for the bombing of foreigners  - partly on principle and partly just personal satisfaction. Especially when they're actual bad people like the Assad regime. But sometimes there really is nothing at all in it for us and we'd all be better off if they brutally slug it out for a few years. 

But even if I were convinced that Syria-bombing was exactly what was needed, I would still never put it into the hands of this particular collection of clowns, blowhards, naïve radicals, preening narcissists, high-functioning retards, and generally clueless-but-arrogant space-wasters. Hell some of these people I'd be nervous even trusting to pick up my mail and feed my pets while I was on vacation.

Posted by: Maetenloch at 06:14 PM | Comments (803)
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Heavy majorities oppose a Syrian action.

I snarked about this in the wisecracks, but John Kerry says he can't rule out boots on the ground if Syria implodes.

Personally... I don't believe this. Let me tell you what's going on. John McCain has a hard-on for the idea that unless our boys aren't losing limbs in the mud, then we're not acting "honorably." I believe that John McCain, for purposes of personal vanity, lobbied Obama to include this possibility, at least as a rhetorical nod.

It's all fake, like so much of John "Build the Dang Fence" McCain.

But then, this is the Administration's stated position, so while we're debating this we have to keep in mind that they are on record as saying they'll send in ground troops.

You know how seriously John McCain's taking the prospect of a land war in Asia? Via @comradearthur, this seriously.

While Kerry would not rule out an authorized, president-ordered strike on Syria, a top House Democrat says that if Congress doesn't authorize, Obama must not attack.

The right thing to do is just debate it to death so that the threat remains, technically, open. I doubt it will be voted down, per se. It will be withdrawn should it come to that.

Glenn Reynolds: Gee Willickers, this was all supposed to be so easy.

One of the things we were promised back in the 2008 election campaign was that under a Democratic administration America would be better liked and more influential in the world. Forget those dumb cowboys in the Bush/Cheney administration whose brash style grated on foreign sensibilities: Smooth, Europhile Democrats would win over the world, ushering in an era of peace and good feeling.

So, as Sarah Palin might say, how's that hopey-changey stuff workin' out for ya?

As far as comedy, it's working out outstandingly.

The conservatives have gone from being tarred as "warmongers" to being tarred as "isolationists. JonahNRO discusses this, and mentions Tim Carney's definition of an alleged "isolationist:"

Isolationist: n. Someone who, on occasion, opposes bombing foreigners.

Jim Geraghty: The Democrats' "Smart Power" has been vastly overstated. Yup. Same as their actual smarts.

Being nicer to countries like Russia will not make them nicer to you. The United Nations is not an effective tool for resolving crises. Some foreign leaders are beyond persuasion and diplomacy. There is no “international community” ready to work together to solve problems, and there probably never will be.

You can pin this on Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, Susan Rice, but most of all, the buck stops with the president. Those of us who scoffed a bit at a state senator ascending to the presidency within four years on a wave of media hype and adoration are not quite so shocked by this current mess. We never bought into this notion that getting greater cooperation from our allies, and less hostility from our enemies, was just a matter of giving this crew the wheel and letting them practice, as Hillary Clinton arrogantly declared it, “smart power.” (These people can’t even label a foreign-policy approach without reminding us of how highly they think of themselves.)

Assad called Obama weak.

Syrian president Bashar al-Assad slammed President Obama and again denied his governmentÂ’s role in a chemical attack against civilians in an interview Monday with the French newspaper Le Figaro.

“For us, a strong man prevents rather than starts a war…Obama is weak because he is facing pressure from within the United States,” al-Assad said.

Yeah that part wasn't available in the free excerpt which I translated. I guess Tucker Carlson is a Richie Rich with a subscription. Seethe.

By the way, Assad's a big dummy, because that's the last thing you say when you're dealing with a swaggering macho headcase. Or whatever Obama's problem is.

You probably heard that Boehner and Cantor, two men who lead a party I no longer belong to, are super-into this strike.

And I'm sure this will shock you, but now that President Nobel War Prize is spoiling for another hasty decision under pressure from the French, MSNBC is now officially the Place for War Fever.

In non-war news -- or is it? -- a rapist was shocked to discover that he might have AIDS due to transmission from the woman he forcibly raped.

Ah well. Tough break, champ! See you later when you're dead!

And, apropos of nothing (or is it?), here now a bear and wolf cub playing together.
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Posted by: Ace at 03:26 PM | Comments (703)
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20. John Kerry looks like Frankenstein had sex with George Hamilton and then someone botched his plastic surgery and left a Boot in his chin

19. Incidentally, Kerry speaks French like Kerry earned all three purple hearts. He rode both of those myths for 40 years.

One of Kerry's Purple Hearts was awarded for, and I am quoting his military records, "A Case of the Mondays"

18. So a horse walked up to John Kerry and asked "Why the Botox face?"

17. Kerry's face looks like the footballs they used to use when they were too ckufing stupid to wear helmets

16. Shorter Chuck Hagel: This is the first war in ten years that the Jews didn't trick us into war so Let's Do This

15. Shorter John Kerry: Obama does not support a total remodel of Syria, but he does want to give the place some color with Accent Bombings

14. Kerry: Obama wants only a limited war, unless this mission which is designed to fail to achieve any purpose fails to achieve any purpose

13. Kerry: Obama will not puts boots on the ground, unless this mission fails, which it is expressly designed to do, and what are the odds of that?

12. Martin Bashir has the first erection he's had since he checked out Michael Jackon's Rumpus Room

11. Shorter Kerry: Can you imagine the horror of Assad being left in power which is exactly what our plan is?

10. Ambassador Rice just put out the word that Kerry's and Hagel's testimony was caused by a YouTube video

9. John Kerry: I dream of one day having a Middle East as stable and imperturbable as my forehead

8. If you took the best parts of Kerry and Hagel, you'd have one modestly intelligent man whose face didn't look like an Ogre's plunder sack

7. John McCain asked to revise and extend the footjob he was giving John Kerry

6. John Kerry: Obama knows how to distinguish Al Qaeda jihadis from "moderate democrats" just like he did in Benghazi when he hired terrorists as security guards

5. I could just sit here quoting Democrats' words to them all day but as they plainly never believed a syllable of them, what's the point?

4. Alice just emailed me to say she's going back to Wonderland because "this shit is wack"

3. Obama's getting his War Card punched like he's already got that free sandwich picked out

2. Obama's plan is just to bomb random countries until the Nobel Prize Committee gets him a green Masters jacket

...and the number one wisecrack about Kerry and Hagel's testimony...

1. Evolution of US Foreign Policy, 1946-present

1946-2000: Realism
2001-2008: Neconservative idealism
2009-2012: Neointernationalism
2013: "YOLO" Doctrine

"YOLO" Strangelove picture courtesy of @comradearthur.

Bonus Entry: John Kerry just announced the inspirational rallying cry for this war. Henceforth, the Syrian Maintenance Bombings will be called OPERATION DEGRADE THE CAPACITY

Bonus: Shorter Barack Obama: "Our cause, whatever it is, is just"

Dr Spank disagrees that it will be called OPERATION DEGRADE THE CAPACITY. Not enough "punch." Not enough Bird Imagery.

He says the mission will be called OPERATION RUFFLED FEATHERS.

Posted by: Ace at 01:14 PM | Comments (1155)
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Sorry, I didn't realize this was a thing. Update: FoxNews has stopped carrying the hearings but of course MSNBC's got WAR FEVER!!!11!eleventy!, baby.

And Kerry said "y'all," so that means he's gonna get his Cowboy Imperialist Swagger Bombing On. Y'all.

So far several interesting things happened. Asked how the administration would distinguish Al Qaeda jihadis from "moderate democrat" rebels, Hagel punted to Kerry who then punted to Dempsey. I don't know what Dempsey said. Tinker to Evers to Chance, except awful.

I don't know the context, but apparently Kerry announced, "We have a map." Well, then we cannot fail!

Another line I don't know the context of: Kerry said, in response to a question about his knowledge of something, "To my knowledge, I have no knowledge..." of whatever was asked about.

But he does have that Map, so it's cool.

And Code Pink interrupted the Senate Intelligence Committee's hearings for a brief, indifferent Courtesy Protest.

Posted by: Ace at 11:55 AM | Comments (666)
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So here's the story: The molester admitted it. There was proof -- pictures of the boy, those sort of pictures, posted to porn sites.

The boy's parents learned of the molestation just shortly after the mother was diagnosed with cancer. Not that that's legally relevant, but it adds context for the following:

His fellow teachers urged the court to show leniency, and a school board member sat with the perpetrator's family in court, which seems to be a show of support.

The boy grew psychologically isolated and began having problems. It seems possible some of the teachers knew, and yet turned a blind eye. And yet here are some teachers demanding leniency for the molester.

“Neal made a mistake,” teacher Sally Campbell wrote to the judge, according to the Ogemaw County Herald. “He allowed a mutual friendship to develop into much more. He realized his mistake and ended it years before someone anonymously sent something in to the authorities which began this legal process.”

“I am asking that Neal be given the absolute minimum sentence, considering all the circumstances surrounding this case,” wrote Amy Huber Eagan, a teacher and wife of board member Mike Eagan. “I am also hoping that he can stay remanded to the custody of the Ogemaw County Jail and not be sent to a prison facility.”

“Neal has pled (sic) guilty for his one criminal offense but he is not a predator,” teacher Harriett Coe wrote, according to the Herald. “This was an isolated incident. He understands the severity of his action and is sincere in his desire to make amends. He has been candid and conveyed his action to his family, friends and co-workers.”

In all, 10 people, including seven WB-RC teachers, submitted letters of support for Erickson, most pleading for a reduced sentence.

He "allowed a friendship to develop into much more." There is no criminal penalty that can attach to writing a sentence but if there were, that would be punishable by 10 years imprisonment.

They care about children so much. Don't you understand? It's all about The Children.

Rank, such as high status in the Party of Government, hath its privileges.

"We're going to look into the Culture of Corruption in the schools, just like we did with the Catholic Church and the Penn State Football Program," said absolutely nobody in the national media.

Posted by: Ace at 11:15 AM | Comments (294)
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