CDR M is still trying to recover from his big Oscars party of last week, so youÂ’re stuck with me. I warned him against drinking raspberry Sparkletini, but did he listen? Noooo. Truth be told, I think heÂ’s still skeeved out by the sight of these two cuddling at a pre-Oscars party:

*shiver*

Happy Caturday!

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Posted by: Open Blogger at 06:21 PM | Comments (541)
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You can steal a nation's wealth but you cannot steal good taste.

It looks like Donald Trump vomited all over the place.

Speaking of ostentatious, this is Denzel Washington's California home:

Open thread.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 03:41 PM | Comments (181)
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Yes, This Is English

Good morning morons and moronettes and welcome to AoSHQ's prestigious Sunday Morning Book Thread. For non-book related discussions, please use Andy's open thread below. Thanks.

Ye Fyne Olde Wordes

Author Mark Forsyth likes to write about old words that are no longer in use, but perhaps should be. This article lists a few of them, and I was surprised how many of them describe aspects of the moron lifestyle. For example, an "ultracrepidarian" described as "somebody who gives opinions on subjects they know nothing about." I guess that's more hoity-toity than 'blowhard' or 'ignoramus'. Or, "fudgel", a verb which means "pretending to work when you're not actually doing anything at all." And then there are the snecklifters, who "poke their heads into a pub to see if there's anyone who might stand them a drink."

In other words, morons.

These and other lost words are discussed by Forsyth in his book Horologicon: A Day's Jaunt Through the Lost Words of the English Language.

I'm still looking for a word with a definition that means something like: "a person with (at best) mediocre ability and accomplishments who have nonetheless obtained a high status position because others are greasing the skids for them."

Like this new kid, Ronan Farrow, whom ace wrote about earlier this week.

Or, for that matter, Barack Obama.

Last Words of Famous Authors

Here is a little mix-and-match game. Try to figure out who said what without Googling. Winners get a "Get Out of the Barrel Free" card, good for one formatting screw-up.

1. Emily Dickenson
3. George Bernard Shaw
3. Henry David Thoreau
4. Washington Irving
5. Edgar Allan Poe
6. Dylan Thomas
7. H. H. Munro (Saki)
8. Plato

a) "Put that bloody cigarette out." (immediately after which he was killed by a sniper's bullet)

b) "Well, I must arrange my pillows for another weary night! When will this end?"

c) "Lord, help my poor soul."

d) "I've had 18 straight whiskies... I think that's the record."

e) "Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die."

f) "I thank the guiding providence and fortune of my life: first that I was born a man and a Greek, not a barbarian nor a brute; and next, that I happened to live in the age of Socrates."

g) "Let us go in; the fog is rising."

h) "Moose. Indian."
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Posted by: Open Blogger at 06:04 AM | Comments (182)
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Good afternoon my lovelies.

LetÂ’s get to it.

Chrysler orders that donated Vipers be destroyed.

IÂ’m not in the least bit worked up about this. ItÂ’s a shame but the colleges had an agreement with Chrysler and abuse of that agreement cost Fiat millions. Further, the college admits that there is little educational value in the car. Then, thereÂ’s this little bit of wackiness:

“It’s like the day Kennedy was shot,” Norm Chapman, automotive technology professor at SPSCC, said. “No one will forget where they were when they heard the news.”

Get some perspective, dude.

An old story, but a good one: A 102-year old man owned the same car for 78 years: A 1928 Rolls Royce.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 11:15 AM | Comments (250)
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For those of you not interested in gardening.

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Posted by: Open Blogger at 07:42 AM | Comments (110)
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This thread brought to you by SPIDER ROBOT LAMPS!!! :

Good afternoon, morons and moronettes! Welcome to your Saturday Gardening Thread. Today’s “topic” is gardening trends and gadgets. To get in the mood, put on your tux, light a cigarette, and pour yourself a dry martini (shaken, not stirred).

The Home & Garden Show season is in full swing, which is to say that it seems to be nearly over in much of the country. However, our local show is this weekend, so it only just now hit my radar. Never having been to one of these shows before, I didnÂ’t know what to expect. So armed with my trusty camera phone and the $10 admission fee, I headed off to the show on Friday afternoon. The sacrifice it required for me to mix and mingle with the Great Unwashed Masses inside a hot, chaotic convention center when I could have been enjoying a beautiful Spring day was considerable, but what can I say? IÂ’m a giver!

I arrived shortly after the three-day event opened. The venue was large, noisy, and poorly ventilated. It took me about an hour and a half to walk up and down all of the aisles too look at all of the booths, stopping at a handful that interested me.

Upshot? It was much more of a “home” than a “garden” show. So my dreams of having tons of content for today’s post were quickly dashed. I did find the mix of displays to be “interesting”. In addition to the usual home improvement contractors, there were a few cheesetastic crafts booths, a bunch of cookware displays (and demos), numerous chiropractors, one baker (I bought a loaf of pumpernickel bread from them), MANY MANY mattress displays, even MORE booths hawking sheets, some financial planners, and a couple of crematoria and mortuary booths! Sadly, the crematorium one was not directly adjacent to the barbecue display – THAT would have been comedy gold!

Out of hundreds of displays, there was one unique one displaying prototypes of a hydroponic wall system. The idea is that youÂ’d mount this self-contained unit on a wall in your house. The inventor claimed that using this system you can grow several heads of lettuce (or whatever plant you choose) each week. (There is also a light fixture, but they had not gotten that set up yet so itÂ’s not in the photo.) Anyway, it was the most unusual thing I saw there so I thought IÂ’d share it with you:

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Posted by: Open Blogger at 07:43 AM | Comments (167)
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Good mornin' all.

This is a really touching piece by Ron Suskind on his son's autism and Disney. As the dad of a very affected 10-year old, it really resonated with me.

It also reminded me how much I despise the asshats who abused Disney's disability pass and forced them to change the program.

Which, in turn, leads to this piece by Jonah Goldberg on "hidden law".

Posted by: andy at 03:44 AM | Comments (304)
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Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Posted by: Open Blogger at 03:40 AM | Add Comment
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Warning: your margins will hate you for reading on.

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Posted by: CAC at 06:00 AM | Comments (250)
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It's the International Day of Women.

This probably isn't being noted widely on the right, but we're proud at AoSHQ that we have a fairly big population of female readers.

And we don't take the time to acknowledge that enough, and thank the ladies for gracing us with their wit and ideas.

So I thought I would rectify that with a Pictorial Essay to thank the Women of AoSHQ for just being You.

You've earned this, ladies. No need to thank me in advance.

Now go out there and Be Somebody. more...

Posted by: Ace at 02:57 PM | Comments (1066)
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