Yaa-a-a-awn. OH.
Excuse me:

"The discovery of a tiny moon circling the most distant object seen in the solar system is further proof that the view of a tidy solar system with nine planets - enshrined in science-fair dioramas and school textbooks - is headed toward almost certain revision."

Wow. Oh, I am so tired all of a sudden. Hold on. I have to lie down. Read this;

In July, astronomers announced the discovery of what they considered the 10th planet, an icy world that swings 9 billion miles away from the sun and is almost certainly larger than Pluto. This weekend, they declared this object, informally known as Xena, also has a most planetlike feature: a moon.

Whether Xena is in fact a planet will be the decision of the International Astronomical Union (IAU), which could instead begin a far more fundamental reexamination of what a planet is.

Oh. That is spine-tingling. I can barely stand it. "Informally known as Xena." Do any of you geeks not know where they're coming from? I mean really. Xena.
Let's just name it 'Big-breasted Bi-Goddess of the Magical Leather Bustier.'

Then again, Xena could redefine what a planet is. "It's going to reignite the planet debate," says Marcos van Dam, breathing heavily into his retainer with barely concealed arousal.

Last year, they found Sedna, a curiously reddish body with its own moon. Now, with Xena, they have found a Kuiper Belt object larger than Pluto, and they could find scores more such "planets" - leading IAU to reconsider the term.

None of them, however, will probably be named after TV show characters, like Xena the Warrior Princess. Xena is technically named 2003 UB313 and will remain so until the IAU decides whether it is a planet. And IAU chooses the name itself.

Oh trust me. It's Xena. Geeks don't let go of that shit.
You dance with them ONCE at a party, and they call you for fucking weeks on end. 'I thought we were really connecting,' 'You said you had a good time,' 'You swore to me that your molten iron core was surrounded by a light crust of continental rock,' ETC.

Pretty cool, the planet definition thing. What is it about us that has to classify a thing, anyway?

Posted by: LauraW. at 06:57 PM | Comments (33)
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Sorry. Those of you with money riding on son number one, Kim Jong-nam, or son number three, Kim Jong-un, tear up your tickets, cause itÂ’s a final:

Kim Jong-Chol, son number two, at the wire.

[Fun fact: “He is such an enthusiastic fan of U.S. NBA professional basketball that his doting father built basketball courts at his villas throughout North Korea.” ]

Really, son number oneÂ’s chances took a dive back in 2001 with that Disneyland incident:

The eldest, Jong-nam, 34, was deported from Japan in 2001 on suspicion of trying to enter the country using a forged Dominican Republic passport.

He was sent to China from Japan and was quoted as saying at the time that he was trying to visit Tokyo Disneyland.

He reportedly fell out of favor over the incident and has since been the target of two assassination attempts, South Korean media reported citing intelligence sources.

Once, on a Friday in high school, I ditched class and hit Cedar Point with some friends. My Dad found out and got pretty pissed. No assassination attempts, but still, you could tell he was pretty steamed.

At the time, I thought, “What a cool dad, he’s not going to assassinate me.”

Now, looking back on it, I realize it’s just that sort of ‘spare the rod’ parenting that explains why were falling so far behind behind the North Koreans on standardized tests.

Posted by: Dr. Reo Symes at 04:07 PM | Comments (12)
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The comment screening system is acting retarded again. It took me ten minutes to edit a comment to the point where it was acceptable. Among the forbidden series of letters:

"d th"

"deog"

"d s"

etc. The system currently has a hard-on about the letter "d," in almost any comination with other letters.

Lets "rapes" fly right by, though.

Posted by: Ace at 01:46 PM | Comments (42)
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There's a thin line between free expression and criminal incitement in the form of entertainment.

And when you're dealing with a product that will be sold mostly to kids, I think you may be on the wrong side of that line.

Thanks to Jake.

Posted by: Ace at 11:07 AM | Comments (58)
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A very old re-post. It wasn't online for a while (or so I thought), but now it's back up.

Thanks to TheShadow. Hey, it's just a cool song.

Posted by: Ace at 10:33 AM | Comments (1)
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Take two doses of rocketsauce and call me in the morning:

An Oregon woman whose doctor convinced her that he could cure her lower back pain by having sex with her is suing him and his medical clinic for $4 million, according to legal documents obtained on Monday.

The doctor, Randall Smith, who was 50 at the time, was stripped of his license and sent to jail for 60 days last year for charging the state's Oregon Health Plan $5,000 for his 45-minute "treatments" involving the woman.

"Dr. Smith's medical treatment included intercourse in which he told plaintiff was needed to help alleviate plaintiff's lower back and lower extremity pain," the former patient said in the lawsuit.

Ahem. This woman basically walked into the "plot" of one-quarter of all porno scenes ever filmed. They say the local pizza delivery boys and pool-cleaning guys just love her, especially when she doesn't have change for a decent tip.

Fun fact: There used to be a criminal law against this, mostly in the common law, but sometimes formalized into an entry in the criminal code. Well, it may still be on the books in some jurisdictions, but you don't hear about it much.

Tricking a woman into sex -- not really raping her, just tricking her -- is or used to be a crime called Seduction. You can look it up and everyting.

Thanks to SWOOD and The Wardobe Door.

Dr. Reo Symes' Counterpoint:

Just because your know-it-all AMA boys and fancy pants 'licensed' medical types don't yet recognize sex with Doctors as the cure all it is, doesn't mean it can't work miracles (particularly with the ample busomed).

Science doesn't care what what's 'politcally correct.' It cares about results. And if were gonna start a witch hunt on medical pioneers like this good man, men of science who actually GIVE A DAMN about young toned women with bak pain, then we might as well close up shop - throw in the towel on medical advancement.

Sure go ahead, shut down the visionaries, the pharmaceutical companies, everything trying to make a GOD DAMNED DIFFERENCE! Luddites!

Well, they do say it clears up the skin. So maybe it's not so crazy after all!

Though I'm not sure I'd trust a "doctor" who was incapable of successfully spelling "bosomed."

Posted by: Ace at 10:15 AM | Comments (26)
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Tomorrow on Hoist the Black Flag (over at Rightalk) we'll have radio host, columnist, and author of The FairTax Book and The Terrible Truth About Liberals Neal Boortz.

We'll be talking about the Fair Tax, Bill Bennet, Tom DeLay, Harriet Miers. All of the fun stuff.

Sadly, we've lostTim Blair, who just couldn't make the show live due to the time difference. Hopefully we'll get him in a taped interview soon enough.

Posted by: Ace at 10:08 AM | Comments (25)
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This makes a full rebuild of New Orleans a much harder sell.

If the city is so perilously situated that it cannot resist a Category ONE hurricane (at landfall) without suffering billions in damage... can we really afford to rebuild it?

I'm a sentimentalist and I'm also a little stubborn. I'm kinda-sorta in favor of a fairly extensive rebuild of the city... or at least I was. When I assumed that some smarter planning and some stronger, taller levees could keep New Orleans relatively safe.

But if the city will be destroyed everytime a Category 3 hurricane blows through, then reality and prudence have to trump sentimentality and stubborness.

Edit: This post is based on as-of-yet unproven computer modeling and such. So I was wrong to headline it as if it were an established fact.

Thanks to Strom for calling me on my loose shit.

Posted by: Ace at 09:07 AM | Comments (28)
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Okay, here's one of those admittedly-irresponsible bits of premature scuttlebutt that bloggers so frequently indulge in. Like, you know, claiming that 10,000 people died in the Katrina floods, and that a sunspot-burst of intense ultraviolet light mutated New Orlean's rats into three-foot-tall bipedal sexual-predator "ratmen" roaming the flooded streets on crude rafts armed with high-powered sniper rifles.

Which the MSM would never, ever do. Unless Mayor Roy Nagin told them about the Ratman Rape Gangs.

The Northeast Intelligence Network says that the Oklahoma University stadium bomber had lots of jihadist literature in his apartment.

Take it with a grain of salt.

And be on the lookout for a Spanish-speaking ratman answering to the name "Cholo," who can be identified by a gold-capped ratfang and extensive body-tatoos of Ponce De Leon sodomizing Andy "Matlock" Griffiths.

Cholo hates Matlock. Well, it's a love/hate thing. With ratman sodomy.

Posted by: Ace at 08:45 AM | Comments (31)
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Update/Correction! Feisty Republican Whore suspected this was a satire. Turns out she was right. The "proposed law" discussed below was actually a spoof put forward by someone fed up with Seattle's nanny-statism.

Thanks to Paul for straightening out that loose shit.

Still... I think the rant is funny.

ORIGINAL POST FOLLOWS:

Energy Nazis.

It's a weird thing. Somehow the various liberal erogenous zones -- the Rousseauian nonsense about man in his natural state, goofball theories about Indians, and Gaia-worship -- came together to make the use of energy sinful in the liberal mind.

Nevermind all the electricity liberals use writing goofy shit on-line, running strobe lights at raves, filling their pot-closets with UV light, keeping their meth lab warehouse lofts at a comfortable 72 degrees, making art-house short films deviant group sex with monkeys, indulging in ridiculously over-the-top cliches, etc.

At the hear of this silliness is a basic belief in magic. Yes, magic. The Reality-Based Community apparently believes they can supply the world with all the energy they need by tapping the greatest alternative energy source their is -- Love -- and building beautiful bicycle paths from Chicago to New York to cut down on all that wasted jet fuel.

Posted by: Ace at 08:33 AM | Comments (36)
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