I was looking for this list earlier and got sidetracked.

It doesn't disappoint.

Boxer, Bayh, Kerry, Kennedy--

Not the "Master Race" as I would have envisioned it, but I'm no Robert Byrd.

the UNPOPULIST

Posted by: Ace at 01:17 PM | Comments (10)
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Me
Hello

Ace
John, it's Ace

Me
Ace? Oh, Ace. How's it going?

Ace
Don't 'how's it going' me, what the hell's going on over there?

Me
What do you mean?

Ace
What do I mean? Did you think I wouldn't see that post you did with me brown-nosing Redford and Matthews?

Me
Hey, Jordan did part of that post.

Ace
I know, and it was the only funny part.

Me
Yeah, it was pretty funny, I like the part...

Ace
Can you explain to me why every link on my blogroll goes to your site?

Me
That was actually Dave's idea.

Ace
And I suppose it was Dave's idea for my donation button to direct people to your PayPal account?

Me
No, Zelda was the one who suggested that.

Ace
Now, you listen to me, John - wait, hang on a second.

(Ace talking in background)
You - I told you yesterday that I wanted a tight tuck - TIGHT. I was tossing and turning in those loose sheets all night. And you - I said Evian, not Perrier, you idiot! Do I look like some Perrier-swilling rube to you? I want my tip back from yesterday - come on, give it back! OK, now get out of here, both of you. I cannot work like this.

Ace
Look, John - I'm very busy here and I don't have time to babysit you. Now you just get everything fixed and do it now!

Me
I'll do it right now, Ace, and I'm really...

Ace
And change my password back, damn it!

Me
That wasn't me, that was Rob...

(Click)

Posted by John from Wuzzadem (But the post was Dave's idea, I swear it was)

Posted by: Ace at 01:06 PM | Comments (9)
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This just hit Drudge:

OCALA, Fla. -- Two boys, ages 9 and 10, were charged with felonies and taken away from school in handcuffs, accused of making violent drawings of stick figures.

The boys were arrested Monday on charges of making a written threat to kill or harm another person, a second-degree felony.

The special education students used pencil and red crayon to draw primitive stick figure scenes on scrap paper that showed a 10-year-old classmate being stabbed and hung, police said.

Stabbings? Hangings? C'mon, that's nothing. When I was 9 years old, I wrote an essay explaining in exacting detail how I would use the '"Five Finger Exploding Heart Technique" on Danny Kasparzak because of the wedgie he gave me in gym glass.

I know, I know-- we live in the post-Columbine era, everybody most be be careful.

But there's common caution, and then there's common sense. And putting a felony charge on a ten year-old for a drawing must fall in the latter category.

Anyways, the Opinion Journal's James Taranto covers the "Zero Tolerance Watch" beat much better than I do, so I'll just sit here quietly.

And plot my imminent murderous reign of vengeance in silence.

---
UPDATE: In the comments, Amish warns us about the dangers of drawing stick figures.

Hey, if you want to see the most dangerous stick figure of all, see the Subservient Stickman.

Not as original as the Subservient Chicken, but at least Mr. Stickman actually hangs himself when you type in "hang."

Now THAT'S customer service.

-- Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Ace at 01:01 PM | Comments (8)
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More from Are You Conservative on Bush's plan to flush perfectly good money down the tiolet (note to comment flamer - not really).

Excerpt - read it all here.

'Important research promising hope to 80 billion people by curing 80 billion different diseases goes on the back burner so Bush can macho it up in Iraq'

...But, alas, although there was an extra 80 billion dollars just sitting around collecting dust - 80 billion dollars that could have funded embryonic stem cell research, our President decided he wants to spend it on, get this: "Democracy in the Middle East."

Sure, we've got the cure for what ails you. And, yeah, we can offer you perfect health, Xtreme longevity, zero body fat, six-pack buns and abs of steel...

Posted by John from WuzzaDem

Posted by: Ace at 12:11 PM | Comments (2)
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Even coffins.

Here's a bikini calendar put out by Cisa, a funeral home and coffin factory in Rome, Italy.

None of the girls are nude, but they are in some pretty skimpy bikinis. Don't click if you're not into that sort of thing.

[Cross-posted at Say Anything]

Posted by: Ace at 10:47 AM | Comments (14)
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Can't post much, as this keyboard is so different from the one I'm used to it takes me ten minutes to write a sentence.

Tried to crash a couple of big parties last nigt -- including the William Morris Agency party-- but no go. Wound up at a party that some European filmmakers were giving for their movie. Didn't meet anyone who could possibly help me-- all Europeans and/or short feature makers. Hopefully tonight will be better.

I'm going to see the Strangers With Candy feature tomorrow.

I have only seen one celebrity, Vera Famiga from Touching Evil and a bunch of movies. I recognized her, and said "There's a famous actress," and I guess she doesn't hear that enough because she turned and smiled. Not remembering her name, I just pointed to her and said "You... you're good." She smiled again.

And then I saw her again today.

Oh-- and I porked Miyam "Blossom" Bialyk. But I really don't think that she can help me. To be honest, I think she was hoping that I could get *her* connections.

I'm so psyched you guys got an Instalanche. I think I may just retire from blogging myself and become a Nick Denton type figure, letting other people do all the work while I collect the crazy blog-money.

Thanks so much for keeping the site up, guys. And for getting me my best traffic in a month. Totally awesome.

I'll check back in later, probably tomorrow.

Posted by: Ace at 10:45 AM | Comments (9)
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Zelda--

Excellent post, but I disagree a wee bit on one point of yours. Rather than comment to your post, I figure I'll use my Super Posting Power! to enlarge the scope of this discussion to involve all us guest bloggers.

Because, let's be honest, everybody has their opinion on why the Dems screwed this one up.

I don't think Senator Kerry moved any farther to the Left this year. At least not in the general election, where necessity demands all candidates move at least somewhat towards the Center. Granted, when compared to Clinton's campaigns (especially 1996), Kerry's was certainly further to the left, but when compared to most every other Democratic campaign in the past thirty years, Kerry's was no more Left than normal.

Then again, no Democrat other than Clinton has won recently, so perhaps that's the problem, eh?

I think what ultimately motivated many undecideds to vote against Senator Kerry was a conclusion that they couldn't tell which side of the spectrum Kerry would lead from: the campaign-spun Center, or more to the far Left.

If anything, Kerry's fault wasn't that he moved to far to the Left-- it was that he was already Left, but didn't move far enough (or effectively enough) to the Center.

Given the flip-flopping charges early on, Kerry already had a natural handicap working against him in trying to move towards the Center.

As a result, few believed Senator Kerry when he pushed his "new" nuanced Centrist positions-- not the skeptical undecideds, and not the diehard Left who fondly remembered, with a wink and a nudge, the unapologetically liberal Kerry. Overcoming this confusion ultimately turned out to be an impossible task for the Kerry Campaign.

Heck, given Kerry's flawed campaign, if it weren't for the "Anybody But Bush" vote, the election may not even have been close.

Then again, whadda I know? I voted Matt Hooker for President.

-- Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Ace at 10:36 AM | Comments (11)
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What's a wealthy Egyptian young woman to do if she gets pregnant out of wedlock?

For the Egyptian elites, the answer is to first get the girl an abortion, then have the girl's virginity surgically restored, and finally, marry her off to the first unsuspecting suitor.

But this won't be the case for a young costume designer in Egypt who's already had the baby and is going to court to get the alleged father, a host of a religious talk show, to get a DNA test.

You all might be wondering why she wasn't killed out right. I guess wealth has its privileges in the Middle East.

Unfortunately, a fourteen year old Kuwaiti girl was not so lucky. Her father, who suspected her of having sex, tied her up, gagged her, and slit her throat in front of her two siblings.

This is just too sick.

Zelda -- The Urban Grind

Posted by: Ace at 10:34 AM | Comments (6)
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Its about time this was addressed (via Dakota Pundit).

BISMARCK, N.D. - Students should get their money back if they can't understand lectures delivered with thick accents and quirky pronunciations, says a lawmaker who wants to outlaw unclear English in the classroom.

"The number one priority of higher education is instructing the student, the paying customer," said Rep. Bette Grande, R-Fargo.

Grande is sponsoring legislation that would bar teachers from undergraduate courses if they cannot clearly speak English. Students who complain in writing about a teacher's diction would be refunded their tuition and fee payments for that course.

I cannot begin to describe to you the frustration I felt when sitting in the back of my math class trying to understand advanced concepts being taught me in a thick Indian accent. What's even worse is when the instructor can't understand you when you're trying to ask a question. I paid for the education, seems to me I have the right to receive it in a way I can understand. And this isn't about "learning to deal with cultural differences." If I sign up for a math class, I want math. If I wanted culture I'd sign up for a humanities course.

Of course, the university administrators are dead-set against this. more...

Posted by: Ace at 10:24 AM | Comments (13)
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Winner:

Losers:

Cross-posted at Alarming News.

Posted by: Ace at 10:21 AM | Comments (6)
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