When Senator Kerry was asked why he plans to vote against the $80 billion before he votes for it, he replied "Let's be honest-- when I did it the other way I made a bad call, Ripley. Boy, was it a bad call."

"Now excuse me, I've got to go buy my Packers hat for the World Series!"

---

If you care to read more about one lonely man's opinion on the defense supplemental process, you can visit my posting here.

Or, if you want to skip the middleman and head straight to a dream-filled slumber of sugar-plums, fairies, and the female cast of The O.C., may I recommend fast-acting Nyquil?

Either way, IBM presents, "You Make The Call."

-- Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Ace at 03:17 PM | Comments (5)
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Apparently al Zarqawi's moment of candor the other day even scared some British mamby-pambs straight.

Just look at who is trying to stop Iraqis voting and by what methods. That alone shows how important this week's elections are to Iraq.

The horrific war against the Iraqi people is being run by the same people who oppressed and tortured them for decades - Saddam's henchmen and gaolers. They are more than ably abetted by the Islamofascist jihadists led by Osama bin Laden's Heydrich in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.

...

Tony Blair said in Baghdad in December: "On the one side you have people who desperately want to make the democratic process work, and want the same type of democratic freedoms other parts of the world enjoy, and on the other side people who are killing and intimidating and trying to destroy a better future for Iraq. Our response should be to stand alongside the democrats."

Blair is absolutely right. It is shocking that so few democratic governments support the Iraqi people. Where are French and German and Spanish protests against the terror being inflicted on voters in Iraq? And it is shocking that around the world there is not wider admiration of, assistance to and moral support (and more) for the Iraqi people. The choice is clear: movement towards democracy in Iraq or a new nihilism akin to fascism - Islamist fascism.

And you thought balls had been bred out of these folks completely...

the UNPOPULIST

Posted by: Ace at 03:00 PM | Comments (6)
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Obviously, you know where to go for more info.

I'm no expert on nuclear reactors, but if I know one thing, leaking coolant is what the engineers refer to as "bad."

I genuinely hope everything turns out okay for our Michigan readers out there.

No word yet from Drudge on how this event may affect the price of Disney stock.

--Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Ace at 02:56 PM | Comments (10)
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Okay, good to see the guest bloggers are all settling in.

Twelve copies of my script? Check. (If I get three people to take one, I'll consider myself lucky.)

Business cards containing the name of the script? Sorta check. No time for proofing, and I know in my gut the they are going to completely screw up the cards with embarassing typos.

I put "NOTE THE APOSTROPHE" in a word of my script. How much you want to bet they read that as "NOT AN APOSTROPHE"? Or do they even grok "apostrophe"?

Flights & accomodations booked, draining all the crazy blog-money out of my account? Check. Whoo-hoo. Can't wait for the return flight back... have to kill the day until 8:30 pm and then change planes in Denver and get back to NYC at... 5:30 am Monday morning. That will be enormously fun.

Do they still have hookers in airports? Just wondering.

Still to do: get haircut, get boots, get gloves, get a nice pair of Big Boy Pants so that everyone will know that I am Stylin' and Not Someone To Be Taken Lightly.

And it's all gotta happen by eight o'clock or so.

Yeah.... that's all gonna happen, right?

Posted by: Ace at 02:09 PM | Comments (12)
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Hey everyone,

I'm Zelda with The Urban Grind. I'm so looking forward to being one of the guest bloggers here this week. It's a huge honor for me.

Anyway, I've just been alerted by Kevin McCullough about a fracas going on at the University of Oregon over a "support the troops" sticker on a state employee's truck.

Now I just got off the phone with President Dave Frohnmayer's office. The assistant told me that the only reason such a fuss was made was because the man in question is a state employee driving a state-owned truck, and that they aren't allowed to have ANY kind of sticker on their trucks.

The woman was quick to point out that students and faculty can have all types of stickers on their cars. Yet still, this whole thing seems fishy to me. I mean, I have trouble believing that such a fuss would have been made if that driver had a "Kerry/Edwards" sticker on his truck.

So if you guys want to get invovled and let the University know what you think of all this, here's the contact info. for the President:

Office of President Dave Frohnmayer
E-MAIL:UNIVERSITY'S PRESIDENT
PHONE HIM:541-346-3036

Zelda

Posted by: Ace at 02:04 PM | Comments (4)
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This is John from WuzzaDem. Ace didn't actually ask me to guest-blog here while he was out west brown-nosing with Robert Redford, but I figured out his password. I did lobby for the job, and actually provided him with some very strong endorsements:

Dick Morris
"He does good work, but it would be a lot better if he'd mention that time Hillary slashed Bill's tires when she caught him at a motel with three hookers. And if he'd plug my books."

Pat Buchanan
"He is not a blogger in the true sense of the word, he is a neo-blogger, and I'll tell you right now that the work being done by him and others like him is a threat to the very heart and soul of the so-called blogosphere."

Katrina vanden Heuvel
"What's with that jacket he's always wearing?"

Peggy Noonan
"Well, goshdarnit, he's just a really swell guy who's got just the neatest little blog. And Pat, that's not a very nice thing to say."

Pat Buchanan
"Peggy Noonan, you know as well as I do that if Ronald Reagan were alive and blogging today, he would never link to the kind of garbage you see on WuzzaDem, and he certainly would not have him on his Blogroll."

Dick Morris
"You know, not many people know it, but Ronald Reagan didn't like Bill Clinton. Couldn't stand him."

Peggy Noonan
"Now, that is just a terrible thing to say, Dick."

Dick Morris
"No, really, he used to call him 'That hick with the loud hair and even louder wife."

Pat Buchanan
"You know, speaking of Reagan, I think what we need to remember is that even though there was a 28.3% increase in the Gross Domestic Product during the 1980's, the overall increase in military spending as a percentage of the GDP only increased by .6% during Reagan's term, even though it nearly doubled in dollar amount from $158 billion to $304 billion."

Dick Morris
"No thanks to Hillary Clinton."

OK, I think I know why Ace turned me down.

John from WuzzaDem.com
John@WuzzaDem.com

Posted by: Ace at 01:54 PM | Comments (2)
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Hi, my name is Jordan, and I run the UNPOPULIST, the blog that did it with your mom.

On some dangerously misguided whim, Ace has asked me to contribute here while he's away. Note, this request is most explicably the consequence of mistaken identity.

I have decided to comply.

I present for your consideration: Top Ten Reasons the UNPOPULIST Was Chosen to Help Sub at Ace-o-Spades HQ:

10. Margaret Cho wouldn't commit.

9. Margaret Cho is an ugly, lumbering bore.

8. I know Rue McClanahan.

7. I know Max Hardcore.

6. John Ashcroft is using Ace to get to me.

5. James Dobson is using Ace to get to me.

4. Ace is dying.

3. Ace is Rue McClanahan.

2. I am Richard Mulligan.

And the #1 reason the UNPOPULIST asked to sub at HQ:

1. Ace does not read the UNPOPULIST.

Courage, Ace. And good luck.

Posted by: Ace at 01:03 PM | Comments (3)
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tap, tap, tap.

Ahem. Good afternoon everyone.

There is nothing wrong with your monitor. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling the transmission. For the next week we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the outer limits.

Or, maybe it's just us guest bloggers helping our good friend Ace keep his Sitemeter up while he slacks off on the beach, reenacting his favorite Mario Lopez scenes from Pacific Blue.

Please note that Sitemeter Instalanches lasting longer than four hours require immediate medical attention.

So without further a-dew, this is Dave from Garfield Ridge, reporting for duty!

Now. . . it's time for the Monkey Karate Explosion!

Posted by: Ace at 11:50 AM | Comments (3)
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Seems the good Dr. Rice was too meeeeeaan to her:

Mrs. Boxer yesterday called that response a "good debating technique... When you really don't know what to say about a specific, you just attack the person who is asking the questions," Mrs. Boxer told CNN.

Hmmmm... attacking? How about attacking the person whom you're questioning?

On CNN, Mrs. Boxer accused Miss Rice of intentionally "frightening every American, and that was the point."

"She didn't hesitate to go out and sell this war to the American people," Mrs. Boxer said. "She said things that were flat-out not true."

Unbelievable.

Posted by: Ace at 10:31 AM | Comments (11)
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You probably already know these guys, as I've linked them frequently.

John Wuzzadem is, I guess, an ex-Democrat who's now seen the light. He's been embarassing me lately with his high-quality parodies.

Karol from Alarming News is the first real blogger I met, and had an awful lot to do with me starting this moronblog. I link her a lot, because she finds a lot of interesting news and has interesting stuff to say about it.

The Unpopulist is another guy I keep linking, and whose tips I've come to rely upon. Great blog, and I hope he'll bring some of his energy to this (lately low-energy) site.

Say Anything is one of those blogs that annoys me, because he's gotten way too much attention in a short period of time. Attention that I think should be flowing to me, damnit.

The Urban Grind is a great, new-ish blog, and she provides me with a lot of interesting and fun tips. It's another blog that should be more widely read, so why not start reading her now?

Dave from Garfield Ridge is a long-time contributor to the site, in both tips and the comments, and hopefully he'll provide good insights on 1) his area of expertise, defense policy and systems and 2) the caste system in Planet of the Apes. He can't post during the day, but hopefully he'll be a strong closer for the night-crew.

Thanks to all the guest-bloggers. It's really appreciated.

Posted by: Ace at 09:59 AM | Comments (8)
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