January 28, 2005
— Ace Huh. You learn something new everyday.
Read more about SpongeBob's lack of recognizable genitalia in the Washington Post ("free" registration required; pudknockers.)
Now, longtime readers of Garfield Ridge know that I am an impassioned defender of asexual rights.
BTW, you really should read my post, if only because it's the first time anyone in the history of the internet has ever written the phrase "fully-functional biologically-operational he-she hydras."
Anyways, please join me to cordially welcome Mr. Squarepants to the asexual revolution.
Let's just hope that SpongeBob isn't the only asexual character we get to see on television. In fact, I hear that the following asexual-themed television pilots are in development, each catering in their own unique way to the asexual American audience:
-- Sexless In The City
-- Nobody Loves Raymond
-- Dull As Folk
-- Hardball With Chris Matthews
-- Will and Nobody Else
-- Me, Myself and I for the Straight Guy
-- Star Trek: Enterprise
-- My Big Fat Obnoxious Blow-Up Doll
-- The Self-Love Boat
I am *so* there.
Posted by: Ace at
09:58 AM
| Comments (6)
Post contains 186 words, total size 2 kb.
— Ace Heh.
That should teach those Nazis over at Fox News a thing or two about "Fair & Balanced."
[Cross-posted at Say Anything]
Posted by: Ace at
09:57 AM
| Comments (9)
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.
— Ace Via Drudge, an article that uncovers some interesting (and disturbing) facts about Farenheit 9/11 that I hadn't heard before:
Two days after being snubbed when the Oscar nominations were announced, Michael Moore was left off the list Thursday when the Writers Guild of America unveiled nominees for its first documentary writing award for a feature film...."Fahrenheit 9/11" also failed to earn an Academy Award nomination this week. In that case, however, he had declined to submit "Fahrenheit" in the documentary category because he planned a TV airing before the Nov. 2 election -- and that disqualified the documentary under Academy rules. "Fahrenheit" was eligible in other categories, and Moore unsuccessfully campaigned for a best picture nomination.
I was aware of this, but then the article goes on to say:
Byproducts from the massive operation resulted in a dung pile measuring 100 feet long, 30 feet high and 50 feet wide that began burning about two months ago and continues to smolder despite Herculean attempts to douse it.
Wow, can you believe that? I've called Farenheit a 'pile of crap' (and worse) myself, but it was just a figure of speech. And listen to this:
While city folks might have trouble imagining a dung pile of such proportions, they are common sites in rural states
I was always under the impression that Moore's 'films' were more popular in metropolitan areas.
The Nebraska Department of Environmental Quality has informed Dickinson that his smoldering dung pile violates clean-air laws and is working with him to find the best solution to extinguish it, said agency spokesman Rich Webster.Simply dumping water on the heap is not the answer, Webster said, because of concerns about runoff to any nearby water source.
I'm not sure who this 'Dickinson' guy is, but I have to agree with the NDEQ spokesman - I don't want any Moore runoff in my drinking water. I've got my health to think about.
Finally, another quote from 'Dickinson':
"It's a nuisance, and obviously we are trying to get it resolved," he said. "Everybody's been really patient."
If you ask me, 'Dickinson', Moore's so-called 'documentary' is more than just a nuisance, and we've been more than patient.
UPDATE: Sorry, it looks like I mixed up two different articles. This one and this one. My apologies.
Posted by John from WuzzaDem.com
Posted by: Ace at
09:56 AM
| Comments (3)
Post contains 398 words, total size 3 kb.
— Ace The Controversy Du Jour, brought to you by the Washington Post.
Here's the best of the WaPo whining:
Cheney stood out in a sea of black-coated world leaders because he was wearing an olive drab parka with a fur-trimmed hood. It is embroidered with his name. It reminded one of the way in which children's clothes are inscribed with their names before they are sent away to camp. And indeed, the vice president looked like an awkward boy amid the well-dressed adults.
Is anyone else a bit surprised that it never crossed the minds of the editors at the Post to avoid the use of the phrase "the way in which children's clothes are inscribed with their names before they are sent away to camp"?
You know, when writing about an *Auschwitz* memorial?
My guess? He's wearing an Air Force parka. I strongly suspect that someone in his advance team screwed up, and forgot to pack his nice "solemn" coat. And it's not like there are a lot of people Dick Cheney's size, ready to lend a coat.
Of course, I'm sure the Vice President could've made the WaPo even happier by not showing up at all. Or, better yet, showing up *without* a coat-- and catching pneumonia.
Keep warm, Dick Cheney. Keep warm. . .
Posted by: Ace at
07:47 AM
| Comments (19)
Post contains 243 words, total size 2 kb.
— Ace Just in case any of you were in doubt about just how far to the left Barbara Boxer is, please note that she has been posting some thoughts over at the Daily Kos blog.
You might remember Kos (the man responsible for the site) from such lovely events as the time he called for Kerry and his campaign staffers to be "lined up and shot" and the time he said "Screw 'em" in response to learning of the death of several American contractors in Iraq.
What a U.S. Senator is doing lending credence to that cesspool of hatred is beyond me. Of course, when Democrat Senate employees are arrested at the inauguration for causing a disturbance and congressional Democrats themselves gave tickets away to protesters so that they could disrupt the President's inauguration speech maybe we shouldn't be surprised.
Its pretty clear that the left-wing of the Democrat party has embraced thuggery and vulgar political hackery as a means to an end. Boxer's heart-felt thanks to the wackos at Daily Kos is just another confirmation of this fact.
[Cross-posted at Say Anything]
Posted by: Ace at
07:42 AM
| Comments (11)
Post contains 192 words, total size 2 kb.
— Ace Dear America:
As our good friend the Unpopulist noted below, I was detained last night by a squad of American soldiers and delivered to Guantanamo Bay wearing nothing but an orange jumpsuit, a black bag over my head, and pink bunny slippers.
After a long negotiation between the soldiers and my legal counsel Mr. Clark, I was able to gain access to the internet to type this brief note. Ramsey-- may Allah bless him with milk and honey-- says that, in return for this access, I must submit to french tickling from the barbarians running this hellpit. My dreaded tickling appointment is at noon, after my massage. Infidels!
What little I am allowed to tell you about this place will horrify you. This morning they tried to make us pray facing north. Me and my fellow prisoners could easily tell from our cabana where the sun was rising-- right behind the shuffleboard court to our east. Blasphemers!
This prison is run like the worst Ba'athist dungeon imaginable. We get sporks instead of forks. Our margaritas have no salt. And the only heat in my cell is provided by a VHS tape of the Yule Log, continuously looped. At this point, I don't think that anyone here will get a chance to watch Battlestar Galactica tonight. Zionist pigs!
As the Unpopulist highlighted, the American female interrogators here at Gitmo exhibit the most disturbing behavior. They all dress like the Baroness, and they keep calling each other names like "Helga" and "Olga." They keep touching us suggestively, rubbing their bountiful American bosoms across our backs.
My cellmate Ahmed says the guards have been doing this for months, but they never even ask him for any money. Imagine-- American prostitutes not asking for money! The prisoners think it's a heathen trick, and we're all saving our singles for the inevitable day the guards make us pay the kitty for the pole dancing. Imperialist running dogs!
The worst place in all of Gitmo is the American's specially-outfitted torture chamber. The guards refer to it only as "The Champagne Room." Merciful Allah above, I only spent a brief time there last night, but in that short time I learned that it is a room filled with nothing but traitorous promises and treacherous lies. Plus, I hurt my back on the couch-- it's way too soft to provide adequate spinal support. Shades of the Syrian Assad's "black chair," I tell you. Filthy swine-eating devils!
Ramsey says the United Nations will hear of this villainy, after I help him raise some money for new stationary. I can't quite understand why he doesn't use normal paper-- $10,000 is a rather steep price to pay for blue notecards, even with a butterfly sketch in the corner-- but Ramsey swears that blue is Kofi Annan's favorite color.
I sure hope Ramsey can get me released soon. I don't know how much longer my skin can hold out while using all this Lava soap.
P.S. AVENGE ME!
Posted by: Ace at
07:13 AM
| Comments (4)
Post contains 509 words, total size 3 kb.
— Ace Ted Kennedy calls on the President to begin withdrawing troops from Iraq immediately after the January 30th election.
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The United States should start to withdraw militarily and politically from Iraq and aim to pull out all troops as early as possible next year, Sen. Edward Kennedy said on Thursday.After Sunday's Iraqi elections, Kennedy said President Bush should state he intends to negotiate a timetable with the new Iraqi government to draw down U.S. forces.
At least 12,000 U.S. troops should leave at once, Kennedy said, "to send a stronger signal about our intentions to ease the pervasive sense of occupation."
The President agrees, but will use a different strategy for troop withdrawal. more...
Posted by: Ace at
06:49 AM
| Comments (10)
Post contains 406 words, total size 3 kb.
— Ace The Bush administration has settled on a proposal for how to structure the investment side of the private Social Security accounts he's been advocating.
WASHINGTON - President Bush's advisers have settled on a proposal for structuring the personal accounts they hope to create in Social Security, while on Capitol Hill Senate Democrats were launching an effort to defeat the plan altogether.Under a plan recommended to Bush, the private accounts would resemble many company-sponsored retirement plans, with just a handful of investment options.
By default, workers would be enrolled in a "life cycle" account, in which investments become more conservative as investors age, if they do not choose one of the other options, according to two officials speaking on condition of anonymity.
Sounds reasonable enough to me.
Of course, the Democrats are girding themselves for battle over the plan. more...
Posted by: Ace at
05:42 AM
| Comments (2)
Post contains 387 words, total size 3 kb.
— Ace Fashion people are so weird.
(Fair Warning: Link shows partially exposed ass.)
Posted by: Ace at
05:18 AM
| Comments (1)
Post contains 20 words, total size 1 kb.
— Ace Fashion people are so weird.
(Fair Warning: Link shows partially exposed ass.)
Posted by: Ace at
05:18 AM
| Comments (1)
Post contains 28 words, total size 1 kb.
44 queries taking 0.426 seconds, 151 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.
