I know Ace will be furious that I beat him to this punch, but you can take these choices and bank them. These picks are Kerry will win Virginia good!

BEST PICTURE: Ignore Finding Neverland and Ray. That leaves The Aviator, Sideways and Million Dollar Baby. Sideways is a little picture, so it will get an Oscar for screenplay. The Academy loves to dick with Scorsese (and after Gangs of New York, he deserves it). WINNER - Million Dollar Baby.

BEST ACTRESS: Discard the Hispanic and the two English ladies. Comes down to Warren Beatty's wife versus someone who plays a female boxer-turned-paralyzed person. If she was in Treblinka, she'd have hit the trifecta. WINNER - Hilary Swank.

BEST ACTOR: Tough. Forget Johnny Depp and Leo DiCaprio. That leaves Don Cheadle, Jamie Foxx, and Clint Eastwood, nominated for his first acting Oscar. You can go two ways. Either the two black guys split and Eastwood wins, or Foxx's near perfect turn as Ray Charles makes it a no-brainer. I'm riding on the latter. WINNER - Jamie Foxx.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: A whole lot of "Who?" There may be a sentimental call for the star of

Candyman (Virginia Madsen), but I like Cate Blanchett playing Kate Hepburn. WINNER - Cate Blanchett.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Toughest of the bunch. If Foxx doesn't get it for Best Actor, he's a shoe-in here. But since I have him winning Best Actor, he's out, and it becomes an old guy fest - Morgan Freeman versus Alan Alda. I give the nod to Hawkeye. WINNER: Alan Alda.

DIRECTING: Clint Eastwood. No question.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Throw out Eternal Sunshine (too weird, too early in the year), Vera Drake (British), and The Incredibles (cartoon). Do you go Hotel Rwanda (searing, public-minded) or crumb for a Scorsese flick. I say crumb. WINNER - The Aviator.

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Sideways. For sure.

Posted by: Ace at 08:50 AM | Comments (2)
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Britney Spears demonstrates that, in comparison, Jenna Elfman is a Mensa master.

"We just love Fiji! Hawaii Five-O is our favorite show!"

Spears released a statement earlier this week explaining, "Kevin and I chose a resort location where we were promised absolute privacy and seclusion. Unfortunately, staff members took photographs of us, which we allowed them to take once we were assured they were being taken only for private use in a scrap book they gave us as a souvenir."

Spears continued:

"We were further promised that photographs taken during 'strip Twister' were also to be used solely for staff scrapbooks. Because of these events, my husband also question staff claims that it is a tradition in Fiji for new brides to have sex with the staff, that tipping in Fiji is customarily 200% and that just prior to our honeymoon, all of Fiji had been devastated by the tsunami, necessitating a hundred-fold raise in rates as well as my having sex with the staff again, an act that was purportedly to mollify the anger of the Sea god of Fiji, Kickipoopoo.

Posted by: Ace at 07:15 AM | Comments (6)
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Mr. Minority is on the sad story of Jenna Elfman.

Dharma is on the hunt for the scourge of Hollywood - "body thetans" (this hunt may explain why her most current work is the long-anticipated Randall Batinkoff vehicle Touched).

VH1's The Surreal Life is on the hunt for Dharma.

Posted by: Ace at 05:00 PM | Comments (9)
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Al Franken, claiming he was "set up" makes a fool of himself by refusing to speak with John O'Neill on the Michael Medved show.

Unfortunately, I was milling about and did not witness this, but it was the talk of the day.

It's good to see that Al Franken still has the same terrific sense of humor that kept him from being a cast member on SNL for 20 years.

Posted by: Ace at 02:16 PM | Comments (13)
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Funny photoshop.

Posted by: Ace at 01:10 PM | Comments (8)
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Why this keeps happening I don't know.

I blogged the Hollywood Interrupted panel, and I'll post the relevant quotes tomorrow, once I've cleaned up the errors.

Cool thing-- met Michelle Malkin, got a picture of her holding up an Ace of Spades death-card (the old-school version, not the new and improved Jeff Gannon head version). I'll post that once I figure out how to do so.

Sadly, Jeff Gannon decided not to attend CPAC, so there will be no Jeff Gannon sightings.

Wonkette is all but a no-show... we hear rumors and innuendoes of her "breezing by," but no confirmed sightings. Which, quite frankly, is fine with me.

Zell Miller is speaking tonight, and hopefully challenging people to duels. I may blow it off though-- the Cheney rubber-chicken dinner last night was enough of the official banquet addresses, I think -- and maybe get drunk with RedState.

Wonkette Update: Wonkette notes the divergence in the number of Jeff Gannon mentions in different news venues. She seems to think Fox undercovered this huge story.

I think everyone else overcovered it, personally. But her numbers at least show the tilts.

Posted by: Ace at 01:08 PM | Comments (11)
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I want everyone to realize that this is NOT an FDR/Truman situation. Ace may be ill, but he is not gravely ill and I fully expect him to be back on the job full time on Sunday. And, of course, while I do have everything here at HQ in hand, and I am fully in control, I, along with all Americans, wish Ace a speedy recovery from whatever ails him.

Now, BREAKING HARD!

Vatican confronts shortage of exorcists

"Sure, the pay isn't really competitive, but you get to see the world, dental is included, and your mother sucks . . . in Hellllllllll!"

Posted by: Ace at 11:03 AM | Comments (2)
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THIS IS NOT A TRANSCRIPT. This is as close to the stated remarks as I could come, typing furiously. I missed an awful lot, and I've had to paraphrase in places.

So consider this ALL A PARAPHRASE, not quotes. But the words I wrote down are fairly close to Ann's remarks.

Ann was joined for questions by Matt Drudge. Where I paraphrase a questioner's words, I will preface it by "Q:". Drudge's words will be prefaced by "DRUDGE:" (duh). Everything else is Coulter.

Liberals are so cute when theyÂ’re frightened and trembling...

New DNC leadership has a new slogan: now under new mismanagement. They don't think they need to change their ideas at all. 20-30% of the country supports gay marriage, so they say, “Let’s make that our main issue.”

They whine that they "can't get their message out." (Sarcastic voice) If only they had some sort of support from the mainstream media.... if only they had a crack, a toe-hold... some sympathetic ears in the media....

Oh, I know, letÂ’s go on tour with rock-stars... note, if your last album came out on 8-track, maybe youÂ’re not going to win the young voters....

[Long list of questions asking "was it a good idea or bad idea to force gay marriage on America," etc., concluding with:] Was it a good idea or a bad idea for our candidate to vote against funding our troops while theyÂ’re in battle?

It would have been so easy to change their positions and just admit they were wrong... It just gets better and better.

Barbara Boxer is a great candidate for the Democrats... female *and* learning-disabled.

Human dirigible Ted Kennedy is the new face of them trying to show theyÂ’re middle of the road.

DidnÂ’t he have some trouble sticking to the middle of the road once?

I think IÂ’m less offended by their attacks on Jesus Christ than they are about our attacks on Spongebob.

[She then makes my basic point about L'Affaire Jeff Gannon-- that they're outing a nobody from an obscure web-site while we're outing Raines, Rather, and Jordan.]

Is it just me or has no one ever heard of Talon News?

They got theirs-- they busted a reporter at the mighty and prestigious Talon News.

At least in Republican administration the escort services are being run out of obscure web-sties rather than out of the White House.

The MSM still sets the agenda, despite the great power of Talon News....they set the agenda and we disrupt it.

Roger Ailes seems to have a mole at MSNBC... it seems like theyÂ’re trying to get off the air.

If Chris Matthews ever interviews Tucker Carlson and Ron Reagan Jr. simultaneous, MSNBC will just spontaneously go off the air.

Brit Hume gets a lousy million viewers and liberals think itÂ’s fascism in America.
They are beign silenced, but only by the convenience of my remote control.

Since theyÂ’re always acting like theyÂ’re being oppressed, I say letÂ’s do it, letÂ’s oppress them.

Get the professors advocating treason in your colleges... define, attack, and destroy. They accuse us of oppression even when weÂ’re not doing anything, letÂ’s do it, letÂ’s oppress them.

LetÂ’s burn their books when they burn our conservative newspapers... that way we can oppress them and increase global warming at the same time.

Let’s say that “Traitors’ are the one things professors can’t be... I realize I’ve just suggested firing the entire Harvard faculty.

Ward Churchill, having faked an ethnic credit to get a cushy job, he should have just laid low.

Let's say his claim to be an Indian is tenuous at best... I haven't seen a claim of Indian heritage this weak since Jane Fonda married Ted Turner.

IÂ’ve seen more accurate epictions of the indian heritage by watching reruns of F-troop.

Al Franken, the angriest man who ever claimed to be a humorist, finally said something funny in the past year, but he stole it from Bill Hicks.

LetÂ’s step up this fight. These institutions can be shaken. Look at Dan Rather. One down, two to go.

CBS is planning a tribute to Dan Rather... the memo went out a month ago but everyone assumed it was a fake.

Ronald Reagan was way ahead of his time predicting weÂ’d bring the Soviet Union down...it was much tougher to bring Dan Rather down. Liberals lied in wait for a long time to get Alger Hisss.

We waited 35 years to get Dan Rather. Sleep well, Richard Nixon.

[She then quotes from the Godfather... something like, "If you have patience, you can bring down anyone, no matter how mighty."]

Liberals are all whining about the alleged sexual torure at Guantanamo... How about we force the trrrorists to watch Will & Grace?

TheyÂ’ve been whining about McCarthyism for so long I say we give it to them.

TheyÂ’ve had intellectual terror on the campuses for years.... we have rabid savages trying to kill us. Anyone who quibbles about that or equivocates is unnacceptable.

ItÂ’s time for a New McCarthyism.
more...

Posted by: Ace at 10:12 AM | Comments (12)
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The flu that came and did not leave. Ugggh.

Remember that CPAC is being ably gang-blogged here.

I'm going to the Hollywood Interrupted panel... which is about what you'd think. The moderator just announced he'd defend to his death Michael Moore's right to make ludicrously dishonest films that so anger the American people they turn out in droves to vote for Republicans. Funny.

Back soon. Then I'll tell you about Cheney, though there's not much to tell, to be honest.

Posted by: Ace at 08:57 AM | Comments (3)
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looked bad - David Edelstein confirms

Constantine, directed by MTV auteur Francis Lawrence from a screenplay (based on the Hellblazer comics) by Kevin Brodbin and Frank A. Cappello, is borderline incoherent, theologically unsatisfying, and short to the point of dwarfism on suspense.

Posted by: Ace at 08:38 AM | Comments (5)
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