Ray Midge (on f'n' fire, you'll have noticed) offers the following:

I think Ace's semi-mea culpa here is right on point. But I think a lot of people around here could be (should be?) saying the same thing. And it's our OWN damn fault.

For too long, we've made a false god of a man. We've placed all our hopes and dreams on a man's shoulders, then when he cannot bear the load, we all come here to pretend he never meant anything to us.

But seriously, how could one man have lived up to all we've made GANNON out to be? He was a great man, but a man nonetheless. Sure, how many of us had even heard of a "briefing-room" or a "prez-a-dent" before Gannon. I'll admit it: For me, they were just vague buzzwords smart people used on tv. Gannon made them real for me.

I think a lot of people around here are now feeling something Shelley captured:

"I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said--"Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert . . . . Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Gannon, King of Kings,
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away."

Now, of course Gannon never had that opinion of himself. It was us projecting onto him. So, you'll please excuse us. If it now seems we're making fun of Gannon, we're really only making fun of ourselves. We laugh here, but only to stop the tears.

I think we can all agree with those sentiments.

Meanwhile, I've changed the banner as a tribute to our fallen god Jeff Gannon. Thanks again to the most excellent Slublog for his terrific work of devotion.

Clarifying Jeff Gannon's Use of a Pseudonym: Bob, who should know, says emphatically what I said to See-Dubya in the comments:

Some here seem to have a nut on because Gannon used a nom de plume. Just to make it clear, he used his real name in all dealings with the White House and the daily press pass. He used his real name in applying for a permanent pass (which BTW is handled by the Senate Press Gallery...anyone wondering who leaked his real name?) People who dealt with Jeff in a business way knew his real name...Talon News did, GOPUSA did, hell, I did.

Jeff used a psuedo for one reason, he didn't want to use his real name, Guckert (use your imagination).

Jerry Riviera (Geraldo Rivera) and Larry Ziegler (Larry King) also use a nom as do many others.

So shoot him.

I would not advise anyone to actually shoot Jeff Gannon. That's just likely to anger him, kind of like shooting a small-caliber round into a Kodiak bear's pelt.

You ever see a pissed off Kodiak bear? Trust me, you don't want to. They're 800 pounds of claws and teeth and (sometimes) engorged sex organs. It's not anything you should be fooling with, unless, of course, you have a yen to be mauled/raped by a berserking bear.

Posted by: Ace at 11:03 AM | Comments (6)
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First, I have to say this, because a couple of people emailed and some mentioned it in the comments--

I'm not really making fun of Jeff Gannon, and I don't think anyone here is really, either.

Jeff got himself WH credentials and a paying gig with a media group. That's pretty good. I'm envious.

But let's face it-- he's not Dan Rather or Eason Jordan. And that's what's being made fun of here-- that the leftosphere is acting as if they've taken down some high muckety-muck on the right, like Brit Hume or, I don't know, Laurie Dhue.

Jeff Gannon seems like a cool cat who just had the misfortune of pissing off some unhinged internet smear merchants (and for once I don't use that term ironically).

What I'm making fun of is the grossly disproportionate glee of the left finally getting a "scalp" -- a scalp belonging to, no offense, a rather obscure and newish reporter working for a virtually-unknown on-line media company.

And then dancing around with that scalp as if they've pretty much tied the scoreboard, cancelling out Rather and Jordan.

It's just freaking pathetic. And that's what's being made fun of-- not Jeff Gannon himself. Just the idiocy of doing these victory-dances and gang-high-fives over revealing personal information about a relative (sorry) nobody.

I think most here endorse the following sentiment:

(click for more bumper stickers)

Okay, now the disclosure-- and some will suggest this disclosure has something to do with the above. It doesn't. From my very first post on this, I apologized to Jeff Gannon, explaining what I explained above. That I wasn't making fun of him per se, but in the left's ludicrous elevation of him into some major trophy.

So, here's the disclosure: I just found out tonight that the ad you see at the left -- the one for TalkRight? -- well, that's Jeff Gannon's employer. He's also on TalkRight radio.

I guess that's the kind of thing you have to disclose, right? So there you go: it's been disclosed.

I didn't even know of the TalkRight/Jeff Gannon connection until an email informed me about it at around 10pm tonight.

I guess I'm "compromised" on this issue because TalkRight advertises here.

Well, the hell with that. I would have taken this ball and run with it no matter who advertised here. Ray Midge isn't getting any money from TalkRight, and he sure seems to have had fun with his GRIM (Gannonite Resistance Irredentist Movement) postings.

Anyway. Boring post. But wanted to clear those two things up.

An Admission of a Genuine Conflict-of-Interest: I don't feel like getting my ass kicked by Jeff Gannon when I see him at CPAC.

Getting my ass kicked-- especially where people can see it-- is not an approved part of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle (TM).

Posted by: Ace at 10:27 PM | Comments (50)
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D A V O S, SWITZERLAND -- Eason Jordan, a Chief News Executive at CNN, raised eyebrows and hackles during a panel discussion in which he suggested that bloggers "deliberately target" members of the mainstream media.

"I know of at least twelve journalists who have been targeted by bloggers," Mr. Eason is reported to have claimed. "And I know several journalists who say they've been tortured. They've had all sorts of mean things said about them, and let me tell you, that isn't anyone's idea of fun."

Asked precisely which journalists have been "targeted" by bloggers, Mr. Jordan seemed to backpedal, explaining, "I'm not saying this is necessarily part of blogger policy, coming down from the high command of Instapundit and Powerline and Hugh Hewitt. But there are definitely some bloggers -- individual bloggers, to be sure -- who are targeting journalists."

If Mr. Jordan thought that would end the matter, he soon found himself to be mistaken. Further acts of "torture" at the hands of bloggers quickly ensued, with entire pages dedicated to criticizing Mr. Jordan's remarks.

"It was inhuman," said a high-ranking CNN producer. "It makes Abu Ghraib look like the Bear Jamboree at Disneyland."

Contacted for comment, CNN issued a terse response: "Mr. Jordan was simply attempting to draw a distinction between those journalists deliberately and intentionally targeted by bloggers, and those journalists who were merely embarassed and exposed as fools merely as part of the 'collateral damage' of correcting their myriad errors and fabrications. He certainly did not intended to claim that any bloggers are just making sport of journalists, nor that bloggers believe that journalists are generally incompetent, arrogant daddy-hired-me's, nor even that they would be easily replaced by a cadre of coked-up chimps equipped with Blackberries and fedoras."

Reaction from the blogosphere has been unrelenting-- and unstinting. "Of course we're 'targeting' them, for crying out loud," commented anonymous blogger Ace of Spades. "I mean-- duh. They're, you know, a bunch of half-smart dickheads who cruised through private-but-not-elite colleges earning cushy communication degrees and got their jobs on family connections alone. And now think they're masters of the universe. To borrow a chestnut they're fond of-- they were born on third base, but they think they hit a triple."

Eason Jordan resigned from CNN tonight, saying he hoped to avoid further "tarnishing" CNN's reputation by his presence there.

He says he plans to spend "more time with his family." He also says he's considering co-authoring a book with former NYT Editor-in-Chief Howell Raines and departing CBS News achorman Dan Rather. The book is tentatively titled, Bloggers: Why Do They Hate Us?, and will explore the "root causes" of the blogosphere's disatisfaction with, and rage against, the Western media.

"Hopefully, our book will be a sensitive exploration of the differences that separate bloggers and the legtimate professional media," Mr. Jordan said. "We intend to explore these issues with the characteristic objectivity we're famous for. Our take is that bloggers don't like us because they're all stupid and jealous right-wing mouth-breathers and troglodytic wack-a-doos, but that's just a working premise at this point. We're open to other theories, like that they're simply all mid-functional retards."

Helen Thomas could not be reached for comment, as Friday night is "Canasta 'n Chain-Smokin' Night."

Posted by: Ace at 07:33 PM | Comments (12)
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The supervising medical technician got suspicious when the penis began shooting out confetti and spring-loaded snakes (you know, like in fake peanut-brittle... awwww, if I have to explain, I guess the joke sucks).

In related news, the Daily Kos has been unable thusfar to link this to the Jeff Gannon Tragedy.

Although I'm told to expect further bad news on that score.

Posted by: Ace at 06:01 PM | Comments (3)
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Previously the blogosphere and alternative media generally have pushed stories into the MSM-- and only then did some sort of action/attention result.

But the media has all but completely embargoed this story-- until now, as Eason Jordan steps down.

No mainstream media involvement. No pushing a story into the papers.

Not even any help from Drudge.

We cut out the middlemen this time and went straight from pushing a story ourselves to actual resolution.

That's something.

Jeff Gannon, wherever he might be right now -- hopefully looking down on us all, doing upside-down funnel-chugs with Jim Morrison, Albert Einstein, and Golda Meir -- must be pleased.

Photoshop Update: Fat Kid's gang-blog has now added a bunch of cool new Gannonite photoshops.

And Atomic Amish sends the below photoshop. (Language warning.)
more...

Posted by: Ace at 03:31 PM | Comments (16)
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Full Drudge Siren:

Breaking AP report:

CNN chief news executive Eason Jordan quit Friday amidst a furor over remarks he made in Switzerland last month about journalists killed by the U.S. military in Iraq.

Jordan said he was quitting to avoid CNN being "unfairly tarnished" by the controversy.

During a panel discussion at the World Economic Forum last month, Jordan said he believed that several journalists who were killed by coalition forces in Iraq had been targeted.

Ramesh Ponnuru at NRO's Corner got the tip first.

Say what you want-- but a dozen Eason Jordans can never equal one Jeff Gannon.

Thanks for the huge decigannon tip (a "decigannon" tip is equal to one tenth the importance of a Jeff Gannon tip) to JimW, who just made my whole freakin' day.

A Plea to the Main Stream Media:

Sirs,

I realize now that has all spun wildly out of control.

It was fun to "get" Dan Rather. It's fun to "get" Eason Jordan.

But until Jeff Gannon fell -- a man who saved my life in Vietnam, and, in a way, saved all of our lives just by the simple grace of his existence -- I didn't realize how hurtful and small-minded all of this was.

Sirs-- my Media Overlords -- I implore you, let us end this savagery and madness before another good man goes down.

And yes: speaking as high-ranking member of the Digital Brownshirts, I am authorized to suggest a trade.

You get to keep Dan Rather and Eason Jordan. We will never speak of their incompetence and/or hatred of America again.

Just give us Jeff Gannon back. Do us this one act of merciful charity and we can go back to the way it used to be, where you pretended to report the news and we pretended to believe you.

Please. Please, give us back our Jeff Gannon.

I will do anything to make this deal happen. Anything. Anderson Cooper, I'm looking right at you. I think you understand the wide parameters of the word "anything."

An. Y. Thing. Wink, wink.

Sincerely,

Ace of Spades
Obersturmfuehrer in the Digital Brownshirt Army

Either you get Jeff Gannon back or
I am out of here, forever.

But baby-- I'm workin' on it!

Posted by: Ace at 02:43 PM | Comments (31)
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He met with Muamar Gaddaffi during Gaddaffi's terrorist years. Seeking "diplomatic support."

Declared an honorary priest by the Raelians-- you know, the cloning people.

Thanks to JimW, NickS, and NRO's the Corner.

Posted by: Ace at 12:48 PM | Comments (7)
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What would we do without the UN?:

Widespread allegations of sexual exploitation and abuse of Congolese women, boys and girls have been made against U.N. personnel who were sent to help and protect them — despite a so-called zero tolerance policy touted by the United Nations toward such behavior.

The range of sexual abuse includes reported rapes of young Congolese girls by U.N. troops; an Internet pedophile ring run from Congo by Didier Bourguet, a senior U.N. official from France; a colonel from South Africa accused of molesting his teenage male translators; and estimates of hundreds of underage girls having babies fathered by U.N. soldiers who have been able to simply leave their children and their crimes behind.

Ravaged by decades of civil war, and one of the poorest countries in the world, Congo has relied on the United Nations for both military protection and humanitarian aid.

"The U.N. is there for their protection, so when the protectors become violators, this is particularly egregious," said Anneke Van Woudenberg, a senior researcher with Human Rights Watch who investigated the allegations on behalf of her organization. "This is particularly bad."

William Swing, a former U.S. ambassador to Congo who now heads the U.N. peacekeeping mission there, admitted the sexual crimes were a black mark on the United Nations.

"It pains us all," he said. "It's absolutely odious. And we're determined to wipe it out."

But Swing said the problem was just recently brought to his attention, and that only a small percentage of the 11,000 U.N. personnel in Congo were involved.

"A few people have managed to basically cause disgrace for the mission and for the U.N., and that's why we're determined to conquer it. I have sent a dozen home," Swing said. But human rights investigators have reported a far wider, even systemic problem, recording more than 150 allegations against U.N. employees in Congo.

And there is what human rights investigators have called "survival sex."

Thanks to ScottJ.

I'll tell you one thing-- we wouldn't be having these sorts of problems if Jeff Gannon had been elected President in 1948.

Posted by: Ace at 11:22 AM | Comments (11)
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Great Christian Science Monitor article linked by John Hood at NRO's Corner.

An Islamic scholar is challenging Al Qaeda detainees to quote the Koran to justify their murderous ways. When they fail, some of them crack:

Some freed militants were so transformed that they led the army to hidden weapons caches and offered the Yemeni security services advice on tackling Islamic militancy. A spectacular success came in 2002 when Abu Ali al Harithi, Al Qaeda's top commander in Yemen, was assassinated by a US air-strike following a tip-off from one of Hitar's reformed militants.

Thanks to NickS.

Some good news, finally. And I needed it. What, this being the day after Black Thursday and all.

Successes against terrorism don't make up for the loss of Jeff Gannon, but perhaps enough successes will begin to dull the pain.

Posted by: Ace at 09:43 AM | Comments (9)
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I'm sorry for the late start. But I, like many of you I'm sure, have been busy picking up the broken pieces of my shattered life.

Will I find the strength to blog on, knowing that Jeff Gannon is no longer in the White House press room? Only time will tell, my friends. Time, and a lot of Val-U-Rite discount vodka.

It reminds me of something Jeff Gannon once said to me. I said, "Jeff Gannon, sometimes my life has been in terrible disarray, and I've gone walking on the beach, and I've seen only one set of footprints. And yet you said you'd always be there for me. So where were you, Jeff Gannon?"

"That wasn't me," Jeff Gannon told me. "I think you're thinking of Jesus. Or, rather, you're thinking of the inspirational plaque about Jesus hanging directly behind you, on the wall of your office."

"Don't give me your Jeff Gannon double-talk," I said. "So you said you'd be there for me, and yet, only one set of footprints. What's up with that, Jeff Gannon? Why did you abandon me in my time of need, especially because I was on the beach, and I know how much you like to get a good tan?"

Jeff Gannon sighed with exasperation. He began reading off something hanging on my wall. I didn't bother to look at what it was, because I was too busy staring intently at him, like a mental patient. "The reason there was only one set of footprints," he said with some annoyance, "is that I was carrying you during that time."

"Oooh, SNAP!" I exclaimed. "You can turn invisible 'n shit, Jeff Gannon?!"

He hanged his head with weariness. "Yeah. I can do that, sure. I can turn 'invisible 'n shit.'"

"Day-yamn!" I said, and then began doodling a devotional portrait of Jeff Gannon, with a caption reading "JEFF GANNON-- GREATEST GUY WHO EVER LIVED AND MY BESTEST BUDDY -- HE TURNS INVISIBLE AND CARRIES PEOPLE AROUND ON THE BEACH."

So, that's what I'll remember about Jeff Gannon.

How about you?

Update: Someone calling himself Jeff Gannon -- most likely as an homage, as in "I am Spartacus!" "No, I am Spartacus!" etc. -- writes in some inspirational words:

Ace...sometime, when the team is up against it -- and the breaks are beating the boys -- tell them to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gannon.

I don't know where I'll be then, Ace, but if you do that--and I have some classy lighting, body oil, and tented briefs--I'll be happy.

Ray Midge Counsels "Courage":

People... PEOPLE!

Now is not the time for reflection or maudlin sentiments! Do you think if Gannon was still here, he'd be all blubberin like this?

We don't have the time. We need a plan. We need orgainization!

First of all, STAY OFF THE INTERSTATES! Those are going be parking lots as word gets out and the cities evacuate. You'll be sitting ducks out there.

We'll need a rendezvous point, somewhere in the hills. Somewhere near caves and a steady supply of fresh water....

Strong words. Strong, well-nigh incomprehensible words.

The Photoshopping Begins: Fat Kid is obviously inconsolable over this tragedy.

The Comments Are Hi-Larious: Make sure you read them. Ray Midge is providing frequent updates on the Gannonite resistance. The Warden explains that we'll be able to survive, although it might involve some unnatural acts in bus station men's rooms.

Which, quite frankly, sounds like a win-win scenario to me.

Hope is not yet lost.

WOLVERINES!

Posted by: Ace at 08:55 AM | Comments (70)
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