Here's a shot of Michelle Malkin holding up my death-card business card. Kinda cool. At least it made my day.

She was sick, and told me she didn't want to give me her germs. I told her proudly that I had stronger germs.

Posted by: Ace at 03:54 PM | Comments (29)
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...but it never occurred to me I'd be out all day.

A friend from Spain wanted me to check out an apartment he's thinking about subletting. Trouble is, it's way out in the boonies. Forgot the trains are running on a weekend schedule today. Also didn't count on the guy showing me the apartment to not be around for an hour-- and hour I had to spend wasting time in bodegas, comparing the carb content of cheddar Combos to Spicy Pizza Combos.

All done now... will try to make up for lack of the day's posting by being especially insightful and/or funny and/or juvenile.

Or, more likely, I'll just throw up a lot of crap and hope some people confuse quantity with quality.

Then again, the day's almost wasted anyway, isn't it?

What's on TV tonight?

Say... I'm trying to upload pics for both my friend and for this site from CPAC, but all the pics are way too memory-intensive (over 1.3 MB). Is there some way to reduce the quality and such of the pics? Is there some compression feature I'm supposed to be using?

Nevermind: Figured it out. Thanks to all who offered advice.

Posted by: Ace at 03:00 PM | Comments (19)
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Blew his brains out.

Posted by: Ace at 09:16 PM | Comments (41)
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Well, I probably won't -- they'll be lucky to go 8-8 and I sort of enjoy having testes -- but I've been inspired by the example of this clearly dedicated rugby fan:

Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday's match he told fellow drinkers at a social club, "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off," the paper said.

Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking.

But after the game Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 yards back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.

Next time, dude, considering ponying up the eight bucks for a nice big foam finger. A foam finger says "We're Number One."

Self-severed testicles just say "Mama didn't hug me enough."

Mike sent the tip, along with his own funny take on it... which, believe it or not, is just too graphic even for this site.

Posted by: Ace at 08:41 PM | Comments (23)
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We all know now that our Fearless Leader, Jeff Gannon, may have done some shady things in the past. (Amish kept insisting that Gannon's innocent explanations were shaky, which I argued with him about... for one of the few times, I suspended my rule that "all rumors are probably true" and wound up looking foolish for it.)

But you tell me what's worse-- maybe at one time having been a gay escort, or dressing up your little dog like this?:

According to Wonkette, who was even more missing-in-action at CPAC than I was, that's Joshua Micah Mellancamp Boutros-Boutros Marshall's dog.

So, since we've started down this road--

How do liberal politicians justify talking with and tipping off a "journalist" who dresses his dog up like a gay French sailor?

Aren't they concerned about the obvious security risks?

Posted by: Ace at 05:42 PM | Comments (23)
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As the academic left insists that Ward Churchill has an absolute right to justify the murders of 2800 innocent civilians, they're simultaneously attempting to get Larry Summers fired as President of Harvard for making some un-PC remarks about the reasons for the lack of many women in high-level science and math positions.

Bill from InDC reports they're also misrepresenting what he said.

Posted by: Ace at 05:36 PM | Comments (22)
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Uggghh. Travel is exhausting. Actually, it's not so much the travel as the ludicrous amount of drinking I feel obligated to do when travelling.

It's great to be back.

I blogged during the day a bit, but couldn't blog at night, because my luxurious zero-star hotel featured no internet access.

Well, they claimed they did. But I just couldn't connect. I spent six hours or so over the four days talking to the AOL people (yes, I know, AOHell, I just signed up so I could use their dial-up while I was away) and yet no one had a clue how to get the stupid computer to connect.

Thanks to Hoke for filling in for me while I was at CPAC. It was great to finally meet Hoke, and to meet some of the other bloggers I've known through their sites or emails. I wish I could have met more people.

Highlights: Meeting Michelle Malkin (very briefly). Meeting the cool folks behind TalkRight, one of this site's sponsors. Briefly speaking to Grover Norquist. Getting John Fund to tip me on the story he was working on. Going to my first ever rubber-chicken political banquet (I watched Chris Cox and Dick Cheney speak, then skipped the eight and a half hour meal in favor of drinking).

Lowlights: No Jeff Gannon sightings. Unable to snap a pic of Ann Coulter. Not going out with Karol and Julian Sanchez the night that Ann Coulter and Matt Drudge walked right into the bar they were at and sat down behind them. Having a lingering-flu relapse and compounding it with hangovers every day.

At any rate, I guess I'm somewhat refreshed and ready to start doing real blogging again-- real, pajama-wearing, sitting-in-bed-making-up-dumb-crap blogging again. Not this strange going-to-work-to-blog sort of thing.

Posted by: Ace at 05:27 PM | Comments (5)
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I've received word from the transporter room that Captain Ace is aboard, and after a standard clearance from sick bay, he should have the con shortly. It's been swell, but I'm back to Engineering.

Posted by: Ace at 01:52 PM | Comments (4)
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New Tapes Say Bush May Have Smoked Marijuana.

"I wouldn't answer the marijuana question. You know why? Because I don't want some little kid doing what I tried."

The tapes allowed further insight into the machinations of the president as he mapped his route to power.

"I like Condi, I do, but that gap-toothed look. I mean, sometimes, it's like when someone has a zit that is ready to pop, and you can't stop lookin'. You know what I mean?"

"You know, they say Jeb's the smart one, and all I have to say is when we were in high school, to get into my club . . . we just made this club up for Jeb, well, to see if he try to get in. We made him eat seven sticks of butter. And he did it. How smart is that?"

"Look, I'm not answering the Linda Lavin questions either. Old news. History. And I for one am not gonna' be the president who answers 'yes' to the question 'Did you snort coke off of the belly of Mel's waitress?' No sir."

Posted by: Ace at 01:04 PM | Comments (4)
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During the six-month period that ended Tuesday, 3,896 prank calls to Chicago's 911 emergency center were placed from a pair of phone numbers at a single West Side address

Now we know the Jerky Boys moved to the Windy City.

Posted by: Ace at 12:55 PM | Comments (1)
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