AllahPundit made this.

And sent it to me. What a nice feller, huh? Weird that the freak won't even have a beer with me, but, whatever. Keep the cool photoshops and audiofiles coming.

Anyway... the following does not constitute copyright infringement, as it is a parody making fair use of previously-recorded material, and furthermore the previously-recorded material it samples is now debased to the point of unlistenability, and does not therefore compete with the original for sales.

That out of the way...

...and hoping Pixy will forgive me for uploading a large file before getting his explicit okay...

I proudly present, produced by AllahPundit, Lionel Ritchie's Hello, with additional guest vocals by Pat O'Brien. (Big file: 3.74MB.)

Content Warning, once again!

It may not be quite safe for work, but it's funny enough to gamble your future employment on.

Posted by: Ace at 10:20 PM | Comments (33)
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I might have spent my formative years studying the basic physics that would allow me to comprehend this article. Instead, I spent that time learning how to craft "your mother's a whore" jokes.

Kids: seriously. Study up. Or else this bullshit is your future.

Anyway, one scientist says that what we term black holes are just stars that have converted to "dark energy":

Black holes are staples of science fiction and many think astronomers have observed them indirectly. But according to a physicist at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California, these awesome breaches in space-time do not and indeed cannot exist.

Over the past few years, observations of the motions of galaxies have shown that some 70% the Universe seems to be composed of a strange 'dark energy' that is driving the Universe's accelerating expansion.

George Chapline thinks that the collapse of the massive stars, which was long believed to generate black holes, actually leads to the formation of stars that contain dark energy. "It's a near certainty that black holes don't exist," he claims.

...

[A]s long ago as 1975 quantum physicists argued that strange things do happen at an event horizon: matter governed by quantum laws becomes hypersensitive to slight disturbances. "The result was quickly forgotten," says Chapline, "because it didn't agree with the prediction of general relativity. But actually, it was absolutely correct."

This strange behaviour, he says, is the signature of a 'quantum phase transition' of space-time. Chapline argues that a star doesn't simply collapse to form a black hole; instead, the space-time inside it becomes filled with dark energy and this has some intriguing gravitational effects.

This is certainly all very intriguing and exciting even if I have no idea what the hell is going on.

Like the first time I had sex. Or, to be honest, the last time I had sex, too.

There's another thing I could have spent my younger years getting good at.

Posted by: Ace at 09:53 PM | Comments (27)
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"Darkon," which seems to be a documentary about SCA-types-- guys and gals who get together in homemade armor and bop each eachother with padded "swords."

Bbeck almost just passed out from the excitement.

Sadly enough, it's not as dorky as one might hope-- these guys seem in a little better shape than I'd've guessed. And they're certainly exercising more than I do.

Still, kinda funny... especially when the "Kings" deliver great speeches about oppression and freedom, with Hyundais and soccer-goals plainly visible in background. But ratchet expectations down-- this isn't any "LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!" screamer.

Via Dave from Garfield Ridge.

Update: Bbeck says this isn't anything like the SCA, which she, um, implies is much, err, "cooler." SCA is sort of a real athletic contest, with winners and losers and everything, whereas this is just a bunch of guys running around in their mothers' bath-towels.

Or something. I didn't really bother to read her long explanation, because midway through I realized I still would like to get laid again at some point in my future.

And I just didn't think knowing the difference between LARPing and SCAing would help that cause.

Posted by: Ace at 08:11 PM | Comments (34)
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Prince Charles' candid comments about the press are picked up by microphones.

Posted by: Ace at 03:38 PM | Comments (17)
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...but only to the misdemeanor of "mishandling" classified documents.

Thanks to See-Dub for the tip.

Flashback Funny: Mystical Artifacts Removed From Top-Secret Government Warehouse; Sandy Berger Claims "Mishandling" of Ark of the Covenant "Entirely Inadvertent"

Man, I'm funny. I'm so funny sometimes people don't realize how fuckin' funny I am, and I have to keep re-posting the shit they were too stupid to know was funny until they finally get it through their stupid retard-brains and say, "Hey, you know what? That was some kind of fuckin' funny shit there, feller."

Posted by: Ace at 02:12 PM | Comments (17)
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She calls 9-1-1 because they won't get her order right, and are "mopping up" and ignoring her.

She tells the 9-1-1 dispatcher: "You're supposed to be protecting me."

Is this a real call or a prank? I don't know. It actually sounds real.

It's funny either way.

Thanks to George Gaskell.

Again-- I'm sorry for all the light-hearted stuff. It just worked out that way.

Posted by: Ace at 01:44 PM | Comments (16)
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According to a Goldman Sachs report (this article also lifted from Drudge).

What the hell is there to say about this, except-- gulp?

This would be bad. This would send us into Carter-like recession. Maybe worse.

Phil Flynn, senior market analyst at Alaron.com, said $105 oil is technically possible but not likely for at least 3 years and only if a major supply disruption, such as a halt to imports from Saudi Arabia, occurred.

'The timing of the report was conducive to the rally,' Flynn said. 'It's just another reason to be long. There's no doubt we're in a new bull market for crude oil.' Hear audio interview.

John Kilduff, energy risk analyst Fimat USA, agreed that the $105 price assumes a major supply disruption in Saudi Arabia or a Venezuelan embargo on shipments to the U.S.

'I don't know how they get to that number, short of a significant supply disruption event occurring,' he said.

'It's more reflective, to be fair, of the psychology of the energy market right now that there's going to be tremendous demand growth in the late third and the fourth quarter of this year. That's going to put the producers of crude oil in an extremely challenging position in terms of meeting that demand, and that's what is being priced in right now.'

Posted by: Ace at 01:25 PM | Comments (19)
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I have little to add, except space for commenting and prayers.

I have to say-- I'm sorry, it looks like I really picked the wrong day to be completely flip and humorous.

Posted by: Ace at 01:16 PM | Comments (34)
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Go ahead; it's about time.

Let's be honest: I don't like any of you, and you don't like each other. Which I can understand, because you're a bunch of dribbling imbeciles, a pack of wild retards fighting with one another over who can best manage to stay within the lines while colorin'.

You can have your stupid moron-talk in this thread. It seems wrong to have you simpering fuckweasels jackassing around in a thread that is partly devoted to the death of Terri Schiavo.

So have at it, cretins. I wash my hands of the lot of you.

Thread Ended. Flame War Suspended. Until you guys annoy me again.

Posted by: Ace at 12:21 PM | Comments (259)
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Alarming News notes, mostly correctly, that lately it seems it's only the right debating much of anything at all.

There are strong disagreements between libertarians and actual conservatives, traditionalists and so-called South Park Republicans.

We hash these disagreements out. We more often than not remain in disagreement, as is usually the case in any disagreement.

It's not necessarily unhealthy.

In fact, it's rather the whole point of democracy.

A Not-So-Rosy-Perspective Update: Goodness me! What a shock! The New York Times publishes a major Republican in an op-ed... slamming the Republican Party and the Christian right!

Gee, that doesn't ever happen eight days a week.

Sarcasm aside, however, John Danforth is a fairly solid conservative, and when he hits the panic button on Religious Right influence in the GOP, that may be a sign that the GOP's social conservative base may be overreaching -- with possibly disasterous results for the next cycles of elections.

Even if it's not so dire, this piece will be quoted ad nauseam by the liberal media to convince the remaining moderates in the country that the GOP is just plain scary.

Thanks to KCTrio for the head's up.

Posted by: Ace at 10:57 AM | Comments (22)
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