(Available on-line only through subscription.

Also, this is completely self-promoting. You may wish to skip this and listen to more Beatallica.)

The WSJ notes that "pool reports" -- formerly circulated only among reporters, but now widely disseminated among bloggers and other interested politics-watchers -- are now fodder for bloggers.

After citing a pool report in which a newstwit reports, a bit snarily, that Barbara Bush (the young one) was observed wearing tight jeans was accompanied by Ban Bartlett and Karl Rove, "who were not wearing tight jeans."

Shock of all shocks, the WSJ then reports the scary-important musings of Wonkette (or at least her ghost-writer intern) on the subject: "Well, thank God for Karl and Dan's comfortable pant choice!"

Proving, once again, why Wonkettte/her intern are simply the most indispensible on-line critics in the world today.

After the jump, the article discusses Dana Milbank's famously snide pool report in which he sarcastically refers to President Bush as "our hero" and the like. It notes the NRO story "The Real Dana Milbank?," making the rather fish-in-the-barrel case that he's a dyed-in-the-red-wool liberal, and then notes further:

The dispatch got posted on various conservative blogs, and even today is sometimes seized upon as evidence of what they consider Milbank's liberal bias.

"Milbank repeatedly calls Bush 'our' protagonist and 'our hero' -- which might be seen as cute and playful coming from a Republican or moderate, but which are definitely insulting coming from a rabidly partisan Bush-hater like [him]," fumed the Ace of Spades HQ blog in October.

Emphasis enthusiastically added. Oh, sure, I wish I'd written a sentence that was a bit more grammatically sound, but still, a mention's a mention.

I guess I missed Ms. Cox at CPAC, but we seem to have at least stumbled into the same article.

Not only do I get to show my my mom that I got a little ink from the WSJ, but I am hopeful that the media is beginning to recognize that the blogosphere consists of more than the Daily Kos, MyDD, Wonkette and (when it feels it necessary to lower itself to mention supporters of the war) Instapundit and Powerline.

Thanks to Crank Neocon for giving my mom a smile.

Meanwhile... A dopey college-student wannabe journalist thinks that blogs are the most terrible challenge this country has ever faced:

...how can a person browsing a blog be sure what has been exposed is "the truth?"

It seems as though the sick, sad world of blogging has twisted the minds of many Americans. People are relying on other, regular, everyday Americans to report to them what is going on in the world according to the blogger - leaving the people who were trained for years on the principles of journalism in the dust.

Let's be honest: this little moron is 100% right.

You're all sad and sick and blogs have twisted your easily-manipulated minds. Normal people just don't get all excited by videos of a fat-guy in a kilt throwing ping-pong balls while yelling "LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!"

More excerpts, more analysis, and the actual link to this silly little fart of an opinion piece at link cited above.

And thanks to Matthew for providing me with the on-line link to the article.

Posted by: Ace at 09:36 AM | Comments (11)
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I have mixed feelings about citing this report. On the one hand, it's useful to help shut up hair-pulling liberals.

On the other, it's not true. Or at least I hope it's not true. If we're not torturing some folks -- and if we don't have a secret, wink-wink policy about torturing the right sort of cat -- then something very wrong is going on.

Posted by: Ace at 08:31 AM | Comments (8)
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Free Republic usually only posts excerpts, but here they've published the whole damn article (which otherwise requires annoying registration).

Buckhead, of course, wrote that first post questioning the fonts and proportional spacing in Dan's Dodgy Documents.

Oddly enough, the Atlanta-Journal Constitution seems to give the conservatives the last word in an article for once. (Is it a conservative tilting rag? I don't know. I assume it's not.) After noting that some people (ahem, liberals, ahem) like Ken Auletta still claim Dan Rather was some sort of journalistic Green Lantern, Buckhead & Co. get in last licks:

But none of that mattered to the partygoers, including former Fulton County GOP Chairman Jack Winter and Fulton County Superior Court Judge Michael Johnson — who munched hors d'oeuvres on napkins and paper plates decorated like the American flag.

"Congratulations, fella," Winter told MacDougald as he entered the party.

MacDougald sees himself and other bloggers as part of band of citizen journalists who have upset the order of corporate media giants.

"The information oligarchy that TV had, that's gone," MacDougald said. "They'll never be as powerful as network anchors once were."

As Rather signed off, the crowed filed out — MacDougald with them.

Said MacDougald, "The wicked witch is dead."

Again, Buckhead is called a blogger, which he's technically not.

At some point we'll have to think of the right term for Buckhead and other non-blogging contributors to forums and blogs. Not technically bloggers, but part of the same army and same movement, obviously. I'm always straining my way around this currently-uncoined-word myself.

Plus... Iowahawk pens his last Dan Rather, Investigator mystery:

strode past the security desk, but Fremont grabbed my arm, roughly. "Sorry Mister Rather, authorized personnel only."

"What the... what's going on here?" I yelled. I felt the goon's stubby fingers clamping down through my trenchcoat. "Here's my badge, you filthy ape -- now you call up Moonves and straighten this out!"

He yanked on the badge, snapping from its lanyard. "Sorry Mister Rather, I have to take this. Direct orders from Captain Moonves himself."

I didn't have time to think. I instinctively reached inside my garbadine lapel with my free hand and wrestled Black Nellie, my trusty Sony FV-100 micophone, free of her shoulder holster. She was a cheap 300 ohm model, but Nellie was deadly in close-range interviews -- like an early encounter I had with the Nixon gang (Dan Rather #1: The Phantom CReEPs). My right thumb switched her safety off, but before I could wheel around Fremont tackled me to the floor. He stomped my hand with his boot heel and kicked Nellie skittering across the lobby marble.

And... Trey Jackson has video of this gasbag saying goodbye-- finally.

But I like the original script for last night's farewell better, somehow obtained by "Rick":

[stage direction] Pan Camera One to close up as I remove my glasses.
Gripping my yet to be verified Bush documents in one hand I shake them at the world.

[teleprompter script]
Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us
revenge is a dish that is best served cold?
It is very cold in space.
To the last, I will grapple with thee.
From hell's heart, I stab at thee.
For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

[stage direction] Camera One fade to black

Classy. That's the way I'd go out.

Posted by: Ace at 10:46 PM | Comments (28)
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If you're like me, you like the Beatles.

But you also like Metallica.

Trouble is, you can't listen to both at once.

Or... can you?

All Along the Blogtower (scan down to "Fusion or Confusion") gives blog-exposure to the bestest (and weirdest) fusion novelty cover band since Dred Zeppelin, "Beatallica."

I kind of like "Sgt. Hetfield's Motorbreath Pub Band." And "Leper Madonna" is good too.

And then there's"Sandman:" A mix between "Taxman" and "Enter Sandman." And "We Can Hit the Lightz." And "For Horsemen"(a mix of "Four Horsemen" and "For No One").

I'm not lying to you-- you really can't hit any button on this page and go badly wrong.

And the thing is-- it really does sound like both the Beatles and Metallica. It's all of the wholesome melodies of Lennon-McCartney but with the growl of James Hetfield's vocals.

Oh Dear... It just gets better and better. Gotta To Get You Trapped Under Ice.

They offer "radio edits" of most of their songs (many of which contain profanity).

Umm, now, I think this is pretty cool ish and everything, but do they really have to worry about radio edits at this point? Seems to be getting a little ahead of things, there.

And, Scrolling Down... Some covers of Archie Comix books that Senator Stevens might want to regulate.

Who the hell ever read Archie, by the way? Archie was one step below Mary Worth and Dondi, for crying out loud. How did this book stay in circulation for 50 odd years?

It's either a mob front or a tax dodge. I simply refuse to believe that anyone ever paid money to see what sort of hijinks ol' Jughead would pull this week.

The guy's big signature personality trait was wearing a stupid frigging paper crown that any retard could pick up with a Burger King kid's meal.

Hey, even I had a better schtick than that in high school.

Ultimate Geek Synthesis Update: It all comes together.

All Along the Blogtower informs me that the lyrics to "The Thing That Should Not Let It Be" are as follows:

When I find myself in times of trouble

Hybrid children come to me
Pray for father roaming—roaming free

And in my hour of darkness
It is standing right in front of me
He is the thing that should not let it be
Let it be, let it be
Hybrid children watch the sea
He is the thing that should not let it be

Crawling chaos underground people
Living in the world agree
The wretch is fearless with insanity
And though he has been sleeping
There is still a chance that he will see
That this thing should not let it be

Not dead which eternal lie
With stranger eons death may die
These are words of wisdom—let it be

I wake up to the sound of Metallica
Let the metal come to me
Death to the one that will not let it be.

Let it be, let it be
Hybrid Children watch the sea.

That's right, flapjack. It's a song sung by (or sometimes to) Cthulhu, He Who Lies Dead But Dreaming in the Sunken City of R'yleh.

"Hybrid children" are the Deep Ones, Cthulhu's half-fish half-man progeny (hence calling himself "father"), "watch the sea" just refers to the ocean from which Cthulhu is destined to rise, "the crawling chaos" is a nickname given to another Lovecraft god (Yog-Sothoth?), and this lyric...

Not dead which eternal lie

Stranger aeons death may die

these are words of wisdom

Let it be

is just a garbled version of Lovecraft's oft-uttered

That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.

So these guys were sitting around, thinking, "You know, we're a Metallica-Beatles fusion cover band. What can we do to make this any dorkier? Oh, I've got it: we'll write a song about frigging Cthulhu."

Well played, Beatallica. Very well played. You obviously have some... skills.

Corrections: "The Crawling Chaos" is Nylarthoptep (sp?), not Yog-Sothoth, as pointed out by Kerry. Did it ever occur to you guys that I occasionally deliberately blow these super-geek details in order to maintain plausible deniability about my exact level of familiarity with dork culture?

So, Kerry: Now who's the nerd?

Furthermore, Stukow points out that Beatillca didn't write a Cthulhu song; it's actually just based, partly, on a Metallica song called "The Thing That Should Not Be," which is, yes, about Cthulhu. I should have guessed that.

But that does mean that Cthulhu just got 10% less dorkier. No longer do you have to admit you first heard of him when paging through your old copy of Dieties and Demigods. Now you can proudly say, "Oh, Cthulhu? Right, I know all about that. I heard about him in this kick-ass Metallica song. You got a problem with that, pencil-neck?"

Posted by: Ace at 08:09 PM | Comments (29)
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This is precisely the dispute I had with Jeff Goldstein of Protein Wisdom. It's all well and good to speak of the importance of tenure to protect professor's right to engage in open and fearless questioning, but f--- tenure if only one side's rights are protected.

Kevin McCulloch reports:

[Dr. Phil Mitchell of CU] was decorated in 1998 as "Teacher of the Year". Yet according to Mitchell his teaching "is not up to standard", and he has been too outspoken about his "Christian views" in this state-run University.

And now he's being fired.

And click on that link NOW; McCulloch began an interview with him at 3:20. Hopefully he's still on.

More... from the Wardrobe Door.

My God-- this man actually quoted Thomas Sowell in a seminar about affirmative action. Obviously, this constitutes a firing offense, whereas Churchills' direct and unambiguous instructions for effective terrorism is just brave academic speech which we must tolerate at all costs, lest we go the way of the Third Reich.

Posted by: Ace at 11:49 AM | Comments (27)
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Huge rally of pro-Syria demonstrators in Beirut; Lebanon's Lawmakers "Virtually Guaranteed" to Allow Former Pro-Syria PM to Form Government

Opinion8 opinionates on the story, expressing some doubt as to it.

I don't know... this was never going to procede cleanly, or without any false starts or reversals.

Posted by: Ace at 10:55 AM | Comments (3)
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Okay, now Israel is really pissing me off.

The IDF (Israeli Army) routinely discriminates against recruits who admit they... play Dungeons and Dragons.

Army frowns on Dungeons and Dragons

IDF says players are detached from reality and automatically given a low security clearance

By Hanan Greenberg

Does the Israel Defense Forces believe incoming recruits and soldiers who play Dungeons and Dragons are unfit for elite units? Ynetnews has learned that 18-year-olds who tell recruiters they play the popular fantasy game are automatically given low security clearance.

“They're detached from reality and suscepitble to influence,” the army says.

How dare they. Does this look like "detached from reality" to you?

Don't you see how the ogre crumbles from the power of my lightning bolt?

And as far as "susceptible to influence" -- well, that's why I wear a Talisman of Free Will. Duh.

.... now the army has confirmed that it has a negative image of teens who play the game and labels them as problematic in regard to their draft status.

This seems like a counter-productive policy to me. In the past, those who wished to evade the draft had to feign a back injury or, pace Jamie Farr, wear a dress.

Now they just need to roll four six-sided dice and then go to the local smithy to buy barding for their warhorse.

So if you like fantasy games, go see the military psychologist.

Positively Stalinist. Isn't this why we fought Communism for fifty years?

I'm pretty sure it was one of the reasons, at least. Didn't Reagan mention Tunnels and Trolls in his Evil Empire speech?

...

Game enthusiasts are aware of their problematic image in the army and prefer to maintain their anonymity. Many of them are from the former Soviet Union where the game is very popular.

Who knew? But don't take much solace in that; remember that awful Russian band "Autograf" at LiveAid? They were popular in the USSR, too.

... "It's not a game of winners and losers," Matan says,
"but rather entry into another world with stories and plot changes."

Ummm.... let's be honest. Let's just say it's not a game of winners and leave it at that.

The army is not indifferent to the unique hobby and is trying to locate soldiers who in their free time dress up as witches and play in forests.

Oh, well, then: that's different. Witches are Chaotic Evil and ought not be trusted.

...

"One of the tests we do, either by asking soldiers directly or through information provided us, is to ask whether they take part in the game," he says. "If a soldier answers in the affirmative, he is sent to a professional for an evaluation, usually a psychologist."

...

Matan says he has personally met soldiers whose military career was harmed due to their connection to the game. Most soldiers who play Dungeons and Dragons simply do not admit to it while they are in teh army, he says.

I think that's the wisest course of action for pretty much anyone, whether in the army or not.

Hell, 75% of the reason I keep my anonymity is my fear that my "checkered past" -- and let's face it, this is slightly more embarassing than having possibly been a gay escort -- will be used against me.

"Many people who play served in the most classified units," David says. "They are intelligent and any attempt to label them as 'weird' is incorrect and unfair."

Ehhhhh... again, let's not quibble over semantics.

Bloggers, we cannot let this misguided policy stand. It reminds me of the famous admonition:

When they came for the Star Trek conventioneers, I said nothing, because I never bothered to pick up even a coversational-level of Klingon.

And when they came for the model railroad enthusiasts, still I kept silent, because I just never felt like dealing with all that glue and cotton-swabs.

And when they came for the massively-multiplayer on-line role-playing gamers, I yet held my tongue, because it's difficult to remain IC ("in character") when you're dealing with horny fourteen-year-old boys who keep asking you "where the whorehouse is" and "Doth thee know of any fair maidens who wisheth to cyber?"

And then when they came for me, no one said anything, because there were no geeks, nerds, dorkwads or gaywads left to cry out.

Or, as the great Justice Louis Brandeis said in the landmark privacy case U.S. Versus Asmodeous, Baalzebul, Jubilex, et al., "What a man chooses to do in the privacy of his own home with graph paper and miniature mind-flayers is no one's business but his own."

Thanks, I think, to "Blackjack" at The Hole Card. I think it was he who tipped me, at least; the email seemed to have been sent before it was finished.

Or maybe the IDF intercepted it. Hard to know.

Where is Cedarford when you most need him?

Posted by: Ace at 10:16 AM | Comments (80)
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Not sure how female sexuality became so intimately connected with progress and freedom, but, okay, not complaining or anything:

In a city that only a few years ago was almost monochromatic — full of women draped head to toe in black — women and girls this winter are sporting pink coats, pink sweaters, pink head scarves, shoes and bags.

Iran's Islamic rulers appear to have given up trying to make women observe more than the letter of the hijab, the Koran's admonition that Muslim women outside their homes should cover everything but their faces, hands and feet. The change has been gradual, but this year coats have gotten shorter, brighter and tighter, heels higher and scarves have slipped farther back to reveal most of women's hair.

Iran's “pink revolution” is a silent fashion statement that sends a powerful message. Unable to act overtly against the rigid Islamism that has shaped Iranian political and cultural life since the U.S.-backed shah was overthrown in 1979, many Iranians express their contempt for the government through their clothing.

...

“The more you look at the people in the streets, they don't look like Iranians any more,” says Goli Emami, a translator of English books into the Iranian language Farsi.

Of more than 50 Iranians interviewed here during a two-week visit, most were contemptuous of their government and the direction the country is moving. “This life is like death,” says Mohammed Mohammedi, 26, a jeans-clad English teacher in Tehran who works odd jobs to make ends meet.

They're risking public beatings to wear short skirts in Tehran, but I can't even convince women to wear the "Ace of Spades High School" cheerleader outfit I keep in my closet.

I feel sexy wearing it. Why shouldn't they? I mean, honestly.

Thanks to LauraW.

Posted by: Ace at 08:54 AM | Comments (23)
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And while you're at TKS, the next post down is his take on the what must be the lamest f'n' scoop in history: the news that Al Gore will not seek, and will not accept, his party's nomination for President in 2008.

His take is my take: giggles.

Here's another scoop for Chris Matthews: I, Ace of Spades, seek to dampen the groundswell of enthusiasm for a Draft-Ace movement in 2008, and I also decline to serve as this country's president.

What. A. Pathetic. Joke.

Al Gore has about as much frigging chance of being president as Al Goldstein. At least Goldstein's porn-show (Midnight Blue, I think) and magazine (the subtly-named Screw) give him some sort of a viable platform from which to speak to the public.

Gore, meanwhile, has his only some sort of nickle-and-dime mutant hybrid of CNN and MTV... which is going to get lower ratings than any of the shows on Telemundo that don't feature busty Latinas in low-cut sequin dresses. (There must be one or two such shows, I imagine.)

I don't want to say that Gore's political career is dead, but it just went off on an Oscar-bait crying jag, confessing to its heinous crimes while being comforted by Susan Sarandon in a nun's habit.

Sigh. Now, I've been searching for months for a wav of the old Howard Stern musical stinger that goes You -- stupid -- diii-iiick!

This is one of the many times I wish I could link it.

If anyone has this: please send it my way. I really need it. There are a lot of stupid dicks out there who have great need of a musical introduction proclaiming that fact.

Posted by: Ace at 04:23 PM | Comments (11)
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As you probably know, Turkey has long been a strong opponent of the federal model of a free Iraq, because they feared an autonomous (or semi-) Kurd sector would spark demands by its internal Kurdish population to secede and join Iraq, or else simply increase terrorism designed to achieve that end.

Or cause some other form of trouble. Who the hell knows. I sure don't.

Turkey seems to be growing more comfortable with the new Iraq:

Kurdish Iraqi leader Jalal Talabani, the strongest candidate for Iraq's presidency, said Ankara has by now changed its policy on Iraq and is supporting a federative system, reported private CNN-TÜRK yesterday.

“Our Turkish brothers openly said they support federalism,” CNN-TÜRK quoted Talabani, leader of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan (PUK), as saying while speaking on Kürtsat television. Talabani's remarks were referring to a meeting with Osman Korutürk, Turkey's special envoy to Iraq at the end of last month.

Following his meeting with Talabani in northern Iraq, Korutürk had said it was up to the Iraqis to decide whether or not there would be a federative system in the new era in Iraq. “What Turkey prioritizes is Iraq remaining whole,” he said.

Welcome to the party, pal!, Geraghty enthuses. And there's more at the link.

Posted by: Ace at 04:20 PM | Comments (4)
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