Goldstein provides a better link to listen to the show. Today, at 3 Eastern Time. It looks like I may be on first. At least, I'm mentioned first.

He's also soliciting questions in his comments. So, if there's something you want to ask me, ask it on that thread, not here.

Jeff has specifically informed me "I don't read your stupid site, so don't worry about me asking about inside jokes."

On-air chemistry. Like Martin & Lewis.

After their strangely homoerotic break-up, at least.

CALL... toll free at 1-866-884-8255 (866-884-TALK).

I guess this solicitation means that no one's calling in. The phoneboard is not exactly lighting up like a Christmas tree.

Fine by me. I do my best work in small circles of cherished friends. Like, three or four of them. More than that, and I get my pussyboy panic attacks.

Posted by: Ace at 10:00 AM | Comments (135)
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Well, it's not really blogger jargon. No one says this stuff. But a lot of it is stuff there should be a word for. I guess.

I have to admit I'm guilty of several of the negative ones.

Let me add my own jargon: "slinking," or "shit-linking," which is the act of quoting someone (like, say, the Daily Kos or Oliver Willis) and fairly attributing it to them, but while deliberately refusing to provide an actual link.

The second definition is more expansive. You slink or shit-link someone when you DO provide a link, but you've stolen so much of their original post that there's really absolutely no reason to click on it and give the author the traffic he was looking for.

I've done that, though I try not to. And I've had it done to me; what's the point of providing a link to Ace of Spades when you just republished a top ten I wrote in its f'n' entirety?

Thanks to the Fat Kid, who I'm not actually slinking, because I don't think he wrote a post about this. He just tipped me.

But I will link "pooponastick's" musings about the anniversary of the liberation of Iraq.

Oh, and... Blind-linking -- like Instapundit does with his "Heh" single-word links -- is "blinking."

All of a sudden I'm Rich Frigging Hall. I'll have more of these Sniglets to bore you with later.

Sniglets-- they're so hi-larious that Rich Hall got three years of Letterman appearances out of them, and a one-year stint on SNL.

You know what we should call the little plastic things that keep the ends of your shoelaces from fraying? We should call them "those little plastic things at the end of your shoelaces." I think that's really a perfectly adequate term.

Unless you're in the business of making those things, in which case I guess you would need a word.

This is one of my many posts that really should have concluded about fourteen sentences ago.

Posted by: Ace at 09:46 AM | Comments (14)
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Three -- three! -- new all-gay, all-the-time cable networks plan to launch.

Three new TV networks catering to gay and lesbian viewers are trying to establish themselves and all say they support one another - at least publicly.

Competition breeds interest and shows doubters the business is viable, said Frank Olsen, president of the Q Television Network. He once applied the same theory when he owned four gay and lesbian bars near each other in Seattle.

"I think there's room for all three of us," said Olsen, whose network is the underdog of the trio.

You know, I don't mean to stereotype (umm, okay, I do), but does anyone else have the suspicion these channels won't, in fact, "support" each other?

Anyone think that within a week they'll be running ads like "The Q Channel thinks she's Little Miss Thing, but she ain'"?

Besdies, there are already gay channels on the dial. They're called NBC and CBS and Bravo and Trio and HGTV and BBC-America and HBO and Showtime and Cinemax and... well, pretty much every frickin' channel except the Speed Channel and that home-shopping channel where they try to sell you sets of "100 limited-edition tactical folders" and autographed pictures of Cal Ripken Jr. exiting a men's room. (He's voided his bowels at least once a day for 15,678 straight days... hence his well-earned nickname, "The Iron Man.")

Every time I sit down to watch TV anymore I feel like I'm taking part in a psychological test to see how I respond to homoerotic stimuli. So far, so good; I'm passing... although I have to admit that "Constantine" on American Idol is, in fact, "smoldering."

Can't sing a lick, of course. But smolders like a young Ricky Schroeder on Silver Spoons.

Did I ask to learn what "pitchy" means, or what they mean on What Not To Wear when they say "cut on the bias"? No, I did not. And yet my mind is now all poluted and perverted with this highly-suspect information.

Thanks -- I guess -- to NickS.

Posted by: Ace at 08:39 AM | Comments (38)
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Some Columbian painter/idiot depicts the horrors of Abu Ghraib, using his trademark "chubby people" as those being abused.

I don't know. These guys look like they could spend a couple of days on a restricted-food "torture" session. They're in Cuba, they're not getting all the food they might want to eat... think of it like a spa.

Meanwhile...

On the topic of incitement -- artists can't claim they can both "change the world" and that their works are completely harmless when it is suggested they might inspire violence.

Sort of a contradiction, no?

AndrewF tips:

Eric Rudolph [the abortion clinic/Atlanta Olympics bomber] goes on and on in this article that he's not part of the Christian Identity movement, etc etc etc.

Note, however, what he says in the very first paragraph of this NYT article:

Declaring himself "bloodied but emphatically unbowed," Eric Robert Rudolph on Wednesday issued his first public explanation for a series of abortion clinic bombings and an attack at the 1996 Olympics.

Where have we heard this before? It's from William E. Henley's poem "Invictus".

And who else was obsessed with this poem?

I see this as a nod and a wink to his buddies and fellow travellers. He's trying to hold himself out to be some noble anti-abortion person, which would get him at least some sympathy from folks who agree with him but abhor his methods, but the reality is, he is a racist, paranoid anti-government freakshow.

Of course, the NYT doesn't remember or know about any of this. Such a strange, lyrical statement, but nobody thought to lexis-nexis it?

This is like a NYT dream-- this shows, possibly, a thread that connects conspirators, in their souls if not in actual knowledge.

And yet the NYT's famous multiple fact-checking and attention to the small details seems to have come up empty on it, yes-yes?

By the way, I'm not slagging the poem "Invictus" or anything, and neither is Andrew.

But if a fairly anondyne poem making the standard Heavy Metal point about "no retreat, no surrender" can inspire men to kill, I should think that t-shirts and shooting-targets actively and overtly inciting the assassination of a President just might, too.

Posted by: Ace at 07:39 AM | Comments (15)
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The resolution was almost derailed when someone attempted to add a "Puppies are really adorable" amendment:

The 191-member U.N. General Assembly on Wednesday unanimously approved a treaty outlawing the use of nuclear weapons by terrorists and their supporters.

The Convention for the Suppression of Acts of Nuclear Terrorism is the first anti-terrorism treaty to be adopted since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on the United States. It is the 13th anti-terrorism treaty and builds on recent efforts by the U.N. Security Council to compel states to strengthen their laws and policies to combat terrorist groups.

The treaty, which governments will begin signing at the General Assembly session in September, criminalizes the possession or use of radioactive material or a nuclear device "to cause death or serious bodily injury." It also makes it a crime to use a nuclear device to damage property or the environment or to attack a nuclear facility.

...

An agreement on language was struck after members of the 57-nation Organization of the Islamic Conference were assured that the treaty would not be used to impose a generic definition of terrorism. Defining terrorism has been an intensely controversial issue at the United Nations, where Islamic governments have argued that anti-Israel national liberation movements that have targeted civilians should not be considered terrorists.

Yes... we all have our priorities.

And yet there remain a few cranky doubters:

Nuclear arms proliferation experts generally welcomed the General Assembly's actions as an indication of its recognition of the threat but voiced skepticism over the treaty's capacity to halt the spread of nuclear weapons.

"It's a good thing" that they are making a concerted effort to grapple with the threat of nuclear terrorism, said Charles D. Ferguson II, an expert on terrorism at the Council on Foreign Relations. "But the bottom line is, it's not going to stop it."

Shut up, really?!

In related news, the UN is "seriously considering" passing a "strongly worded" resolution against "death, disease, and dismemberment, as well as any other nasty stuff that totally can buzz-kill your weekend."

Thanks to Bill, who keeps his eye on the UN, as well as other important world organizations, such as the 98 Degrees Fan Club.

Posted by: Ace at 07:15 AM | Comments (11)
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...so a couple of enterprising demented exhibitionists committed environmental activists have decided to get dirty for environmental diversity.

With backgrounds in progressive and green theater and teaching troubled teens, Leona Johansson, 21, and Tommy Hol Ellingsen, 28, wanted to do more than just protest the state of the world -- they wanted to make a difference. To them, eco-porn is the obvious choice.

"Porn makes really, really a lot of money," Tommy continues in his soft Norwegian accent, "so why not use that money for good?" Easy enough, right? But, so far, the pair's biggest challenge has been giving the money away.

...

Welcome to F--forforest.com (FFF), a porn site with a difference.

Along with raw, explicit images and videos with scenes like the one described above, FFF is well stocked with facts about the world's forests.

I'm not a prude. Lord knows, I'm not the easiest person to offend.

But I am annoyed at the cliched and cretinous impulses of lefty artists. Whenever these guys go dry as regards actual creative ideas, they immediately play the bullwhip-up-the-squeakhole card.

Is this even "outrageous" anymore? Seriously. If I tell you that Karen Finley has a one-woman show where she blanks her own blank, is your reaction, "Oh dear, I'm completely outraged" or is it "My stars! She's really pushing the envelope, as well as pushing society's hottest buttons about taboos!" or is it "Didn't this stupid bitch do this same crap like five years ago? Do performance artitsts do re-runs, too?"

Posted by: Ace at 06:59 AM | Comments (19)
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Boycott over. I would have preferred to see a more fulsome apology, but close enough. They corrected and they explained.

Actually... I think I'm going to have to insist on an actual apology.

Posted by: Ace at 06:46 AM | Comments (24)
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Michael "Showoff" Totten now goes into Beirut's Hezbollah district and photoblogs the crazies.

Buildings are sandbagged. Surveillance and security watchtowers are erected in front of restaurants and stores. A Lebanese-American historian based in West Beirut told me that Hezbollah is better armed and more militarily powerful than the Lebanese army. East and West Beirut are as free-wheeling as Hong Kong, but Hezbollahland is a virtually sovereign fascist police state. It is so near to downtown I can walk to it. Now that I've been there and know how close by it is, I can almost feel its breath on my neck.

If this grandstanding bastard gets a genuine media gig out of this, there is no justice.

As the brilliant Steven Glass said, it's not just the serious reporters who win Pulitzers. It's the guys who provide "color" and "humor," and frankly just make shit up out of whole cloth, who win Pulitzers too.

But they destroyed him, didn't they? They just couldn't stand to see their so-called "accurate reportage" model challenged by the innovation of "totally bullcrap made-up silly shit."

Damn them.

Are you mad at me, Chuck? Chuck?

I think Chuck wants to kill me.

(PS, if you haven't seen Shattered Glass yet, see it! It's really a very fun movie.)

Posted by: Ace at 06:34 AM | Comments (18)
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Yeahp, ordering is just about done on the second and last t-shirt printing.

For those of you who worried the shirts would look like crap (as, um, I actually sorta did), it seems they're pretty cool. Now, it really doesn't matter to me if you buy them or not -- I was hoping for like, get this, 500 shirts sold, which is sort of worth it, but as it is, I'm only going to be selling 70 or 80 or so so it really doesn't matter money-wise whether you buy or not.

But, if you're kinda interested but are waiting for a review, here are some testimonials from my paid shills valued readers:

THIS GUY'S GOT A FUCKING SHIRT!!!!

Finally came just now in the mail.

Really quality. Very nice. The red on the back isn't too vibrant, so the quote looks, dare I say, cool?

Mach, very mach. (macho)

and

btw, the shirt rawks.

-- Hobgoblin

Woo hoo!

I got my shirt today too and I ordered on the second round.

I must say that it looks a lot sharper than I thought it would. I really like it.

The only hassle is (and this may be my fault) I got black when I thought I ordered gray. Oh well, my receipt is on my office computer and I'm home now so I'll check into that tomorrow.

Overall, I'm pleased.

Nice job Ace.

-- PotatoHeadBobby (remember, with a name like "Potato Head Bobby," the retard probably just screwed up the order; he likely thought he was selecting Day-Glo Orange, anyhow-- retards love them neon colors)

If anyone wants to send along a pic, I'd like to see 'em. Seems my shirts haven't come yet, damnit...

and...

I'll be on TalkRight today, with Jeff Goldstein and Bill something or other, from 3-4 Eastern Time. Sometime during that period. Probably for like three minutes before my severe panic attacks begin and I'm carted off to the hospital, a gibbering insensate lunatic.

Train wreck. I'm tellin' ya. Train wreck. I don't even know what the hell we're going to be talking about.

They told me to bring a character sheet, as we'd just be doing the world's first webcast of a live rightwing Dungeons & Dragons session, but I suspect they are just pulling my leg.

And that kinda sucks, because I just rolled up a kick-ass character with two 18's and one 17, and I swear, I really just rolled him up on the first try with no do-overs or mulligans. If this turns out to be some big goof, I'm going to go all Mazes & Monsters on these vicious bastards.*

* Yeah, it's an old joke of mine. So what? At least I'm not relinking anything.

Posted by: Ace at 10:00 PM | Comments (30)
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It's time for prosecutions and jail time.

Republicans are pussies about this because they know the press will destroy them for "chilling" the free-speech rights of those who would incite murder. But this is out of hand.

There are some things you have to go to jail for, even in a liberal democracy, if liberal democracy is going to survive.

These ever-growing cowardly chants of "Kill, Kill, Kill" have to be stopped before someone gets dead.

Posted by: Ace at 09:45 PM | Comments (28)
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