Chickpea reminded me of this hysterical site, in which a very bitter adult judges children's art in objective terms, and decides that, of course, it's all pretty sucky.

This is by Lisa, aged 6:

The review:

Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit. [Grade:] F

The guy gives out an awful lot of "F's." All frankly well deserved.

Kids can't draw. Let's encourage them to do things they're actually good at, like working in low-paying textile sweatshops. Those little dextrous fingers can really produce some tight stitching, once they've been properly incentivized (i.e., beaten and denied water for days on end).

Updated.... Found! Perhaps the second or third funniest thing ever on Conan O'Brien was David Sedaris' over-the-top bitchy review of an elementary school Christmas pageant. With Frank Rich like derisiveness, he slammed the lead actress, let's say the seven-year-old Charlotte playing Mary, for failing to have enough stage presence to actually convince him she was a virgin.

Hubris found it. There's no direct URL, but go here, to This American Life, then search for the episode "A Very Special Sedaris Christmas," episode 87, 12/19/97. It's at the top left under "2002 shows" in the main archive (rebroadcast), Hubris says, and I believe him.

Direct Link Found: Hubris Utron now supplies the direct link. There's a seven minute intro, he says, which is worth listening to, but the thing I'm talking about follows that.

Posted by: Ace at 07:10 AM | Comments (16)
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On the Trump's slamming of the current Freedom Tower design for the new and not-improved WTC:

Trump says that he wants to build "a taller, stronger, more beautiful version of the Twin Towers." He also says, more memorably, that the Freedom Tower is "the worst pile of crap architecture I've ever seen in my life." Given that Trump is an authority on crap, his assessment carries weight, but more importantly his view of the Freedom Tower is widely shared.

I'm not really a Donald Trump fan -- I like the Apprentice, but find him a bit hard to take, and his casinos are of course in atrociously bad taste, and not even in good, fun atrociously bad taste -- but the man has the right idea.

Posted by: Ace at 07:01 AM | Comments (4)
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Read the whole thing.

Not just because what he says is eminently sensible, but because it's always important to remember there are a lot of Muslims on the right side in this fight -- both actual and ideological -- as well.

Posted by: Ace at 06:56 AM | Comments (5)
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RCL, who is amazing at remembering and finding these compare and contrast quotes, uncorks another great one.

Howard Dean thinks Tom DeLay should go directly to jail:

...Dean declared: ''I think DeLay ought to go back to Houston where he can serve his jail sentence down there courtesy of the Texas taxpayers.'' Dean would jail DeLay without trial, without indictment and without accusation of any crime...

But he was far more reticent to declare Osama bin Ladin guilty before being adjudged so by a competent tribunal:

...Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean will not pronounce Osama bin Laden guilty before a trial...

It's easy to make too much of this, so that's why I'm going to do so. Because it's easy.

But in all seriousness, there are many on the left who consider domestic political rivals to be the real, actual enemy, whereas our murderous sworn foreign enemies are a somewhat "fictitious" threat.

Dean is very careful not to offend foreign sensibilities in "pre-judging" the admitted mass-murderer Osama bin Ladin, but that sort of care is nowhere to be found in his pronouncements regarding domestic political opponents.

I don't think this says everything about the left. But I do think it says something. There are silly and trivial people and there are more serious-minded folk.

I may write a stupid moronblog, but I'm always able to keep clear in my mind who the actual enemies are and who the mere domestic annoyances are.

I wish more on the left were capable of making this not-so-fine distinction.

Posted by: Ace at 06:52 AM | Comments (5)
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Please don't tell me this is old. Everything's old on the Internet.

This site?

Old.

Anyway, this is pretty funny. A picture-and-text recap of Star Wars, pretty vulgar, but nothing you don't read here on a daily basis.

Thanks to Monty at Heliopause.

Spoiler Guess...? Brak, not kidding I don't think, wrote

On Star Wars: If anyone has seen it yet, please warn about spoilers if you are going to mention it in the comments

What could be a spoiler? We all know what's going to happen to Anikin and Padme. We know that no harm comes to the Emperor or Obi or the droids, because they're around later.

But I'm thinking... what would actually be a surprise? Lucas likes them, and they seem to have mainly to do with family.

So -- and remember, I haven't seen the film yet -- here's my guess at a surprise, if there is one.

In the first movie, they claimed Anikin had no father, and everyone cringed at the ludicrousness and Christ-echoes.

So what if he reverses himself?

Seems to me that an evil and accomplished Sith could impregnate a woman and then erase her memory of it, right?

Bit of a repeat, I guess, but perhaps Anikin is the Emperor's son. And maybe he wanted to have the child's patriomony kept secret because... well, I guess maybe because Palpatine doesn't want everyone to know that his blood is just pulsing with those stupid midichlorians or whatever. He keeps his force powers secret, right?

And that would, I suppose, would explain how Anikin falls to Evil (Luke was pretty keen on his dad, evil though he was, in ROTJ) and also maybe set up some extra resonance for Vader's killing of Palpatine in ROTJ. Hey-- then he'd've been taking out his own Dad.

Then again -- it would be kind of laughable to try the same trick again, this time lamer to boot.

Posted by: Ace at 01:19 PM | Comments (48)
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It's really good.

I don't see an attribution, but I've got my suspicions.

Anyway:

UNBREAK MY HEART: Two more salvos from Instapundit. Sigh. Look, I like Glenn; by and large, heÂ’s a decent man. But when it comes to his whitewash of BushÂ’s crimes, I just want to wrap him in an Israeli flag and flush his head in a toilet. This countryÂ’s interrogation policy now revolves largely around the application of menses; does Glenn not know? Or does he simply not care? Whatever the answer, itÂ’d be nice if he at least addressed my criticisms instead of lashing out at me.

...

And quite frankly, itÂ’s left me hurt, betrayed, bewildered, confused, and not a little sick in my intestinal tract. IÂ’m missing writing jobs because of this, and itÂ’s wreaking havoc on my bandwidth. Which is why I need a hundred thousand dollars as soon as possible.

By the way, I need a hundred thousand dollars as soon as possible, too. I forgot to mention that.

Thanks to NickS.

Update: Oh, man, it just gets better after the quoted bits, but I can't swipe the whole post.

Or... can I?

No, I can't. I'd sure like to, though.

Posted by: Ace at 12:06 PM | Comments (19)
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Circle the wagons, boys. And make sure to bet super-big on a losing hand.

Posted by: Ace at 11:13 AM | Comments (35)
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Moran was the guy who asked Scott McClellan if he was now the editor in chief of Al-Newsweek, and how he could dare to presume to lecture the magazine that it might want to verify stories that would inflame Muslim passions before running them.

Moran further says the White House has no right to criticize the press. That whole dissent/accountability thingee seems to run in only one direction. After a radio interview with Hugh (which, to be fair, Moran was sort of gutsy to agree to):

...listeners and emailers reacted negatively to the arrogance that seeped from almost every answer Moran gave and to the press corps's hostility to the president and to the idea that the president's spokesman could legitimately call upon--not order, but urge--Newsweek to do more to reverse the damage done by their story. Here's one small bit of Moran's view of the world:

I don't think the media should be immune from criticism. I think the elected leader of the United States has his or her hands full,
and plenty of things for the elected leader of the United States to do. I think media criticism is a great thing. I think what you do is a great thing. I do not think it's a great thing for the president's spokesperson to begin instructing the media how to go about its business.

The White House press corps often calls on the president to comment on--and criticize--everything under the sun, from Enron to the Saudis to the Israelis to you name it. But Moran's demand for immunity from White House cajoling, and the undeniable air of superiority Moran and most White House press types project is damning evidence that the elite media have gone from purveyors of news to Guardians of Truth.

Moran really thinks that the press ought not to be criticized by the president or his spokesmen. In making his demand for a special status above that of every American, Moran at least gave honest voice to the elite media's view of itself: above every citizen, above every elected official, above, well, everything.

...

Old media is acting a lot like old royalty.

It's all worth quoting, but fair use, alas, doesn't permit that. Read the whole thing.

Hewitt also rounds up blogger reaction to all this.

And then make sure you read the full transcript, which is pretty damn compelling. Some of the best bits after the jump, but it's all worth reading. Moran accuses Hewitt of practicing "demogoguery," and seems strangley uninterested (shock!) in Kerry's failure to release his full military records, as he promised.

And those aren't even the best bits.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 10:53 AM | Comments (10)
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Update: Sorry for that outage; it happens, alas.

Thanks for all the donations thus far.

If you've thought about donating before, but didn't, it would be a terrific time to reconsider. Hit the PayPal button in the sidebar (it comes right after the Sully Freak-Out Meter, and then my little bad-res logo for Winning Wizbang's Best of the Top 100 Blogs).

It would definitely help the cause.

And for those of you who have donated, and who keep donating-- thanks. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.

Posted by: Ace at 10:39 AM | Comments (40)
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If you feel like (and I don't think you should), check out Sullivan today.

Shrieking about Instapundit's endorsement of terrible punishments for inarguably terrible acts, citing Josh Marshall on filibusters, whining (for the thousandth time) about "theocons," etc.

When the Left hates you and the Right hates you, it could be that you are just an independent-minded and maverick speaker of truth who will not compromise his integrity or principles to please a particular political tribe.

Or, you know, it could just mean you're a douchebag.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: Ace at 09:31 AM | Comments (9)
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