Aaargh.

Posted by: Ace at 09:39 AM | Comments (2)
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Not really sure how this works, but this plugin takes plaintext and turns it into pirate talk.

It sounds sort of fun... in theory. But then again, so did Joe Millioniare II.

But if your timbers need a shiverin' (and let's face it, whose don't?), then by all means, go ahead.

Thanks to Ultron for the tip.

Maybe... "Talk Like a Paul Anka Pirate" would better suit this site.

Aye, and when I fix meself to a-movin', I slice like a scurvy hammer. The mates get blouses and pantaloons!

Posted by: Ace at 09:13 AM | Comments (34)
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...while commenting at the Daily Kos. What a shock she's a fan.

But before you file this in the same shit different day category, note that the President she accuses of war crimes is (drum roll)... Bill Clinton.

War crimes? Bill Clinton? Crimes of omission (allowing the Rwanda genocide), perhaps. But actual war crimes? The man was pretty much allergic to the use of force, unless, of course, there were big doings in the grand jury investigating his serial perjuries and obstructions of justice.

Gee, I wonder what Maureen Dowd will say about this. After all, Mother Peace has that coveted "absolute moral authority." Well, I don't really wonder. I know she'll ignore it, in favor of making some slapdash comparison of Mary Landrieu and Roy Nagin and Michael Brown to The Mod Squad (in a Hee-Haw level hi-larious column titled "One White, One Black, One Blonde") or something equally trivial.

Of course, thanks to the Times' new pay-for-neigh program, we can't read Maureen Dowd anymore.

The New York Times

No longer giving the people what they don't want.

Thanks to the Blogometer, especially interesting today.

Posted by: Ace at 09:01 AM | Comments (17)
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That's right, the successful and peaceful, democratic elections in Afghanistan!
Apparently, there wasn't a sufficient amount of violence to make the headlines of the self-confessed liberal standard bearer.

Heck, they didn't even have a shortage of ink this time!

But don't worry! The degenerate subhumans at the BBC have a found a negative way to spin the election. The number of voters wasn't as high as their last election. Aw shucks, I guess we might as well let the Taliban take control again.

The reason why the MSM and their constituency, the liberal Democrats, make me so sick is quite simple. Their hatred of Republicans trumps the truth and reality. If President Bush personally discovered a cure for cancer, they would claim he was a homophobe for not curing AIDS first!

You'll have to excuse me now. After visiting the NYT and BBC sites, I have to wash my hands and clean my cache out.

Ace's Update: The purpl'd finger of political dawn.

Posted by: Tanker at 08:55 AM | Comments (9)
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Naked coeds showing their hooters. Is there anything they can't do?

I make no recommendations or endorsements. Just passing on the tip.

Posted by: Ace at 08:30 AM | Comments (24)
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Well, I don't know if we can call you 'winners.' You know what you are when you win the Special Olympics, right?
Right.

At any rate, here are my top three picks from last Friday, in no particular order.

From Sobek:

"I thought that Bush would..."
"You thought! You thought! You thought eight
Things tonight, Nagin!"

Nice Anka tie-in. That just never gets old.

A beaut from Nordicgirl:

No Distance in Waveland

Pumping emotion
Like sewage from Big Daddy
Gay Geraldo smells.

Did you feel that? Yeah baby.

And Uncle Jefe graces us with more refreshing imagery:

MSM Kamikazes

Race-baiting breezes
Blow right back in their faces.
Feel the divine wind.

AWARDS: Each of our warrior-poets is entitled to one FREE low-carb wrap at their local D-Angelo's. Good luck convincing those cheap bastards to own up though. Keep at it.

Honorable mentions:

Snivelling newsies,
Blubbering politicians.
Grow a fucking spine!
-S. Weasel

Leftie analysis
Disturbing in its squalor
Immune to reason
-Geoff

An Ode to Dean Reynolds

Nice flop-sweat, moron
At least you didn't cry like
Fucking Rivera
-Edward R. Murrow

Thanks to all participants.

UPDATE: Extra Special Friend Honorable Mention

A mention? That's it?
Who judged this lousy contest?
Geraldo the wuss?

From Edward R. Murrow, also know as Mr. Sourgrapes McLoserpants.

Posted by: LauraW. at 07:51 AM | Comments (18)
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I've pimped this show (on Showtime) before. It's jumped the shark a little lately, as they've begun debunking hair-care products and baldness cures and the like.

Come on, guys. There's plenty more Bullshit around than that. Like this whole "female orgasm" thing I keep hearing about.

But this take-down of PETA is terrific. It's about half the actual show on PETA, with most of the best parts.

And yes, it's old. It's like from two seasons ago. But if you don't have Showtime, it's new to you.

Posted by: Ace at 06:59 AM | Comments (14)
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Wow:

The head of the U.N. nuclear nonproliferation agency welcomed North Korea's decision to allow inspections, saying he hoped his experts could take the country at its word as soon as possible.

"The earlier we go back, the better," said Mohamed ElBaradei, head of the International Atomic Energy Agency.

According to a joint statement issued at the talks' conclusion, the North "committed to abandoning all nuclear weapons and existing nuclear programs and returning at an early date" to the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty and International Atomic Energy Agency safeguards.

"The six parties unanimously reaffirmed that the goal of the six-party talks is the verifiable denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula in a peaceful manner," the statement said.

Responding to Pyongyang's claims that it needs atomic weapons for defense, North Korea and the United States pledged to respect each other's sovereignty and right to peaceful coexistence, and also to take steps to normalize relations.

Posted by: Ace at 06:38 AM | Comments (22)
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Merkel's party only got three more seats that Schroeder's. No one has a majority, partly because a lot of people voted for the New Left party (supposedly "former" communists) and the big parties just can't include them in any coaltion.

Although I'm pretty sure that Schroeder will find a way to put aside his reservations and join with them anyhow.

Posted by: Ace at 06:15 AM | Comments (8)
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It's long been a truism that cutting pork is an idea that everyone's behind in theory and yet no one's behind in practice. There's just no real constituency for it. Getting a million dollar rest-stop built on a highway with federal funds-- that has a constituency.

It will be interesting to see if blogs can animate and link the inchoate anti-pork silent majority in the country.

People tend only look at the pork their state is getting. But if this "Porkbusters" thing takes off, people can see the pork other states are getting, and may very well decide that it's just better for the economy and their own wallet if their state forgoes its boondoggles in exchange for the other 49 states (and Guam) giving up theirs as well.

Two things blogs do well are 1) exposing information that's freely available to the public but little examined and 2) generating a bit of anger. Coupled together, blogs actually could reduce porkbarrel spending.

Bush and the "conservative Republicans" in Congress obviously aren't going to do that on their own.

Tips Appreciated: If you see some pork, let me know.

Posted by: Ace at 06:03 AM | Comments (33)
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