Yeah, I said it. Whore. A lot of strippers dabble in whoring, and this one seems to be carrying around half the male genetic material in the Durham area in her undies.

So, they raped her for -- what is it now? -- three minutes and either failed to ejaculate or else did so, I don't know, out the window or something.

Maybe the prosecutors should start testing the local squirrels to investigage that possibility.

DNA testing in the Duke lacrosse rape case found genetic material from several males in the accuser's body and her underwear _ but none from any team member, defense attorneys said in court papers Wednesday.

The papers were filed by attorneys for the three lacrosse players charged, Reade Seligmann, Collin Finnerty and David Evans. They complained that the information about DNA from other men was not disclosed in a report prosecutors provided earlier this year to the defense.

The testing was conducted at a private laboratory for the prosecution.

"This is strong evidence of innocence in a case in which the accuser denied engaging in any sexual activity in the days before the alleged assault, told police she last had consensual sexual intercourse a week before the assault, and claimed that her attackers did not use condoms and ejaculated," the defense said.

In an interview, defense attorney Joseph Cheshire said the findings suggest the accuser had sex shortly before the March team party where she was hired to perform as a stripper. The woman has said three lacrosse team members gang-raped her in a bathroom at the party.

District Attorney Mike Nifong did not immediately return a call for comment.

Lock her up. And see what can be done about suing the DA's office, and Nifong personally.

Posted by: Ace at 07:21 AM | Comments (39)
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Interestingly, the judge rejecting the terrorist's new challenge (now made against the Military Tribunal Act) is a Clinton appointee with a history of agreeing with such challenges.

Also... A poster at Dean's World complains that Andrew Sullivan is now ripping off actual ideas (not just links) without attribution.

Although the comparison of the current war to the Thirty Years' War isn't really so arcane as to prove the charge, Sullivan was tipped about it by email.

I've had posts of mine turn up, basically, in professionals' columns. But I didn't see any reason to cry foul, as I had no evidence my post had been read beforehand.

But Sullivan does have a history of doing this.

Posted by: Ace at 07:10 AM | Comments (2)
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Obviously our hopes are with him.

Sen. Tim Johnson (D-S.D.) underwent emergency brain surgery overnight after falling ill at the Capitol and was in critical condition early this morning, introducing a note of uncertainty over control of the Senate just weeks before Democrats are to take over with a one-vote margin.

Johnson, 59, was taken to George Washington University Hospital early yesterday afternoon, shortly after becoming disoriented during a conference call with news reporters. He underwent "a comprehensive evaluation by the stroke team," his office said. Aides later said he had not suffered a stroke or heart attack.

Nursing supervisor Quinn Collins said early today that the senator was out of surgery and in critical condition. Hospital officials and Johnson aides offered no further comment or details; a more complete statement was expected later this morning.

The two-term senator's illness -- which sent Senate Democratic leader Harry M. Reid (Nev.) rushing to the hospital to check on Johnson -- underscored the fragility of Democrats' hold on the next Senate, which they won by the narrowest of margins in the Nov. 7 elections. Should Johnson be unable to complete his term, South Dakota's Republican governor, Michael Rounds, would name a replacement for the next two years.

With Johnson in office, Democrats would hold a 51-to-49 edge in the Senate that convenes Jan. 4 as part of the 110th Congress. (The two independents have said they will caucus with the Democrats.) But if he is to leave office before then and Rounds replaces him with a Republican, the GOP would control the chamber.

In a 50-50 Senate, Vice President Cheney could break tie votes in the GOP's favor. But a Senate that becomes evenly split after it is in session would not necessarily fall to Republicans, Senate historians said. Rules and precedents could leave a party in charge of the chamber even after its membership falls below that of the other party.

"It's what happens in January that counts," said Senate associate historian Donald A. Ritchie, referring to when party leaders hash out rules governing the chamber's organization.

Rounds's office declined to comment on the situation yesterday except for a statement from the governor, which offered prayers for Johnson and hope for "good news for our friend and colleague."

Johnson spokesman Noah Pinegar said the senator "became disoriented" during a late-morning conference call with reporters, placed from the Capitol's Senate recording studio. "He had difficulty completing a response to a question," Pinegar said, so aides ended the call and walked with him back to Hart Senate Office Building.

Democrats will not necessarily yield control, even if Sen. Johnson is unable to sit as a Senator. In addition, a liberal Republican may refuse to allow a change in power:

In order to adopt new rules organizing the Senate, the two parties must reach nearly unanimous agreement. Democrats in 2001 blocked the naming of committee chairmen and members, demanding concessions before agreeing to the rules. Among those concessions: Should the numerical advantage change, all committee assignments and chairmanships would be nullified, and a new organization would have to be submitted.

That's what happened, not because of a death but because disgruntled moderate Republican Sen. James M. Jeffords (Vt.) decided to caucus with the Democrats, giving them a 51-49 edge and the powers of the majority. Senate Republican sources said yesterday that their party is likely to press for similar concessions when negotiating the operating rules for the next Congress. But even if Johnson were incapacitated, Democratic aides say, they would resist.

A different scenario unfolded in 1954, after the deaths and replacements of several senators over two years. Republicans remained the majority party even though Democrats eventually outnumbered them, 48 to 47, with one independent. Democratic leader Lyndon B. Johnson did not challenge the GOP's control, in part, historians said, because the independent, Wayne L. Morse of Oregon, warned that he would caucus with the Republicans if need be. That would have led to a 48-48 chamber, and Vice President Richard M. Nixon would have broken the tie in Republicans' favor.

Posted by: Ace at 05:51 AM | Comments (32)
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I've been drinking soy.

Actually, that's in reference to this woefully bad rap video in which women who can neither sing nor rap (nor allure) sing about their "diagonal eye."

(Diagonal?)

It's so awful on every level. But here's one way it's awful: it's trying to do a gangsta rap thing braggodocio about how magical their, um, gynies are, and how they're so spectacular, but then they have to do the PC-Sisterhood-of-Solidarity thing and assure the listener that while the singers' snootches are the best, everyone's pooter is the best too.

They're all best, and all equal.

Not safe for work, really. It's so stupid you maybe could get away with it, but maybe best not to try.

Via someone who really wishes he could post this on his own site.

Also... Not sure what they're going for by representing the vagina by an upside-down Star Trek insignia.

On Further Review: 1, definitely not safe for work.

2, there's only one chick, not two. The video quality is so bad I couldn't tell it was just the same chick.

3, I don't know if this is serious. It's so absurd that it might be intended as a joke. Which would make it 20% less funny.

But still funny.

Posted by: Ace at 07:46 PM | Comments (29)
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Reuters will have a report shortly confirming that Blitzer is in fact a Jew.

Posted by: Ace at 07:18 PM | Comments (14)
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And, not to be all dancing on undug graves or anything, but if he were to retire or be otherwise be incapacitated, a new Senator would be appointed by South Dakota's Republican legislature, which usually leaves the job to the Republican Governor.

The howls that a Democrat must be appointed will be furious.

Posted by: Ace at 02:43 PM | Comments (85)
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Pretty funny, and I can't say I disagree. I knew this guy (apparetly a bit on the left) would not call Batman a Republican, but then, after thinking about it, I guess it's not so clear cut.

This analysis is pretty good:

*
BATMAN – INDEPENDENT

Batman is a true independent, a man of solid principles and baffling contradictions. This may be because he is mentally ill. Batman has an almost paranoid distrust of government institutions, yet believes in the rule of law. He’s an urban vigilante, yet he’s a proponent of gun control. Batman is anti-death penalty to a fault – how many times has he had to capture the mass-murdering Joker and return him to Arkham Asylum instead of the electric chair? Contradictions be damned. Batman follows his own moral compass, and Batman is always right. When Batman votes, he weighs all the options and chooses the best person for the job, regardless of party affiliation or whether they are actually running for office. In other words, he writes-in BATMAN on every ballot.

Also funny is calling the Hulk a Libertarian, because "Hulk just want to be left alone."

Thanks to Lapsed Leftist.

Posted by: Ace at 01:49 PM | Comments (74)
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Odd: He was a monk before he became an actor. Apparently based in a monastery called "Abbey Normal."

But seriously, I wasn't making up the part about being a monk.

The obit says he refused roles which glamorized violence, turning down the Popeye Doyle role in The French Connection.

On the other hand, he played one of Travis Bickle's fellow taxi drivers in one of the most violent movies ever made, and one that ended on a decidedly ambiguous note about the fate of a psychotic spree-killer.

Posted by: Ace at 01:31 PM | Comments (27)
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This is very old to anyone who follows sports, but there you go. NYT link. $51 million not to actually sign the guy, but just for the rights to talk to the guy about maybe signing him.

Industry insiders say that an actual deal would run in the "several bazillions."

In related news, a new group blog just offered me "three buck, sixteen cent" to discuss my joining them.

Posted by: Ace at 01:26 PM | Comments (26)
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Rosie O'Donnell and Barbara Walters, fighting over whether Walters is merely "rich" or "very rich."

If only they were fighting with those Vulcan spear-mace things.

Thanks to yls.

Posted by: Ace at 01:21 PM | Comments (21)
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