Anyone recognize this picture?

Posted by: Ace at 07:19 PM | Comments (7)
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Sor t of misses the bigger news, doesn't it?

It mentions the bugging, briefly, as an afterthought midway through the article. Is there any doubt that had a Republican Administration done this that would be CNN's lead?

The media are very, very concerned with invasions of privacy by US intelligence organizations... but only if such concern help advance the liberal agenda.

Posted by: Ace at 02:00 PM | Comments (26)
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...with a side of "Flatliner Fries." Customers are called "patients," and if you order the Quadruple Bypass Burger, you get wheeled out of the joint in a wheelchair.

Michael Bloomberg just had a stroke.

Posted by: Ace at 01:56 PM | Comments (43)
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This is starting to get ridiculous.

Oil-rich Arab states in the Gulf announced at the end of a summit Sunday that they were considering a shared nuclear program for peaceful purposes.

Of course it's for peaceful purposes; it's not as if Saudi Arabia ever has ulterior motives.

"The (leaders) commissioned a study by members of the Gulf Cooperation Council to set up a common program in the area of nuclear energy for peaceful purposes, according to international standards and systems," said the final statement of the two-day GCC summit held in the Saudi capital.

These are some of the richest oil nations in the world; what could they possibly need nuclear power for?

Sources in Jerusalem said that this move was widely expected as the Sunni countries in the Persian Gulf are looking for a hedge against Shi'ite Iran that is pushing forward with its nuclear program.

So if I understand this correctly, they need their peaceful nuclear power because they're scared shitless of Iran's peaceful nuclear power. Is that right?

In related news, I am issuing an official Ace of Spades Executive Order declaring that the word "peaceful" is hereby devoid of any content or clearly discernible meaning until further notice.

Oh, and happy Human Rights Day. You can probably guess what Amnesty International is focusing on.

Posted by: AndrewR at 01:47 PM | Comments (22)
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From the Telegraph.

The article is titled "Fatherless Babies in Fertility Revolution", and is about changes to Britain's fertility laws in general, but that's not the half of it:

One of the key proposals would allow research on test-tube embryos that were part-human, part-animal — referred to as "chimeras".

Yeah, I'd say that's pretty damn "key", alright.

Anyway, the writer, whose seems to be going for the Understatement of the Year award, goes on the say that

The creation of combined human-animal embryos under licence will be popular among stem-cell researchers, including a team from the North East England Stem Cell Institute, which has submitted plans to create a human-cow chimera embryo. However, it will be bitterly contested by reproductive ethics campaigners who brand such ideas "abhorrent".

So if you're half cow and suffer from crippling quadriplegia, with this new technology you'll soon be able to graze and be milked by your human masters again.

Not that the scientists don't know where to draw the line:

Some medical advances will be outlawed, including the possible creation of a child by combining genetic material of two women, which would render males redundant altogether.

Eh, without the Y chromosome they wouldn't have been able to make a male anyway. Nice try, girls!

Now, this human/animal hybrid business puts us deep into some seriously scary Island of Dr. Moreau territory. They're going to have to invent a whole new field of ethics just to wrestle with the questions that are going to come up.

On the other hand, we may finally get an answer to the eternal question: Who wins in a fight between a man-beaver armed with a tire iron and a pit bull/pterodactyl with a prehensile tail?

My prediction: The man-beaver. He'll cunningly hide in his dam until his adversary falls asleep hanging upside-down in a tree, which he will then chew down with his rugged incisors. Then he'll finish off his prey with the tire iron while it's still groggy and stunned.

Well fought, noble warrior.

Science rules.

Posted by: AndrewR at 06:35 AM | Comments (141)
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Continuing the Christmas theme, here's a video of a department store Santa taking down a fleeing shoplifter.

Now, that's kinda cool, but it's not what makes the video great. What makes it great is that, after he tackles him, Santa kicks the dude in the head. The poor security guard is left trying to hold the thief with one hand and keep the bloodthirsty Kris Kringle away with the other. It's like they spliced together the DNA of Father Christmas and Gene Hackman in The French Connection.

100% pure awesome.

Via Cracked.

Posted by: AndrewR at 07:00 PM | Comments (37)
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The Non-Denominational All-Purpose Marginally Christ-Oriented Generic Santa Holiday Season is upon us.

This is typically when the most family friction and lifestyle angst arise.

I think I hit a common chord by stating that most of us here deal with difficult issues by imbibing coma-inducing amounts of liquor or illegal drugs, and spending the Great Season in a trash can behind the nearest hospital.

Right? Yeah, I'm right.
I know, because when I wake up on New Year's Eve, there's a bunch of morons in the dumpster next to me making Paul Anka repartee:

(Wiserbud standing ankle deep in used colostomy bags)

"First order of business, no T-shirts on stage. HAR HAR!"

(Entropy lying half-upright with his legs buried in a pile of empty pudding cups)

"What is this confusion on these endings? You want fucking Vinnie Falcone on front? You want a conductor that'll sit and ride your asses? Do you want your jobs? You guys are on thin ice. That's just the fucking. Way. It is! BLAAARGH HA HA HA HAAA!"

It seems very sad, if you've never seen their families.

That said, if you're bummed out over the holiday for any reason, please listen to this renowned pep talk from Mr. Paul Anka, which should energize just about anyone to feel better about their life and occupation.

And which also happens to be one of the keystones to the entire Ace of Spades experience.

I don't pull any punches with you guys. This is just the kind of kick that I'm on.

Back to basics.
Open thread my darlins.

Posted by: LauraW. at 06:28 PM | Comments (54)
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Voting has started. I'm up against Michelle Malkin, LGF, My Pet Jawa, Captain's Quarters...

Eh, it was fun while it lasted.

Larwyn tells me I'm the #1 Google search for "moronblog." So I've still got that.

Posted by: Ace at 12:38 PM | Comments (121)
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Update: Derek Shareef, Sudden Jihadi Syndrome sufferer.

A 22-year-old Rockford man with an ambition to become a terrorist has been arrested by federal authorities on allegations that he planned to set off grenades in garbage cans in a mall in Rockford.

Derrick Shareef, of Rockford, was arrested on Wednesday by FBI agents from the Chicago Joint Terrorism Task Force, the U.S. Attorney's office said.

He was apprehended after meeting with an undercover agent in a Rockford store parking lot to trade a set of stereo speaksers for four hand grenades and a handgun, the U.S. Attorney's office said.

Shareef was charged with one count of count of attempting to damage or destroy a building by fire or explosion and one count of attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction, authorities said.

Older Post:

They say he had plans and schemes but "no means." So it seems, so far, to be a case of a terrorist plot that's more aspirational than operational.

Not that he shouldn't be locked up. Just that it doesn't seem to have remotely close to the go signal.

More at Stop the ACLU, Hot Air, and Riehl World.

The guy's also supposedly a lone operator. So it's either Sudden Jihad Syndrome or just a guy with a non-religious grudge.

Posted by: Ace at 10:09 AM | Comments (128)
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Hmmm...

U.S. and German researchers found that people who have lower levels of self-esteem get more enjoyment from crime and detective stories that confirm their suspicions in the end, while those with higher self-esteem prefer a surprise ending.

"Personality plays a role in whether a person wants to be confirmed or surprised when they read mysteries," Silvia Knobloch-Westerwick, co-author of the study and assistant professor of communication at Ohio State University, said in a statement.

"People with low self-esteem like to feel they knew all along who committed the crime, probably because it makes them feel smarter."

...

The students read one of three versions of the story.

...

After reading the story, the participants rated how much they enjoyed the ending -- and people with low self-esteem rated the surprise ending as much less enjoyable.

John Kerry just announced his morale-boosting plan to ship tens of thousands of Encyclopedia Brown books to our troops. "Our troops really like those stories," he said. "Even though the actual solutions make their heads hurt, they enjoy knowing beforehand that the perpetrator is almost always Bugs Meaney."

Posted by: Ace at 10:03 AM | Comments (124)
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