WAS: Who was the guy playing "Mr. Berke" on 24?

It's driving me nuts.

He was the one the First Lady threatened to cry rape on in order to get a security pass.

Answer: It's Taylor Nichols, the main character from Barcelona, and in the other Whit Stilman movies. Thanks to Drew for that. It really was driving me bananas.

24 Drinking Game: I seriously suggest you don't play.

If you drink every time someone doesn't "have time for the protocols," you're going to be hung over the next morning, as well as dead.

The "technical section" alone of this game is lethal:

*Special technical section* Every timeÂ…
Satellite coordinates are requested, take 1 shot
– if they can’t get the coordinates, take another
thereÂ’s a problem with the database, take 1 shot
a file is in the wrong format, take 1 shot
something needs to be rerouted, take 1 shot
someone uses another personÂ’s computer, take 1 shot

I'd add:

If...

...satellites are repositioned, take 1 shot
...it's going to take "too much time" to reposition the satellite, take another
...and if Jack "just doesn't have that kind of time," finish the bottle

Thanks to Craig.

Posted by: Ace at 06:06 PM | Comments (38)
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Break out the Dom Perignon.

Earth scientists with the longest frames of reference, particularly those whose specialties begin with the prefix "paleo," often seem to be the least agitated about human-caused global warming.

Shut up.

And through hundreds of millions of years, concentrations of carbon dioxide and the other trace gases that trap solar energy and prevent the planet from being an ice ball have mostly been far higher than those typical during humankind's short existence.

Compared with that norm, the rapid buildup of carbon dioxide now from a binge of burning forests, coal and oil lasting for centuries (and counting) is but a blip.

Not only that, but apparently the Earth can sustain far more of us than the overpopulation-worriers think it can.

Dr Badescu and Richard Cathcart, a geographical consultant in Burbank, California, repeated Prof Fremlin's calculations, using more up to date thermodynamic models. Assuming that every person emits 120 watts of heat and that it would be uncomfortable if the average temperature at the Earth's surface rose too much, the researchers declared the Earth could sustain 1.3 million billion people without overheating.

Writing in the journal, the researchers acknowledge the Earth's resources could be put under severe strain long before the theoretical population peak is reached.

"Constraints like food availability or physiological necessities may become critical in the relatively near future. But they are subjected to a continuous change as a result of the development of human civilisation and technology," Dr Badescu said.

1.3 million billion?
Can you imagine the line at Sizzler? Forget about it.

Good paper on the subject of climate change here.

And a delicious little FAQ here.

UPDATE: That 1.3 million billion thing looking more suspicious and silly all the time. Does he mean shoulder-to-shoulder?

However, warming world coupled with higher atmospheric CO2...is a good thing for people.

In conclusion, the results of the several studies we have reviewed in this Summary clearly demonstrate that the concomitant increases in air temperature and CO2 concentration experienced over the past century or more did not exert a significant negative influence on the agricultural enterprise. In most cases, in fact, they actually contributed to the large increases in yield experienced over this period, even in the face of a temperature increase claimed by climate alarmists to have been unprecedented over the past two millennia and an atmospheric CO2 increase that may well have been unprecedented over the past several hundred millennia. Yet these two atmospheric trends are claimed by the world's radical environmentalists to constitute the greatest threat facing the world today.

They could not be more wrong. In light of the material presented here, and especially in our Subject Index under the heading Agriculture (Our Greatest Challenge), it is clear that we are going to need all of the extra atmospheric CO2 we can get in order to not have to usurp all remaining land and freshwater resources to produce the food that will be needed to feed our growing numbers in the years and decades ahead.

Posted by: LauraW. at 05:45 PM | Comments (30)
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The Barrett Report may finally see the light of day:

In Monday's edition of the NEW YORK SUN, reporter Brian McGuire and contributor R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr., break the first look at the long-anticipated report from Independent Counsel David Barrett, whose investigation lasted 10 year and cost taxpayers $23 million.

The SUN outlines the report's details surrounding the alleged illicit activity and cover up that involving former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Henry Cisneros before and during his time in the Clinton Administration.

The Sun reveals that the Barrett report connects the dots that allege that senior officials of the Clinton Administration hindered investigations by the IRS in both Texas and Washington, as well as the investigations of a grand jury examining the independent counsel's evidence.

I don't seem to remember the media making much of a fuss about corruption and cover-ups in the Executive Branch itself. Of course, that was "good corruption," I suppose, just like there are "good leaks."

The Democrats fought to have one entire quarter of the report redacted.

Must have been out of concern for national security. Lot of big military secrets tied up in the Housing and Urban Development Department.

Posted by: Ace at 01:57 PM | Comments (81)
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Almost as touching a gesture as my giving my family leftover Ace of Spades t-shirts for Christmas.

Katie Holmes seems to have a "type," and that type is self-absorbed non-placaters.

"Each was inscribed with a special handwritten love message to the future mother of his child."

Dear Katie,

Just wanted you to know you're the sexiest person I've ever met, even hotter than the shirtless, oiled-up Rick Rossovich and Val Kilmer in the volleyball scene in Top Gun. Talk about a target-rich environment.

Sometimes, when I rewatch that scene, I think about you, for like two seconds. Then it's right back to masturbating with the repetitive mechanical fury of a misfiring industrial robot.

I "love" you, (nudge-nudge),

Tom, the future "father" of "our" children

PS: Bryan Brown is also really tasty in Cocktail.

And, in case you haven't heard, Hollywood is grabbing its ankles for Brokeback Mountain.

But not just Brokeback. They're aware the public may be annoyed at such praise lavished upon such a mediocre, tedious movie, and so they're heaping awards on other gay-themed movies as well.

Let's see... about 3% (at most) of the population is gay, and about 15% of the population is so gay-crazy they wonder if they're homophotes because they've never gotten around to having gay sex, just for the sake of same-sex solidarity.

18% of the public, then, is dying to see these movies. 82% are staying in to watch Monk and the the widescreen version of Kelly's Heroes on TBS.

Tentpole pictures, baby. I wonder why box office receipts are down with this sort of sure-fire strategy.

And yes, I know full well that only a tiny number of movies are gay themed. I'm overstating. But really, this demonstrates that Hollywood isn't really into the mass-entertainment business. Or at least they'd strongly prefer not to be. While there are a number of box-office whores left around like Joel Silver (and I use the term "box-office whore" here as a compliment), they really seem to want to make, and over-promote, movies just to impress their friends.

They always say make art that you yourself would like. But then, this is show business, not show kiss-up-to-Tim-Robbins-and-Meathead-from-All-in-the-Family.

Posted by: Ace at 01:28 PM | Comments (128)
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Mayor Ray Nagin told a crowd gathered at City Hall on Monday for a march honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. that New Orleans will be "chocolate" again.

"It's the way God wants it to be."

Swi-i-i-ng loooow.....

UPDATE: Max provides a link to Nagin's speech.

Its pretty awful. First his batshit imaginary "conversation with Dr. King," then "This city will be chocolate at the end of the day."

Certainly, that is what Dr. King would have wanted. How did that speech go again? "I have a dream...that one day some grandstanding bigot will define a city by the color of its inhabitants."

Yeah, that's right. Just nod and go along with it.

UPDATE II: Superb spoof found by Cliff S.

“We’re talking caramel levees to withstand a category five. You know, the kind they put around apples and sell on the street at Mardi Gras. That shit’ll break your teeth. It sure as hell can take a storm surge.What part of pure imagination don’t you understand?”

Posted by: LauraW. at 01:26 PM | Comments (15)
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I wish Mad Mikey well.

Posted by: Ace at 01:13 PM | Add Comment
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Reach out and kill someone:

A single shot hit the Iraqi in the chest and killed him instantly. It had been fired from a range of more than three-quarters of a mile, well beyond the capacity of the powerful Leupold sight, accurate to 3,300 feet.

"I believe it is the longest confirmed kill in Iraq with a 7.62mm rifle," said Sgt. Gilliland, 28....

You know, if I were a sniper, I'd carve the words "It's not you... it's me" into my stock. I think my targets would appreciate the subtle, ironic reference, except that they would be dead and everything.

Posted by: Ace at 12:57 PM | Comments (30)
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He's wearing a suit now, which he considers more "gubernatorial" than a throw-carpet.

Black witch pink-slipped:

News traveled fast Friday when Sharkey announced he was a vampyre and he wants to be Minnesota's next governor. Just hours after the Friday news conference, Sharkey's girlfriend learned she was losing her job as a school bus driver.

On Saturday she tearfully read from the letter the Princeton School District gave her employer, Peterson Bus. The letter says, "It is our opinion that Ms. Carpenter does not serve as a role model, nor is suitable to provide transportation services for the Princeton School District, in light of recent media reports of her husband/friend to be a vampyre who is running for public office, and Ms. Carpenter informing other bus garage employees that she is a witch."

I always am conflicted about these things. On one hand, people have a right to have their own political views and odd lifestyle choices without being persecuted for them. On the other hand, especially in jobs dealing with children, some hobbies and pursuits just seem too bizarre to expose kids to.

Has anyone ever really considered a bus driver a role-model, by the way?

Posted by: Ace at 12:17 PM | Comments (71)
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Makes sense. Penises can only say one thing, and "Hey, look over thisaway" isn't really political speech.

Michigan's Supreme Court Friday let stand the indecent exposure conviction of a man who used his penis as a character on his cable access TV show.

Maybe the Biggest Genital Round-Up ever at Link Mecca.

Posted by: Ace at 11:55 AM | Comments (36)
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True:

Someone in the comments section asked me if Bill Maher's head is abnormally larger when compared to the rest of his body. No. Actually, his body is abnormally smaller, when compared to his head. I saw him recently at a party, and he resembles a human Tootsie Pop. I wanted to lick his face until I found the chewy center.

Check out his footwear, Greg. He's also wearing high-heeled boots that would give Prince vertigo.

He's also not big on Playboy:

I just got the new Playboy in the mail at work. Christ, it's so awful. Is it just me, or is that magazine stuck in some strange timewarp where full-page cartoons of randy nuns are still considered funny? When I page through it, I feel like I'm hanging out in a basement with Robert Culp, and he's smoking a cigar with his bathrobe open (and he isn't wearing any boxers).

Which isn't fun, let me tell you. First Culp goes on and on about how brave he was for insisting on a black co-star for I Spy, and then he goes right for your mangina.

Just kidding. I dig The Culp. He was Bill on Greatest American Hero. And he's in the three-timer's club on Columbo.

Thanks to steve_in_hb.

Posted by: Ace at 11:38 AM | Comments (8)
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