I know someone's yanking my crank, but on the off chance...

Beijing - North Korean leader Kim Jong II has disappeared in China. His luxurious special train which reportedly crossed the border into China Tuesday morning at Dandong was nowhere to be found Wednesday.

'We really would like to know where he is, but we simply don't have a clue,' said a South Korean military attache, who added he felt he was left in the lurch by his own intelligence services.

Although the train was seen travelling in the direction of Beijing by officials at two railway stations, Kim did not show up in the Chinese capital, sparking a torrent of speculation.

I think I speak for every red-blooded American when I say I just pray he's safe, heathly, and comfortable.

Oh, and also: Murdered.

Thanks to Fred.

Posted by: Ace at 05:56 PM | Comments (31)
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Pretty good. The song's refrain is, It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.

It's labled "Mature," I guess because of the video it runs with, which I haven't watched. Maybe it's the naked Jamie Gumb thing. They do use the f-bomb, as Jamie Gumb did.

Florida Cracker's on a serious psychiatric jag today, because she also links the story of a man lobotomized 44 years ago who went searching for answers why they'd cut into his brain.

Posted by: Ace at 05:24 PM | Comments (18)
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Sorry about the assholishness exhibited by some. Well, one. Well, actually, I mean Bob.

I guess I sort of thought this was implied, but perhaps not. This isn't a flame war thread or an argument thread. This is an invitation for delurkers, if they like, to say hello, and other people to say hello to them.

No f'n' insults, please.

I doubt anyone will delurk now thanks to somone who won't be named -- but his name is "Bob," if you must know -- but if you feel like delurking in a Bob-free zone, you may.

I'm sorry to those who chose to say hello only to be insulted for no good reason.

Posted by: Ace at 04:38 PM | Comments (139)
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Well, not really, but it's not the as looked down on as it used to be, either:

A survey finds America's attitudes toward overweight people are shifting from rejection toward acceptance. Over a 20-year period, the percentage of Americans who said they find overweight people less attractive steadily dropped from 55 percent to 24 percent, the market research firm NPD Group found.

That said, if you find that you can only leave your apartment via a crane and a hole cut through the wall with an plasma cutter, you should probably consider doing some vigorous calisthenics. Jumping jacks, maybe, or doing whatever the hell you're supposed to do with that big "medicine ball." Far as I can tell people just flop down on it and roll around a little, which doesn't seem like something that would really work that cardio system.

Reminder: This may be a survey, but they sure the hell didn't survey Chris Klein. So, you can feel a little freer to put on some "comfort pounds," but if you're dating Chris Klein, and you have your period and you're retaining weight, don't expect him to placate.

You're only asking for heartbreak.

Thanks to BrewFan of reminding me of that. Chris Klein has thing thing going that's working for him, but he has to be firm.

Posted by: Ace at 04:28 PM | Comments (25)
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The joke is old and it's getting annoying. If you want to do this joke, make it clear it's not the real person posting, but putting a (not really) after the name, or else calling yourself "Tubino Junior" or something.

No more of it, please.

Posted by: Ace at 04:23 PM | Comments (71)
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TV Watchin' Mummy!

The mummified body of a woman who didn't want to be buried was found in a chair in front of her television set 2 1/2 years after her death, authorities said.

Johannas Pope had told her live-in caregiver that she didn't want to be buried and planned on returning after she died, Hamilton County Coroner O'Dell Owens said Monday.

...

It could take weeks to determine Pope's cause of death because little organ tissue was available for testing, Owens said.

An air conditioner had been left running upstairs, and that allowed the body to slowly mummify, he said. The machine apparently stopped working about a month ago, and the body began to smell.

"Standing outside, one could smell death," Owens said.

TV. Watchin'. Mummy.

Now that's my idea of a paradisical afterlife: watching nonstop repeats of The Nanny on the Superstation.

Thanks to Craig.

Posted by: Ace at 02:03 PM | Comments (12)
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...with a reference to Rightwing Sparkle.

One problem I have with these MSM round-ups is that they apparently think all blogs are nothing but snark. And that's all they quote. Little empty snarky one-liners of three or four words, hardly above the level of "Bu$h suxxor" or "Bush PWNed Kennedy!"

And you know, that is a lot of blogging, as people just throw up a quick, superficial take on a story they've linked. But what about the longer, more analytical, or more funny pieces? The posts bloggers are actually proud of? They never quote those. Either they don't have the space or they don't want to alert the public that bloggers do, occasionally, write something besides "wait 'till Dick Cheney's cock hears about this."

I've been mentioned a couple of times on CNN's Inside Politics, and each time it was for some idiotic throw-away line, even though there was funnier or more interesting stuff on the page that very day.

But that's the CNN verion of Ace of Spades. The guy who said of Ted Stevens' crusade to get dirty stuff off cable tv, "Any party that tries to take the titty-channels away from a red-blooded American male is just asking to lose their political power." Wow. I couldn't be prouder.

The MSM really should cut down on the empty, predictable snark from bloggers and post more substantive stuff from us (them, actually-- I don't do substance). And yeah, that may violate fair use, but you know what? If you toss someone $50 smackers to have their essay up in the on-line version of the Times they'll jump at the chance. Hell, you might not even have to pay them anything at all.

Posted by: Ace at 12:53 PM | Comments (33)
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Worth it.

Thanks to SWOOD.

Another One, By the Army: I kinda quibble with the choice of the truck commercial jingle "Like a Rock" as music, but the pictures are great.

Thanks to James.

Posted by: Ace at 12:47 PM | Comments (40)
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IranFocus says the whole system is falling apart.

Lovely oil infrastructure you have here, Colonel. Be a shame if something were to happen to it.

A-Man, providing some evidence that sanctions could actually work. Maybe.

Posted by: Ace at 11:33 AM | Comments (14)
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Giant freakin' bog-mummy!

The preserved remains of two prehistoric men discovered in an Irish bog have revealed a couple of surprises --- one used hair gel and the other stood 6 foot 6 inches high, the tallest Iron Age body discovered.

"He would have been a giant...the other man was quite short, about 5 foot 2 inches," said Ned Kelly, head of antiquities at the National Museum of Ireland.

"The shorter man appeared to attempt to give himself greater stature by a rather curious headdress which was a bit like a Mohican-style with the hair gel, which was a resin imported from France," Kelly told BBC radio.

A hair-product from France? The deuce you say.

Both men met grisly ends:

The bodies, which are both male and have been dated to more than 2,000 years old, probably belong to the victims of a ritual sacrifice.

In common with other bog bodies, they show signs of having been tortured before their deaths.

...

Clonycavan man was a young male no more than 5ft 2in tall (1.6m). Beneath his hair, which retains its unusual "raised" style, was a massive wound caused by heavy cutting object that smashed open his skull.

...

Old Croghan man was also young - probably in his early to mid 20s - but much taller than his counterpart from 25 miles away. Scientists worked out from the length of his arms that he would have stood around 6ft 6in tall (2.0m).

He had been horrifically tortured before death. His nipples had been cut and he had been stabbed in the ribs. A cut on his arm suggested he had tried to defend himself during the attack that ended his life.

The young man was later beheaded and dismembered. Hazel ropes were passed through his arms before he was buried in the bog.

Giant. Freakin'. Bog mummy.

AoSHQ: Your on-line source for Call of Cthulhu adventure seeds.

Incidentally, does anyone have the CoC game for the X-Box? Is it any good?

Thanks to SarahW.

Posted by: Ace at 10:07 AM | Comments (39)
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