Lot of this going 'round lately:

First it was Napoleon. Now it is Jesus Christ.

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Belusconi has compared himself to both, prompting the open scorn of his political opponents and even the quietly raised eyebrows of his coalition partners.

“I am the Jesus Christ of politics,” Italian media quoted him as saying at a dinner with supporters on Saturday night. “I am a patient victim, I put up with everyone, I sacrifice myself for everyone.”

...

On Friday, Berlusconi compared himself to Napoleon, saying only the French emperor had done more for his country.

You'll recall Berlusconi recently pledged to abstain from sex until the elections.

His new pledge? "I will redeem mankind from its original state of sin, at least until the elections. And then I think I'll try to conquer Europe. Until the elections, you understand."

Thanks to S J.

Posted by: Ace at 07:42 AM | Comments (13)
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Old but new again. Ten Ways Dick Cheney Can Kill You.

Although we know that Dick Cheney prefers to wound. Dead men tell no tales, and Dick Cheney likes having colorful, bloody stories told about him. Usually these stories include the lines, "And then all I did was call 'shotgun' as we were heading back to the car, and Dick Cheney says 'That's not how my Pappy taught me to play shotgun.' He apologized profusely, but I don't know if I should believe him, because he was giggling like a maniac during the whole ambulance ride."

Thanks to Tim Mac.

Posted by: Ace at 07:32 AM | Comments (12)
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Seriously, don't read this. more...

Posted by: Ace at 07:24 AM | Comments (23)
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...according to, I guess, polls. While you wrap your mind around that conundrum, consider this:

Dr. Aaron Fine, the head of Israel's Tatzpit polling agency told Arutz-7 Sunday that 75% of the public refuses to take part in polls, rendering poll results nearly useless.

Dr. Fine posits that a much larger percentage of those who intend on voting for right-wing and religious parties refuse to answer pollsters than other voters. "They donÂ’t like polls, they don't like the media and they want them to just leave them alone."

In related news, John Kerry just entered his second year of not being president.

Posted by: Ace at 08:58 PM | Comments (53)
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I was looking for this a few weeks ago, and I just came across it randomly on Devil Ducky.

Pretty funny-- Stewie goads Brian about the "novel" he's supposed to have been "working on" for the past three years.

Posted by: Ace at 05:33 PM | Comments (6)
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I said that Dick Cheney had shot his hunting buddy because of his love for hunting the ultimate prey, man. Two-second joke.

Jack Straw tips me that some nitwits really believe this. And have been making this allegation for a long time:

In order to truly understand how despicable and repulsive Cheney and his schemes actually are, we must revisit the past before we continue. A CFR member; Cheney was Chief of Staff to Gerald Ford, Secretary of Defense to George Herbert Bush, and Wyoming's only Congressman. There is a hunting lodge near Greybull, Wyoming where Dickie Dearest was obsessed with "A Most Dangerous Game" (human hunting) and addicted to the thrill of the sport of traumatizing his victims while satisfying his sick perversions. Although this "game" was devised to condition military personnel in survival and combat maneuvers, it was used on Cathy O'Brien and other slaves as a means to further conditioning of the mind to the realization there was no place to hide, as well as traumatization for ensuing programming. According to Cathy, this game had numerous variations on the primary theme of being stripped of clothing, turned loose in wilderness areas which were enclosed in secure military fencing, and hunted by men and dogs until caught, raped, and tortured. This is our Vice President! (Editors note - we'd like to make it clear that these allegations are just that, allegations, and are not proven by anything more than testimony).

Not proven, no. But come on-- we all know it's true.

In related news, Cheney's hunting buddy says he doesn't mind the birdshot in the ribs so much, but he'll be happy when he's able to sit down again.

Posted by: Ace at 05:25 PM | Comments (37)
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Caution: This man is considered armed and "extremist."

Moements after accidentally maiming a hunting companion with birdshot yesterday, Vice President Dick Cheney commandeered a nearby 1999 Ford Mustang GT for an impromptu barnstorming tour of the U.S. Southwest.

The vehicle, now dubbed “Air Force Mustang 2,” has thus far maintained a frenetic schedule, with only necessarily brief stops at two gas stations and a San Antonio-area liquor store.

Posted by: Ace at 05:12 PM | Comments (6)
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The spin is that it was just a mistake.

The truth is that Cheney was just hunting the ultimate prey-- man.

RCL suggests Cheney was "sending a message."

That message? Don't fuckin' use the word "literally" unless you mean literally.

It's about time. Only Dick Cheney has the balls to take this sort of proactive action against poor English usage.

Photo Bias? Check out CNN's pic of Cheney:

Hell, they use more flattering photos for Charles Manson's probation hearings.

Thanks to Rip.

Posted by: Ace at 12:38 PM | Comments (86)
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Last resort? Seems the only resort:

Strategists at the Pentagon are drawing up plans for devastating bombing raids backed by submarine-launched ballistic missile attacks against Iran’s nuclear sites as a “last resort” to block Teheran’s efforts to develop an atomic bomb.

...

“This is more than just the standard military contingency assessment,” said a senior Pentagon adviser. “This has taken on much greater urgency in recent months.”

Posted by: Ace at 10:47 AM | Comments (24)
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Well, maybe not the three-drink part. I'm contractually obligated, you know, to publish this sort of story when Allah sends it to me:

Being highly sexed changes men's and women's sexual orientation in startlingly different ways, a major academic study has concluded.

The research, conducted by Dr Richard Lippa, an internationally renowned sex expert at California State University, shows highly sexed women to be no less than 27 times more likely than men to become attracted to their own sex. The survey, of more than 3,500 people, is published in this month's Psychological Science. It showed that 0.3 per cent of men were attracted to their own sex, as opposed to 8 per cent of women.

For most women, a high sex drive increases their sexual attraction to both men and women. The opposite occurs in men, where a high sex drive simply exaggerates existing sexual orientation.

Dr Lippa told The Independent on Sunday: "Sexuality is more complex than we want to believe. It is more common for women to change their sexuality. My personal sense is that there are very few bisexual men, but there are significantly more bisexual women out there."

Researchers are finding evidence that there is a key biological difference at play between the sexes, rather than sociological factors alone.

I love science.

Posted by: Ace at 10:39 AM | Comments (36)
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