Bad moon on the rise:

More than 130 people, including dozens who joined a demonstration against sectarian violence, were killed in bloodshed across Iraq despite calls for calm on Thursday from leaders fearful of civil war.

A day after a suspected al Qaeda bomb destroyed a major Shi'ite shrine, Iraq canceled all leave for the police and army and minority Sunni political leaders pulled out of U.S.-backed talks on forming a national unity government, accusing the ruling Shi'ites of fomenting dozens of attacks on Sunni mosques.

Washington, which wants stability in Iraq to help it extract around 130,000 U.S. troops, has also called for restraint, reflecting international fears that the oil-exporting country of 27 million may be slipping closer to all-out sectarian war.

The main Sunni religious authority made an extraordinary public criticism of the Shi'ites' most revered clerical leader, accusing him of fuelling the violence by calling for protests.

President Jalal Talabani, a Kurd, pressed ahead despite the Sunni boycott with a meeting that he had called to avert a descent toward a civil war. After discussions with Shi'ites, Kurds and leaders of a smaller Sunni group, he told a televised news conference that if all-out war came "no one will be safe."

Least of all the Sunnis.

It's a scary prospect, but for three years we, and the Iraqi majority, have been handling this as if it's largely a police matter -- yes, police with tanks and guns and helicopters, but still the paradigm of just rounding up the criminals holds.

It's actually a war and it always has been. The Sunnis are determined to continue the bloodletting, and they've been protected, thusfar, from the same viciousness being visited upon them by the US, which restrains the Kurds and especially the Shi'ites.

I would obviously like a peaceful Iraq. But I don't know if that's possible until the Sunnis are threatened, and perhaps more than threatened, with bloody retaliation.

I wonder if Bush's insticts regarding the Palestinians aren't applicable here. A people won't make peace until they want to make peace, and very often they won't want to make peace until they've suffered through the horror of war. Making peace with despised enemies seems, to the Sunnis, the worst of all possible choices... but then, they haven't experienced the actual worst choice yet.

Posted by: Ace at 08:53 AM | Comments (14)
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Don't they know there's a war on?

The Nevada Supreme Court is hearing a challenge to a city ordinance that bans certain types of touching by exotic dancers. The law makes it a misdemeanor for a stripper to fondle or caress a patron or for the patron to do the same to the dancer.

More than a dozen strippers are challenging the Las Vegas ordinance. Their lawyer contends a stripper could be arrested for merely shaking a customer's hand.

Yeah. That's what the law prohibits. Shaking a customer's hand.

I gotta tell ya, I'm going to be upset if this law is upheld. Guys need to let off steam occasionally by going to a strip club, seeing some naked ladies, and then giving them a firm, dry handshake.

Thanks to SWOOD.

Posted by: Ace at 08:46 AM | Comments (4)
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The first "man-made" prostate, except it isn't. It was created by an all-woman team of Australian scientists.

Allah speculates: "They're building themselves the perfect man, from the ground up. A race of sensitive-guy super-pussies to replace us all." With really kick-ass prostate glands.

Guys, we have to get on the ball here.

Posted by: Ace at 08:39 AM | Comments (7)
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Wonderful:

The United Arab Emirates has become what the Bush administration calls a reliable partner in the war against Islamic terrorists, but its rulers maintained close ties to Osama bin Laden before September 11, and the cities of Abu Dhabi and Dubai have since served as operations and financial bases for al Qaeda terrorists.

But the United Arab Emirates, the most Western of Persian Gulf nations, also has become the United States' closest military ally in the region. Its ruling emirs permit Navy warships to dock in the bustling commercial center of Dubai on lengthy liberty calls. It also hosts U.S. Air Force warplanes, refueling jets and spy planes at the sprawling Al Dhafra air base near Abu Dhabi. The base sits across the gulf from U.S. adversary Iran.

During the Clinton administration, the United States even considered killing bin Laden when he was on a hunting expedition but did not because one of his hunting partners was one of the United Arab Emirates' emirs.

"They have been helpful and supportive and a good partner in the fight against terrorism," said a U.S. counterterrorism official.

It is these two faces of the Arab nation -- a one-time sympathizer of al Qaeda, yet strong post-September 11 U.S. partner -- that Washington is considering in the debate over the Bush administration's proposal to let United Arab Emirates company Dubai Ports World run six large U.S. seaports.

I think it's just peachy that the UAE has, as it were, come to Jesus, but you don't trust a bottle of Scotch to a former alcoholic. There aren't any former alcoholics.

Thanks to Allah.

Posted by: Ace at 08:27 AM | Comments (7)
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Rush Limbaugh: It's more about Hillary! and Chuck Schumer doing favors for the Longshoreman's Union (who fear Dubai will be a tough negotiator) than homeland security. He also notes that OBL didn't have to pay $8 billion to buy a piece of the Port Authority in order to destroy the World Trade Center.

Jim Geraghty recants his previous opposition, and says "we've been snookered" by the liberal media. He underlines what you already know: the ports aren't being "sold," the Dubai company will take over operations at the ports because they're buying out the contracts of the previous operator (British company P&O), and all security will still be conducted by the Coast Guard.

Instapundit seems to be climbing down from his initial opposition, based upon the opinions he quotes.

To me, this now turns on whether the UAE has really been the "very, very solid" ally (according to Don Rumsfeld) we're now hearing it is. If that's true, then I suppose it is wise to reward your allies.

It also occurs to me that terrorists will probably not send WMD materials through our ports. Why would they? If I were trying to smuggle in some bioweapon or nuke component, I wouldn't take the risk that our 1-in-20 container inspection system would catch it. I would just arrange for an ocean-capable boat -- not an ocean-crosser, but a yacht or something -- to meet a vessel twenty miles off the coast of the US. I'd just off-load the stuff the yacht and dock it at a private dock, where there are no inspections at all.

Pot and heroin and coke come in the US on speedboats, completely avoiding ports and port security. Why wouldn't a nuclear terrorist be as sophisticated as a Mexican pot-runner?

I guess I'm climbing down now too, though I still need to know more.

Posted by: Ace at 08:08 AM | Comments (25)
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...explained by "Red Guy" and "Blue Guy."

Old, Slublog says, but kind of funny.

Posted by: Ace at 07:55 AM | Comments (8)
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According to Capitol Hill Blue.

Secret Service agents guarding Vice President Dick Cheney when he shot Texas lawyer Harry Whittington on a hunting outing two weeks ago say Cheney was "clearly inebriated" at the time of the shooting.
Agents observed several members of the hunting party, including the Vice President, consuming alcohol before and during the hunting expedition, the report notes, and Cheney exhibited "visible signs" of impairment, including slurred speech and erratic actions.

According to those who have talked with the agents and others present at the outing, Cheney was drunk when he gunned down his friend and the day-and-a-half delay in allowing Texas law enforcement officials on the ranch where the shooting occurred gave all members of the hunting party time to sober up.

We talked with a number of administration officials who are privy to inside information on the Vice President's shooting "accident" and all admit Secret Service agents and others say they saw Cheney consume far more than the "one beer' he claimed he drank at lunch earlier that day.

"This was a South Texas hunt," says one White House aide. "Of course there was drinking. There's always drinking. Lots of it."

One agent at the scene has been placed on administrative leave and another requested reassignment this week. A memo reportedly written by one agent has been destroyed, sources said Wednesday afternoon.

If you buy Capitol Hill Blue, that is. Which I'm not sure I do.

Usually, I'd say that I tend to buy Bill Maher's line, "Every rumor is true."

But Mark in Mexico runs down Doug Thompson's reportage. Let's just say he's not exactly Woodward & Bernstein.

Posted by: Ace at 08:22 PM | Comments (51)
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Just silly.

A police officer was checking homes in the area reports of break-in attempts.

He saw a door open at the home, walked in and saw what looked like a bomb-making assembly line.

"There were cylinders, pipe cylinders, end caps and the like. I backed out of the house and thought we might have some pipe bomb manufacturing going on," said Frank Young of Warren County Emergency Services.

...

"It was a production line, but it was not bombs, it was sex toys," said Young.

Yes, the cylinders resembled the notorious "Rabbit" Improvised Explosive Device.

Frank Young really needs to get out more often. Or, like, compare the suspected "bombs" to the general contours of his junk before calling in the feds.

Update: Frank Young just reported a "compact pipe bomb" left unattended in his pants.

Thanks to BizzyBlog, who probably doesn't even want the credit.

Posted by: Ace at 07:58 PM | Comments (19)
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Compelling. And rich.

Sadly, none of have been re-titled Take Me To Pleasure Town (Oh, We're Goin').

Thanks to Molly.

Posted by: Ace at 07:29 PM | Comments (13)
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Bumped, in case you missed it last week. Everyone seems to be discovering this this week, so...

Pretty funny.

Eric, who sends it, says it would have even Chris Klein saying "Woah, dude, chill out. This is a human being you're talking about here."

Pardon the ungrammatical constructions, which are in the original; I've done some light correcting for clarity. He's not exactly a genius. Although, in ways, this contract does show flashes of true brilliance.

My-Time

Whenever we are at home and alone as a family, from when your are to be naked until 12:00am or for three hours, whichever is later, will be My-Time. This time will be time you will devout solely to me, whereas you will be in my service to do anything and everything I want, which may or may not be sexual in manner.

May or may not be sexual in manner? Anyone want to lay money against "may"? I'm taking all the action you guys will give me on that one.

...

During My-Time You WILL NOT:

1) Argue about anything with me or to me.

2) Compain about anything to me me, or about me.

3) Cry, sob, whine, or pout.

4) Sigh, moan, sulk, or other wise show displeasure or unhappiness.

5) Raise your voice at or to me.

6) Be condescending to, or about me.

7) As for anything from me or for me.

Be distracted from me, by other things.

During My-Time you WILL:

1) Be subservient, submissive, and totally obedient.

2) To do what you are asked, when you are asked, exactly how your are asked.

3) Be cheerful and adoring towards me.

4) Be close at all times, unless otherwise told to.

5) Perform any and all sexual acts... [specific acts ommitted, but use your imagination... suffice to say he's not talking about getting to first base. More like getting to fifth and sixth base, if you know what I'm sayin']

He says "excluding" certain acts in that last bit, but I'm pretty sure he means "including."

He notes that if the couple is not alone during "My Time," she is allowed to wear her clothes, and may speak openly, but all other restrictions still apply. I wonder if Number 5 still applies. A lawyer would really have to look over this document for problems.

Dressing Up [which for some reason is in a cutesy cursive header-font]

For special events that we are to dress up for, when we are going to someone else's house... your clothes must meet my approval. General rules are:

Panties are optional and need not be worn [a little liberty!]
Only thigh-highs and garter-- no pantyhose
If you are not wearing thigh-highs & garter, then no panties
[this is great...]
All skirts no lower than two inches below the knee (unless its for Church)

Unless it's for Church. Well! At least he's a man of propriety.

He also defines "Good Behavior Days." GDB's are days upon which his wife/prisoner acts according to the rules, and she can redeem them for days upon which she can be more lax in observing the rules.

And Photos. "You are to to pose for 20 photos per quarter on demand, unless your quota is filled. Outfits and poses will always be chosen by me. You must be freshly shave on the the day that photos are taken regardless of your shaving schedule."

It's all good. One matrimonial innovation after another.

My only problem is that this "contract" seeks to specify in legal-esque language what should be, for any woman, just common sense behavior anyway.

I mean, does any woman really need "My Time" spelled out for you? Or Good Behavior Days? Or specified naked hours?

Come on. Your parents raised you better than that.

Posted by: Ace at 05:57 PM | Comments (60)
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