Nice!

I'm glad when I don't have to wait around for crap like this. Instant gratification and all.

I happen to have an exclusive-- the actual charges to be filed against Cynthia McKinney.

COUNT ONE: "Being in Congress while black" (CLASS A FELONY)

COUNT TWO: Driving Under the Influence of Barry White (CLASS B MISDEMEANOR)

COUNT THREE: Reckless uppitiness (CLASS A MISDEMEANOR)

COUNT FOUR: Aggravated Sass in the second degree (CLASS A MISDEMEANOR)

COUNT FIVE: Refusing to yield to The Man when he demands you shuck and jive for him (CLASS C FELONY)

COUNT SIX: Carrying Soul Without a Permit (CLASS B MISDEMEANOR)

COUNT SEVEN: Possession of TRUTH! with intent to distribute (CLASS A FELONY)

In related news, O.J. Simpson says, "Word. All I was guilty of was sawing off two people's heads while black. They let white people do that all the time. I hear that Gary Busey has an entire basement filled with hitchhikers' severed genitals. But when a black man butchers a couple of people they make a big deal out of it, like it's a crime or something."

Posted by: Ace at 01:00 PM | Comments (142)
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Cool video, as a parachutist is bulleted into the air by the world's biggest wrist-rocket and then parachutes down.

The only thing that could possibly make this past-time more dangerous, I think, would be to strap an epileptic alligator to your chest while doing it.

Thanks to John.

Posted by: Ace at 12:38 PM | Comments (22)
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And yet it's racist for America to put up a wall.

Posted by: Ace at 11:43 AM | Comments (21)
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Risky Buzziness, DDG headlines:

Looks kind of like Jeff Goldblum, as it turns out. I can just imagine him acting all weird as he tries to pick up Scarlett Johansen.

Some guys are working on a cure for cancer. This guy wants to cure vermin of myopia.

An entry in a German science-photo competition, this image shows a fly sporting a set of "designer" lenses crafted and set in place with a cutting-edge laser technique. The glasses fit snuggly on the fly's 0.08-inch-wide (2-millimeter-wide) head.

...

Micreon, based in Hannover, Germany, created the fly's eyewear using ultrafast laser micro-machining. The firm notes on its Web site that the process can create objects with high precision at scales of less than a thousandth of a millimeter.

In related news, Glenn Reynolds just had a nine minute orgasm. He's expected to fully recover within three months.

Via Allah, who's guest blogging at Michelle Malkin's.

Posted by: Ace at 11:39 AM | Comments (15)
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Backlash?

This week’s tensions over immigration reform literally caught fire in the East Valley on Thursday when students raised a Mexican flag over Apache Junction High School — and then other students yanked it down and burned it.

“I know (they) shouldn’t have burned the Mexican flag,” said Jacob Stewart, a 16-year-old sophomore. “I heard it was raised above the American flag and that just irked me.”

Posted by: Ace at 11:10 AM | Comments (45)
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...due to a dispute over how much it should cost to light this big gal up:

A woman whose 457-pound body sat in a morgue for more than a month during a dispute over the cost of her cremation will be cremated within the next few days, officials said Thursday.

Charlotte Ann Blue died Feb. 6, but she wasn't immediately cremated because Dallas County and the crematorium it contracts with disagreed over the extra dollar per pound charged for bodies weighing more than 300 pounds.

Blue's son, Sam Roberts, said he believed his mother had been cremated under a county indigent plan until he called to get a death certificate.

"That's when I was informed that for the last two months she's been sitting in the deep freeze at the medical examiner's office because the crematorium that does business for the county says, 'Oh well, she's too big (and) too fat," he told WFAA-TV on Wednesday.

Thanks to Craig.

Posted by: Ace at 11:06 AM | Comments (31)
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They didn't need to a study to confirm this. Women tell me this all the time.

I could further tell you that most women say "I have a boyfriend" or "Go away or I'm calling the bouncer." 75% of women, moreover, like to express themselves in nonverbal ways, such as with chemical mace.

Anyway.

They are apparently more sexually liberated than ever before - but most women still believe one-night stands are immoral, research shows.
Forty years after the dawn of women's lib, British females judge friends and acquaintances who indulge in casual sex as being 'needy' and 'deviant'.

The study of women's attitudes towards sex revealed that women of all ages believe that sex outside marriage or a committed relationship is wrong.

Those who have one-night stands do so out of desperation or drunkenness.

...

Researcher Dr Sharon Hinchliff asked 46 women aged 20 to 83 about their views on sex.

Ninety per cent thought casual sex was wrong and only 10 per cent admitted having a one night stand.

Women of all ages were judgmental of those who sleep around, with some of the younger women being harsher than the pensioners.

The women also had double-standards, with some of those who had had one night stands in the past saying it was wrong for others to do so.

Women have one standard for themselves and another for other people? There's the real bombshell in this study.

Posted by: Ace at 11:03 AM | Comments (39)
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The Daily News headlines its kissy-ass story:

After 2 years, Air America grows progressively upbeat

Grows? Its ratings and availability are shrinking. How is that "growing"?

And as for upbeat... well, whatever.

Radio Equalizer notes the network's ratings continue to be in the toilet. And that it only remains in operation because of cash infusions from wealthy liberal benefactors, like George Soros.

This presents an interesting question which has always been vague: If campaign finance laws say you can't make donations exceeding a certain amount on behalf of a candidate or party, isn't it, you know, kind of illegal or something to donate to a "media company" which is not a company in the sense it actually turns a profit or ever has any hope of paying your loans back? Isn't that just laundering campaign donations through a front?

I remember this being discussed when the McCain-Feingold bill was being debated. A guy from the NRA (I think) said that if the only way to get an opinion out is via the "media exception," the NRA would just start publishing its own free magazines and newsletters, and producing and disseminating "documentaries," and maybe even start a cable channel. As a "media organization," they could then support whatever candidate with as much speech as they liked, just like the New York Times.

That's a sham, in the sense that it seeks to disguise the actual intent of the operation. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing; if you can circumvent a bad law by adhering to its letter but not its spirit, that's a good thing. But I think a judge would probably rule such an effort a subterfuge and call it a disguised campaign donation.

But no one will ever look into Air America. George Soros, being a good leftist, is permitted to subvert campaign finance laws in a way the NRA never would be allowed.

Posted by: Ace at 09:37 AM | Comments (25)
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It reminds me of that Steve Martin bit where he said it was some custom, somewhere, to divorce a wife to say "I break with you, I break with you, I break with you," and then throw poop on the woman's shoes.

In Sharia law, a man can immediately divorce his wife -- no judges needed! -- by simply saying "talaq, talaq, talaq." A Muslim man said this in his sleep, after taking sleeping pills, but he says he didn't mean it and the couple want to stay together.

Local religious authorities may require them, per Sharia, to remarry, but only after a three month separation, during which time they won't be allowed to see each other freely (as women can't see a man not a family member without a chaperone or whatever).

I don't know if I buy the couples' story -- if he just said it in his sleep, why does everyone seem to know about it? -- but it is yet another strange custom, made further strange by the insistence that it take full effect, even though the man is now calling "take-backs."

Posted by: Ace at 09:25 AM | Comments (18)
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Raising money for some candidate, he uses the "more cowbell" to indicate money flowing in.

Hmmmm... where have I seen that before?

So, between six thousand open threads, he occasionally includes some "original content," which he found someplace else.

Millions of readers a month. Sheesh.

Thanks to Chris.

Posted by: Ace at 09:15 AM | Comments (16)
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