Just saying, if you're planning on being in the media business for the rest of your life, as Samarra Cindy obviously is, just try to firm up a little. Do a few squats, a few deep knee bends. Maybe cut back on the Combos.

Then again, politics is just show business for ugly people.

Thanks to johnd01.

Posted by: Ace at 06:07 PM | Comments (44)
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They're coming apart at the seams. The Republican Party is fractious, certainly, but the liberals just can't seem to agree on whether they should destroy the Democratic Party slowly or rapidly.

Abortion rights leader Kate Michelman is thinking of jumping into the Senate race in Pennsylvania as an independent.

Michelman is appalled by Democratic Party leadersÂ’ selection of anti-abortion candidate Bob Casey Jr. as their choice to try to unseat two-term Republican Sen. Rick Santorum.

For Michelman and other supporters of the Supreme CourtÂ’s 1973 Roe v. Wade abortion decision, the final straw came in late January when Casey endorsed President BushÂ’s Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito.

Analyst and pollster Terry Madonna at Franklin & Marshall College in Pennsylvania said, “If she runs as an independent, they’ve given Santorum a significant boost.” He added, “This is a very interesting dilemma liberal Democrats have right now.”

Michelman said that if she joined the Senate race, sheÂ’d do so as an independent since she couldnÂ’t meet TuesdayÂ’s filing deadline to compete in the May 16 Democratic primary.

To run as an independent Michelman would need to get the signatures of 67,000 registered voters by Aug. 1.

I'm sure the Pa GOP would be more than happy to help her.

This would be a tiny help for Santorum. But I don't think the Democrats are nearly as pro-choice as Michelman imagines. Hell, I don't even think most are that pro-choice. They're about as pro-choice as I am: conflictedly so.

It's a cultural thing more than an actual issue thing. They just want their guy in there. And Michelman won't change that.

Posted by: Ace at 06:04 PM | Comments (9)
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Yes, that's right. You're about to agree wholeheatedly with a Marxist newsletter called "Workers' Liberty:"

The liberal Establishment, including the liberal newspapers, have responded to the still-burning political explosion ignited by the Danish cartoons showing Muhammad in a downright disgraceful way. They have turned tail on the traditions of freedom of religion and freedom to have no religion, of free speech and a free press, which in less demanding times they claim as their own and are ever ready to denounce Marxists for allegedly not accepting or defending.

Very little of the political explosion triggered by the Danish cartoons seems to have been spontaneous, raw religious outrage. It has been fomented, organised, directed by organised political movements and leaders of political Islam, including the Saudi government, and, in Syria and Lebanon, by the quasi-secularised Syrian BaÂ’thist government.

From Karachi to London, to Baghdad, to Ramallah, the cartoons have been deliberately seized upon and used to organise a gigantic world-wide roll-call of the forces of Islamic reaction. The response has been impressive. And, as it was meant to be, intimidating. It has certainly intimidated the liberals.

The cartoons have been the focus for every grievance, resentment, imaginary insult or real injury which any part of the Muslim world feels against the non-Islamic world - against the modern world of globalised capitalism in general, and against American imperialism in particular.

Despite the presence of many grievances in the general mobilisation, the focus on the cartoons has made it a single movement with one upfront demand - that the non-Muslim world should obey the prohibition of (the majority of) Muslims against portraying (or against insulting) Muhammad.

That people everywhere should obey a rule of a religion they all reject, and some may abhor. That those who refuse to obey the Islamic edit should be punished and penalised by non-Islamic governments.

Western governments who do not want to have their embassies burned down, or their trade with Islamic countries boycotted and ruined, or the lives of their nationals in Muslim countries placed in jeopardy, had better make themselves enforcers for the rules of a religion which their citizens do not accept. That is the demand.

They must curb free speech and free expression. Curb the freedom to criticism and mock and outspokenly denounce religion - the freedom from which over centuries most of our freedoms have been spun and consolidated.

And how have the bourgeois-democratic governments and liberal newspapers and TV systems responded? In the face of an outcry which - whatever energies other than religious feelings have fuelled it - has been a vast outpouring of religious zealotry and bigotry, they have apologised!

They have scurried and run.

Thanks to Craig.

Posted by: Ace at 05:44 PM | Comments (20)
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MVP, RIP. Dead of a stroke.

Thanks to Craig.

Link Fixed.

Posted by: Ace at 05:06 PM | Comments (20)
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Very sad:

Scientists are struggling to save the fast-disappearing bonobo, the gentle "hippie chimp" known for resolving squabbles through sex rather than violence.

Unfortunately, bonobos are prized by Congolese for their tasty meat, and many villagers who are illegally hunting the wiry, wizen-faced apes don't realize how close their prey is to extinction.

"Bonobos are an icon for peace and love, the world's 'hippie chimps,'" said Sally Coxe of the Washington-based Bonobo Conservation Initiative. "To let them die off would be a catastrophe."

The animals are known for greeting rival groups with genital handshakes and sensual body rubs. Bonobo spats are swiftly settled -- often with a French kiss and a quick round of sex.

You can read all about the plight of the bonobos in Bill Clinton's new book, The Coolest Fucking Monkeys In The Whole Fucking World.

Thanks to Uncle Jefe.

Posted by: Ace at 04:13 PM | Comments (34)
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Do we any longer have a choice?:

U.S. military and intelligence officials tell ABC News that they have caught shipments of deadly new bombs at the Iran-Iraq border.

They are a very nasty piece of business, capable of penetrating U.S. troops' strongest armor.

...

U.S. officials say roadside bomb attacks against American forces in Iraq have become much more deadly as more and more of the Iran-designed and Iran-produced bombs have been smuggled in from the country since last October.

"I think the evidence is strong that the Iranian government is making these IEDs, and the Iranian government is sending them across the border and they are killing U.S. troops once they get there," says Richard Clarke, former White House counterterrorism chief and an ABC News consultant. "I think it's very hard to escape the conclusion that, in all probability, the Iranian government is knowingly killing U.S. troops."

U.S. intelligence officials say Iran is using the bombs as a way to drive up U.S. casualties in Iraq but without provoking a direct confrontation.

I think it's time to dust off the target lists for the Iranian intelligence services and Revolutionary Guards barracks.

Posted by: Ace at 04:03 PM | Comments (42)
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Pardon me for going overboard, but yeah, no one watched, really.

Why? I think this guy may be on to something.

Cates pointed out that the films nominated for best picture simply weren't the ones viewers actually went to see last year. "All five of the best picture nominees together, I don't think (their box office) goes to $250 million. 'Narnia' goes to $800 million by itself," Cates said.

I imagine the ratings are okay when films people have seen, or at least are interested in seeing (Gladiator (which sucked, I know), RotK, Silence of the Lambs, Titanic) are much-nominated, and low when the nominees are all independent crap like Breaking the Waves that no one has seen or wants to see.

Hollywood has to decide what it's selling. Is it selling entertainment -- and not just dreck entertainment, but well-crafted smart entertainment -- or is it selling social messages?

Few will drop $10+ to watch a social message.

The Oscars are a big night for promotion. Why are they so eager to promote what is not really their main stock in trade? I think it's to both attempt to influence public opinion and to assuage themselves that they're in a noble, important calling.

I think they'd be better off admiting they're selling entertainment and just offer a few token nominations to all the well-meaning but boring independent films they so often honor now.

Oh, yeah, and on clips? ONE CLIP MONTAGE per show. For crying out loud, there are only so many variations -- musicals, film noir, epics, war movies, etc. There's no need for three or four of these per year.

And all the clips are always the same, anyhow. If it's a montage of musical clips, we're just going to see Dancing in the Rain for the six billionth time. They defend this by saying people have to be "reminded" of the impact movies have had on them, but 1, if we have to be reminded, obviously we weren't impacted all that much and 2, we don't have to be reminded every frigging year.

Posted by: Ace at 01:29 PM | Comments (54)
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Nope, doesn't sound like terrorism to me:

A University of North Carolina graduate from Iran, accused of running down nine people on campus to avenge the treatment of Muslims, said at a hearing Monday that he was “thankful for the opportunity to spread the will of Allah.”

Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar was accused of driving a sport utility vehicle through The Pit, a popular campus gathering spot, injuring nine people Friday. None of the victims was seriously hurt.

Police Chief Derek Poarch said Taheri-azar told investigators he intentionally hit people to “avenge the deaths of Muslims around the world.”

Good Lord All Mighty, this country has become so Islamophobic that an Islamist "student" from Iran can't even rent an SUV, plow into a gathering of infidels, express his gratitude at being afforded the opportunity to murder polytheists according to "Allah's will," and "avenge the deaths of Muslims around the world" by striking at the heart of the American Military-College-Basketball complex without reactionaries claiming it's "terrorism" of some sort.

He says "the truth" will be his lawyer. I just called "the truth," who assured me, "No way, I ain't going anywhere near that."

Listen to the 911 call at the link. The arrogance, and coolness about the attempted murder, is astonishing. He mentions he hit fifteen people without a hint of remorse or emotion at all. It's like he's reporting a cable outage.

"It's to punish the government of the United States for their actions around the world."

Not terrorism, though. Terrorism is the use of violence to achieve political ends, and that so clearly doesn't apply here.

But remember: the most pressing problem in America is anti-Muslim violence.

He gives his phone number on the call (uncensored). Not that I imagine that will be working anymore.

It's like Blade Runner. They only look human. Voight-Kamff them, and you'll find their sick mechanical programming allows of absolutely no empathy for their fellow human beings.

Posted by: Ace at 12:51 PM | Comments (38)
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Viagra is a more important accidental discovery than... penicillin?

And what the hell is SILLY PUTTY doing on the list? Everyone's heard that story, but does that make it important?

I didn't know that being able to grab an image of Hagar the Horrible and then crush it into a ball of clay and stick it into your sister's hair rated up there with X-rays and the microwave.

Thanks to Craig.

Posted by: Ace at 12:31 PM | Comments (10)
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Oh. Dear. Lord.

Are eleven-year-old retards even permitted to file suit in federal court?

With his goofy smile, boyish charm, dulcet tones and strongly espoused Christian beliefs, Clay Aiken has won legions of female fans and sold millions of records since starring in the 2003 series of American Idol.

But now a group of disillusioned "Claymates" have lodged a complaint with the US Federal Trade Commission after a less straightforward version of Aiken emerged in the tabloid press.

The nine women claim that his record company, RCA, and its parent group, Sony/BMG, duped them with their marketing and promotional campaigns into buying the 27-year-old's music and merchandise.

The former fans said that they were also considering a class-action lawsuit for damages.

The precedent-setting case will be watched with concern by other entertainers whose squeaky-clean public personas do not always match the reality of their private lives.

No, it will not be "watched with concern," because it's just idiotic. I can't imagine that our very permissive judges -- who used to toss out baseless lawsuits as a matter of habit; now they're inclined to let them proceed to see if the complaintants can develop any evidence or any possible legal theory of a wrong sometime over a 2 year period of intrusive discovery -- will let this silly shit fly.

Plus, it's attacking a gay guy, which they don't like.

How moronic.

Guys? His music always sucked. If you want to file suit, file suit against your parents, schools, and local cultures for allowing you to grow up with such a woefully underdeveloped sense of taste.

Thanks to cutaway.

Background (NSFW): The guy who claims to have had sex with Clay Aiken was interviewed on Howard Stern a few weeks ago.

Not safe for work, and a little boring, to tell you the truth. I'll spill the best joke past the jump. The joke isn't safe for work, either.
more...

Posted by: Ace at 12:10 PM | Comments (115)
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