Yeah, you've seen the "tasteful" front side of it.

If you want, you can see the not-quite-as-tasteful back of it. Not entirely safe for work, but then, it's just a beautiful sculpture of Britney Spears on all fours as her baby begins "crowning."

It puts me in the mind of H.R. Geiger, actually.

In related news, corporate toady Burke was quoted as saying, "Would you listen to yourselves? Do you realize how paranoid you sound? I did not lock Ripley and Newt in the Medbay with the "Moment of Birth" Britney Spears sculpture. It's sad, really." He then applied more fake sweat to his upper lip to appear less convincing.

Thanks to Dogblog, who links this video (old, I'm sure) of a cute little pooch who lost her front legs. So she simply began walking -- completely upright -- on her hind legs.

Both freaky and adorable, like Laurie Petty used to be.

Posted by: Ace at 09:29 AM | Comments (32)
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Weisenheimers go to an all-women's college and get signatures for a petition to "put a stop to women's sufferage any way they can."

You have to admit-- "women's sufferage" sounds like a bad thing.

Wait, strike that, edit it. Is a bad thing.

Posted by: Ace at 09:18 AM | Comments (23)
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Matching his lowest ever. And that's a FoxNews Opinion Dynamics poll, too.

Why? Well, a lot of reasons. Scandals and partisan attacks, of course, which have been nicking him up for years. Oil prices are up again. The war in Iraq isn't quite won. And no one is happy with him on immigration.

Kausfiles once wrote about Bush as a transformative, history-making President, a long while ago. But he wondered-- would people ever grow tired of all that transformative history-making? Would they ever just get weary of Bush, and want to go back to a caretaker presidency like Clinton's?

I'm not sure if that's also a problem here or not. It's been a while since he's had a big piece of domestic agenda that wasn't controversial or even despised by half the public. The push for amnesty is his newest one, and no one, except hardcore lefties who hate him anyway, and Latinos, who only go 40% for Republicans, are really enthused about it.

Posted by: Ace at 08:47 AM | Comments (45)
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...beating ecomonists' forecasts.

Employers, in a springtime hiring burst, boosted payrolls by a sizable 211,000 in March and pushed the nation's unemployment rate down to 4.7 percent.

The latest snapshot, released by the Labor Department on Friday, suggested that an accelerating economic expansion is putting companies in the hiring mood, brightening prospects for job seekers.

Hiring gains were fairly widespread. Construction, financial activities, education and health care and government were among the sectors posting payroll gains. That help to blunt job losses in manufacturing and in the transportation industries.

The unemployment rate, which dropped from February's 4.8 percent, ended up matching January's jobless rate, which was the lowest in 4 1/2 years.

Employment was stronger in March than economists were expecting. Before the release of the report, they were forecasting a gain of 190,000 jobs and they said they believed the overall civilian jobless rate would hold steady.

And of course consumer confidence improved as well.

Polipundit notes that over two million jobs have been created in the past year. (Thanks to Andrew for that.)

A scene from George Bush and the
Raiders of the Lost Golden Cowbell.

Posted by: Ace at 08:33 AM | Comments (13)
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A recent photo shows the grave is still unmarked.

Cindy Sheehan's got a lot of problems on her hands, I guess. Last I heard, she was screaming, "We got motherfuckin' snakes!"

Posted by: Ace at 02:55 PM | Comments (60)
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...is on Snakes On A Blog.

Including parody posters, like "Chimps on a Blimp" and "A Dinosaur On A Donkey."

And this:

Thanks to Dave at Garfield Ridge, who has other funny stuff... like a video of college kids bursting into rooms to catch their dorm-mates "pleasuring themselves."

Posted by: Ace at 12:32 PM | Comments (39)
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A commenter says that that poster isn't real, although it's in such wide internet circulation it's become the movie's unofficial official poster.

Which means it's also, yes, old.

Francis the Great of Geek Empire assures me this film is real. As his evidence, he offers this "trailer" for this alleged "movie" Snakes on a Plane.

I'm still not convinced. Okay, it's not just a mere hoax. It could still be a very elaborate and costly hoax, one with actors hired for three days to film a "trailer" for a film that cannot possibly exist.

I'm sorry, but I find it more plausible to believe there's a giant conspiracy afoot to get me to believe in the possibility of a film called "Snakes On A Plane" than to accept there really is a film called "Snakes On A Plane."

Until I'm in the theater watching it -- and it lasts longer than five minutes before Ashton Kutcher shows up as Special Agent Hooker to announce to the camera, "You've all been punk'd!" -- I am still going with the "enormous conspiracy of lies" theory.

There cannot be a movie like this. Like the bizarre city of R'yleh, its cyclopean towers angled and twisted at strange geometries in the ocean's deepest glooms, the notion of a film called "Snakes On A Plane" offends the very laws of the orderly universe we've come to believe in.

I have it on good authority that watching this film, if it actually exists, like watching the suppressed transdimensional demonic play The King In Yellow, will cause the viewer to become murderously insane and possibly physically separate from this reality entirely.

Posted by: Ace at 12:22 PM | Comments (32)
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I haven't posted about Snakes On A Plane because I knew Dave would say "It's old." It hasn't come out yet, but it's old. In fairness, Dave's been on it since it was in development.

If you don't know, the movie is about Samuel Jackson, playing a cop trying to transport a key witness on a plane. And the bad guys release crates full of snakes on the plane. So it's called, yes, Snakes On a Plane.

I think someone's having fun with Debbie Schlussel, but she claims this is the official movie poster for the film:

Now, I've been very naive about stuff, but even I have to call shenanigans on this being the real poster for the movie.

But, if it is, it's the coolest movie poster ever.

Instant catchphrase-- "We got motherfuckin' snakes!" You can use that in pretty much any situation. It can mean everything from "bummer" to "f'n' A, right, man!"

In related news, Cynthia McKinney just released an "apology" in which she allowed that regretted the "misunderstanding" and, furthermore, "We got motherfuckin' snakes!"

By The Way: I have thought everything to do with this movie was a hoax when I first heard of it. When Dave linked it in the comments here, I thought it was all just photoshopping, some sort of Internet in-joke that people were all in. That a bunch of people were pretending, as a prank, that there was an upcoming film called "Snakes On A Plane."

It turns out it wasn't a prank. (At least, if it is a prank, no one's let me in on the joke yet, and they've done a hell of a job getting IMDB to list the prank.)

So... given that nothing about this movie seems remotely plausible, I guess that really could be the movie poster.

Posted by: Ace at 11:15 AM | Comments (46)
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Debbie Schlussel got an email from someone who says he attended Arabic language school with Carroll, and she says his bona fides check out.

She was very anti-American. I was actually shocked by her attitude, having never come across an American with such opinions. She was against the war and did not see America as being a force for good in the world.... She expressed satisfaction that I mistook her for Canadian saying she would prefer not being identified as American.

She was more than anti-war. She felt that America was culturally imperialist. She viewed the international success of American culture as being a way for America to impose its values on the world. She expressed the sort of opinions which you would hear from [Noam] Chomsky. It would be fair to say that she would be classified as somebody from the far left. I can not recall all the details of what she said, but I remember her saying that at the end of the day America was just another empire which would come hopefully to an end.

With regard to Israel, she despised the country with some venom, referring to the country as "that state." She was practically foaming at the mouth. She knew I was Jewish, and I felt quite shocked and vulnerable at the way she expressed herself about the country. It did cross my mind that she may have been anti-Semitic, though I prefer not to label people.

She was at her wits end with regard to Christian support in America for Israel and referred to the Bible as "that shit book" in regard to it being used as a reason for Israelis holding on to the land.

...

When she was kidnapped, I sent emails to the CS Monitor informing them of what I knew of her opinions. I felt that the information might aid them in presenting her as anti-war and hence save her life. Her opinions were so strongly expressed that I was in no doubt that the terrorists would free her. I can tell you honestly that the opinions she expressed in the video would strike me as being hers alone and I am not surprised that she was freed.

Yes, I'm sure that strongly held (and vicious) opinions like this never taint a reporter's story with bias. They went to journalism school for a year and a half, after all.

Thanks to Allah.

Posted by: Ace at 10:26 AM | Comments (58)
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More important news you won't hear about from Katie Couric.

A newly translated captured document follows. As Captain's Quarters notes, the translation must be verified, and I suppose its authenticity as well.

So it's not a smoking gun... yet.

But if it's authenticated, we can stop with the "no connection between Saddam and terrorism" nonsense now.

In the Name of God the Merciful The Compassionate
Top Secret

The Command of Ali Bin Abi Taleb Air Force Base

No 3/6/104

Date 11 March 2001

To all the Units

Subject: Volunteer for Suicide Mission

The top secret letter 2205 of the Military Branch of Al Qadisya on 4/3/2001 announced by the top secret letter 246 from the Command of the military sector of Zi Kar on 8/3/2001 announced to us by the top secret letter 154 from the Command of Ali Military Division on 10/3/2001 we ask to provide that Division with the names of those who desire to volunteer for Suicide Mission to liberate Palestine and to strike American Interests and according what is shown below to please review and inform us.

Air Brigadier General

Abdel Magid Hammot Ali

Commander of Ali Bin Abi Taleb Air Force Base

Air Colonel

Mohamad Majed Mohamadi.

Emphasis added.

Thanks to DDG.

Posted by: Ace at 10:05 AM | Comments (21)
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