Without a doubt, she could provide more comfort to the lepers than merely a good foot-washing.

Posted by: Ace at 07:56 AM | Comments (12)
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Not really safe for work. Well, that link just leads to Florida-Cracker, but her link isn't really safe for work. It's not quite sexual; it's just disturbingly macabre.

Basically: A lot of alternative-looking "grrls," apparently tired of being treated by men like so much meat, empower themselves by sticking big hooks in their backs and hang themselves from the ceiling. Like, um, meat.

So, we've got some lonely guys masturbating by hanging themselves by the neck, sometimes until death, and a bunch of obviously man-hatin' "grrls" hanging themselves by tenterhooks by their backfat.

Really, someone ought to start a service to introduce these people to each other. Maybe instead of hanging themselves by noose or meathook, they could, I don't know, have coffee together or something.

Posted by: Ace at 07:48 AM | Comments (14)
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As Malcontent notes, It's an ad campaign to appeal directly to Eric Cartman.

Posted by: Ace at 07:41 AM | Comments (7)
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David Caruso is beaming, of course. But previous shows beloved by foreign audiences have included Baywatch and, inexplicably, Hunter.

I think it's mostly due to the fact that foreign audiences enjoy a character not used to his full potential on the American show. For foreign markets, David Caruso's sunglasses are a magical, sentient being which speaks to him in a funny high-pitched Mexican accent, a little like Speedy Gonzales,always making silly wisecracks but occasionally helping solve a case. David Caruso is dubbed to have funny arguments with the sunglasses -- called "Poquito" -- and he takes them off whenever "Poquito" annoys him too much.

Episodes usually conclude with Caruso and Poquito debating life lessons that have been learned on the week's show. For example-- from a German-dubbed telecast from last month:

CARUSO: It just doesn't make sense... A father killing his own son out of jealousy.

POQUITO: Ayyyyyy... Dios Mio, life is loooo-co!

CARUSO: You can say that again, Poquito.

POQUITO: Si, I will. Dios Mio, life is looo-co!

CARUSO: Poquito, you're crazy, but you're my only friend.

(he takes off his sunglasses and puts them into his breast pocket, then pats them in a loving way as they walk down the beach)

POQUITO (voice muffled): Do you think, Senor, one day we will have a world without violence?

CARUSO: I hope so, Poquito. I hope so.

POQUITO: Mucho bueno! And now I am hungry. Let's get enciiiiii-ladas!

CARUSO (chuckles): Do you ever think about anything besides food?

POQUITO: But of course! I also think about tequiiiii-la!!!

CARUSO (puts sunglasses back on): Poquito, you incorrigible scamp. What would I do without you?

So, as you can see, it's a whole different sort of show.

Thanks to The Shadow.

Posted by: Ace at 07:21 AM | Comments (17)
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If true, then Bush hasn't been impeached, but Zarqawi has been. There is no joy in DUville today.

ABU MUSAB AL-ZARQAWI, the most feared commander in the Iraqi insurgency, may have been forced to surrender his leadership by rival groups, angered by his bloody tactics and the interference of foreign fighters in the Iraqi conflict.
According to Huthayfah Azzam, the son of Abdullah Azzam, al-ZarqawiÂ’s former mentor, the notorious commander of al-Qaeda in Iraq was stripped of his political duties at a meeting two weeks ago.

“The Iraqi resistance high command asked al-Zarqawi to give up his political role and replaced him with an Iraqi because of several mistakes,” said Mr Azzam in an interview with al-Arabiya, the Arabic news channel. “Al-Zarqawi’s role has been limited to military action,” he said.

[H]is tactics have alienated many Iraqis, even those sympathetic to the insurgency. Mr Azzam, whose father is known as the “prince of the Mujahidin”, said that he was accused of “creating an independent group” in Iraq, “making political mistakes” and hijacking the Iraqi insurgency for his own cause.

If the terrorists have more and more difficulty attacking American soldiers, which they seem to have, and they've decided to stop attacking Iraqi civilians, doesn't that mean the war is winding down?

In related news, Cynthia McKinney called a press conference and stated that Zarqawi was guilty only of "being a freedom fighter while swarthy." Danny Glover and Sting are organizing a concert in support of him.

Thanks to Allah.

Posted by: Ace at 06:51 AM | Comments (10)
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For the best, I think. The guy may have been demonized by the media, but, like Nixon, he gave them a knife and they twisted it with relish.

Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Tex.), a primary architect of the House Republican majority who became one of the most powerful and feared leaders in Washington, told House allies tonight that he will resign from the House rather than face a reelection fight that appears increasingly unwinnable.

The decision came just three days after his former deputy chief of staff, Tony C. Rudy, pleaded guilty to conspiracy and corruption charges, telling federal prosecutors of a criminal enterprise being run out of DeLay's leadership offices. Rudy's plea agreement did not implicate DeLay in any illegal activities, but by placing the influence-buying efforts of disgraced Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff directly in DeLay's operation, the former aide may have made an already difficult reelection bid all but out of reach.

DeLay, who turns 59 this Saturday, did not say precisely when he would step down, but under Texas law, he must either die, be convicted of a felony, or move out of his district to be removed from the November ballot. DeLay told Time magazine that he is likely to change his official residence to Alexandria, Va., by the end of May. He said he informed President Bush of his decision this afternoon.

The Washington Post sounds almost sad he didn't chose the "die" option.

Posted by: Ace at 06:28 PM | Comments (75)
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I'm really sorry about that, ummmm, inadvertant mislink.

I have no earthly idea how a lesbian porn link got on my computer. There must be some hacker putting dirty links up on my computer.

But honestly, I'm sorry about that, and sorry too about being away most of the day and not noticing the comments. I certainly didn't do it on purpose. It wasn't meant as some kind of joke or shock. It was just a mistake. I really apologize.

Thanks for fixing that, Laura.

Question... Is this a blog first, as far as anyone knows?

Posted by: Ace at 05:57 PM | Comments (37)
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Dave gets off a good rant.

Quoting the Hollywood Reporter:

Anything that is erotic has been banned in the United States," said the Dutch native. "Look at the people at the top (of the government). We are living under a government that is constantly hammering out Christian values. And Christianity and sex have never been good friends."

. . .

Scribe Nicholas Meyer, who was an uncredited writer on 1987's seminal sex-fueled cautionary tale "Fatal Attraction," agrees, noting that the genre's downfall coincides with the ascent of the conservative political movement.

"We're in a big puritanical mode," he said. "Now, it's like the McCarthy era, except it's not 'Are you a communist?' but 'Have you ever put sex in a movie?'"

Dave notes that it's not the government blocking these films from being made. They are being made. They're just not making money. Why?

Well, first of all, there are few truly "erotic" movies. Most non-porn movies that promise "erotic" content usually deliver very lame sexual posings that don't look anything like actual sex. When you have sex, do you vogue while doing it as if there's a still-photographer near your closet?

Besides that, non-porn depictions of sex aren't erotic unless they're done with skill and smarts, two commodities Hollywood seems to have less and less of.

And I've been wondering this since the first Basic Instinct-- if you want to see a dirty movie, why not just rent a porno? Why screw around with half-assed attempts at filmed sex? I think the first Basic Instinct only did well because porn still wasn't easily available in many parts of the country, and there was still a resistance to it. But by now it's pretty much mainstream -- most mom & pop video stores have a dirty-movie section in the back, which makes them the bulk of their profits -- and the Internet provides this sort of thing for free.

It's not that there's less sexual material in America now. It's that there's a hell of a lot more, and anyone who wants a dirty little thrill can get the real thing rather than watching a cheesy "erotic thriller" with a not-aging-terribly-well Sharon Stone.

Posted by: Ace at 01:26 PM | Comments (117)
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The New Editor links an interesting NYT piece about the Wealth Effect hitting China. As more enter the middle classes and factory workers demand higher wages, foreign factory operations are considering pulling up sticks and moving to still-cheaper labor markets, like Vietnam.

The China trade deficit may yet be solved, not through regulation, but through free trade itself.

Posted by: Ace at 01:15 PM | Comments (11)
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But Newsweek and many others don't think America is ready for a 9/11 movie.

American Barbarian wants to know why the media doesn't mind shaking America up when it comes to gay cowboys, but suddenly is the defender of the Civil Peace when it comes to depictions of the horror of 9/11.

Link fixed by lauraw.
Sorry.

Posted by: Ace at 11:03 AM | Comments (82)
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