While I tend to believe, with Bill Maher, that "all rumors are true," and so I think a military probe will find the Marines guilty of something pretty blameworthy, Confederate Yankee trains his sights on John F'n' Murtha.

Good point: Murtha is accusing the Marines of murdering the alleged civilians "in cold blood" -- which, he notes, is defined as "with premeditation" and "without provocation or emotional heat-of-the-moment."

Even if the Marines exhibited poor judgment in opening fire on that house, surely they did not do so "in cold blood."

But this preening c**ks**ker wants to bask in the soft glow of Chris Matthews' golden locks, so he makes the most vicious allegations against his "beloved Marines."

Right. Beloved Marines. And if this egomaniac needs a little attention, he's willing to accuse them of cold-blooded murder.

Similar point at Taranto, who notes something else, too.

People like John Murtha, John Kerry, and Michael Moore -- yes, all three -- accuse our troops of the most heinous acts imaginable. When someone dares to note they're flinging around wild accusations that sound -- to unnuanced ears, mind you -- a bit less than patriotic, they all claim "Oh dear no, I support our psycho-murderin' troops 100%; it's not their faults they're walking murder-machines, after all. It's the Bush Administration's fault for turning them into bloodthirsty meat-robots."

They accuse our troops of the worst sort of crimes, without any substantiation, and they claim they're really trying to help the troops by criticizing the Administration that has made them into terrorists.

And of course-- the media buys this claim every single time.

Posted by: Ace at 12:52 PM | Comments (110)
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The ad recut into the world's least effective Mentos commercial.

Posted by: Ace at 10:46 AM | Comments (23)
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It's a terrific, substantive solution that I'm sure the Europeans will jump at.

Their proposal?

1) Iran will continue enriching uranium on an "industrial scale" (i.e., a shitload of uranium being enriched to weapons-grade level, rather than limited testing, as they claim to be doing now).

2) But, in exchange, they offer to demand that the West help them achieve this industrial-level enrichment.

3) Further, as a bonus concession, if we do not help them do what we do not want them to do, they will do what we do not want them to do without our help, as they are, in fact, already doing now.

Wow! It's a deal so good you'd have to be some sort of crazy apocalyptic-messianic schizophrenic to refuse!

Think I'm kidding? Hit the link. That's their offer, Chief.

And Ahmadinejad further offered the sort of nuanced maniacal-Muslim diplomacy we've come to love:

"Those who get sad at the progress and happiness of others are suffering from mental and psychological problems, so they should find a way to cure themselves," the student news agency ISNA quoted Ahmadinejad as saying in a speech.

Posted by: Ace at 10:41 AM | Comments (17)
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Gets really funny at the "Organizational Overview" part.

Thanks to Hubs and Spokes.

Posted by: Ace at 10:09 AM | Comments (6)
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I mean the review is great, not that it says the film is great.

Really, the review had me when it called the whole story "retarded." He didn't have to go on to say:

The madcap race from clue to clue would be fun if the clues and puzzles were interesting, but they seem to be on about the level of the puzzles and riddles that appear in the Magic Ink books your parents would give to you on long car trips.

I'm going to read this book tonight, then see the movie. I love bad books and bad movies. Some movies -- The Avengers, Batman & Robin, First Knight -- achieve a level of incompetence so perfect the films become true camp, which is to say, unintentional camp (as opposed to deliberate camp, as in Mars Attacks, which is just stupid and boring).

It seems like Akiva Goldman, Tom Hanks, and Ron Howard have created a delightful bon-bon of horrifically inept here.

I must see it.

But first I must read it. I'm told it will take me three hours.

Ohhh, This Sounds Good: At Hubs & Spokes:

Several whistles instead of applause were all that greeted the end of Ron Howard's 125-million-dollar film, and worse than that, the 2,000-strong audience even burst out laughing at the movie's key moment.

A lot of reviewers are pointing out the extreme mismatch between what the movie really is -- an absurdly lurid pulpy potboiler -- and what the movie imagines itself to be -- an imporant and high-minded exegis on man's search for knowledge, or something gay like that.

Anyone see Saharra? It was a dopey romp based on Clive Cussler's sub-Tom-Clancy-level adventure books, but the movie knew that. And so what it delivered was some surprisingly good jackass fun. (Although, really, I could have done without the enormous solar-energy death machine at the end.)

This movie seems ponderously self-important, a bit of stupidity mistaken, Chauncey Gardner like, for cleverness and wisdom.

It sounds amazing.

Posted by: Ace at 10:05 AM | Comments (59)
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LauraW (banned) sent me this earlier. It's some kind of template for creating your own "Bollywood" (Indian goofball musical romance) movie. It sounds like fun, but, of course, damned if I can view anything that requires Flash or Shockwave, no matter how many times I download it.

Everyone seems to be having fun with it, though.

Posted by: Ace at 09:01 AM | Comments (29)
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I seem to have trouble keeping the sidebar stuff and main blog stuff separated. Sorry.

Posted by: Ace at 08:23 AM | Comments (28)
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John Murtha just cried a little.

Posted by: Ace at 08:16 AM | Comments (14)
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Opening:

As Republicans have become increasingly nervous about whether they will be able to maintain control of the House in the midterm elections, they have resorted to the straw-man strategy of identifying a parade of horrors to come if Democrats gain the majority. Among these is the assertion that I, as the new chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, would immediately begin impeachment proceedings against President Bush.

I will not do that.

Closing:

So, rather than seeking impeachment, I have chosen to propose comprehensive oversight of these alleged abuses. The oversight I have suggested would be performed by a select committee made up equally of Democrats and Republicans and chosen by the House speaker and the minority leader.

The committee's job would be to obtain answers -- finally. At the end of the process, if -- and only if -- the select committee, acting on a bipartisan basis, finds evidence of potentially impeachable offenses, it would forward that information to the Judiciary Committee. This threshold of bipartisanship is appropriate, I believe, when dealing with an issue of this magnitude.

"Bipartisan," meaning the committee is packed with the most liberal moonbats and they have a majority.

So, there you go.

Thanks to Jack Straw.

Just kidding. Thanks to DDG.

Related-- Nancy Pelosi Promises GOP "You'll Love Being In the Majority:" She too promises "bipartisanship," claiming bipartisan ship is very, very important to her.

Funny. I've never really got that "bipartisan" vibe coming off this woman.

Posted by: Ace at 07:39 AM | Comments (60)
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The horror. The horror.

Hmmm... a face made for radio, a voice made for blogging, a body made for modeling women's junior-petite sizes.

You'd think that with all that crazy positively sick blog-money rolling in he could afford to dress better than a guy who's heading off to a day's work of hanging around in a 7-Eleven parking begging for Slim Jim money.

Goldstein had worries.

Related: Pakistan's Cross-Dressing TV Star: Two incidents constitute a trend.

Thanks to Craig for that.

Posted by: Ace at 07:15 AM | Comments (20)
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