Sounds like my kind of line-up.

Posted by: Feisty at 05:17 PM | Comments (10)
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A funny, slick hiphop video celebrating the joy of hanging out with Bob Saget.

Those of us with functioning sound on our pc's will learn that Bob rolls blunts, is hung like a farm animal, and steps up to 50 Cent and DMX. He's the "Illest Motherf***** in a Cardigan Sweater".

Obviously, there's profanity.

Posted by: steve_in_hb at 01:19 PM | Comments (18)
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I wonder if the judge will even hear this case. I hope to God not.

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A man who was beaten by employees of a store he was trying to rob is now suing.

Police say Dana Buckman entered the AutoZone in Rochester, New York, last July, brandished a semi-automatic pistol and demanded cash.

That's when employees Eli Crespo and Jerry Vega beat him with a pipe and held Buckman at bay with his own gun.

Now Buckman is suing the auto parts store and the two employees who beat him, claiming they committed assault and battery and intentionally inflicted emotional distress.

Buckman, while wetting his pants, whined that the employees had the audacity to beat him 'after he'd already left the store.' No charges were filed against Eli and Jerry for their determination to beat the dude with their large pipes; however, all the remaining employees of Auto Zone were charged with misdemeanor battery for excessively high-fiving and man-hugging the heroes and causing them to miss work due to 'hands and backs that really smarted for a couple of days.'

Posted by: Feisty at 12:57 PM | Comments (26)
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Ansar al-Sunnah, an Iraqi terrorist group loosely associated with al-Quaida, posted a new beheading video on the Internet. No mention of al-Zarqawi is made, but the message is apparent: We'll just keep going on acting like thuggish nutjobs until you kill us too! Shocking, I know.

The video — as grisly as any the al-Qaida in
Iraq leader issued — was clearly designed to quash hopes that the Sunni-dominated insurgency might change tactics by ending attacks on Shiite civilians and institutions, especially the police.

Fellow Sunni insurgent groups sent condolences for al-Zarqawi in Internet messages Saturday and warned Sunnis not to cooperate with the Iraqi government, an apparent call for unity three days after U.S. forces killed the terror leader in a targeted airstrike.

al-Zarqawi hit the web HARD from Hell yesterday to receive said condolences, but was noticeably frustrated when his AOL connection only connected at 18.8 K and he was unable to view the beheading video.

"And this damn computer has no sound either!" he screamed as another in a long line of perpetual backdrafts blew in from a carelessly opened door.

With its gruesome killings and militants chanting "Allahu Akbar", or "God is Great," the 15-minute video illustrates the depth of Shiite-Sunni rivalries.

It shows three men in military uniform, sitting on the ground with their hands bound behind their backs in a small concrete room with gunmen standing around them.

Under questioning, the men say they are members of the "Wolf Brigade," a special Iraqi police commando unit that Sunnis accuse of being a front for Shiite militiamen who kill Sunni Arabs.

"They (the Sunnis) were beheaded by those who took and detained them," one of the three says. Next the video shows the three captives lying on the ground outdoors. A militant sharpens a knife before he, with the help of others, beheads the men one by one.

At the end of the tape, the group warns Iraqis against joining the security forces: "Otherwise, you will live in terror until we eliminate you and your fate will be in Hell."

Ninety-thousand Iraqi police have been trained as of April 28, 2006.

Posted by: Feisty at 12:35 PM | Comments (12)
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Interesting:

"Smart Dust" is basically very miniaturized electronic devices. This is similar to stuff like RFID, smart cards, EZ Pass and those rice grain size tracking devices you can have injected into your pets. But Smart Dust takes this all to a new level by being small enough to be disguised as dirt, the kind you can pick up in your shoes or clothing. Each bit of Smart Dust can be given a unique serial number that, when hit with an "interrogation signal" from troops on the ground, or aircraft overhead, is broadcast back. Some forms of Smart Dust are believed to be in use in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's also believed that Smart Dust played a role in the recent death of al Qaeda leader Abu Musab al Zarqawi.

I don't know. Sounds fake. But whatever. Apparently Iraqis have heard of it and call it "magic dust." Sometimes it's almost as good for an enemy to think you have an incredible capability as it is to actually have it.

Thanks to steve_in_hb and Influence Peddler, who's trolling for a nanotech Instalanche.

Posted by: Ace at 09:48 AM | Comments (40)
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I'm not sure where I stand on this.

On the one hand, we have one of these media-savvy Iraqis coming forward with somewhat ludicrous allegations of troops beating a guy to death who might have provided great intelligence were he kept alive.

On the other hand, if it were true, it would be sweeeet.

Did I say sweet? I mean so gob-smackingly vile it fills me with "heart-ache."

On second thought, let's go back to "sweet."

The Therapist ups the ante in the ludicrous allegations department, with an appalling, disgusting report that Zarqawi was actually killed on the autopsy table.

As questions arise concerning the last few moments of Al Qeida leader Abu Musab Al Zarqawi, another anonymous source is claiming that American forces may have performed a preemptive autopsy on the slain terrorist, and removed his vital organs while he was still alive.

"Sure, the overall accusation seems absurd," said one executive inside CBS News. "But we have to vet everything, so that we can validate ourselves as the least trusted network in America."

This is your America, Mr. Bush. Oh, and fire Don Rumsfield, and allow gays to marry.

I've been thinking about the Baltimore Sun's charge of "inappropriate glee" at Zarqawi's death from the media. For one thing, of course, it's absurd. Apart from some American outlets that aren't afraid to say they're on America's side, the media has been working overtime to deflate the victory, not exult in it.

I don't watch the MSM anymore, but I'm remembering the ashen, shaken, funereal faces of Peter Jennings and Judy Woodruff and the rest reporting the sad news of the fall of Baghdad. Can't imagine they've suddenly all gone on happy pills.

But even if it's true-- would the Baltimore Sun castigate "inappropriate glee" in eliminating a form of cancer? Cervical cancer can now be effectively immunized against its major cause, HPV. Do we really need "balance" on the question of whether it's good to eliminate cancer from the world? Is there really a credible pro-cancer political movement?

There will be more people alive due to the eventual eradication of this particular scourge. That's a good thing, right? More people alive = good, right?

Same with Zarqawi. There will be more human beings not blown up, beheaded, maimed, and terrified due to the 500-lb. innoculation devices dropped upon this cancer. More people alive = good, right?

Or wrong?

The fact that he thought he had some divine mandate to murder hardly changes the utilitarian math. More people alive is good, whatever he may have believed. The media did not, if I remember correctly, attempt to provide "balance" and "context" upon the capture of the BTK killer. That guy had some bad wiring too, and he also took delight in murder and mayhem. But we don't "contextualize" the fact that his arrest results in more uninterrupted human life just because he had his own point of view and agenda in killing people.

So, with Zarqawi alive-- more people dead. With Zarqawi dead-- more people alive.

Sheesh, you don't even have to get into pesky, trogolodytic moral judgments about it. It's just a strict, amoral utilitarian caclulation, no "Christofascist" belief system required. Spock wouldn't have trouble making this call. Neither would HAL, for Pete's sake. Why does our supposedly logical media have difficulty with the uncontroversial proposition that fewer murders is a good thing?

Posted by: Ace at 09:42 AM | Comments (47)
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Galactic Pizza, located at the trendy corner of Lake and Lyndale in Minneapolis' Uptown is a springboard for fledgling superheroes. It's also a front for the top secret location of the secret underground lair of the Midwest Division of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle^TM Crusaders. Shh...Don't tell.

MINNEAPOLIS Cameron Evans suits up in superhero garb as part of his job, but he may never have guessed that his alter ego, "Luke Pie-Rocker," would save someone's day.

Teresa Skarman was walking home Tuesday night when a purse snatcher grabbed her red leather bag.

The 55-year-old grocery store bagger screamed for help and Evans -- sporting orange tights, black boots and cape -- chased the mugger. A delivery man for Galactic Pizza, Evans tailed the robber for blocks, until two bystanders helped corner the crook in an alley. They ended up letting him go in exchange for the purse.

Luke Pie-Walker: Ace of Spades Lifestyle^TM Crusader.

Posted by: Feisty at 08:02 AM | Comments (15)
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It's just so barbaric to take pleasure in the death of a man who murdered a thousand or more innocent people.

The New York Post's Christianist headline? Evil Zarqawi Blown To Hell.

Evil. Hell. They're not even trying to hide their Christofascist agenda.

This is America's shame.

Please use this thread to express your disgust at being an American.

Thanks to Ryan.

Posted by: Ace at 10:27 PM | Comments (61)
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Tiger Hawk with a conspiracy theory that isn't... oh, what's the proper term? batshit lunatic crazy.

Whenever negotiations among the Americans, the Shia, the Kurds and the Iranians have threatened to reduce the collective Sunni position, the Sunnis have played the al-Zarqawi card and literally blown something or someone up.

It is the only reliable card that they have had to play, and they have played it often and to great effect. The Sunnis have also known that if their position within the new Iraqi government is to be formalized and cemented, they would have to rein in al-Zarqawi and his jihadist allies. If they do not, there was no deal.

It strikes us as far more than a coincidence that within hours of the confirmation of al-Zarqawi's death, the Iraqi Parliament put the finishing touches on the new Iraqi government.

Of course, the last members of the cabinet were already set before the bombing, but of course it might have been intelligence offered up days ago that preceeded the deal.

True? Who knows. Either way, a loathsome cancer has been carved out of the body humanity.

Thanks to Jim W.

More Skulduggery: The purported snitch who snatched Zarqawi had his confession of terrorism broadcast on Jordanian TV a few weeks ago. Dan Riehl thinks this doesn't make sense.

If this guy really was the snitch, wouldn't Zarqawi have been on high alert, knowing he was in Jordanian hands and talking? Makes little sense that he would spend 18 hours in his safe house, when his practice had been to spend no more than 12 hours in one place at one time, if he knew someone with the goods on him was talking.

Riehl speculates he this Karbouly feller might not have been the snitch at all. But now that all of Al Qaeda is wondering who the rat in their house is, everyone's saying, "Oh, don't worry about it, it's just that guy you already know about. Keep on keepin' on."

And, as it turns out, our friendly friends at the Guardian have named the person who might have been the real snitch:

The Guardian and WaPo supply names: the former says the key tipster was a deputy named Kassim al-Ani who was arrested three days ago while the latter claims the breakthrough came last month when Ziad Khalaf al-Kerbouly, another deputy, was caught.

Three days ago? Well, if he was arrested three days ago, he would have more current information about Zarqawi; Zarqawi would not necessarily know he'd been caught (too soon to realize he'd gone missing); and it would explain why Zarq was zapped a couple of days ago rather than a couple of weeks ago.

So maybe ABC News was actually on America's side in fingering Karbouly as the informant, as he might not have been the informant at all.

That means that the Guardian may have named the actual informant. Which would mean, in turn, Guardian continues to do the tough job of playing intelligence service and state department for the World Islamofascist Movement.

Posted by: Ace at 07:13 PM | Comments (13)
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See, we invented him. We ourselves created the mass-murderer responsible for the most deaths in Iraq; the man who came the closest to sparking a full-on civil war.

We did this, you see, just to have a convenient, named enemy we could then kill (three plus years after creating him!) and thus convince dullard American voters that the war could be won.

See, we basically teetered ont the brink of losing the war in order to score a "propaganda coup," which this Mensa candidate also suggests isn't much of a coup at all.

Why would such insane machinations work on us?

Because we're all fuckin' morons.

And we need certified psychokinetic atomic fissionists like Patrick Cockburn to explain how stupid we all are.

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was a little-known Jordanian petty criminal before he became the Islamic fundamentalist fanatic denounced by the United States in 2003 as an insurgent leader of great importance.



...



Zarqawi's rise was attributable to the US in two ways. His name was unknown when he was denounced in 2003, by Secretary of State Colin Powell before the UN Security Council as the link between Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda.



There was no evidence for this connection and Zarqawi did not at that time belong to al Qaeda. But to Muslims, Powell's denunciation made Zarqawi a symbol of resistance to the US. It also fitted Washington's political agenda that attacking Iraq was part of the war on terror.



The invasion gave Zarqawi a further boost. Within months of the overthrow of Hussein, Iraq's Sunni Arab community of five million appeared united in opposition to the occupation. Armed resistance was popular and for the first time Sunni militants known as the Salafi had a bedrock of support in Iraq.



The next critical moment in Zarqawi's career was the capture of Saddam Hussein in December 2003. Previously, US military and civilian spokesmen blamed everything on the former Iraqi leader.



No sooner was Saddam captured than the US spokesmen began to mention Zarqawi's name in every sentence. It emerged this year that the US emphasis on Zarqawi as the prime leader of the Iraqi resistance was part of a carefully calculated propaganda programme.



A dubious letter from Zarqawi was conveniently discovered. One internal briefing document quoted by the Washington Post records Brigadier General Kimmitt, then-chief US military spokesman: "The Zarqawi psy-op programme is the most successful information campaign to date."



The US campaign was largely geared towards the American public, aiming to establish that the invasion of Iraq was a reasonable response to the September 11 attacks.

Sigh. Um, no it wasn't "largely geared toward the American public," idiot. They keep seizing on this document with the scary title "Psy-Ops."

In war, get this, you run psy-ops against the enemy. Zarqawi was an enemy. We ran psy-ops against him, hoping to limit his appeal and recruiting abilities.

From our efforts to demonize an actual demon, vicious terrorist-sympathizing amoebae like Patrick Cockburn derive a "propaganda campaign" directed at stupid Americans.

What about winning hearts and minds, idiot? Isn't that what you faggits always suggest we do? Before we win hearts and minds, don't we have to convince people not to give their hearts and minds to a psychopathic headhunter?

Jesus. And they wonder why Bush is so resistant to letting out documents. Because one document with a mention of "Zarqawi psy-ops" gets used as evidence that America is creating terrorists.

This meant it was necessary to show that al Qaeda was strong in Iraq and play down the fact that this had happened only after the invasion.

In an increasingly anti-American Arab world, hostility from the US made it easy for Zarqawi to develop his own organisation and finance it.

The siege of Fallujah in April 2004 and the storming of the city by US Marines in November led to al-Tawhid wal-Jihad - whose name was later changed to al Qaeda's Organisation in Iraq - becoming a powerful force. The suicide bombing campaign had already begun in November 2003 and from the beginning was directed against Shiites as much as foreign troops or officials.

Zarqawi's war was devised to have the maximum political impact. Actions such as the beheading of foreign captives made him an enemy to America's liking.

Nick Berg in particular was a fan.

Although US military officials admitted that few insurgents were non-Iraqi, Zarqawi's Jordanian origins were useful in suggesting that the insurrection was orchestrated outside Iraq.

I've heard this all before. Islamic crazies say the same thing. Al Qaeda doesn't kill people; Americans or Jews kill themselves, and then blame Al Qaeda. Or they manipulate Muslims into crashing planes into buildings already wired with implosive explosives.

America is always the Black Hat scheming behind all violence -- helped by their Jew Zionist Minions -- even when the violence is directed at Americans (or Jews) themselves.

America: A self-contained cycle of violence.

Why, if we could just get rid of America and the Jews completely -- say through nuclear terrorism -- we'd have no more violence at all, and all the Peaceful Brown People and their Enlightened White Supporters (Honorary Peaceful Brown People) could live in eternal tranquility.

We're just this close to a Final Solution of sorts to finally relieve the world of all its woes.

Posted by: Ace at 06:20 PM | Comments (30)
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