This part is humorous:

Staff at the Pratunam Clinic, Thailand's top transgender center, said Saturday that John Mark Karr, 41, was a patient but wouldn't say how close he was to getting "sexual-reassignment" surgery.

"Yes, he had treatment here," a representative said. "He was our patient. He came a number of times. But we cannot give out details on his treatment as we are ethically bound to keep these things private."

Okay, we're going to tell you he was here for sex-reassignment surgery, and he came here a number of times, but damnit, we value his privacy too much to let you know the exact date and hour he was actually scheduled for surgery.

Thai Sex-Change Clinics

Just a little secret between us, you, and five billion of our closest friends.

What's the world coming to, when you can't even rely upon the discretion and professionalism of a Thailand genital chop-shop?

Thanks to Gabriel.

Posted by: Ace at 09:33 AM | Comments (13)
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This one was pretty good, too.

Most of you have seen this. I'm reposting this so that the idiot blogger I'll call "T" has something else to write about today, as apparently he's incapable of posting about anything except 1) my posts or 2) links he finds on my site, such as the Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passy site (without a hat tip, of course).

Here you go, T. Maybe you can imitatate some of the jokes I did here, too. And quote the exact same things I quoted, too. Makes blogging easier when you don't even have to decide which parts to excerpt.

I used to kid Goldstein that I envied him the obsessive homoerotic love/hate man-crush so many left's bottom-crawling bloggers felt for him.

You ought not joke about things like that.

PS: How did I know "T" had swiped the link? Not by clicking on his site, I assure you.

Simple. I was curious about JMPP's traffic, and I clicked on her sitemeter. I wanted to know how much Ace-love I was throwing her. Turns out, not all that much; mostly she was getting hits from Something Awful.

But who should turn up in her referral list? "T," of course. My new "Number One Fan."

Ace: James Caan

"T": Kathy Bates

If he starts calling me a "dirty bird," call the cops.

Correction: Looks like my Number One Fan had this the day before.

Eh. (S)he's still stalking me.

Another Old One: SPM sends this silly personal from a while ago.

Posted by: Ace at 07:29 AM | Comments (16)
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BamaPachyderm alerted me to this.

The term "douche" is rather sexist, in the sense that it is almost always applied to men.

"Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey" means to correct that sexism. Fast.

Get it while it's hot, boys:

I am a very high-quality woman. I know that sounds arrogant, but letÂ’s consider the facts:

1. IÂ’m slim (whereas 62% of American women age 20 to 74 are overweight)

2. IÂ’m attractive (my new picture has been rated more attractive than 86% of the women on Hot or Not -- and the women who upload their pictures are a self-selected sample that is probably already biased towards being more attractive than the general female population)

86%? Okay.

3. IÂ’m relatively young (whereas 82% of American adult women are over 30 years old)

4. IÂ’m intelligent (IQ tested at 145 when I was a child, which is 3 standard deviations above the mean -- higher than 99.85% of the population. Even if IÂ’ve gotten dumber as IÂ’ve aged IÂ’m probably still at least a 130, which is higher than 97.5% of the population.)

5. IÂ’m educated (whereas 77% of American women do not have bachelorÂ’s degrees)

6. I have my financial shit together (no debt, perfect credit history, 6+ months living expenses saved, adequate insurance, self employed)

7. I have a strong libido and love having sex (my lover *never* has to beg, unless itÂ’s for me to let him get some sleep!)

Beg?

Most of my interests tend to be more popular with men than women: science fiction, libertarianism, blogging, politics, economics, guns, gambling, etc.

She left out mastering "the power of psychokinetic flight."

...

So, I have a *lot* of choices of men who want to date me. Given that, of course I choose to date only the highest quality men -- men who are also fit, attractive, intelligent, educated, financially successful, etc. IÂ’m attracted to men from any race and a wide age range (21 to 50 or so) so the pool of men who meet those requirements is quite large, which allows me to add all sorts of additional restrictions if I want -- must be atheist, must be libertarian, must not want (more) children, must be financially independent or self-employed and available for frequent world travel, etc.

...

I realize that some of you will find this post depressing because youÂ’ll realize that you donÂ’t qualify as a high quality man and thus wonÂ’t be able to get a high quality woman. You have a few options:

1. Lower your standards and stop pursuing women who are out of your league.

Out of my league?

Look, I want to make it clear I'm not saying this girl is ugly, per se. What she is is "plain." She is what I call "Bad Irish." The Irish look, but not the Good Irish look. The pasty skin, the elfin features... but not cute elfin, or better yet, hot elfin.

What you're looking at here is a 5. A girl you wouldn't notice in the average college or singles bar, except maybe if you had recently quit smoking, and noticed she had a fresh pack of Marlboro Reds held in her (indifferent) cleavage.

[Continuing] There are lots of fat single mothers out there who canÂ’t find dates either.

Just thought I'd post that again. I'll give her she's not fat, and I'll take her word for it she is unencumbered by children. After that... well. The accolades run out rather quickly.

I will give her this: She has, as far as I can tell, only one head, which is generally considered to be the optimal number of heads, according to 83.5% of the male population.

The runner up was "zero heads," with 15% of the vote, followed by "six heads," with 1.5% of the vote.

Not sure what's that about. Maybe the poll oversampled Satanists hot for "The She-Spawn of the Beast of the Apocalypse."

2. Look in the developing world. If youÂ’re literate with a home computer and an internet connection you are very wealthy compared to the rest of the world. Citizenship or legal permanent residency in a rich country makes you more attractive to women in poorer countries. Your value on the dating market is thus much higher there.

Do I have to post it again?

I'm sorry, "Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey," but I think maybe you're the one who needs to seek new population pools for would-be suitors. I'm not sure you'd be considered "certifiably smokin'" except, perhaps, on Yuggoth (Pluto), where Mi-Go Space-Mead Brewers might turn their heads as you walk by and say, "Wow! She's not a crustacean-fungus with ten pincers and a head shaped like a deflated football sprouting a dozen eyestalks! Yowza! I don't know about you, but my Trilobal Mating Claw just went boooinnggg!"

3. Self-improvement! I used to be a fat unattractive college dropout who couldnÂ’t get her life together. Now IÂ’m thin, attractive, and successfully self-employed after graduating. You can make yourself over into a higher-quality man capable of winning a higher-quality woman too.

She's a "higher quality woman." This is true, I suppose, if the "woman' you're used to hooking up with is a hollowed squash filled with Astroglide.

Thanks to everyone who e-mailed or commented their offers, it's nice to feel wanted. Although I'm not looking for a new relationship right now (don't worry, I'll blog about it when I am), hopefully this post gave those of you who are interested a better idea of your chances in the future.

Update: Some people seem to think that this post is a bit harsh and/or arrogant.

I'm sorry if I've offended you, but I'm also really sick of getting e-mailed several times a week by delusionally hopeful men who read my blog and think because I am *their* dream girl that I'll therefore want them too.

I've never before done a photographic fisking. I'm an innovator.

Too often they act crushed when I reject them...

Crushed? Or mildly miffed that what was thought to be an easy lay goes south?

...which I feel bad about, but if they had stopped to consider whether they had as much to offer me as I have to offer them then they might have had more realistic expectations.

With all due respect, for the vast lot of us, this is, alas, what defines "realistic expectations."

...

Also, before anyone feels bad that I felt harassed by their attention, I want to clarify that it wasn't any one person's behavior that has made me this uncomfortable, rather it's the cumulative effect of being simultaneously aggressively pursued by several men who I don't have reciprocal feelings for. Most of you probably didn't realize that you weren't the only one hitting on me over the past few weeks. But now you do, and I need you all to cool it.

WickedPinto, where art thou? Never have I beheld a bitch more in need of a serious breaking.

Old school.

In her various updates, she brags that her "outrageous" posts (such as this) are designed to generate high blog-traffic. Which is sort of like the driver of a bus who causes a major chain-collision multiple-fatality accident saying, "Well, I sort of crossed three lanes and smashed into the guardrail because I want people to know I have the courage to drink heavily before operating heavy machinery."

Like someone else I know.

Can someone frisch themselves out of the dating market? Apparently so.

Thanks to Beth, who promises a somewhat-related "P.S." in her own post.

Update: Thanks to Beth again.

Okay, now that I see that she's a dead-ringer for Rudy Giuliani in drag, I have to admit, I'm three-quarters aroused.

The big question is, of course, would I hit it? I mean, her frightening resemblence to His Honor aside.

Admitedly: Yes.

I'd hit it, I admit, but there are different levels of "I'd hit it."

She comes somewhere on the "I'd hit it" scale between "I'd hit it, but only if it were 3am and I was drunk and really needed somewhere to crash for the night" and "I'd hit it, but only if she walked right up to me, grabbed my hog with both hands, and screamed to the bar, 'I claim this Man-Thing as mine own!!' and then vowed to fight any challengers to the death with Vulcan axe-spears."

Because yeah, I don't care what you look like, that's hot.

All Apologies... I didn't realize the "Beth" who sent me this was Beth from My Vast Right Conspiracy. I apologize for the earlier lack of a hat-tip to her blog.

Posted by: Ace at 07:58 PM | Comments (417)
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Hey, not the biggest deal in the world that they're being subject to pressure from folks over their politics. They'll survive, and, look, expressing pro-Israel sentiments in Hollywood isn't really a career-killer.

Still-- I'd like to point this out to all the liberals who cry "McCarthyism!" when people boycott the Dixie Chicks and the like.

Is it wrong, or is it legitimate, to express displeasure with an entertainer when he or she takes a controversial political stand?

The answer's either "It's always wrong" or "It's always legitimate." Not "It's legitimate if they're damned Zionists, but it's a chill wind of McCarthyism if they're good progressives just 'speaking the truth.'"

Thanks to Larwyn. Overly wordy, rambling rant on a slightly related topic follows.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 10:39 AM | Comments (80)
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Via Instapundit, so it's safe to click on for NYT boycotters.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 10:11 AM | Comments (28)
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Dunleavy:

Never before have I ever heard a prosecutor exhort so passionately the need to consider a nasty insect to be presumed innocent.
"It tells me the case is going south," said local attorney Larry Posner, referring to statements made by District Attorney Mary Lacy.

Trip Demuth, a former Boulder DA, said tersely: "I think she has been had."

On Thursday, DA Lacy appropriately remained tight-lipped about details of the case, but reminded everyone umpteen times that John Mark Karr is presumed innocent.

Bob Grant, a former DA of adjoining Adams County and a friend of Lacy, said: "I do think it's time for healthy skepticism. Mary is a great prosecutor and although she had every probable cause for extradition, I think her words have shown she has a lack of complete confidence in her case."

I think this case is going south, too, but I'm annoyed at the media's need of finding a villain in every story.

John Karr "married" an underage girl and took another underage girl across state lines for the purposes of "marrying" her. He was caught with kiddie-porn. He confessed to the crime, offering great details about them. (True, these details were probably gleaned from his obssessive sexual interest in the case, reading every word written about JonBenet; but still, enough detail to give some credence to his confession.)

And of course he made the confession while in a country notorious for child prostitution. And further, being in another country, the US had no control over him. What if he fled Thailand, for example?

The DA in this case acted perfectly properly-- when a known pedophile confesses to an unsolved 10 year old murder of a six year old girl while on foreign soil, you arrest him, you bring him back to the US, and you investigate him while you can keep him from fleeing.

And she's acting perfectly properly now by stressing he is "innocent until proven guilty" (although "innocent" is used in highly specific fashion here), and remaining otherwise quiet about it.

I know the media, which loves to voice its not-so-secret belief that they are smarter than everyone in the world and could do everyone else's job better, if they felt like it, is going to play the "Mary Lacy is a dumb duped dummy" meme constantly if this goes south, but they really ought to get over themselves, and stop pandering to an audience that also needs a "villain" or at least an incompetent somewhere in the "story."

She made the right call. She's making the right call now. She will probably make the right call when the evidence is in.

End of "story."

Posted by: Ace at 07:56 AM | Comments (65)
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Since I was just informed that my parody of the left's current talking-point mantra that "white rightwingers are just scaredy-cats who wet themselves at the sight of a 'brown person' on a plane" was "racist" (or just "racism disguised as parody"), I thought I'd share this with ScaredyPat:

I'm not ashamed of the sudden incontinence I experience when I see a swarthy person. The dark stain that radiates from my crotch isn't an external display of fear. It's a warning symbol to all around me that I've spotted a potential terrorist and will report him or her to the State Security Apparatus the moment I stop shaking enough to dial my cellphone.

Is this racism too?

Before you answer, you should know it's a parody... by a lefty. The tremendously unfunny leftist moron "Jesus' General" is sending this around to rightwingers, so smitten is he with his own wit.

Now: It seems to me we have two similar parodies, differentiated only by the fact that mine is actually funny. He's pretending to be rightwinger who is so afraid of "brown persons" he soils himself; I too, am pretending to be rightwinger who is so afraid of "brown persons" I soil myself. He's pretending to be that kind or rightwinger to make fun of rightwingers; I'm pretending to be that kind of rightwinger to make fun of leftwingers. Other than the ultimate target -- same schtick, same material (scary "brown people").

And yet-- mine is "racist," but I'm sure ScaredyPat will rush in to tell us all that Jesus' General is not racist, for some or other reason.

Nuance.

Thanks to Allah for the tip. "Jesus' General" sent this to me, too, but to my yahoo acount, which I don't often check.

PS: Has ScaredyPat seen the Jewish Conspiracy thread? My stars, what would she think of that!

Or perhaps she doesn't think that's antisemitic, because she thinks those Jewish Conspiracies are pretty much true.

Posted by: Ace at 06:49 AM | Comments (177)
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Pretty speculative from Dan Riehl, but it's a good place to start.

Lott isn't a "brown person" per se, and therefore less likely to be the culprit, but I'm told he has a "swarthy personality type."

Which makes me absolutely terrified of him.

If any Missippians are annoyed with this preening peacock, give his office a call and try to get them to answer the question. I'm expecting a refusal to answer, because, even if it's not him, he wants to protect the person putting a hold on the amendment. Because he likes his pork.

Let me go further: He wants to keep earmarking in the dark because he's fundamentally corrupt. Why else would he want to hide it?

Posted by: Ace at 07:30 PM | Comments (22)
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Click on jpg for rest of letter & story at the Smoking Gun.

The letter was signed "D. Frisch."

Thanks to Eric.

Posted by: Ace at 06:46 PM | Comments (41)
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Well. I guess that means he thinks the decision should be overturned then, right?

Of course not. The eminently well-qualified Carter appointee Ms. Taylor turned in an opinon that wouldn't get a C in first-year Con Law class, but Gleen Rick Ellensberg agrees with the outcome, so everything's jake.

If a leftwing hack finds this decision preposterous, I'd say that, um, it's pretty likely to be overturned.

(That link is to Patterico, by the way. I don't link puppets.)

Posted by: Ace at 04:18 PM | Comments (90)
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