I don't want to hurt you. I just want you to go away.

Three cups of coffee are not doing the trick today, and of course, we're all going to die. Fiery cataclysm, yadda-yadda.

Anyone got a joke or funny anecdote to share? Open Thread.

Posted by: LauraW. at 08:04 AM | Comments (70)
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Gateway Pundit:

Osama bin Laden is planning to carry out new, more destructive attacks inside the United States, and there is someone working on this terror plot currently in the US, according to Hamid Mir, the famed Pakistani journalist who obtained the only post-9/11 interviews with Osama bin Laden and Ayman al-Zawahiri. In an interview quoted on the website of the al-Arabiya television network, Mir spoke about his last trip to Afghanistan and his meeting with al-Qaeda members and Taliban leaders.

In his interview with Al.Arabiya.net, Mir said that the al-Qaeda and Taliban fighters referred to attacks targeting the US-led coalition forces during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan which begins on 24 September, and that the al-Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden was in "good" health during a meeting he had recently with the Taliban leader, Mullah Mohammed Omar.

Mir also said that bin Laden has assigned a man named Adnan Al-Shukri Juma to carry out a new attack within the US which is intended to be larger than the 11 September, 2001 attacks. According to Mir, Adnan Jumaa has smuggled explosives and nuclear materials into the US through the Mexican border over the last two years and is hiding somewhere in America where the FBI has not been able to locate him...

Whether the dirty bomb plot is genuine or not, he's an Al Qaeda terrorist and ought to be captured or killed.

I'm going to put up his pictures in the sidebar permanently until he's captured. Seems like a useful thing to do. Works for America's Most Wanted.

More at Jawa and of course and Allah and Dan Riehl too.

Thanks to Larwyn.

Asymetrical Information: I read Freakonomics (finally) on the bus ride back, and if there's one big take-away from the book, it's the power of asymetical information to be used corruptly, and the dissemination of information via the Internet to destroy the asymetrical advantage and reduce corruption or criminality.

This guy has a big asymetrical informational advantage-- not many people know what he looks like. Let's change that.

The FBI's "Seeking Information" page on him.

Stuff to look for: the "pretty" features of the eyes and mouth; a "pronounced" nose (which nevertheless seems attractive); and the fact that he's a small man, 5'3" - 5'6", weighing about 132 pounds; he's 31 years old; is Saudi Arabian but speaks English; and he's asthmatic (pharmacy workers take special notice, though it's likely that he has confederates do most of his shopping for him, especially for the telltale inhaler).

Oh... Did I Mention... There's a Five Milion Dollar reward for information about his whereabouts?

Blogger BOLO: Not to push this, but if you think it's a good idea, a standing sidebar pic of the man, with the info on him and links to the FBI, might help. There are, in aggregate, several million blog readers. The odds of them, even taken together, seeing this monster are slim, but silm is better than none.

Posted by: Ace at 06:53 AM | Comments (147)
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No, really.

Warning: Story runs with pic of Borat in a revealing neon-green Speedo thingee.

US President George Bush is to host White House talks on British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.

Cohen, 35, creator of Ali G, has infuriated the Kazakhstan government with his portrayal of Borat, a bumbling Kazakh TV presenter.

And now a movie of Borat's adventures in the US has caused a diplomatic incident.

The opening scene, which shows Borat lustily kissing his sister goodbye and setting off for America in a car pulled by a horse, had audiences in stitches when it was first shown last week.

But the film, which has just premiered at the Toronto Film Festival, has prompted a swift reaction from the Kazakhstan government, which is launching a PR blitz in the States.

Kazakhstan president Nursultan Nazarbayev is to fly to the US to meet President Bush in the coming weeks and on the agenda will be his country's image.

...

Baron Cohen responded to Ashykbayev in character by posting a video on the Official Borat website.

In the video, Borat said, "In response to Mr. Ashykbayev's comments, I'd like to state I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my Government's decision to sue this Jew.

"Since the 2003 Tuleyakiv reforms, Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world.

"Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats, and age of consent has been raised to eight years old."

Thanks to Steph.

Update: Borat's response video.

Thanks to SomeJoe.

Posted by: Ace at 06:15 AM | Comments (15)
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Michelle Malkin has a long post up about the impending civil case by France-2 television against critics of the so-called Muhammad Dura shooting. Michelle's links give more detail, but the short version is this:

In 2000, a Palestinian cameraman got footage of what appeared to be a Palestinian boy being deliberately targeted by Israeli soldiers, and shot dead. The 55-second video was broadcast around the world, did irreparable damage to Israel's reputation, and sparked a retaliatory Intifada which resulted in the deaths of 500 Israelis.

Problem is, the video was a fake.

Oh well, no harm done, right? I mean, other than all those dead Jews.

But France-2 television (which is owned by the government) has now filed a lawsuit against critics of the film who have shown it to be fake. Anyone with any integrity would admit the mistake and apologize for being an instrument in the deaths of so many innocent civilians, but we're talking about the French, here. So a lawsuit it is.

The reason I'm writing this post is not just to re-hash Michelle's work. As it turns out, I studied a bit of French law at school, including defamation law. It's a bit different from American defamation law:

Diffamation consists of the publication by the defendant of facts relating to the plaintiff, whether these facts are true or not; injure, on the other hand, consists of the use of 'outrageous expressions' which do not impute particular facts to the defendant (one leading text gives the calling of anothere a 'pedantic prig' as an example!). Both offences require that the defendant was malicious or in bad faith in making the statement in question, though such a 'culpable intention' is deemed to exist in the absence of proof of good faith, a proof which the courts have proved reluctant to admit. More surprisingly, truth is a defence only as regards those imputations which relate to a person's public life: a person's private life is protected even from truthful imputations. In accordance with the general rule, a defendant who commits either of these offenses will be liable in damages to anyone who suffers harm as a result...

From Bell et al., "Principles of French Law," at 368 (emphasis added).

In other words, even if what you say is true, you can be liable for damages is it's mean. I swear, if there is a more craven, feminized, cowardly group of people on the face of this Earth (the American Democratic party excepted), I have yet to hear of it. And in this case, the courts (which are part of the same government that owns the plaintiff television station) can vindicate France-2 (and by extension, the murders of 500 Israelis) simply on the basis that true statements were too "outrageous."

By contrast, the Nevada rule on defamation (which isn't wildly different from any other American jurisdiction) is: a) A false and defamatory statement of fact, of or concerning the defendant, b) an unprivileged publication to a third party, c) fault, amounting to at least negligence, and d) actual or implied damages. That's the American way: if what you're saying is true, our laws give you absolute protection, and the other person has to suck it up.

Posted by: Ace at 11:33 PM | Comments (47)
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I know that a lot of you are, like me, discouraged when you read about low-life conspiracy peddlers like the "truthers".

And I know that when you see polls that say upwards of 33% of your fellow Americans give credit to these whacked out losers conspiracy theories, you begin to become disheartened with your fellow citizens.

That's why I wanted to take this opportunity to post something inspirational. Something uplifting. Something that would make you hold your head high and remember that, despite it all, American's are still the greatest people on the planet.

So I bring you this story from today's Washington Post: Man Seized on Flight to Dulles.

The scene:

"An unruly passenger who reportedly tried to yank open a cabin door in an airliner en route to Washington was jumped last night by fellow passengers who helped federal air marshals subdue him.

United Flight 890, from Los Angeles, was about two hours from Dulles International Airport when the incident occurred about 6:30 p.m. EDT. The full Airbus 320 arrived a few minutes early, officials said.

The man, who reportedly wore a camouflage jacket and spoke Portuguese, was questioned at Dulles last night by airport police, according to an airport spokeswoman."

Now I know what you are thinking. Where's all this feel-good stuff you mentioned? Where's the beef, Jack?

It comes later in the story. In fact, here it is now:

"The man "was pulling on the rear-door release handle," said the passenger, Stephen Lockwood of Northern Virginia.

A flight attendant ordered the man to stop, but he continued to pull on the handle.

Two or three passengers standing nearby intervened, Lockwood said he was told by others onboard.

"They jumped him," Lockwood said. "He resisted," and a vigorous scuffle ensued.

"The guy took quite a beating," Lockwood said. No one else was reported injured.

Ah yes. A good old fashioned beat down. It seems our Portugese speaking friend had an unexpected arrival at Gate-Smackdown.

Who says that the lessons of 9/11 have been forgotten?

Kudos to you, passengers of flight 890. Whenever I see one of these truthers today, I'll just ask myself "What would Flight 890 Do?".

And all will be revealed.

Posted by: Ace at 11:32 PM | Comments (22)
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managed to win his primary challenge in Rhode island this evening.

So, in an effort to build good will, and reach out to the leftards and the moonbats (who I guess I really shouldn't call that since I'm trying to swing a deal) how about this offer:

The GOP will Trade the Democrats Lincoln Chafee and Northeastern Senator in 2008 for Joe Lieberman and the rights to a Southern Senator in 2010.

Any takers?

Posted by: Ace at 09:31 PM | Comments (11)
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Sorry, I mean "truthers". Below is a recording of asswipe extraordinaire Dylan Avery, "director" and narrator of Loose Change, being interviewed on various left-wing radio shows, laughing his ass off (miraculously, his neck wasn't injured) at the idea that planes could be highjacked by people armed with nothing but box cutters.

Avery: Have you seen how small those things are? If I was was on a flight with at least fifty other people...and five people, I don't care if they're Muslims or not, stand up with box cutters and say they're going to highjack the plane, I'm gonna laugh in their faces.

Dylan "Rambo" Avery

I'd pay to see that. Avery sneers at the mention of Debra Burlingame, the sister of Charles "Chic" Burlingame III, the pilot of the American Airlines Flight 77 that was crashed into the Pentagon on 9/11, then suggests that Bernard Brown, Sr., a Pentagon employee, put his eleven-year-old son, Bernard Brown, Jr., on Flight 77 knowing he would be killed.

He tells the interviewer that Brown, Sr. took an "unusual day off" to play golf. Because, you know, he knew the flight his son was on would be used as a missile against the building he worked in - or that his son would be dumped in the ocean and a real missile would be used, or whatever bollocks this f**king idiot is pushing.

Korey Rowe, the "producer" of Loose Change, has the following exchange with a caller - a retired NYPD officer named Kevin - who watched WTC 7 collapse:

Kevin: Yeah, how you doin', I'm a retired policeman. I stood there as we watched it collapse, does he [Rowe] know how it collapsed? I want to ask him that.

Rowe: Well, I've heard some of the official (unintelligible) how a fuel tank supposedly caught fire...

Kevin: Well, you're wrong. Building number two fell into it and took out the bottom section of it, and it stood sideways for three hours before it collapsed, stupid, so don't tell me that somebody blew it up, you idiot, I watched it. It burned for three hours before it collapsed.

Rowe: Well, I'm sorry, but you're wrong.

Got it? More airtight, unassailable logic from the brain trust behind Loose Change:

"You're wrong."

Mind you, that's what this tool says to an eyewitness.

Listen for yourself:

These people are beneath contempt. Actually, they're underneath whatever it is that's beneath contempt. Are they completely brain dead? No, I don't think so.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of drooling idiots who would be eating their pocket lint if they weren't busy handing out hand-drawn 9-11 conspiracy fliers, but Avery and Rowe are just a couple of scumbags who think there's some kind of liberal Utopia just around the corner.

If they could just help the Democrats to wrest control of the government from the Rethuglican Criminal Enterprise, get someone like Jim Moran or Dennis Kucinich in the White House and establish a Department of Peace, it would rainbows and ponies for everyone.

All they need to do to make that happen is just what they're accusing this administration of every day - lying to the American people in order to further their own political agenda.

If they could just convince enough people that Bernard Brown knowingly sent his little boy to his death and then headed out to play eighteen holes, the world would be a better place.

Dylan Avery and Korey Rowe aren't just a couple of lying punks - they're morally bankrupt opportunists masquerading as arbiters of truth.

No shocker, since lying is SOP in the 9-11 "truth" movement. Here's Jim Meigs in today's New York Post:

In every single case, we found that the very facts used by conspiracy theorists to support their fantasies are mistaken, misunderstood or deliberately falsified.

Here's one example: [French author Thierry] Meyssan and hundreds of Web sites cite an eyewitness who said the craft that hit the Pentagon looked "like a cruise missile with wings." Here's what that witness, a Washington, D.C., broadcaster named Mike Walter, actually told CNN: "I looked out my window and I saw this plane, this jet, an American Airlines jet, coming. And I thought, 'This doesn't add up. It's really low.' And I saw it. I mean, it was like a cruise missile with wings. It went right there and slammed right into the Pentagon."

We talked to Walter and, like so many of the experts and witnesses widely quoted by conspiracy theorists, he told us he is heartsick to see the way his words have been twisted: "I struggle with the fact that my comments will forever be taken out of context."

H/T: Insterpondit

That's not an error of ommission. It's not lint-eater jibberish. It's a bald-faced lie, and if Mike Walter himself called every single 9-11 conspiracy kook and told them he's been misquoted, they would suddenly find damning "evidence" of Walter's complicity in the 9-11 murders. He'd probably feature prominently in Avery's next video thingy.

Never mind that Avery, Rowe and the other "truthers" are letting the real killers off the hook, smearing innocent people and rubbing salt in the wounds of everyone who lost someone close to them five years ago. Unimportant detail, that.

Still, I suppose I could be wrong about Avery and Rowe's motivation - maybe they just want to make a buck.

More (from Ace)... Via Allah (who hates these guys like Indiana Jones hates Nazis), a compilation of CIA stooges posing as "eyewitnesses" to seeing a jet hit the Pentagon.

Posted by: John From WuzzaDem at 09:26 PM | Comments (225)
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This is serious.

Michael Collins was the first to change his story.

"Hey, I figured it would be cool. Buzz and Neil were gonna be gone for a few days, I had the whole pad to myself, I thought 'What the hell? Fire one up dude'! Then I remembered I was in a pure oxygen environment so I grabbed me a handfull of goofballs and some Tang™".

Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin was the next to admit he had violated NASA's rules regarding controlled substances and the first ever moon landing.

"I was trying to talk em into lettin me out the door first. And Mr. Hardass from Ohio was giving me the 'we go by the book' bullshit. I swear that dude was so uptight you couldn't get a knitting needle up his sphincter. Dickhead. Total dickhead. So I capped a mushroom and washed it down with some of that green pasty 'number leven' gunk, Christ that stuff was awful".

And so it went. For the next 12 hours, two of the three critical members of Neil Armstrong's Apollo 11 team were so messed up they couldn't tell which way was up. Not even looking at that floaty ball thing that's half black and half white, like Frank Gorshin was in that Star Trek episode about racism.

"Buzz was a complete waste" Armstrong recalled. "At one point he was just staring at the flag, and I waved my glove in front of his face saying 'Buzz.. Buzz'? And he just started giggling like a retard and did that 'moon prancing' thing he loved so much... gibbering something about 'velcro! that's the ticket! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAA'! Moron.

NASA officials, still reeling from the "lost recordings" controversy, responded to the news with dismay, but tried to paint a positive picture.

"Dude. It was like, the 60s. You've heard of them? The 60s? I still remember hearing about Kranz lighting up before the 13 mission. Hell he was singing show tunes when the center engine on the third stage crapped out", recalled mission specialist Lynn Taggert.

NASA officials admit there's little they can do now except acknowledge a painful and embarrassing episode from the past, and look to the future.

Posted by: Ace at 04:23 PM | Comments (14)
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We've been touched by greatness.

The same troll that has spread his simian poo at sites like Captain's Quarters, Roger L. Simon and the august Becker-Posner blog has graced us with his presence.

He's like an uber-troll, the Johnny Cash of troll-dom - he's been everywhere.

And, as we say in Maine, he's numbah than a pounded thumb.

It has been awhile since the Morons™ at this thread have had a chance to play Whack-a-Troll with a true legend. We're like cats in a way. Every once in awhile, we need to bat around a terrified mouse, just for fun.

I'll begin with a classic.

Monkyboy had a hot date once. He told the girl he wanted to "make love to her in the worst way."

He ended up attempting to copulate with her armpit.

So have at it!

(Hey, at least it isn't another stupid music video)

Posted by: Slublog at 04:19 PM | Comments (125)
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Well it appears that those brainiacs behind the whole "truthers" movement have found a soulmate. Maybe e-harmony's system of matching people based on their compatible abilities to split atoms using nothing more than the power of their minds really does work!

Because, if this report can be believed, it appears that Venezuelan Strongman Hugo Chavez has placed Dylan Avery on his "crush list".

I'm sensing an invitation to the Winter Formal is in the works! We'll really know if it's serious if they show up at Sadie Hawkins Day together as well.

In any event, here is what Fidel Castro's "mini-me" had to say about the notion that the United States government orchestrated the events of September 11:

" "The hypothesis is not absurd . . . that those towers could have been dynamited," Chavez said in a speech to supporters. "A building never collapses like that, unless it's with an implosion."

"The hypothesis that is gaining strength . . . is that it was the same U.S. imperial power that planned and carried out this terrible terrorist attack or act against its own people and against citizens of all over the world," Chavez said.

"Why? To justify the aggressions that immediately were unleashed on Afghanistan, on Iraq."

Chavez has said the U.S. launched those wars to ensure its political and economic power.

The U.S. government says al-Qaida chief Osama bin Laden masterminded the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

"A plane supposedly crashed into the Pentagon, but no one ever found a single remnant of that plane," Chavez said, citing a television program he had seen on Venezuela's state television.

In an earlier thread, someone took me to task for calling the Loose Change proponents "anti-American".

I wonder...whatever could have given me that idea?

Posted by: Ace at 01:02 PM | Comments (27)
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