The dolphin's name is Jean Floch. I'm not kidding.

An enraged dolphin has been terrorising the French Atlantic coast for several weeks, attacking boats and knocking fishermen into the sea.

"He's like a mad dog," said Henri Le Lay, president of the association of fishermen and yachtsmen of the port of Brezellec, in Brittany. "We demand zee filthy Americain swine and NATO intervene on our behalf."

When asked to explain his behavior, Jean Floch intoned, "G g g g g g bee eee ee eeee click click click beebeebeebeebeebeebee."

Update [AnalogKid]: Talks break down! French Surrender!

Zee Dolphin was enraged and scared us verry mooch. Eet was terrifying, zat dolphin acting zat way. We kept thinking eef only we could only speek ze language of Dolphins, perhaps eet would be reesonable.

Posted by: LauraW. at 05:54 PM | Comments (27)
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ace mentioned in an earlier thread the challenges of keeping a blog going while dealing with the intrusions of life. He mentioned fatigue. Stalking women and killing hobos can really eat into your schedule.

I don't have the same problems though, I'm not a real blogger and the hobos are wary of me now.

But I don't really do serious because so many others (regulars and guests) do that much better than me.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 04:27 PM | Comments (31)
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Whatever the hell this is supposed to guage, Bush has improved since the last reading of the "poltiical thermometer."

Again, I have no idea what this measures. "Warmth of feelings." Whatever. Higher is better.

Look at who's on top:

more...

Posted by: Ace at 01:50 PM | Comments (94)
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From The Hollywood Reporter (via Drudge):

ABC issued a defense Thursday of its controversial miniseries "The Path to 9/11," which has come under fire from members of the Clinton administration.

The network released a statement saying that the five-hour telefilm, which airs Sunday and Monday nights, is not meant to be a documentary but a "dramatization" of the events leading up to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

So far, so good. No surprises here. Clinton, Albright and Burglar not happy, etc., etc., rising chorus of critics assailing, yada, yada, yada. Wait - what's this?

However, ABC left open the possibility that the scenes that have been criticized could still be removed from the miniseries, which will be subject to edit before air.

Huh?

"No one has seen the final version of the film because the editing process is not yet complete, so criticisms of film specifics are premature and irresponsible," ABC said. [Emphasis mine]

That's funny, I could have sworn I read this just the other day in Variety.

Because the miniseries' actual length is less than the six-hour, two-night block in which it's scheduled to run, ABC has had to make other plans to fill the time following the conclusions of both parts.

ABC News has already prepared a special documentary hosted by Charlie Gibson to air following the end of night two of the mini, just after 10 p.m. on Sept. 11. Alphabet is still finalizing plans for the roughly 10 minutes of airtime left at the conclusion of night one, on Sept. 10.

And, yes, I do understand that editors routinely cut and add to films with a specific running time in mind, but read the Variety article again [emphasis mine]:

Because the miniseries' actual length is less than the six-hour, two-night block in which it's scheduled to run, ABC has had to make other plans to fill the time following the conclusions of both parts.

ABC News has already prepared a special documentary hosted by Charlie Gibson to air following the end of night two of the mini, just after 10 p.m. on Sept. 11. Alphabet is still finalizing plans for the roughly 10 minutes of airtime left at the conclusion of night one, on Sept. 10.

Sounds to me like they were scrambling to find something relevant to air at the conclusion of both nights of programming, which would suggest that they were done editing. If they weren't, I would think they would be able to add at least ten minutes, even if they already had the Gibson documentary "in the can" (that's Hollywood lingo).

And what about the 900 or so preview DVDs that were sent to critics, pundits, bloggers and hobos? Did ABC send those out while they were still "tweaking" the film?

Hey, ABC - you want to buckle, it's your call, but try to come up with a better excuse. Maybe your dog ate the final edited version. Or it mysteriously disapperared after Sandy Berger visited the studio.

Oh, and on a side note, it looks like ABC's plan to team with children's media company Scholastic to make available to high school students an online study guide about the events of 9/11 has fallen through. According to Scholastic's president and CEO Dick Robinson:

"After a thorough review of the original guide that we offered online to about 25,000 high school teachers, we determined that the materials did not meet our high standards for dealing with controversial issues."

Thanks. Dick. I mean, thanks, Dick.

The original materials, which concerned the subject matter of the film, will be replaced with content that addresses more general subjects, including media literacy and critical thinking.

That's right kids: Never forget! (Media literacy and critical thinking, that is).

UPDATE: Commenter bgates notes that someone registered the domain name www.pathto911.com, and pointed it to this page on the web site of the Democratic party (located in the "Petitions" section), where visitors are encouoraged to contact ABC and urge them to keep Path to 9/11 (which the Democrats are calling "a conservative attempt to rewrite the history of September 11 to blame Democrats, just in time for the election.") off the air.

The ABC television network -- a cog in the Walt Disney empire -- unleashed a promotional blitz in the last week for a new "docudrama" called "The Path to 9/11". ABC bills the two-night production as a public service that is "based on the 9/11 Commission Report". That is false - it is actually a bald-faced attempt to slander Democrats.

"The Path to 9/11" is a conservative attempt to rewrite the history of September 11th to blame Democrats. The Walt Disney Corporation could have given Americans an honest look at September 11. Instead, the company abandoned its duty to the truth -- and embraced the fiction known as "The Path to 9/11."
Tell Walt Disney president Robert Iger that you hold his company responsible -- and that this community demands that ABC tell the truth.

Mr. Iger,

"The Path to 9/11" mocks the truth and dishonors the memory of 9/11 victims to serve a cheap, callous political agenda. It irresponsibly misrepresents the facts and completely distorts the truth.

This film is a conservative attempt to rewrite the history of September 11 to blame Democrats, just in time for the election. You should honor the trust the public has given you with our public airwaves by keeping this propaganda off the air.

Sincerely,

Liberals demanding truth from a television network. My irony meter just imploded.

Posted by: John From WuzzaDem at 01:49 PM | Comments (63)
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Before I get to my picks, I want to get something of my fuckin' chest.

You guest bloggers? You fuckin' sicken me you attention-starved, talentless, narcissistic, hacks.

That's right. I said it. Everyone else here is thinking it, but these spineless 'tards are too chickenshit to verbalize it. I'm not. You suck.

I mean what the fuck is a "guest blogger" anyway? Is that someone who is such a fucking loser that he or she (except it's probably a he since chicks are usually too dumb to type anything other than dictation) has to seek some semblance of a "life" by parading around in the shadow of another, slightly less pathetic, loser?

Shit! Look at what you fuckmunches have done to this shithole since you've shown up. YouTube videos, fer christsakes? And now even the head moron is posting them too. As the man said, fuckin' crikey mate. I'm beginning to think Irwin's death wasn't an accident. He saw what happened to this damn blog, and figured it was the only honorable way out.

And poetry??? Look, Jack M., unless the "M" stands for "Meoff" and you are a chick with a handful of cocoa butter, I ain't interested in reading any of your queer ass attempts to land a fantasy girlfriend. It's pathetic. And if you are a chick with the last name of "Meoff" and a handful of cocoa butter, you got better things to be stroking than the keyboard of a blog, bitch.

Look, Jack...let me put it to you in terms you will understand. No one gives a flying turd about your attempts to score a "Faggity Ann" doll to match your "Faggity Andy". Capiche?

I'm beginning to think that Wickedpinto is the only one with a yard full of dick and enough hair on his ass to weave a Mexican rug around this place. It looks like I'm going to have to take him up on an evening of "bitchbreaking" just to restore some semblance of testosterone to my system. I don't even know what that is, but I am told there will be 1) bitches and 2) breaking, so I don't see how it can be bad.

Alright. I've said my piece. I was 18-4 against the spread last week, so ignore my advice at your peril. The picks are in the extended entry. Use them at your discretion, slapasses.

UPDATE: 15-7 with the picks this week. Michigan and Tennessee are killing me. I've missed them both in the past two weeks. A pox on both their crotchsniffing houses!

For the Week: 15-7
For the Season: 33-11. more...

Posted by: Ace at 12:25 PM | Comments (43)
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Old opinion of Brad Pitt: Dumb as a bag of retards.

New opinion of Brad Pitt: Perhaps the most brilliant man who has ever lived. A mind of such staggering intellectual power it makes Einstein's look like the primative nerve ganglia in an ankylosaurus' ass-brain.

Thanks to Blacksheep.

Top Ten Other Brad Pitt, Super-Genius, Excuses Made To Women

10. "I cannot do a dish-washing until all minefields are cleared for the world's children."

9. "I vow to support HIV awareness by blowing one stealth-fart into your couch-cushions for each AIDS casualty in America."

8. "How can I give you more than twenty-two seconds of foreplay when Bush is planning to pack the Supreme Court with rightwing reactionaries? Can't you see the bigger picture?"

7. "Make me a sandwich if you oppose Japanese whale-hunting, bitch."

6. "No, I won't weed the lawn. I'm opposed to all forms of discrimination. Aren't you, racist?"

5. "Watching TBS' Shark Week for thirty three hours nonstop is my silent protest against CIA defoilant operations against South American coca farmers."

4. "The KKK lynched people for not raising the toilet seat back up. I won't sully the memories of their victims by towing the Klan line."

3. "If I give you the television remote, then the terrorists have won."

2. "Arms are made for hugging. Not for moving your knickknack cabinet."

...and the Number One Brad Pitt Excuse Made To Women...

1. "I finished in thirty seconds intentionally. If I had waited for you to orgasm, we would have spent precious minutes filling the air with dangerous hydrocarbons or fluorocarbons or... I don't know, some kind of carbons. Now make me a sandwich if you love black people. You... do love black people don't you, racist?"

Posted by: Ace at 11:22 AM | Comments (54)
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Some kind of a "rental deal" with a non-profit:

The action comes two weeks after The Star-Ledger reported that Menendez collected over $300,000 from the organization over a nine-year period while he represented Hudson County in the U.S. House of Representatives. During that period, he also helped the agency win millions of dollars in federal funding.

Sweet.

Meanwhile, Tom Kean Junior has already overtaken Menendez for the Senate seat in recent polling.

That would be a net pick-up, of course.

Rasmussen has it as 49-45 with six toss-ups.

Maria Cantwell, Too: Accused of "helping" lobbyists' clients.

Washington Sen. Maria Cantwell helped arrange more than $11 million in federal money in the past year for projects benefiting clients of a lobbyist who is advising her re-election campaign and still owes her money from a personal loan.

Cantwell, a Democrat who is in a tight re-election race, has reported for years that former campaign manager Ron Dotzauer owes her between $15,000 and $50,000 for a personal loan predating her first Senate election in 2000. Dotzauer now runs a lobbying firm.

The loan was still listed as outstanding on the financial disclosure report Cantwell filed in May. The senator's office said Dotzauer continues to advise informally Cantwell's campaign as an unpaid adviser.

Since last fall, Cantwell has helped persuade Senate appropriators to set aside $9.6 million - known as "earmarks" in congressional parlance - for a dam project benefiting two clients of Dotzauer's firm and $2 million more for the biotechnology company Inologic also represented by his firm.

Tight race. Democratic corruption. I likes it.

Update: John brings the snark. Except this is quite possible in New Jersey:

Look for Menendez to drop out a few weeks before the election, and a judge to allow Frank Lautenberg to hold BOTH NJ senate seats.

Thanks to someone.

Posted by: Ace at 11:16 AM | Comments (16)
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Is this something? I don't know.

I blundered across this because I was looking for... something.

Okay, I admit it. After I said all musicals suck, I remembered Chicago didn't suck at all. I spent last night listening to some of the songs from the movie.

And I'm going to listen to All That Jazz now. Deal with it.

I'm here, I liked Chicago, and I'm not going back.

An $80,000 television?

The downside: There's still nothing on TV except King of Queens and Boston Legal.

Posted by: Ace at 09:55 AM | Comments (24)
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Hm.

The Reidfather:

Look what they've done to my beautiful boy Billy Jeff...
I want you to use all your tools, all your craft,
to make him look beautiful, so that his mother can
look upon him.

Thanks to Jiggity for the tip and to Slublog for the p-shop and the caption.

Posted by: Ace at 09:30 AM | Comments (45)
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Good news all around:

World oil prices have fallen to a five-month low point below 66.0 dollars a barrel in London on diminishing prospects of supply disruptions.

Crude futures, already weakened in recent days by expectations that
Iran would not face economic sanctions over its nuclear programme any time soon, have been weighed down further by strong rises in US energy stockpiles.

Prices were being pressured also Friday by fading fears over this year's Atlantic hurricane season and by BP's announcement it might restore production sooner than expect at the biggest oil field in the United States.

Did I say good news all around? Okay, not all around. Part of the reason oil is falling is because the markets realize the West is going to let Iran have an atomic bomb. Imagine the supply glut after Iran or a terrorist proxy nukes NYC and plunges the world into a deep economic depression!

Or at least that's what they think. Bush says differently. Whether I believe him, I don't know.

Posted by: Ace at 09:03 AM | Comments (18)
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