...at least as of yet. Coming to TV on May 24th at 11am EST, and Hot Air thirty five seconds after that.

It will be interesting to see if the Loose Change douches can avoid/lie about their beliefs as to government involvement in 9/11, or will just stick to the new script of merely "raising questions."

Thanks to Kuru Lounge.

Posted by: Ace at 03:57 PM | Comments (19)
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First up, a headline that defies parody: Jobless Romanians Get Welfare Goats.

Jobless Romanians are to be given goats instead of welfare benefits as part of a scheme to make them contribute more to the economy.

...

The scheme has been set up by the council's campaigning mayor, Cristea Gascan, who said: "We have 30 families that are on benefits, and just paying them cash does not help them or us. But with goats they are making a positive contribution to the economy and will be working instead of sitting at home expecting handouts...It is the goats, or nothing."

I'll admit, it has a certain logic to it. A hopeless, backwards Eastern European sort of logic.

Mr Gascan said all families receiving the goats will have to pay a "tax" of three kids a year to the city hall. An inspector will be appointed to make sure the goats are not mistreated, sold or eaten by those entrusted with their care, and Mr Gascan plans to take 10 goats himself to show others how much can be made from the scheme.

Suliman Visel, 22, who is unemployed and was the first to sign up for the goats, said: "I want to work and the goats will be good for me and my family. They will help me feed myself and my two children and will bring more than the welfare money we had."

We all know where this leads, of course. Imagine it: Welfare gypsies with their three-wheeled carts up on blocks in the yard, arguing with convenience store clerks over whether or not they can use their government goats to buy cigarettes--it'll be kind of like an American inner city, but with balalaikas.

Also from the Telegraph is this story about Paul McCartney, who shows off a hitherto unseen knack for humor:

Sir Paul McCartney yesterday likened his prolonged and bitter divorce from Heather Mills to a journey through a tunnel towards the light.

Describing how he has been helped by the support of his family and the public, he said: "There is a tunnel and there is a light and I will get there, and meantime I really enjoy my work and my family.

"I see people worse off than me, so I can put it into perspective. There's a thing we always used to quote in the Sixties when things were rough, 'I walked down a street and I cried because I had no shoes, then I saw a man with no feet'. It was an Indian parable, and that is one of the lines I live by."

No comment.

Anyway: Do you like young girls, choral music, and capitalism, but find that there just aren't enough videos out there that combine all three?

The Brussels Journal has your fix.

Finally, my state is in the news, for predictable reasons:

WINTHROP, Maine -- Say what you will about Bill Randall, but he is no Bambi-loving tree-hugger. Inside the 72-year-old's cottage in central Maine, his hunter's freezer is packed with venison, carved by his own hand from deer he shot. When the ex-military man rests his head at night, it is to sleep under two of his most prized possessions -- a Remington .30-06 semi-automatic rifle and a Winchester 12-gauge shotgun.

But one thing he will not do, he said, is train those guns on a trapped bear. "You got these so-called hunters up here, you see, who lure these animals out with doughnuts and grease," Randall explained in his Maine drawl. "The bears spring a foot snare and get held in place for hours. Then these guys just stroll right up and shoot them. You call them sportsmen? Yeah? Well, I call them cowards."

Randall is a general in Maine's raging bear wars, a battle over culture, animal rights and, most notably, the true definition of a sportsman in this state known as much for stubborn New England pride as for its iconic furry black bears.

Seventeen states still allow bear hunting with hounds, and 11 allow the use of bait. But Maine is the last state in the union to permit the recreational trapping of bears -- a controversial sport that the state legislature will decide as soon as next week whether to outlaw.

The debate ahead of the vote is dramatically exposing the culture clash between wealthy, southern "new" Maine and the old rural north -- where the descendants of the state's frontiersmen and trappers still live alongside a thriving population of 23,000 black bears.

"Raging bear wars" overstates the case a bit, but they do have a point about the South/North split, although it would be more accurate to call it the I-95 Corridor/rest-of-the-state split. To whit:

Newspaper editorials and political cartoons in progressive Portland, where "Save Darfur" signs dot art gallery and cafe windows, are depicting trappers as cavemen and animal torturers while recalling Maine bears in the benign images of Gentle Ben.

As a resident of progressive Portland, I can attest to this. I don't hunt or trap, so I'm not going to be affected by this no matter which way it goes, but it seems that there's a rational debate to be had. Portland's lefties, though, are the same as those anywhere else: They'd rather insult you than argue. It's easier, I guess. Their view of the environment is that it's this great thing that should sit around unused 51 weeks out of the year until they take that backpacking trip in August, and if you disagree then you're some sort of emotionally stunted manchild who probably hits his wife and doesn't even like wine bars. Which I am of course, but that's, you know, beside the point.

At any rate, I side with the bear trappers on this one, because it's an obvious first step to banning bear hunting in general, which there's no need for.

I'd be curious where the AoS hunting community comes down on this issue.

Posted by: AndrewR at 08:13 AM | Comments (60)
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Apparently he's trying to one-up Bruce Willis. This ain't no PG-13 footage, AICN crows, and by golly, it's not. It's hard R. Really bloody and gory.

On the other hand, a bit cheap looking and low-energy. But it doesn't look bad. And I like the philosophy of brutal realism it espouses: Responding to what appear to be Christian missionaries or other good Samaritans going into the war-torn Burma jungles to change things, Rambo says, "You're not going with weapons? You're not changing nothin'."

Ah, well. I hated Rambo but I think I'm alone in having liked Rambo III. I'll see it. Pretty much it has the production values and plot of a Friday the 13th movie -- Jason Joins Delta Force -- but hell, it's cathartic to see the bad guys get theirs. We don't see enough of that in real life, alas.

So the last Rocky was called "Rocky Balboa," the last Rambo "John Rambo." Coming soon: the eagerly-awaited Sundance production "Marion Cobretti."

Thanks to Slublog.

Posted by: Ace at 04:01 PM | Comments (65)
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Eureka.

Inventor Joanne Drysdale claims it can give multiple, back-to-back orgasms lasting up to a minute a time - and it does not even touch the skin.

What, no beater bar?

The 49-year-old former toolmaker was cleaning her carpets when she came up with the idea for Vortex, which sells for £35 through lovehoney.co.uk.

She saw how a piece of rubber that had got caught in the nozzle was gently resonating in the air flow. She also felt a soft stimulation to her fingertips as she tried to remove the rubber.

Funny how the spirit of invention strikes, isn't it?

One moment, you're removing a clog from your vacuum hose, and the next, you're buck naked and carving little shapes out of PVC tubing.

Pic of the device at the link.

Posted by: LauraW. at 02:49 PM | Comments (84)
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Strangely enough, actual Americans who owe back taxes will continue to be hounded by the INS. Illegal immigrants, however, are on a "pathway to super-duper-special citizenship" which disobligates them the laws the rest of us live by.

If you're thinking that flat-rate $5000 fine would cover it anyway, guess again-- Mel Martinez is looking to get that dramatically reduced if not removed entirely.

Saxby Chambliss and Lindsey Graham, the Robin* to McCain's Batman**, are both being heckled.

In unrelated but related news, Basra "set to disintegrate" as Iranian-funded militias take over.

Remember 2002? Remember the talk of the permanent Republican majority, and Bush's bold gambles which would, it was presumed, pay off not only in the debased coin of political power but in the more precious gem of increased US security?

Good times, good times. It's like recalling a wonderful childhood dream.

* FWIW, I think Burt Ward did a better job of filling out the green bikini bottoms.

** Bruce Wayne just called to say "I'm Batman. McCain is, at best, the Space Monkey Gleep."

Posted by: Ace at 01:54 PM | Comments (67)
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Due to low raings, The Apprentice will not be part of NBC's upcoming schedule.

Rosie O'Donnell immediately said, "Trump is a loser with a self-destructive personality who gets no ratings and is just a slob, I mean seriously, can you imagine poor Ivanka having to look at that naked every night? No wonder she left him."

She then offered her theory that the damage supposedly caused by the Jonestown flood was in fact due to a "a series of controlled demolitions." "It just seems to me," she continued, "that this was the first time water every destroyed wood and brick. Think about it-- would you rather fall into a pool of water or a pool of wood and bricks? Water is soft; wood and bricks are hard. It's science. Google it!"

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, the show became increasingly repetitive and unwatchable. It was sad to watch Trump fall from the soaring heights third-story-walkups of television entertainment he had acheived.

On the other hand, it was fun to write Apprentice parodies.

Posted by: Ace at 01:43 PM | Comments (15)
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See-Dub thinks he sees a pattern developing-- instead of very small one to five man terrorist squads, companies of fifty or even two hundred terrorists are attacking isolated American outposts in hopes of killing, and especially capturing, US troops.

As he notes, it's a high risk strategy for both sides. If the Americans can hold out long enough, the terrorists will quickly be obliterated by reinforcements, airstrikes, and attack copters.

Posted by: Ace at 12:54 PM | Comments (12)
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Beth sends this video. Caution: I just became 40% more gay by watching it. (So I'm up to 14% gay -- that means I'm still all right, well away from that critical 20% threshhold, so back off, haters.)

Beth notes this comment a YouTube viewer.

yeah the wild west was a crazy place, filled with half naked oiled mustachioed men gyrating in sychronistic movement while belting out incoherant refrains, where women in danger of falling out of their blouses had sex with mechanical bulls because the men were to busy lathering crisco on each other and where utter ridiculousness prevailed. that truly was what it was like for Life At The Outpost.

iÂ’m sending this movie to my mother.

steve_in_hb doesn't understand the fuss:

How can that be considered a gay video? Mustaches, jeans, leather, muscles, cowboy hats -- all manly stuff.

Also manly: naming your obviously gay Village People knockoff act the "Skatt Brothers."

I'm really hoping a couple of those guys are actually named "Skatt," but I kinda doubt it.

Posted by: Ace at 12:01 PM | Comments (25)
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WTF are you people all het up about? Amnesty-whassis?

I checked the front page of Google News U.S., and there's nothing there about it.
And if it's not on the front page of Google News U.S., it's no big shakes.

Duhh. Dolts.

Here. Calm yourselves.

Wouldn't a pudding-cup be nice right now? One Jello-brand vanilla pudding cup contains 17% of your RDA for creamy goodness.

Posted by: LauraW. at 05:30 AM | Comments (81)
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Viva La Raza!

After laboring in obscurity for decades, groups such as the National Council of La Raza, the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, and the National Immigration Forum are virtually being granted veto power over perhaps the biggest domestic issue coming before Congress this year. Organizations that represent what is now the nation's largest minority group are beginning to achieve power commensurate with their numbers.

Gracias al Gabriel por el "link."

I may be part Mexican, but that's about the extent of my Spanish.

If Jack M.'s post below doesn't make it clear enough, this story should - John McCain's presidential campaign is over. The Maverick™ may try to spin this legislation as pro-enforcement, but the fact that three of the most anti-enforcement lobbying organizations in the United States were granted veto power over it puts the lie to his talking points.

Posted by: Slublog at 05:54 PM | Comments (190)
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