From Jordan:

"The Light At The End Of The Palestinian Tunnel"

I picked that one because I agreed with it. But most of the rest of them -- especially from the Arab world outside of Palestine, which can afford to view Palestinians as disposable walking corpses in their greater struggle against Israel and the West -- resort to typically crude Muslim conspircy-theorizing, with Jews and Americans masterminding the violence.

One wonderful little cartoon displays "The Pride" of Palestine yesterday -- a Palestinian child pointing an Uzi at a Jewish child -- contrasted with "The Shame" of Palestine today -- a Palestinian child pointing an Uzi at another Palestinian child.

Um, perhaps it will take these subhumans another 1000 years to comprehend it is the thinking of wantonly killing Jewish children as a point of "Pride" that has led, inevitably, to wantonly killing Palestinian children as well.

Thanks to Larwyn.

Posted by: Ace at 05:54 PM | Comments (94)
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And this guy says he's not sure if he belives in evolution. We seem to be witnessing random mutations here on a daily basis.

Now he's claiming he decided to switch his vote to a "Nay" on closure because, after seeing it was thoroughly defeated, it occurred to him at that moment, and at no other prior moment, "the country is just not ready" for amnesty without security yet.

He had this epiphany based on his fellow Senators' voting it down. And not, you know, on thousands of Americans calling him to tell him that over the past few weeks.

Senator "Fredo" Brownback.

While you're at Hot Air, early reports two bombers have been arrested, and a a handrwriting expert says Paris Hilton is, if you can believe such a thing, intellectually stunted.

Posted by: Ace at 05:36 PM | Comments (24)
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Okay, no, not those sorts of dwarves. But it's really called the National Dwarf Games.

Here are some Young Little People in a race:

Kinda nice.

Before you giggle, little people conferences are notorious for drunken debauchery and rampant hooking-up.

And you jerkoffs are sitting at home reading this stupid blog.

Thanks to genghis.

Posted by: Ace at 05:01 PM | Comments (45)
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A mash-up of a rap by L'Trimm about cars and Gary Numan's Cars, plus, more towards the end, the Beatles' Drive My Car.

Thanks to steve_from_hb. I think. Because the only part I think I really like is the Gary Numan Cars riff, which I just like anyway. Drive My Car is eh, but it's completely shoehorned into the mash-up and doesn't mix into it well at all.

Update: Okay, at the end, he mashes Cars with Drive My Car and it's kind of cool. Plus, the rap is growing on me.

From this DJ guy. Try clicking that if you get an error from the embedded player, which I'm getting.

Theory: You can mix that Cars riff into virtually anything and make it sound 40% cooler.

Just a working theory.

Another Link: I'm not sure if that odeon link just sucks or if it's getting too much traffic. steve suggests this alternate link to the song, but that's also not working for me.

I needs me my Bunny and Tigrah.

Posted by: Ace at 04:51 PM | Comments (80)
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He jerks one out into the cheap seats.

And then a teammate helps him jerk one out into the dugout.

Thanks to steve_in_hb.

Posted by: Ace at 03:45 PM | Comments (47)
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One of the few things I remember from college was the wonderful versifying of famous (seriously! -- people study him and write thesis papers on him) Roman poet Catullus.

Green's translation should encourage readers of all kinds to read or re-read Catullus, one of the greatest and most influential of all classical poets.

Born in the provincial northern town of Verona sometime around 84 B.C.E., Catullus died in Rome, possibly of consumption, about thirty years later. He was an inspiration for the Augustan poets of the subsequent generation: Horace, Virgil, Propertius, and Ovid all look back to his work. So do many later European and American poets: Catullus's sparrow poems, for instance, have inspired many English imitations and acts of poetic homage, from John Skelton's remarkable poem "Phyllyp Sparowe" (written around 1500), to Carol Muske-Dukes's collection Sparrow (2003).

Catullus came from a wealthy family; unlike Virgil and Horace, he seems to have had no need to cultivate a rich patron to support him while writing poetry. His father was friendly with Julius Caesar and often invited him to dinner. Catullus wrote several vicious attacks on Caesar, which suggest that his military campaigns in Britain and Gaul are being criminally mismanaged by his chief engineer Mamurra, and that they are motivated by revolting avarice and greed on the part of Caesar himself, who is a "voracious/and shameless gut." Catullus also sneers at Caesar's bisexual promiscuity: "They're well matched, that pair of shameless buggers,/Bitch-queens both of them, Caesar and Mamurra" (Green's translation).

It gets worse, believe me.

My friend chose Catullus as the subject of his final term paper. I was so jealous at his brilliance. I did some gay one on Cicero. He seemed to have a lot more fun with his.

Here are some. I dedicate these to Larry "Super-Spy" Johnson, especially Catullus97. And they're quite real, and very accurate translations. Very Strong Content Warning For Extreme Profanity And Strong Sexual Content. more...

Posted by: Ace at 02:50 PM | Comments (54)
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I got an A-. They all seemed pretty easy, but I guess they weren't, as I booted at least two of them.

I think I blew the one about the final velocity of a falling stone. I kept thinking that 1/2 should be part of the expression (and thus the answer), but I now realize the 1/2 enters it when you're talking about distance covered. 1/2 (g)(t)(t). I think.

So there's one I blew. I kinda think I blew another one by not picking my first answer, which seemed too obvious, instead chosing a more unfamiliar term which seemed more "sciencey."

Posted by: Ace at 02:21 PM | Comments (50)
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If you are like me, you often find that in times of trouble and uncertainty you seek guidance and comfort from sources of spiritual purity. Luckily for me, I am often able to find these souces of inspiration on Nick at Nite after I've finished watching Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld.

So it is that I have reverted to form, by asking myself "in the wake of the terror attacks in Scotland, what would my hero, Cmdr. Montgomery Scott, do?"

Luckily, as I meditated upon this question, the answer came to me in a Star Trek: Original Series episode called "A Taste of Armageddon".

The relevant passage from the Book of Scotty is as follows:

And so Scotty said to McCoy: "The best diplomat that I know is a fully loaded phaser bank!" And McCoy nodded, for he knew that it was good advice, even though he was a Doctor, dammit, and not a scary smart former CIA operative.

Here's to ya, Cmdr. Scott. Set phasers on kill.

Posted by: Jack M. at 02:00 PM | Comments (64)
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Warned three times through a Basque newspaper which frequently carries such warnings by separtists.

Thanks to Dave in Texas, who continues making Demotivational posters about Reid, Graham, and Voinovich.

Oh, and here's something: Peruvians eat guinea pigs by the handful, like they were fuzzy, squirming adorable Raisinettes.

At least they're not fucking them.

Posted by: Ace at 01:50 PM | Comments (16)
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Funny.

We want a pitcher!
Not an belly-itcher!
By Allah's might, belly-itchers shall
BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL!!!

The Nose On Your Face has a coup of its own -- the Islamic Rage Boy advice column. And more here.

He's also selling Islamic Rage Boy t-shirts and knicknacks through Cafe Press.

More: Islamic Rage Boy Haikus.

Posted by: Ace at 01:20 PM | Comments (11)
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