1. There is a great deal of steroid use in "pro wrestling."
1.a. There is also a great deal of use of other illicit drugs.
1.b. This is an accepted part of the "wrestling lifestyle."
1.c. "Pro wrestling" is not, as you might have thought, actually real. It's fake, if you can believe such a thing.
1.c.(i) They said so and everything.
1.c.(ii) So don't kick my ass for bursting your bubble.

2. The rampant steroid and drug use in the "wrestling" lifestyle is is covered up by the WWE.
2.a. Vince MacMahon himself injects steroids, or "juices."
2.a.(i) I mean, just look at him.
2.a.(ii) Seriously, look at him. It's pretty obvious when you think about it.

3. Steroids can produce a state called "steroid rage."
3.a. This may also be called "roid rage."
3.b. If you're Geraldo, you should call steroids "steeeeroids."

4. "Stone Cold Steve Austin" used to slug his wife around, but she now has a successful career as a tv commentator with expertise about how Stone Cold Steve Austin used to slug her around.
4.a. She used to be in the wrestling world, too, so she knows about the "wrestling lifestyle" (see 1.b., supra).

5. There "may be more to this mystery" as "this mystery continues to unfold."
5.a. The Wikipedia profile may be the key to "blowing this mystery wide open."
5.b. Shep Smith may have more on this "developing mystery" after this break.
5.c. Then again, he might not.
5.d. Also, global warming is real. Really. This is ol' Shep tellin' you that.
5.d.(i) And that's the name of that tune.

6. The immigration bill was defeated due to racism (Geraldo) or nativism (Kondracke), by a small group of "loud" extremists, but the rest of the country favored the bill.
6.a. Talk radio is bad.
6.b. Because talk radio panders to the lowest common denominator in the country.
6.c. Unlike, say, Geraldo Rivera's breathless reports that "pro wresting" is fake and there is rampant "steeroid" use in the "wrestling lifestyle" (see 1, 1.a., 1.b., and 3.b., supra).

I've had it.

Meanwhile... on liberal CNN, Anderson Cooper is doing a tick-tock of the failed London bombings and subsequent investigations. It doesn't add much to what most of us already know, but it does have the benefit of actually being news.

I think I'm giving up on FoxNews. The channel has become far too aggressively lowbrow, stupid, and carnival-barker-ish for my tastes. My tastes aren't exactly elevated, but I do have limits, and FoxNews has violated mine.

Almost every time I have the channel on I feel stupid, because it's so clearly chasing the stupid demographic. And I'm not part of that demographic, and do not wish to be treated as part of that demographic.

Maybe this is how it's been getting ratings all along and I never noticed. Well, I'm noticing now. I'd rather watch friggin' CNN than this televised coloring book for mental defectives.

I'll still watch Hume, Wallace, and Red Eye, of course. And O'Reilly every now and again, when he's on about some outrage or has a good guest. But as a general matter, that's it for me.

No wonder airports and hospitals and hotels run CNN and only CNN. There is political bias, and then there is bias against the aggressively, obnoxiously submoronic. I can't blame anyone for having the latter bias.

Now CNN Is Discussing (Vaguely) the Bombs' Construction and Detonation Problems: Ummm... shouldn't FoxNews sort of be reporting on terrorism?

Maybe on Pakistan?

Maybe on the Hezbollah bomb-maker caught in Iraq?

Maybe the terrorists killed Steve Benoit. Maybe that's what Shep Smith keeps hinting at.

Here's some news for Fox: Your core audience is conservative. Not retarded. I assure you they're not the same thing, though you seem to believe they are.

Oh, Right, That's Why I Don't Watch CNN: After promising that his show doesn't take sides, Cooper presents an "analysis" of the Libby pardon so breathtakingly one-sided I have trouble believing I just saw it on a "news" channel, labeled as "news" rather than opinion.

Posted by: Ace at 05:53 PM | Comments (356)
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I think it's the eighth. There are so many it's hard to keep track.

But they got him. I'm guessing Australia was a lay-over between London and Karachi.

What radical Islamists do with expensive medical training (almost entirely based on the acheivements of Western, non-Muslim civilization):

A suspected secret cell of foreign militants, believed to be linked to al-Qa'ida and using British hospitals as cover, are being questioned over the terrorist attacks in London and Glasgow.

Five of the eight people under arrest last night are said to be doctors. Another of those detained is the wife of one of the doctors, who is a medical assistant working for the NHS. The home of a sixth doctor is said to have been searched by police. Late last night an Australian television network reported that a suspect wanted in connection with the attacks had been arrested in Brisbane.

Attention has been focused on a group of nationals from the Middle East, who had not previously attracted the interest of security agencies.

Until now, cases of Islamist terrorism have involved mainly Muslims who were born and brought up in Britain. The alleged arrival of teams from abroad to carry out attacks, their identities unknown to the domestic law agencies, adds another dimension to the terrorist threat being faced in the United Kingdom.

Yes, what can possibly be done to stop Muslim terrorists from lawfully entering a country on visas? I can't think of anything, myself.

....

Further searches were carried out in Liverpool at the home of a man who had been arrested after being disabled with a taser gun after police surrounded his car. According to neighbours, the man was a doctor from India who worked at Halton Hospital in Cheshire. A colleague told the newspaper, Muslim News, that the man may have been detained because he was using the mobile telephone and internet account of another man who has recently left Britain. Last night Dr Asha's father, Jamil Asha, asked King Abdullah of Jordan to intercede on behalf of his son. He vehemently stressed to journalists in Amman that his son was not involved in any terrorist activity.

"All he wanted to do was get on with his life. He prays like any good Muslim but was certainly not a fanatic," said Mr Asha. "He was planning to visit us on 12 July. He called me three days ago to check the body sizes of his six brothers and two sisters. My son wanted to buy them gifts from Britain before his departure." Dr Asha's brother, Ahmed, said he was surprised by news of his arrest. "The first news we heard of this was broadcast by an Arabic satellite channel. It's nonsense because he has no terror connections."

Yes, all infidel lies and Zionist deceptions.

Posted by: Ace at 05:12 PM | Comments (17)
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Tricks are something a a whore does for money.

Thanks to OgreGunner.

I have to confront something about myself. I know it's totally teh ghey and stupid and for howdydoodat rubes, but... I think I kinda dig magic.

Posted by: Ace at 03:15 PM | Comments (25)
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$5 per sign. Buy nine, get the tenth one free.

Question:

Don't these signs, you know, usually come free from a candidate's campaign machine?

What kind of maniac do you have to be to buy your right to advertise on someone else's behalf?

And these Ron Paul supporters buying these things... um... how many are buying ten signs, and where the hell are they putting these ten signs?

Thanks to digital brownshirt.

I think I'm going to start selling Ron Paul merchandise on Cafe Press.

Posted by: Ace at 02:53 PM | Comments (33)
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"Excessive" sentence, he says.

President Bush commuted the sentence of former aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby Monday, sparing him from a 2 1/2-year prison term in the CIA leak case. Bush left intact a $250,000 fine and two years probation for Libby, according to a senior White House official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the decision had not been announced.

Bush's move came hours after a federal appeals panel ruled Libby could not delay his prison term in the CIA leak case.

Bush's statement:

I have said throughout this process that it would not be appropriate to comment or intervene in this case until Mr. LibbyÂ’s appeals have been exhausted. But with the denial of bail being upheld and incarceration imminent, I believe it is now important to react to that decision.

...

This case has generated significant commentary and debate. Critics of the investigation have argued that a special counsel should not have been appointed, nor should the investigation have been pursued after the Justice Department learned who leaked Ms. PlameÂ’s name to columnist Robert Novak. Furthermore, the critics point out that neither Mr. Libby nor anyone else has been charged with violating the Intelligence Identities Protection Act or the Espionage Act, which were the original subjects of the investigation. Finally, critics say the punishment does not fit the crime: Mr. Libby was a first-time offender with years of exceptional public service and was handed a harsh sentence based in part on allegations never presented to the jury.

Others point out that a jury of citizens weighed all the evidence and listened to all the testimony and found Mr. Libby guilty of perjury and obstructing justice. They argue, correctly, that our entire system of justice relies on people telling the truth. And if a person does not tell the truth, particularly if he serves in government and holds the public trust, he must be held accountable. They say that had Mr. Libby only told the truth, he would have never been indicted in the first place.

Both critics and defenders of this investigation have made important points. I have made my own evaluation. In preparing for the decision I am announcing today, I have carefully weighed these arguments and the circumstances surrounding this case.

...

I respect the juryÂ’s verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. LibbyÂ’s sentence that required him to spend thirty months in prison.

My decision to commute his prison sentence leaves in place a harsh punishment for Mr. Libby....

The Constitution gives the President the power of clemency to be used when he deems it to be warranted. It is my judgment that a commutation of the prison term in Mr. LibbyÂ’s case is an appropriate exercise of this power.

Our long national nightmare silly fantasia is over.

Suggestion: Bush should have reduced the fine to a more reasonable $50,000, which just so happens to be how much Sandy Berger was fined for stealing and destroying classified documents and lying about it to investigators (he wasn't charged for the latter, but subsequent revelations has made it clear he did just that).

Making the fine $50,000 would have been more in line with Libby's transgressions, and it would have made it harder for Democrats to argue against it. The penalty -- no jail time, $50,000, probation -- would have been so similar to Berger's that one could scarcely mention it without also mentioning Berger.

Posted by: Ace at 02:10 PM | Comments (82)
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Men's Vogue?

Men's Vogue?

What the hell is that?

The hair, up close, is peppered with tiny strands of blond. Chestnut brown and so finely trimmed, mellifluous, smooth, and feathery, it could almost be a weave, the Platonic ideal as imagined by the Hair Club for Men. Along with the piercing blue eyes, slashing V-shaped smile, and a shimmering burgundy shirt tucked into stonewashed Levi's resting low on the hips, the hair completes the man: John Edwards, a populist Adonis, a golden god of a Southern Democrat.

Ah. I see.

Posted by: Ace at 12:53 PM | Comments (143)
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The cashier became suspicious when he pointed out a price-tag on the store's wall and attempted to buy the business and all of its inventory for "three bits."

Posted by: Ace at 12:43 PM | Comments (11)
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Mildly amusing, if I still cared about the Simpsons, which I don't. But maybe you do.

Artist's rendering... still looks like the same crappy store.

I wonder if they're going to be all PC and make sure the 11 or so stores picked for this makeover are among the only 11 not owned by Indian-Americans.

More pics (real ones) at Wizbang.

Thanks to Ken and Jiggity for those.

Posted by: Ace at 12:15 PM | Comments (30)
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Here's a good example of why Hollywood is so stupid. They had to retire the Original Series cast in favor of the Next Generation cast because the TOS guys were too damn expensive. So out with Kirk and Spock and in with the lame Picard and camel-toe psychic.

Then those cast-members became too expensive -- and their movies made no money -- so they began playing with the idea of a "Star Fleet Academy" movie, where they'd cast young, very cheap actors to play the TOS guys in their youths.

Sort of a clever idea. Economically, I mean. You get Kirk without Shatner's cost. (Alas, also without Shatner, but then, he is getting rather old to be zooming around the galaxy.)

Okay, so basic, realistic economics of a series that continues to lose money but cost a lot to make says you need to go cheaper with your acting talent.

So who are they getting?

Matt Damon for Kirk, Adrian Brody for Spock, and Gary Sinise for McCoy. At least they're having "serious" talks with those cats.

Clarification: I mentioned the "Star Fleet Academy" idea as the background for this project. Clearly that concept has evolved. None of these men are close to being of academy age; they're about the same age of the original actors in TOS. So obviously they've changed the concept to just be the first flight of the Enterprise with an (adult) Captain Kirk in command.

So, obviously, this is not the long-discussed Academy project. It's just TOS -- a couple of years before the opening of the actual show.

...

I'm not going to go super hardcore conservative here and pretend that Damon doesn't have some talent. I'll also note he looks, slightly, like Shatner. And politics wise, at least he's balanced by the conservative leaning Sinise.

But how the hell did we go from trying to slash the budget of these movies by bringing in raw, cheap young talent to casting three heavyweights, all of whom have Oscars or Oscar nominations?

And... um, you're casting guys who are not "young" versions of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, but who are... in the general age range of the actors who first played them.

Eh. I have to admit I'm kind of interested in the idea -- I want my Kirk, Spock, and McCoy back -- I'm just a little bewildered why they're chasing guys for the roles that they will have to pay a fortune to, especially for sequels.

Then again: I never noticed it before, but Sinise has McCoy's eyes. Or rather, the orbits of his eyes, which is what you notice.

And admittedly, TOS never showed the moment Kirk first took command of the Enterprise, or met Spock.

Okay, I'm on board with this. This is why Hollywood is so brilliant.

Really... Sinise as McCoy is inspired. Has the eyes, has the weary demeanor, has the southern accent.

I'm against Damon as Kirk, not on political grounds (though that doesn't help), but because Damon looks like a boy-man. He's kinda got that "Iowa farmboy" thing going, but emphasis on the boy. Kirk looked like an adult; Damon doesn't. And clearly they're not going for a truly young Kirk; they're just going for a few years before the opening of TOS. So Kirk should look like a man. They need someone else.

Brody's a decent actor, but, okay: The nose. He carries off that nose well enough, but we already know from 40 years of watching that Spock does not have a big honker.

We don't need doppelgangers to play these guys, but Damon's too much the callow man-boy and Brody's got that great big beak. Keep Sinise, dump the other two.

Posted by: Ace at 11:53 AM | Comments (115)
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Must have gotten a call from his New York Money Men.

According to Brigadier General Kevin Bergner, IranÂ’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps has been using operatives from the radical Islamist terrorist group Hezbollah to train Iraqi Shiite militias, who in turn are responsible for the murder of American soldiers.

In addition, according to Brig. Gen. Bergner, groups of up to sixty Iraqi militants at a time have been taken out of Iraq and brought to Iran for military training at three camps near Teheran, where they have been instructed in the use of mortars, rockets, and improvised explosive devices. The Iranian government has also provided up to $3 million a month to fund attacks on U.S. troops and allies in Iraq.

In fact, Brig. Gen. Bergner also provided new evidence this morning that Iranian operatives helped plan a sophisticated ambush in January that resulted in the abduction and murder of five American soldiers.

These revelations should be a wake-up call to the United States about the threat posed by the Islamic Republic of Iran—as well as a reminder why Iraq is, in fact, the central front of the global war on terror.

...

The United States government has a responsibility to use all instruments at its disposal to stop these terrorist attacks against our soldiers and allies in Iraq—including keeping open the possibility of using military force against the terrorist infrastructure inside Iran.

Although no one desires a conflict with Iran, the fact is that the Iranian government by its actions has declared war on us. And while I sincerely hope that diplomacy alone can convince the Iranian government to stop these attacks, our diplomatic efforts are only likely to succeed if backed by a credible threat of force.

Thanks to someone.

Posted by: Ace at 11:35 AM | Comments (6)
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