UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Contest? Most retarded Hugo Chavez declarations?

I sense something happening, in the comment thread. It's as if a million morons suddenly cried out as one.

...

In a stunning announcement, Venezuelan Dictator President Hugo Chavez has postponed his decision to change the nation's clocks by a half hour on Monday so that "children would have an extra half hour of daylight to go to school".

Venezuelans seemed a little confused about what they were expected to do. Chavez himself seemed confused, initially instructing them all to move their clocks forward a half hour, even though to achieve the stated objective, you would have to move your clock back.

Chavez had said the shift would allow children to wake up for school in daylight instead of before sunrise, but acknowledged that some people might claim he was crazy.

Crazy?

Crazy like a fox.

When you are confronting the imperialist United States time zone hegemony (and we all know the real reason for daylight savings time, don't we?), you can't show weakness.

Chavez has dismissed criticism that moving the time only a half hour was quirky, questioning why the world had to follow a scheme of hourly divisions that he said was dictated by the imperial United States.

UPDATED: Chavez reveals more secret plans in the comments section:

2 I hearby also decree that, henceforth, all Venezuelan rivers will now flow upstream, as opposed to the usual downstream, as dictated by the imperial United States.
Posted by: Hugo Chavez at September 24, 2007 03:32 PM (IHbof)

4 Plus, I'm revoking that damned "law of gravity" thing.
Posted by: Hugo Chavez at September 24, 2007 03:36 PM (tVbxd)

Posted by: Dave In Texas at 11:25 AM | Comments (30)
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The site he mined to provide stone for the Temple expansion in 19B.C., discovered on the site of a proposed school building in a Jerusalem suburb.

They find such cool stuff in old places. In Texas the oldest things we ever discovered were an abandoned dirt mine near Lufkin and the seat lid from an outhouse near the Alamo.

Cross-posted at Splitters.

Posted by: Dave In Texas at 10:29 AM | Comments (10)
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What a farce. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has the following to say, and he can't believe you'd think anything else:

People in Iran are very joyous, happy people," he told a National Press Club audience that questioned him about the arrests of students, journalists and women. "They're very free in expressing what they think."

He said women in Iran were "the freest women in the world ... They're active in every level of society."

Kim Jong-il just phoned in to say, "No! My women are the freest in the world!"

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at 10:03 AM | Comments (34)
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I'm down here hanging out with steve_in_hb, not_steve_in_hb, and neither_steve_in_hb_nor_not_steve_in_hb. Ate a preposterous amount of steak (and lobster, and tuna, and sausage). Now I'm headed back up to NYC where I can blog a bit but probably will be taking most of the day off.

Sorry, just having too much fun to rush back to Boston.

Posted by: Ace at 09:32 AM | Comments (15)
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A federal district court judge has responded in verse to an inmate's lawsuit. The inmate sued his prison's kitchen staff because they keep putting eggs in his meals, despite the inmate's repeated requests for them not to. He protests that he doesn't eat eggs and sought a preliminary injunction against the prison.

Judge James R. Muirhead was apparently inspired when the inmate included a hard-boiled egg with his filing. Muirhead ordered:

I do not like eggs in the file.
I do not like them in any style.
I will not take them fried or boiled.
I will not take them poached or broiled.
I will not take them soft or scrambled
Despite an argument well-rambled.

No fan I am
Of the egg at hand.
Destroy that egg!
Today! today!
Today I say! without delay!

SO ORDERED (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

h/t to Jeralyn Merritt of TalkLeft.

I have been informed that Cuffy posted on this the other day. Good for him/her/it.

Another example of judicial humor can be found here, where a different federal judge referenced Billy Madison in dismissing a motion.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at 09:06 AM | Comments (23)
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A few weeks ago I shared the news that immigrants have no rights in this country, according to a Tennessee county judge. Now, the Blount County Commission follows Judge Young into idiocy. I'll explain, but first let me catch you up.

The details are still a little unclear about what happened in Judge Dale Young's courtroom on September 7th. We know that Ana Calixto was seeking an order of protection from her husband when Judge Young dismissed her petition. Calixto and the husband are in the middle of divorce proceedings and Calixto claims to have filed reports of domestic violence in the past.

Then things get a little murky. Calixto and unnamed witnesses claim that Young asked her and her husband what their immigration status was before telling her to "Go back to Nicaragua" and kicking her case out of court. Calixto claims to be here legally with TPS status, having received her most recent DHS approval on August 8. Since no one's mentioned the husband except to say he's from Mexico, I think it's reasonable to assume that he's here illegally.

These claims are being met with silence from the judge and his office. Apparently, it was standard practice not to have a transcript of proceedings in Judge Young's courtroom, so no record of what was said exists.

Last week, the Tennessee Court of the Judiciary began an investigation into Judge Young's conduct. The Court of the Judiciary investigates and disciplines judges for misconduct on the bench. The start of an investigation shouldn't be viewed as proof of wrongdoing, but it does emphasize that this type of thing is taken seriously, at least when it makes the papers.

Here's where the Blount County Commission shamefully misses the point and perpetuates the idiocy of Judge Young. At their regular meeting last week, the commissioners voted on a motion to endorse Judge YoungÂ’s refusal to hear Calixto's petition. That motion has been "tabled" for the time being, but for all the wrong reasons:

“I want to personally commend his stand,” Samples said, adding that he had heard her legal status was in doubt. “She did not meet the test of law ... My stand is that is a question about illegal immigration. Judge Young stands for what the majority of Blount Countians stand for.”

Commissioner Wendy Pitts Reeves, who talked about working with victims of domestic violence in her job as a counselor, said she understood there are strong feelings about illegal immigration in the county, but that, to her knowledge, Ana Calixto was a legal resident.

“Until I see otherwise, I can’t support this,” Reeves said. “The newspaper said she was a legal resident.”
...
“While I support Judge Young’s decision, it’s hard for me to vote on anything when I don’t have all the facts,” [Commissioner] French said.

“If she’s not an illegal immigrant, I can’t support this,” [Commissioner] Murrell said.

All of these people miss what should be obvious: a person's immigration status is irrelevant for purposes of determining standing to seek an order of protection. It is similarly irrelevant for purposes of making civil suits or seeking other judicial remedies.

Assuming for a minute that Calixto is an illegal immigrant (as unlikely as that may be), do these people actually think that illegals can get no protection from the courts? Is a victim of domestic abuse to be left out in the cold because she's an illegal? I doubt very much that the "majority of Blount Countians" would support prohibiting a victim of domestic abuse from seeking protection from the courts. Can that be true?

I'm curious how far these people think we can stretch their newfound relegation of illegals to subhuman standards of justice? If I assault an illegal immigrant, do you think they'll prevent the illegal from suing me for damages? What if I enslave one?

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at 08:48 AM | Comments (70)
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For the first time in over 30 years the United Auto Workers has called a nationwide strike against an automaker. GM workers went off the job and onto the picket lines earlier today.

The UAW has 73,000 members who work for GM at 82 U.S. facilities, including assembly and parts plants and warehouses.

It remained to be seen what effect the strike would have on the automaker and consumers. The company has sufficient stocks of just about every product to withstand a short strike, according to Tom Libby, senior director of industry analysis for J.D. Power and Associates.

Charlie Coppinger, who has worked at GM's powertrain plant in Warren for 31 years, walked the picket line along with a handful of others shortly after the deadline passed.
The 51-year-old Rochester Hills resident said he hoped a strike could be settled quickly, but that union members were on the line to back the union and its bargainers.

Obviously these are tough times for the US auto industry and thatÂ’s going to impact workers. I am not sure how crippling an already wounded company is in the long term interest of employees but I am not a union guy or an auto worker.

Regardless, the most troubling part of this action is the opportunity it will present for Democratic presidential candidates to pander even more to labor. In fact, immediately upon hearing the news, John ‘Silky Pony’ Edwards was quoted as saying, “I’ll be in my bunk!”

Posted by: DrewM. at 08:31 AM | Comments (50)
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This is the kind of story we all like to see.

A 21 year old pregnant woman was walking home from her job at Applebee's, on a dark Gilbert street, when she was confronted by a purse snatcher:

"There was a guy kind of hidden in the bushes," she said.

"It looked like he had something," the victim said.

Police said Del Hoyo ran towards her and asked for a cigarette.

"I pulled knife out and pulled the blade open," she told CBS 5 News.

"He asked me if I had a phone. I just kept walking," she said.

Moments later, officers said he grabbed her arm.

"I had my arm through my purse. He put his arm through the purse and he was pulling me while swinging at me with his other arm," she said.

That's when the slashing started. She slashed and slashed at him, and when he wouldn't let go, she slashed some more.

Needing the rent money in her purse, the woman said she wouldn't give up.

"I was in fear for my life and my child," she said.

Finally, the injured and bleeding twerp ran off to his car, followed by our knife wielding, pregnant heroine, who still had the presence of mind to get his license plate number before dialing 911.

She states in the video (you can see at the link):

"When the police took me to identify him, he was already in the ambulance, and they were pretty eager to get him to the hospital".

The man, Filemon Del Hoyo, 22, was transported to Scottsdale Osborne Hospital with severe lacerations.

Found via Crime Scene Kansas City

Posted by: Open Blog at 08:18 AM | Comments (43)
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With all the attention being focused on Iranian nut job Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s media tour of NY this week, it’s important we don’t forget the Democrats are likely to try an end run around amnesty opponents and pass the so called “DREAM Act”.

ABC News has gotten its copy of the talking points and runs a story focusing on how this isnÂ’t about giving amnesty to millions of illegal aliens. No you stupid rubes, itÂ’s all about providing more recruits for the Army.

The Senate will debate a proposal this week billed by some as a creative solution to two of the nation's hot-button issues -- immigration and the Iraq war.

If passed, the Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors Act promises a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants who volunteer for military service.

Of course, not everyone is overjoyed at this opportunity to become a citizen, not if it means becoming a killbot in the Bushittler war machine.

"I characterize it as a defector draft," said Jose Lara, an immigration reform advocate.

Â…

"We're looking for any option -- anything," Lara said, "and what they're giving us is, 'Go in to the military, die in Iraq, possibly come back maimed and then possibly gain citizenship.'"

Now, I donÂ’t doubt that there are some illegal aliens who came here unwittingly as children and consider themselves patriotic Americans who would love to serve what they feel is their country. I think we should allow them that opportunity and upon completion of their term of service, welcome them as citizens who have truly earned that distinction.

What I don’t think we should be doing is handing out citizenship just because a person went to college for two years, which is the ‘other path’ the article doesn’t focus much on. But let’s be honest, that’s the real goal here. Call me crazy but I think a lot more people will take the college option. This isn’t such a far fetched notion considering there are many more America citizens in college than there are in the military. Why would the illegal cohort be so different?

An easy way for the media to test the Democrats real goal here is ask them if they will drop the college option and just pass a service for citizenship bill. Of course the media wonÂ’t ask that question and the Democrats wouldnÂ’t do it anyway.

So while we rightfully remind people who the Iranian madman really is, letÂ’s not forget the Democrats are still working hard to subvert the rule of law here at home.

Posted by: DrewM. at 07:28 AM | Comments (22)
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One of my favorite sports (yes, I need a life!) is to mock Europeans for their growing pussification/ Well, I have another more...

Posted by: Open Blog at 06:07 AM | Comments (23)
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