As you can imagine, this vid has provoked outrage on the left. Remember, "demonization" was long ago redefined as "using people's own words to establish their true political beliefs."

Posted by: Ace at 05:59 AM | Comments (69)
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We've got over 100 moron runners ready to go. If you've already signed up, make sure your bracket is completely filled out by tip off of today's first game, which is around 12:20 EDT.

Details on how to sign up are below the fold.

If you find yourself goofing off today and paying more attention to the games than anything else, don't worry, you aren't alone.

College basketball's "March Madness'' may cost employers as much as $1.7 billion in productivity, according to an annual survey by Chicago-based placement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc.

The figure is based on the 37.3 million workers expected to participate in office pools during the National Collegiate Athletic Association's men's basketball tournament, and the 1.5 million expected to watch games online from their desks.

Posted by: DrewM at 05:33 AM | Comments (42)
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Note well the question mark. As they say, no one on the internet knows if you're a dog, or even a basic-training wash-out branded "unfit" who lied about being an Army Ranger and then lied further about his unit committing atrocities in Iraq as standard operating procedure, which of course got him glowing attention from the anti-war left, who publicized his anti-military slurs like the good patriots they are, and then further scammed the Veterans Administration out of benefits with a fake military ID and then was sent to prison for use of a forged document.

So this isn't necessarily Jesse MacBeth. It is nevertheless someone purporting to be Jesse MacBeth, and writing in the sub-retarded style one would expect of him. I guess I'm guided here by the words of Malone (Sean Connery) in David Mamet's Untouchables script: "Who would claim to be that, who was not?"

What does he have to say for himself? Well, it's pretty surprising, really. MacBeth -- or rather "MacBeth," for now -- takes full responsibility for his self-serving deceits and his vicious libels against men he served with in Iraq... or rather would have served with in Iraq, had he been able to hack the Army for more than 44 days. He is utterly apologetic, forthright, and genuinely sorry for the pain he caused real soldiers.

Psych. Shyah, right. MacBeth -- or, "MacBeth" -- is up to the same old MacBeth tricks, whoring for attention, wallowing in self-pity, and telling further lies about the military.

I'm adding paragraph breaks just to make better sense of this dog's breakfast of psychosis and hatred. The whole thing is written in one big jumble.

first off let me say i had no ideah it would get this big i had no ideah it would become internation and that was not my intention.

i simply wanted to get back at the army for the way they treated me in basic training.

basic is hard but for me it was even harder. i dont exspect any of you to believe any of this because my credabilty is already shot but here is the truth. take it are leave it.

iam muslim and have been most of my life. my family was muslim. i grew up in saudi arabia for the first seven years of my life. i joined the army an american muslim proud of my country and wanting to make a difference i knew that i could be an asset to operation in iraq because iam muslim i speak arabic, i can read it and write it, and i know the culture. i was also homeless at that point in my life.

i joined the army a proud man.

but it seemed the army wasent so proud to have me. the first week of basic everything went ok besides being smoked and drilled to exhaustion there were no out of orinary issues. intil during the secound one of my drill dgt (ds martin) appraoched me in the training bay in front of all the other iet soldiers in my platoon took the quran off my bunk spit in it and threw it across the room yelling "muslims dont belong in my army" and madde me crawl in his words" like the muslim dog i was" to get my holy book.

i was upset but again i wanted so bad to be part of something. all my life i was eigther in grouphomes homeless are in jail. i wanted to change that and this was my chance so i took the the racial slurs and religiouse slurs know that it wouold all end in 7 more weeks.

but it only got worse during the 3 week of basic in the few hrs that we get to sleep i was pulled down from my bunk by my drill sgt. i was on the top bunk so the fall took the wind from me. he a and a couple of other iet soldiers beat me badly strip my cloths from me and tied me to the poll naked in the training bay.

for the next 2 days i was tied there naked. pages of my quran were ripped out and shoved down my throat. bacon was shoved down my thrat. cold water was dumped on me. i was called hajji, sand 'n-word', and several other slurs. i was repeatedly punched kicked and spit on while i was tied i did not sleep for the days i was tied to the poll and i had to urniated on myself. i had open wounds and cuts on my face and all over mybody the only nourishment i got were the words of allah.

that was enough to get me through it.

on the mourning of the third day i was rleased told to shower and clean the bay. i still dident know why they singled me out. i was on there side a black muslim american. trying to help and make a difference. but to them i was just a muslim i was just the enemy. i was hurt and scared and i began to hate them for the things they did to me.

the drill sgt knew i was not gonna keep quite about what happen so he threatened me he said that if i said anything he would kill me and make it look like an accident on the feild.

at the point in my life i dident care anymore what he did to me.

i went to the chaplin and told him what happened. he dident belive me despite how beaten and battered my body was despite showing him my ripped and torn quran. i wasnt to the battilion comander and he braught in the drill sgt martin. i was afraid of him afriad of all of them. he dident belive me eigther his words were. "why shoul;d i believe you a pvt over a mant hat has 17yrs in the army and no blemish on his record" and i was sent away after drill sgt martin called me a liar several times.

later that night he stood me infrom of all the training platoons on sandhill and told them iam the enemy iam the reason why we are fighting my people were responable for 911

Strong words. Strong, badly misspelled words.

I really liked at the end how professional soldiers stood him up in front of the assembled platoons and said he was the real enemy they were fighting since 9/11. That just rings true to me, you know? It has that texture of reality and versimilitude that you usually don't find outside of Penthouse Forum.

I'm glad I got this scoop before Iraq Veterans Against the War could pounce on it. They're just queer for Jesse's True Two-Fisted Tales of Atrocities and Imperialism.

It seems rather absurd to even bothering asking questions of this luridly misspelled account, however: If he wanted to "get back" at those who abused him in basic training, why lie about being in Iraq and then lie about stuff other soldiers did? Here's an idea -- to get back at the soldiers who abused you, tell the true story of your genuine abuse at the hands of the actual abusers.

Nah, seems too complex. Yeah he was right the first time-- go up with the made-up shit that's easily disproven.

"And then we forced the children into a ditch,
and then shot them all with ich luge bullets...

"And then a beautiful, beautiful unicorn with magical
powers and golden hooves befriended me, for he
said I alone in my company was Pure and True.
And he told me his name was Shaenathir,
which means 'Dawn Racer' in the native tongue
of the Faeries, or Sidhe, as they call themselves.

"And then he asked if he could blow me,
on a 'cause of I'm so hot.
And I said, Sure. Why not.

"And now we're happily married.
I call my gay sex unicorn Mabel.
I pretend he's a girl,
because otherwise people might talk."

Ummm... Jesse MacBeth Creative Writing Contest?

Thanks to papa.

Posted by: Ace at 09:06 PM | Comments (82)
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We may have already met our geek quota for the day, but some of this stuff shouldn't wait.

First, ten of the stars will be on Letterman tonight, including my favs Lucy Lawless, Grace Park, and Tricia Helfer. Olmos, Bamber, McDonnell, Sackhoff, Callis, Hogan, and Douglas will also appear.

Second, SciFi has greenlit the Caprica prequel project pilot. SciFi is looking for ways to continue to benefit from the Galactica IP.

From executive producers Ronald D. Moore and David Eick, the new series is set 50 years before "BSG" and centers on rival families the Greystones and the Adamas as they thrive in the bustling, technology-driven world of the 12 Colonies that eventually creates the Cylons. As with any classic tales featuring two families, intrigue, romance and backstabbing will reign.

And don't forget, the fourth and final season premiers Friday, April 4th (I guess this means they're moving back to the old timeslot). Will they get to Earth? Duh, yo.

Little toaster happiness under the fold. more...

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at 07:46 PM | Comments (32)
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Sex with humans, at least. Plastic vaginas and giant space tentacle rapists still get their share.

Well, it took a while, but we finally have them right where we want them.

Pearl Harbor doesn't seem quite as funny now, does it?

apan is having a birth rate crisis - because the nation has gone off sex, it has been revealed.

A quarter of married couples in Japan have not made love in the past year, according to the World Health Organisation.

The country's birth rate is already among the lowest in the world and is falling even further.

Although there is no comparable data for other countries, earlier surveys suggest Japan is among the world's least sexually active nations.

...

On the brighter side, sex was most frequent among young married people in Japan.

The survey found that 42.2% of couples in their 20s who had lived together for less than five years had sex at least once a week.

Umm... that's still not all that great, is it?

Part of of the problem, according to experts, is that when couples even attempt intimacy, they tend to be interrupted by large-breasted Japanese swimsuit models kicking in a door-panel and attempting to squeeze their way in, as seen in the following educational video:
more...

Posted by: Ace at 06:41 PM | Comments (70)
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Rusty has the will and testament, and pronounces Osama dead.

Allah too wonders why all the references in the tape are not current, and why he does not, for example, mention the fifth anniversary of the invasion of Iraq since he, like all other Islamofascists, is just queer for anniversaries of Muslim defeats and triumphs.

The tape is littered with older references, such as to the cartoon controversy.

Experts also find indicia of non-contemporaneousness in Osama's sign-off, "Keep on truckin'," his use of the catchphrase "Morgan Fairchild-- yeah, that's the ticket!," numerous references to Twin Peaks including "Man, this is good pie" and "My log will have a secret to reveal later," and the fact that he's pictured wearing a Cutting Crew concert t-shirt over a Hobie Cat long-sleeve.

Cutting Crew? Oh yeah, an awful eulogy for an awful man.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 05:28 PM | Comments (41)
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Of course, of course.

A different kind of politician. Hope, change, shotguns. Some light race war.

Whatev's.

I had hoped to avoid Obama today. Damnit.

Thanks to DebH.

Posted by: Ace at 05:09 PM | Comments (29)
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Oh awesome! Economic stimulus notification, here we go!

*tearing along the three perforations... oops.. sorta nicked a corner. Not to worry, I'm sure I can piece it together if I have to.

Dear Dave in Texas:

(ok, it really says Dear Taxpayer, which I certainly am one of so I think we have a personal relationship)

We are pleased to inform you...

Oh, really, no more pleased than I am to be informed!!

that the United States Congress passed and President George W. Bush signed into law the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008 (this year!!1!), which provides for economic stimulus payments to be made to over 130 million American households (I gotta be one of those!!).

Oh yeah baby, I'm in like Flynn.

*reading further*

This seems to be a, what's the word, form letter? Nothing specific about my rebate amount.

*reads more*

nada

Wait, here's something.

For taxpayers with an adjusted gross income (AGI) of more than $75,000 (or more than $150,000 if married filing jointly), this payment will be reduced or phased out completely.

Excuse me? Reduced? Phased out completely??!

I hereby declare my official opposition to this reckless and foolhardy plan on the part of the Congress and President George W. Bush. This is insanity.

*ponders a temporary divorce...

Naaahh.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 04:30 PM | Comments (122)
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He's smart and he did a great job with The Rundown. Some of the best, crunchiest action sequences in years. Funny as hell, too.

Anyway... not a huge fan of Dune, but I can see it having some potential. And Berg, even though no one really knows of him (he just did The Kingdom, too, which I hear mixed stuff about) is pretty capable for an actor-turned-fledgling-director.

So it could turn out to be good.

Thanks to Mary.

Posted by: Ace at 02:49 PM | Comments (71)
Post contains 94 words, total size 1 kb.

In the form of a brief, simple test.

Thanks to Kevin.

Posted by: LauraW at 02:32 PM | Comments (46)
Post contains 15 words, total size 1 kb.