Further proof of my long-held theory: Hippies love brightly-painted buses.

Posted by: Ace at 03:14 PM | Comments (62)
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The early-eighties cartoon movie I mean.

Growing up, I think most of us experienced four painful disappointments that shook us out of childhood's innocence:

1) Santa Claus isn't real

2) life is pain

3) dreams are lies

and

4) Heavy Metal.

How could something that seemed so awesome turn out to be nothing but an alien Harold Ramis doing blow and an orange John Candy running around with his dork hanging out?

Despite the fact that the movie sucked preposterously, even discounting for the unrealistic expectations of a sixth grader, I still like the clips of the movie. All of that initial promise, none of the the grinding existential pain of realizing pretty much everything sucks.
more...

Posted by: Ace at 01:25 PM | Comments (67)
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But it is funny.

Content Warning for the obscene chorus-- "Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes."

As Allah says, this is likely to be chanted to Kobe at every road game, every time he misses a basket or gets a ball stolen or fouls out or... does anything, actually.

Posted by: Ace at 12:10 PM | Comments (31)
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He cited an unnamed "high-ranking moustache with contacts in the Israeli military establishment" as the basis for this prediction.

The anonymous facial hair further specifies the attack would likely come post-election but pre-inauguration.

The Arab world would be "pleased" by Israeli strikes against Iranian nuclear facilities, he said in an interview with The Daily Telegraph.

"It [the reaction] will be positive privately. I think there'll be public denunciations but no action," he said.

Mr Bolton, an unflinching hawk who proposes military action to stop Iran developing nuclear weapons, bemoaned what he sees as a lack of will by the Bush administration to itself contemplate military strikes.
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"It's clear that the administration has essentially given up that possibility," he said. "I don't think it's serious any more. If you had asked me a year ago I would have said I thought it was a real possibility. I just don't think it's in the cards."

Alas, he's probably right about the last.

Thanks to blacksheep.

Posted by: Ace at 10:34 AM | Comments (36)
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Oh, Lordy.

"I'm truly upset about the comments," Jones said. "Obviously Mr. Imus has problems with African-Americans. I'm upset, and I hope the station he works for handles it accordingly. I will pray for him.

African-American, please.

We're in the Ninth Circle of Stupid now.

Abandon all honesty and reason, ye who enter here.

Posted by: Ace at 09:46 AM | Comments (52)
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Well, there's more to it. Israel conducted a raid in the West Bank (not covered by the Gaza cease-fire) against the Islamic Jihad (not covered by the cease-fire with Hamas).

In retaliation for Israel killing terrorists who supposedly have nothing to do with Hamas, Hamas launched rockets against Israeli civilians.

MSNBC says that the Israel violated the "spirit" of the cease-fire while, it seems, observing the explicit letter of the agreement.

Damn Jews and their contracts and loopholes.

Posted by: Ace at 09:25 AM | Comments (26)
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Women with long nails.

I'm trying to figure out why women with long nails who've already found them difficult with other things would get an iPhone (the writer lists other troubling devices like keyboards, touch screen monitors, my zipper).

(Ok, that last one's not really a problem. Allow me).

Not having dealt with this problem myself, I assume regular cell phones are a little challenging too, I mean, you can press small buttons with a long nail but that can't be easy either.

One of the women quoted in the LAT article linked said she was disappointed that the new iPhone didn't include a stylus, but I think the real answer lies in electrostatically charged nail polish.

See? Always thinking on the ideas. Memo to self: Edible. Garbage.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 09:12 AM | Comments (24)
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I had this in the sidebar, but we have an important update: her suspected bra size is now confirmed.

The woman celebrated her rescue by breaking through a door and attempting futilely to push her breasts through the opening. There is no report as to whether she ever feared becoming the "Asian Dolly Parton."

D-Bunked: The 36 DD thing frequently mentioned in the press turns out to have been made up.

Thanks to JS and Jeremy.

Posted by: Ace at 08:50 AM | Comments (24)
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Analysts call the evidence "inconclusive but adorable."

Posted by: Ace at 08:42 AM | Comments (27)
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Maggots and flesh-eating vermin announced their "deepest satisfaction" with the aggressive moves to increase the size of their natural habitat.

US-led forces have killed 55 militants in Afghanistan during a three-day operation near the Pakistani border, the US military reported on Monday.

Three “key Taliban leaders” were also killed in these battles, the report said.

Meanwhile, the US media reported on Monday that Nato forces in Afghanistan also shelled guerillas in Pakistan in two separate episodes on Sunday.

A statement issued by the coalition forces said the operations began on June 20 when coalition forces were ambushed in the eastern province of Paktika.

The coalition repulsed that attack with small-arms fire, and then pursued the militants over the next two days, backed by air strikes, the military said. Twenty-five militants were wounded and three were captured, it said.

In a separate news report, the Pentagon said that on June 21, coalition forces conducted precision air strikes in AfghanistanÂ’s Khost province, targeting a Taliban commander involved with improvised explosive devices, foreign-fighter operations and weapons smuggling.

Other "militants" volunteered for the carbon-reduction program by attacking coalition troops. Troops responded by providing headshots of Leonardo DiCaprio and headshots of bullets, but mostly headshots of bullets.

Posted by: Ace at 08:40 AM | Comments (24)
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