Awful. He walked out like an earnest dork and has a weird inflection, trying to sound upbeat and sunny when it's clearly not his natural metier. It sounds false, and he looks false.

I don't care how much of a star Jindal is, America doesn't elect somewhat-off dorks as president.

Key quotes:

Gee, I think all I got is acetylsalicylic acid, generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of a name brand. That makes good financial sense, good advice. Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound! It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though. I'm givin' this whole thing as a promotional expense, that's why I invited clients instead of friends. You havin' a good time, Mark? How you doing? Why don't you have some of the brie, it's at room temperature! You think it's too warm in here for the brie?"

"Okay, who brought the dog?"

Okay, that was "Louis Tully" (Rick Moranis) from Ghostbusters, provided by an unknown commenter.

Personally my mind ran to the table of Achmad, Jaglesh, Clayton, etc., in Animal House.

Posted by: Ace at 06:26 PM | Comments (475)
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What did he expect, potpourri?

Is that against the law even? What do they want? I'm not made of smores and spun sugar down there.

Thanks to JackStraw.

A silly stupid item because I am so depressed that this stutterin' prick is my president I can't deal with real life.

Posted by: Ace at 06:11 PM | Comments (25)
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It's a magical evening.

Live Blogging [ace]: Looking at the grim tableaux of Biden and Pelosi behind the podium, my mindthoughts are sadcrying.

First Lady Worf walks in, apparently wearing something from Vera Wang's Grimmace Collection. A possible embarrassment was avoided, as the USS Nimitz almost wore the same dress.

Rahm Emmanuel walks in and begins calling Ruth Bader Ginsberg a "fucking scumbag." What a card.

Obama is announced. He is shirtless and wears only a jaunty crimson sash and a pirate cutlass, which cleverly hides his genitals. Which Juan Williams comments aren't "all that."

This really pisses me off. I had wanted to watch Gossip Girl and all I get is this crap.

Nancy Pelosi is wearing some sort of Cardassian house-frock from Deep Space Nine. She's also sporting massive Ferengi breast implants. They look like she spent at least 60,000 quatloos on them.

Well, for his "lightening" of the speech, he spoke about the crisis, and then gave an incongruous one-man pep rally about how America is TEH ROXXOR.

Now suggesting we buy some Magic Beans to create new energy.

He's fucking up with the teleprompter, the stuttering prick.

He mentions his "agenda begins with jobs," idiot congressmen applaud to indicate they like jobs.

95% will receive a tax cut... of like eight buck a month.

"Nobody messes with Joe," he insists, as he announces Biden will be leading a "tough, unprecedented oversight" effort. Nobody messes with Joe. Especially not those snipers in Iraq.

Announces his cramdown program. We'll be giving irresponsible homebuyers $2000 per year to live beyond their means.

Red Meat: We're gonna teach those rich bankers a lesson to make up for paying billions to irresponsible homeowners. He gets all yelly in this part, to show he means business. He should have just pointed to Joe Biden -- because no one messes with Joe.

Ah, here's the happy shit again. Young couples buying houses. Companies hiring workers. Babies buying golden crack-pipes.

New common-sense rules of the road.

Ah, we've got to sacrifice some worthy priorities, including "me." He does this childlike overpronounciation on the last word in a sentence, like do. He does that a lot.

I have no fucking idea what he's talking about now. Honestly, I don't.

I'm sorry, I guess I'm ending the live blog, it's just blah blah blah, I swear I cannot focus on this man's empty words long enough to render his sentences sensible.

Bad Moment for Obama: Talks bullshit about keeping deficits down, but gets Republicans cheering until embarrassed and then flashes a fuck-you look as he laughs it off.

"These checks are on their way." Rather inartfully phrased, no?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 04:49 PM | Comments (1117)
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Wow, the Afghani's essentially want to run the whole show.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 02:33 PM | Comments (55)
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I don't recall being sent through this sort of filter a year or two ago. Anyone know when this triaging of communications showed up?

From a (R)'s web site:

I am very interested in hearing your views on issues of importance to you. Due to the large volume of US Mail, email and faxes I receive, I am only able to accept messages from residents of the 10th Congressional District of Illinois...

I am very interested in hearing your views on issues of importance to you. Due to the large volume of US Mail, email and faxes I receive, I am only able to accept messages from residents of the 19th Congressional District of Florida...

Of course, one can always lie and type in some zip code from the district in question, but it certainly seems they're getting a tad touchier about people contacting them these days than in years past. Why that might be is a real puzzler...this being the most open and ethical congress ever.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 02:08 PM | Comments (99)
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So Slublog asked in the sidebar.

JeffD sends this quote from The Jerk along, which I kinda think is funny.

Navin R. Johnson: I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

I'm pretty sure Chris Matthews has a similar calculation.

So, nine weeks and five days.

This is going to be a longer four years than I anticipated. I suppose that's good. I'm not in a hurry to age lately.

O-BINGO: Might as well make a game of the speech.

Thanks to AndrewM.

Posted by: Ace at 01:22 PM | Comments (76)
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From the New York Times. And here's the thing -- it's "reasonably sane," as Moe Lane suggests. The article, I mean. Not the speech.

Moe's got an excerpt and the link and some commentary.

It is befuddling that the public continues placing great trust in Obama to make the right economic decisions despite not having liked his previous ones very much.

Meanwhile the AP's Jennifer Loven somehow manages to travel through time and submit this dispatch back through the time-portal, writing as if the speech had already happened. And loving every word of it.

Thanks to JeffD. for that.

Breaking! Did we really need this poll to forecast events which will unfold within hours?

"A national poll indicates most Americans think President Obama will give a good speech Tuesday night in his address to a joint session of Congress, but expectations are not as high as they were for his inaugural address."

Good Lord, the media are really rooting for their boyfriend, aren't they? Now they are making sure the public expects him to give a "good speech."

Thanks to Jenjhis.

Posted by: Ace at 12:37 PM | Comments (106)
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Nuance. Too corrupt to stand for election, but not too corrupt to serve as a US Senator:

Embattled Sen. Roland Burris (D-Ill.) meets with Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) on Tuesday afternoon. Burris understands that he needs to try to mollify Durbin and he will attempt to do that.

Scoop: Burris will also be sending, directly or indirectly (maybe this is it) two messages: he will not resign in the wake of the controversy surrounding his appointment by the ousted Gov. Blagojevich and he will not run for the seat in 2010. Burris has finally realized that not seeking election next year is the least price he will pay.

Posted by: Ace at 10:37 AM | Comments (71)
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Really?

Farcical.

"President Obama has accomplished more in 30 days than any president in modern history," a senior White House official said this morning in a background briefing for TV reporters.

Pointing to legislation on children's health insurance and the "Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act," and most especially the stimulus bill, the official compared President Obama favorably to Presidents Reagan, Clinton and Bush, pointing out that the previous presidents' major economic bills were all months away from becoming enacted into law at this point in their presidencies.

"He has a set of wins under his belt" as he comes to address a joint session of Congress this evening, the senior White House official said, contrasting the president with Bill Clinton, who at this point in his presidency had been dealing with the gays in the military controversy, with passage of Family Medical Leave as a legislative win.

Obama, conversely, can point to a $787 billion bill that made major changes in energy, education and tax policies, the official said, describing the bill as a "major paydown" on what candidate Obama ran on.

Um, his economic bill was forced (it is claimed) by urgent circumstances, whereas others had the time to actually debate and consider their bills. On the basis of a single bill these arrogant cocksuckers are claiming to be more accomplished, at least in their first 30 days, than any other president in history.

The other stuff is just the immediate ideological pen-signing stuff all presidents do.

Astonishing.

This feller seems to have a rather high opinion of himself, don't he?

Thanks again to Geoff.

Posted by: Ace at 09:55 AM | Comments (147)
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The bloom is coming off the rosary.

Yes, yes, liberal baiters -- George W. Bush would have been thrilled to have such numbers and all that. However...

The drop below 60% approval within the past week -- from 63% in Feb. 18-20 polling to 59% in Feb. 21-23 polling -- has mostly come among independents. Late last week, 62% of independents approved of Obama, compared with 54% in the last three days.

The fact is that George W. Bush was unpopular due to circumstances, not just your go-to explanation "He was Chimphitler McHaliburton." And now Obama faces those same circumstances.

We'll see how his numbers hold up.

Thanks to Anti-Harkonen Freedom Fighter Geoff.

Posted by: Ace at 09:41 AM | Comments (56)
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