Figure it's either illegal aliens or smuggling pot in from Mexico.

In the meantime:

NBC and CBS finally cover the story, very sympathetically, of course, to ACORN. And they call ACORN's critics conservative ten bazillion times and never once mention ACORN might swing a bit to the left.

A former ACORN employee calls it the most corrupt group in the country. (Video.)

The Politico's Mike Allen, who hopes one day to work for a real tv news network instead of an internet webzine, defends tv news networks. They have to report on "real stories," you see, so they can't report on ACORN. (Safe link to Newsbusters.)

Oh, and we should be grateful for their playing The Deciders for us: ""I think we should be grateful for that filter so that you go to places- NBC News, Politico, others- that you can trust and youÂ’ll know that what is there is accurate and not speculation.""

Schwarzenegger: Coehagen, Give De People Investigation Into Malfeasance! Drudge slug, no story yet, but what more could the story say?

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ACORN's "Partners:" Lotta banks on the list.

You know, the ones who built the financial crisis by giving out mortgages like they were condoms in a middle-school nurse's office.

Posted by: Ace at 04:09 PM | Add Comment
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ACORN.

Do I know this for a fact? Not as a fact, no.

But I know damn well ACORN has shifted from its Scott Levenson "deny everyting"/"blame it on raaacism and FoxNews" strategy -- it wasn't working -- and now is simply following the ABC's of corporate crisis management, as dictated to them, I imagine, by a big DC PR firm they just hired with your own money.

"Get ahead of the story," "acknowledge mistakes," "don't spin," "promise appropriate reaction" are all basic and well-known steps of a company dealing with a possibly existential crisis.

So, two days ago they were denying eveything, and Scott Levenson was telling us that "process is important," whatever the eff that means, and the ACORN CEO Bertie Lewis was instructing us that we were all racists.

Now, as soon as the Senate votes to defund them, they say "we'll conduct our own internal audit," later changed to "independent audit," and they want us to give them three months (until the story blows over and the heat's off) to continue collecting federal money.

Three months -- when, they hope, we'll all have forgotten about this unfortunate episode.

And how "independent" is that independent auditing group? Let's just say they're no quite independent enough to not appreciate the yeoman's work ACORN does on behalf of Democrats.

In a press release, ACORN CEO Bertha Lewis says, that as “a result of the indefensible action of a handful of our employees,” the group will immediately stop accepting anyone into ACORN office for service programs, will conduct in-service training of staff, and begin an audit “to review all of the systems and processes called into question by the videos,” to be conducted by the group’s Independent Advisory Council.

The Council includes many prominent Democrats, including the man who helped President Obama Transition Team, John Podesta, President and CEO of the Center for American Progress; former Maryland Lt. Gov. Kathleen Kennedy Townsend; Andrew Stern, International President of the Service Employees International Union; and former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Henry Cisneros.

Or, as Karl tweets:

A Soros hack, an SEIU thug, someone who pleaded to lying to the FBI, and a Kennedy

SEIU, by the way, is virtually a conjoined twin with ACORN. So, honestly, Andy Stern? As John MacEnroe would say, "You cannot be seeerious!"

But they are.

They want three months for you to forget. They want three months for Giles and O'Keefe to run out of videos. They want three months for a new crisis to erupt and distract us.

And they want this, too, because they know if a House vote is taken now, centrist Democrats would have to vote for it and it would easily pass, and the former Chief Community Organizer himself would have to sign a defunding bill into law.

So they are offering a fig leaf of an excuse for Democrats -- "It's indefensible, but we should only censure them, not impeach them." Remember that?

Yeah, they do too. It worked last time.

Maybe the entire board of directors will be photographed on the steps of a church, or maybe the entire organization will huddle with Jesse Jackson for "ministering" and redemption.

This "three months to fix the endemic lawlessness that we've reveled in since we were chartered" non-plan is bullshit from the get go.

Remember: The goal in any existential crisis is merely to survive, to continue to exist. And that is all ACORN is doing now, even as it parrots the words put into their mouths by the pricey Dem-connected DC PR firm your money is paying for.

Your money is now paying for Democrat-connected PR mavens who are telling ACORN what lies to tell you.

It Depends on What the Word "Independent" Means: William Amos tells me that one minute of google-sleuthing has already yielded fruit:

Should be stated that in the Hotair thread we discovered that two of these "investigators" are actually members of ACORN on their advisory board.

Ah, yes. That special kind of independent review that only corporate insiders can provide.

The Science of Corporate Crisis Management: Okay, it's not really a science, but it's a mature art.

And maybe this is obvious -- but does anyone see this as precisely the chain of events in ACORN's current crisis?

The eight characteristics are:

1. Surprise that is always driven by media exposure.

2. Insufficient Information about the relevant facts and the emerging public perception of the issue.

3. Escalating Flow of Events that hampers the ability of management to understand quickly that, like it or not, they "own" the problem and must quickly articulate a persuasive response.

4. Loss of Control over the way the growing crisis is perceived and the impact it is beginning to have on the company.

5. Intense Scrutiny from Outsiders/Insiders including media, government, regulatory agencies, activist groups, key stakeholders, and most importantly, the management team itself.

6. The Beginning of the Siege Mentality that causes company leadership to attempt to "hide" behind the legal aspects of the crisis, rather than confront the central issues, and thereby allows the crisis to inflict more damage on the organization.

7. Panic that perverts and/or paralyzes the decision-making process.

8. Issue Solved by Public Arena in a manner designed to satisfy the interests of outsiders—including the media, government, regulatory agencies and activist groups—but never the interests of the company itself.

Note that it's Step 8 the crisis managers wish most to avoid. They endeavor to convince the public that they can handle the crisis/illegality/scandal on the inside with no external interference needed.

Sound familiar?

By the Way: If anyone's in PR, or can put me in touch with someone in PR who wouldn't mind being interviewed by a right-wing blog, I'd like to talk to you (or your contact) about this.

I could keep you anonymous, as I'd obviously be looking for confirmation about the standard PR playbook, and you probably wouldn't want your boss or partners to know you'd given it up.

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Capitulation to Putin, for nothing, at the expense of allies.

And oh-- Iran will have nuclear-tipped missiles in two years.

According to reliable sources, Obama administration officials are on their way to Poland and the Czech Republic to deliver very bad news. The administration intends to cancel completely the missile defense sites that had been promised to these governments by the previous administration. This represents a complete capitulation to Russia's Vladimir Putin, who had demanded that the proposed deployments be halted as a price for improved relations. Ironically, the Obama administration, which is appeasing Russia in the hopes that Moscow will help put pressure on Iran, has made this mammoth concession just a few days after Moscow declared that it had no intention of supporting sanctions against Iran.

Carter II, huh?

You wish it were Carter II.

Quote: Christopher Johnson quotes someone with this bon mot:

"It is dangerous to be America's foe, but to be the friend, it is downright lethal".

I prefer the words of Eric "Otter" Stratton, Faber College '63:

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"Unacceptable," Gibbys says, which if you remember from around 1997-98 translates as "perfectly acceptable" in the Democrat Dictionary.

Next they'll say it's "indefensible," and then defend them.

Words are cheap. Taxpayer dollars aren't.

I notice Gibbsy isn't calling on Pelosi to allow a vote to defund ACORN.

By the way, for good measure, he blames Bush. Kinda.

He pointed out that "previous administrations" had awarded grants to ACORN either through the Federal Emergency Management Agency and the Department of Housing and Urban Development.

Thanks to AHFF Geoff.

Bertha Lewis: Just Give Us Three Months to Let This Controversy Blow Over and Go Away and We Can All Pretend It Never Happened: Gee, a stalling tactic now? Switching to "let us fix it ourselves"?

I guess someone really doesn't want their federal funds taken away.

ACORN CEO Bertha Lewis to CNN's Wolf Blitzer: "I will clean this house. It is being done now. And I -- and here's what I would like. I'll come back in three months and you can look at what we've done."

-- From The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer

In related news, Iran just emailed me to say "Yeah, give us three months too."

Pawlenty Grabs Some Red Meat: Stop funding ACORN at once, Minnesota.

Plus he orders a "review of the relationship" between the state and the criminal gang.

Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R.) sent a letter Wednesday afternoon to the director of the Minnesota Commission of Management and Budget ordering him to stop all state funding to ACORN (the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now), a spokesman for the governor has confirmed to CNSNews.com Editor Pete Winn.

“The letter cites recent reports of questionable behavior and potentially illegal activity by ACORN and states that they are of great concern to the governor and underscores the recent vote by the U.S. Senate to ban federal funding to ACORN, which also reflects those concerns,” the Pawlenty spokesman told CNSNews.com’s Winn.

In the letter, the governor directs Hanson to stop all state funding to ACORN, unless the state is legally obligated to continue funding. No precise dollar amount is available, the spokesman said.

“In addition, the letter directs” the commission “to conduct a thorough review of the state’s relationship with ACORN and to report back to the governor with his findings,” he said.

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"Drops." Like it's a Jay-Z record.

Anyway. That's when it will post on BigGovernment.com, maybe to coincide with an appearance on Hannity? (Guessing.)

But maybe Glenn Beck will have it early.

Oh: And it is San Diego, as my semi-connection told me.

Oh: And it's "a little different this time," i.e., not pimps up hos down. No microskirt.

My guess? Avoiding taxes on illegal alien workers.

Who wants to bet me?

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The National Legal and Policy Center is asking JP Morgan to stop feeding the trolls.

40% of ACORN's funding (IIRC) comes from you, the taxpayer.

The other 60% also comes from you, the taxpayer, as large corporations pay them shake-down money to go away. And you, of course, are paying that freight.

Time to close down that revenue stream too.

Posted by: Ace at 12:42 PM | Add Comment
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But Pixy is working hard to get those hamsters back in their wheels. Should be a short outage.

Posted by: Ace at 11:45 AM | Comments (1)
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I haven't watched it yet but it's entitled "Girl Talk: My Time with Tresa Kaelke".

I'm scared.

It seems to be mostly Hannah getting advice from Tresa on running a brothel. Albeit one featuring underage El Salvadorian girls. That Tresa is such a kidder!

You can read Hannah's write up of the chat at Biggovernment.com.

Via JammieWearingFool's Twitter

Posted by: DrewM at 11:34 AM | Add Comment
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Their "allies," he says -- you know, the famously pro-Israel Obama and European nations -- are painting them into a corner where they have no other choice.

Israel will be compelled to attack Iran's nuclear facilities if Western powers do not impose serious sanctions against Teheran by the end of 2009, former deputy defense minister Ephraim Sneh said on Wednesday.

Iran calls for boycott of military strikes on counties with nuclear facilities
"We cannot live under the shadow of an Iran with nuclear weapons," he was quoted as telling Reuters in an interview on a visit to the UK. "By the end of the year, if there is no agreement on crippling sanctions aimed at this regime, we will have no choice."

Sneh reportedly stressed that a military strike would be "the very, very last resort. But ironically it is our best friends and allies who are pushing us into a corner where we would have no option but to do it."

Sarkozy, meanwhile, states the obvious:

"It is a certainty to all of our secret services. Iran is working today on a nuclear [weapons] program," Sarkozy told lawmakers from his UMP party on Tuesday, according to Press TV.

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