March 15, 2014

Mega-Dreaming Open Thread - [Niedermeyer's Dead Horse]
— Open Blogger

The Mega Millions lottery is now up to $400 million.

If you are in one of the states that participates, are you playing? How much have you spent?

If you win, what is the first thing you would do?

The first person you would tell?

The first purchase you would make?

What dream would you make come true?

Posted by: Open Blogger at 03:56 PM | Comments (461)
Post contains 66 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I dreamed of wolves on a plane.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 15, 2014 03:58 PM (V4CBV)

2 If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Have a drink. The first person you would tell? Mrs. Hammer The first purchase you would make? Fake ID What dream would you make come true? '65 Griffith TVR

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 15, 2014 03:59 PM (aDwsi)

3 And that plane was Air Force 1.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 15, 2014 03:59 PM (V4CBV)

4 I'd go to Las Vegas and put it all on red. When you're hot you're hot.

Posted by: Frankly at March 15, 2014 04:03 PM (Inp7d)

5 gO hOG wILD!

Posted by: ARNY ZIFFLE at March 15, 2014 04:04 PM (VWXUq)

6 The lottery is a tax on the stupid. But that said, let's play. If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Pick up the phone... The first person you would tell? My accountant. The first purchase you would make? Nothing comes to mind. I live pretty frugally. What dream would you make come true? Put a friend's boys through college/trade school.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 15, 2014 04:05 PM (V4CBV)

7 Set up an investigatory agency along with a website to out journalists' private lives. Lots of literally illegal and plenty of immoral behaviour there to cover I'm sure.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at March 15, 2014 04:05 PM (hn5v5)

8 Do? Pour myself a stiff drink or three.

Tell? My boss. 

Buy? A lawyer.  A good one.

Dream purchase?  Land in the middle of nowhere to build my dream house.  Then I'd take a trip around the world.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at March 15, 2014 04:05 PM (lr3d7)

9 First purchases: Hookers, strippers, weed, and blow

Posted by: Morons everywhere at March 15, 2014 04:05 PM (0xqKe)

10 1. Take a long vacation with my puppeh and 4 or 5 Elliot-Spitzer-priced h00kers.

2. Buy a single malt distillery.

Posted by: drunken beancounter at March 15, 2014 04:05 PM (1DiSS)

11 Did the site crash for anyone else or was it just me?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:06 PM (DmNpO)

12 A nice house on a lot of land. The end.

Posted by: Lauren at March 15, 2014 04:07 PM (hFL/3)

13 Get the DVDs for the first half of season four of Game of Thrones.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at March 15, 2014 04:07 PM (hn5v5)

14 Get the DVDs for the first half of season four of Game of Thrones.

Only if you promise to hold a private viewing right across the street from the White House, and serve red meat, cigars, and whiskey.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at March 15, 2014 04:08 PM (lr3d7)

15 I'd buy a new cowboy hat.

Posted by: Sheriff Joe at March 15, 2014 04:08 PM (Aif/5)

16 What dream would you make come true? Two chicks at the same time, man.

Posted by: Lawrence at March 15, 2014 04:08 PM (QSqIb)

17 I spent one dollar.

The first thing I would do is have another beer.

The first peeps I would tell would be the dadster and the horde.

The first thing I would buy is another place to live.

My dream would have already come true, but I would be pretty generous with people I care about.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:08 PM (8lmkt)

18 I would give $10K to everyone I know. Not so much as to mess them up, but enough to share my joy.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:08 PM (QupBk)

19 What is the first thing you would do? Put a gun to Thor's head and tell him he was through working. The first person you would tell? And the only person... my husband. The first purchase you would make? I have my eye on some property in TN What dream would you make come true? World travel, which I am grateful to say is about the only one that hasn't come true yet.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:08 PM (Pfvig)

20

I am playing but $2 is as good as $200.

The first thing I WILL do is have a few drinks.

The first person I will tell is my uncle, the lawyer. I'm going to set up a trust.

The first purchase I will make is my parents house. They're getting ready to retire.

It's always been my dream to build an underground home and have my very own solid gold rocket car.

Posted by: CozMark at March 15, 2014 04:08 PM (gYPAF)

21 So, that show "Resurrection" that I missed last week just started - does anyone know if this is week two, or if it's a repeat of last week?

Posted by: shredded chi at March 15, 2014 04:09 PM (t1EZK)

22 1. Sign the back of the ticket. 2. My husband. 3. Pay off mortgage. 4. Buy Valu-Rite Industries and name myself CEO.

Posted by: MDH3 at March 15, 2014 04:09 PM (GKyUC)

23 The Everly Brothers were disgusting Irish scum using rock and roll to spread their hate

Posted by: Salon Magazine at March 15, 2014 04:09 PM (aTXUx)

24 I would pay off my kids debts, and tell them this is once in a lifetime so get your shit together, set my mom up in a really nice place and tell my boss to go fuck himself.

Posted by: jewells45 trying to keep from going crazy at March 15, 2014 04:09 PM (/IQip)

25 Fox just showed a ML370 graphic highlighting Turkmenistan and Kazakhstan. OK...

Posted by: Beagle at March 15, 2014 04:09 PM (sOtz/)

26 Tell: No one First purchase: new blog software for Ace then a sailboat

Posted by: L, elle at March 15, 2014 04:10 PM (0xqKe)

27 Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 08:08 PM (Pfvig)

big sloppy shmooshes, Tamster.  if it's not me, then I hope it's you. 

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:10 PM (8lmkt)

28 The only correct answer is hookers and blow.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:10 PM (QupBk)

29 I hate the MegaMillions. The odds are impossible, and all the money goes to the top prize. I had 4 out of the 5 numbers once and got $150. 2 more numbers and I get $650million. No middle ground.

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 04:10 PM (Usdw3)

30 The Everly Brothers were disgusting Irish scum using rock and roll to spread their hate

Posted by: Salon Magazine at March 15, 2014 08:09 PM (aTXUx)


falling all about, laughing my ass off!

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:11 PM (8lmkt)

31 So, that show "Resurrection" that I missed last week just started - does anyone know if this is week two, or if it's a repeat of last week? If a boy just woke up in a Chinese corn field, it's a repeat. If not, not.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:11 PM (QupBk)

32 #14 But of course, Colorado Alex. And some great beers on tap too.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at March 15, 2014 04:11 PM (hn5v5)

33 5. Longbow. 6. The guys get shirts.

Posted by: MDH3 at March 15, 2014 04:11 PM (GKyUC)

34 1st thing to do: Hide it in a safe place.
1st person to tell: Hubby, of course.
1st thing to purchase: Tickets to MA to go shopping for a house on/near the water.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 15, 2014 04:12 PM (aq/zi)

35 First thing would be to sit down, in case I pass out. Next I would tell Mrs. Itchy. She already has the money spent for me... I "may" be allowed a small allowance though.

Posted by: itchytriggerfinger at March 15, 2014 04:12 PM (XwN3V)

36 I haven't purchased a ticket so there's very little chance of me winning, but... First thing I'd do: Check the ticket repeatedly, then sleep on it, and check it again in the light of day First person I'd tell: A tax attorney The First purchase: Hmmm. Probably a brand new car for my daughter. Dream: Travel the entire country with my sister and best-friend.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:12 PM (DmNpO)

37 @3 - My first thought was that the plane I'm thinking of is the one where Kate Upton flies up in the air and lands on me. But...that's crass. First thing: Take a nap. First person: my wife. And damn few others. First purchase: not really a purchase, but I'd take $25M and set it aside in reasonable investments as SHTF living expenses, and $5M in gold and etc. in case the SHTF fund HTF. Dream: GT40 Mk IV? L39? Recent Gulfstream? Road course in the Midwest? Nice estate somewhere in Bavaria?

Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 04:12 PM (o+SC1)

38 it's a repeat -- should I watch it?  I'm on the fence about that.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:12 PM (8lmkt)

39 big sloppy shmooshes, Tamster. if it's not me, then I hope it's you. Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 08:10 PM (8lmkt) Okay, so I'd tell one more person...... MWAH!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:12 PM (Pfvig)

40

If you are in one of the states that participates, are you playing? How much have you spent? $1.  just got home from buying my ticket

If you win, what is the first thing you would do? hide my ticket somewhere my toddlers can't reach/destroy it

The first person you would tell? not the papa

The first purchase you would make? retainer for a financial planner for rich folk (do they work on retainer?)

What dream would you make come true? I'd buy Ace that real doll he always wanted http://tinyurl.com/ofj46h7

Posted by: not the mama at March 15, 2014 04:13 PM (5dxeo)

41 I'm in an informal pool that reanimates every time the jackpot on one of these things gets huge. I have to buy 3 tix to enter, I usually buy 5, as do most of the others. All Army buddies, all done trough FB, with photos of the tix posted before the drawing. So I'll spend either 5 or 10 bucks, depending if this one costs one dollar or two. I'd buy a place directly on the beach at the Cape, a horse property in the Carolinas, a pied a terre or two in a couple European cities, maybe a fortress of tropical solitude on some loosely lawed island.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 04:13 PM (ZshNr)

42 If I won, I don't know what I'd buy. But I'll tell you what I would never buy again-another lottery ticket.

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 04:13 PM (Usdw3)

43 Odds are ridiculous now (that's how they get bigger pots), but yeah, I've put down a whole dollar. I'm going to build high-speed train service from here to the store. That's about two miles. Not sure I'll have any money left over when I get there, though.

Posted by: t-bird at March 15, 2014 04:13 PM (FcR7P)

44 Start a chain of Irish pubs called "Prisoners of Whiteness".

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at March 15, 2014 04:14 PM (hn5v5)

45 it's a repeat -- should I watch it? I'm on the fence about that. Yes.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:14 PM (QupBk)

46 What dream would you make come true? Two chicks at the same time, man. ** That was bound to come up.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:14 PM (DmNpO)

47 Here's a very funny (and short!) story by Dorothy Parker on exactly this question: "What would be the first thing you'd do?"


Posted by: Not The AOSHQ Sunday Book Thread, but oh how this fits here at March 15, 2014 04:15 PM (3WZi1)

48 Stompy Boots and Rifle in Case AtC Shows Up Open Thread Compliance Pic http://tinyurl.com/pkm3kcm

Posted by: kbdabear at March 15, 2014 04:15 PM (aTXUx)

49 it's a repeat -- should I watch it? I'm on the fence about that.

Yes.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 08:14 PM (QupBk)


Okay, I will give it a look.  The ads have made me a little conflicted.  I don't want anything what leaves me all gasping and weeping about the late great mr. peaches, it took me a good 10 years to get over that shit.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:15 PM (8lmkt)

50 Oops here it is, "The Standard Of Living":

http://amaliaelnuna.blogspot.com/2012/04/standard-living-by-dorothy-parker.html

Posted by: Not The AOSHQ Sunday Book Thread, but oh how this fits here at March 15, 2014 04:16 PM (3WZi1)

51 I've never played the lottery so I don't dream about winning. If someone gave me the winning ticket, I'd pay off my kids' mortgages, put money in a trust for my grandkids, keep a bit for myself, and help out some ministries I support. I'd like to go on a round the world cruise too with what's leftover.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 15, 2014 04:16 PM (oMKp3)

52 If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Wet my Underoos. The first person you would tell? Mom. But can she be trusted? The first purchase you would make? A big castle on huge tracts of land ((cups hands suggestively)) What dream would you make come true? Reintroduce Megafauna to North America.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at March 15, 2014 04:16 PM (QBm1P)

53 Here's a very funny (and short!) story by Dorothy Parker on exactly this question: "What would be the first thing you'd do?"


Posted by: Not The AOSHQ Sunday Book Thread, but oh how this fits here at March 15, 2014 08:15 PM (3WZi1)


You may be unclear on the concept of "here's" . . . just sayin'

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:16 PM (8lmkt)

54 I guy comes home and says Honey, pack your bags, I've won the lottery! The wife says Wow! What weather should I pack for. The guys says I don't care, just get your ass out, I won the lottery!

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:16 PM (QupBk)

55 Odds are ridiculous now

I'm pretty sure the odds that any one particular ticket will match all six numbers is the same every week; it's based on the combinations of numbers, not the number of tickets sold.

Posted by: HR at March 15, 2014 04:16 PM (hO8IJ)

56 If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Pay my debts and my family's debts. Some friends, too. The first person you would tell? Kate Upton. The first purchase you would make? A full tank of gas. What dream would you make come true? The one I had this morning just before I woke up. I mean, dayam. Seriously.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 04:17 PM (qyfb5)

57 1. 8 bucks 2. Start looking for a place to hide/redo my will. 3. No one. 4. Services of an acct., trust & tax aty, financial adviser. 5. Do an intensive tour of UK historical/archaeological sites. Rent a villa in the south of France and have a summer open house for friends. People actually buy kidnapping insurance after they win the lotto.

Posted by: The Yellow Pug at March 15, 2014 04:17 PM (r7mtu)

58 Totally nailed the "short", though.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 04:17 PM (ZshNr)

59 I'd like to go on a round the world cruise too with what's leftover. Posted by: grammie winger at March 15, 2014 08:16 PM (oMKp3) I'd spring for a Moron cruise. It'd probably be the death of us all, but so worth it!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:17 PM (Pfvig)

60 First person- The Wife of course.

First purchase- Don't know but I do fantasize about dropping checks on local charity heads that make them pass out.

Dream- travel with The Wife

Posted by: Typo dynamofo at March 15, 2014 04:17 PM (IVgIK)

61 The first person you would tell?

Kate Upton.

Mero, once again, you do not disappoint!

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:17 PM (8lmkt)

62 I buying my ticket somewhere else this week, that lying Jugdish tells me every week, "I am weener" I buy a couple each week, with all the money I am saving not drinking during Lent.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:18 PM (0FSuD)

63 @7 - that's on my list too, but not at the top.

Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 04:18 PM (o+SC1)

64 I guy comes home and says Honey, pack your bags, I've won the lottery! The wife says Wow! What weather should I pack for. The guys says I don't care, just get your ass out, I won the lottery! *** LOL

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:18 PM (DmNpO)

65 59 I'd spring for a Moron cruise. It'd probably be the death of us all, but so worth it! _________________________________ No sane insurance company would back it.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at March 15, 2014 04:18 PM (QBm1P)

66 Apparently at Salon Magazine, "We Don't Want the Irish" Salon writer asks: ‘How did Irish Americans get so disgusting?’ http://tinyurl.com/neffhkk

Posted by: kbdabear at March 15, 2014 04:18 PM (aTXUx)

67 Seven or eight items down the list is "massively fund a takedown of the climate-alarmist fraudsters".

Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 04:19 PM (o+SC1)

68 I miss Shrimp.  Anybody seen her lately or has she simply moved on?  I know she's got at least one ticket for this.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:19 PM (8lmkt)

69 And just think---you Americans would be rich enough to afford signing up for Obamacare and hire some college kid to sit at the computer for the 18 hours it would take to sign up! Now that's money, man!

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at March 15, 2014 04:19 PM (hn5v5)

70 first thing I do is buy so many political ads, the Left forgets all about the Koch brothers, and Harry Reid mentions my name every day of his life!

Posted by: zigggyeeee at March 15, 2014 04:20 PM (AsMdZ)

71 i wouldn't tell anybody, build a house on the hill amongst the oaks, get a nice little herd of cow ponies and my luger. simple but perfect.

Posted by: concrete girl at March 15, 2014 04:20 PM (iJwLj)

72
I'd spring for a Moron cruise. It'd probably be the death of us all, but so worth it!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 08:17 PM (Pfvig)



You figure the cost of a freighter, high speed boats, weapons and ammunition, supplies, etc.

The goal is by week three to have an international fleet hunting for us.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at March 15, 2014 04:20 PM (lr3d7)

73 No sane insurance company would back it. Posted by: All Hail Eris at March 15, 2014 08:18 PM (QBm1P) You're pretty pragmatic for a chaos guy!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:20 PM (Pfvig)

74 Haven't bought a ticket. If I won I'd pay off mortgage. Buy a beach home in Hawaii.

Posted by: Mr. Moo moo at March 15, 2014 04:20 PM (QoYTJ)

75 Seven or eight items down the list is "massively fund a takedown of the climate-alarmist fraudsters".
I'd include them with the MFM journalists in my #7 comment, JEM.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at March 15, 2014 04:21 PM (hn5v5)

76 "You may be unclear on the concept of "here's" . . . just sayin'

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 08:16 PM (8lmkt)"


lol - Nope just unclear on the concept of "copy/paste" heh

but link is above.  Enjoy

Posted by: Not The AOSHQ Sunday Book Thread, but oh how this fits here at March 15, 2014 04:22 PM (3WZi1)

77 Thanks, Toby. the promos made me want to watch... Peaches, it looks like it's worth getting hooked on. I'm sure we'll be disappointed, but I'm going to give it a go.

Posted by: shredded chi at March 15, 2014 04:22 PM (t1EZK)

78 First thing I'd do is buy a ticket to Belize and use. First person I would tell would be my attorney/investment guy, from a phone in my hotel in Belize. He already told me that is the unlikely event this happens, he wants to hear from me from anouther Country. I'd then set up a foundation for our vets our Gov. Is fucking over. After that I'd get my daughter set up for life, but not until she turns 40.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at March 15, 2014 04:22 PM (ojnk6)

79 Once I was all set up, and the various familial remora had been tended to, it would be all mean money politics all the time. I'd revel in it.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 04:22 PM (ZshNr)

80 You figure the cost of a freighter, high speed boats, weapons and ammunition, supplies, etc. The goal is by week three to have an international fleet hunting for us. Posted by: Colorado Alex at March 15, 2014 08:20 PM (lr3d7) Well, surely we don't need to factor in the cost of ammo; by my calculations, the Horde owns a quarter of the national supply.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:22 PM (Pfvig)

81 You figure the cost of a freighter, high speed boats, weapons and ammunition, supplies, etc. A fella could have a pretty good weekend off Somalia with all that stuff. Somali pirates: hobos of the sea.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:22 PM (QupBk)

82 Buy a beach home in Hawaii.
RINO.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at March 15, 2014 04:22 PM (hn5v5)

83 I'd buy a mountain. Can you buy a mountain? Cuz I totally would.

Posted by: jewells45 trying to keep from going crazy at March 15, 2014 04:22 PM (/IQip)

84 http://www.usamega.com/mega-millions-jackpot.asp You only get around 168,600,00 after federal taxes. Personally, I would prefer to win a lot less and attract less attention.

Posted by: The Yellow Pug at March 15, 2014 04:22 PM (r7mtu)

85 Mero, once again, you do not disappoint! Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 08:17 PM (8lmkt) fnord (8lmkt) *bows* I actually wrote that before I saw the other mention. Also, if Upton was unimpressed, I'd work down the lost of Kates from there. The only reason Beckinsale isn't at the top of the list is because she's been married quite a while. Naw, seriously? I'd be all nervous about people finding out, because I'd *TOTALLY* fall for a pretty woman who wanted me for my money. In a second.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 04:23 PM (qyfb5)

86 I would hit ace's tip jar so hard, he would never look at a hobo the same way again.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:23 PM (8lmkt)

87 73 You're pretty pragmatic for a chaos guy! --------------------------------------------------- I'm more of a Chaos Queen....

Posted by: All Hail Eris at March 15, 2014 04:23 PM (QBm1P)

88 We don't want hobos with good taste, Charlie. We want hobos that taste good!

Posted by: hobos of the sea at March 15, 2014 04:23 PM (hn5v5)

89 @72 - by the time Obama and Hagel are done, if we can keep him from just cutting the stuff up we'll have a carrier with enough of an air wing for decent cover, a couple cruisers, at least eight frigates and an SSN or two at dollar-store prices. Then all we need is fuel and a decent level of tech support from all the equipment suppliers. Yo ho, yo ho, a moron's life for me...

Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 04:23 PM (o+SC1)

90 I'd probably buy one of those fancy electric scooters that's all the rage with old people.

Posted by: Ronster at March 15, 2014 04:23 PM (puNd6)

91 I only play powerball and megamillions when the jackpot is over 100 million. I don't wanna play for chump change. I usually only get two sets of numbers, one manual pick and one quick pick. It's fun and cheap. First thing I would do is consult a tax attorney before redeeming. First person to tell - the wife, then not another fucking soul. First purchase - depends on what my tax attorney says and if I can claim as a corporate entity. I'd probably buy some land first. Dream fulfillment - travel to some places I've always wanted to go and take as much time as I want to do it. But that megafauna idea seems pretty sweet too.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 04:24 PM (gBnkX)

92 the various familial remora


SO stealing that, as soon as I stop laughing.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:24 PM (8lmkt)

93 What did Einstein say about the lottery? It's for people that don't understand math. Jefferson? It's a tax you choose to pay. LeRoy? MFer I am rich, praise God I am rich!

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:24 PM (0FSuD)

94 I would buy ace his own hobo.

Posted by: jewells45 trying to keep from going crazy at March 15, 2014 04:24 PM (/IQip)

95 I'd probably buy one of those fancy electric scooters that's all the rage with old people.

Posted by: Ronster at March 15, 2014 08:23 PM (puNd6)


you guys are killin' me here . . .

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:25 PM (8lmkt)

96 I think winning would ruin my (or your) life. I have thought about what it would do to at least one of my kids. So, I don't buy tickets anymore. Even when I did, it was one or two when the jackpots got huge. Just to have one.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 04:25 PM (4Mv1T)

97 We're all talking about what we would do and who would we tell, but the truth is winning MegaMillions would probably be a curse. No matter how well you plan it out, no good would come of it. Better off winning 5 million than 500 million...that's what they should do make 500  shlubs  instant millionaires...

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 04:25 PM (Usdw3)

98 1. The Wife.
2. A pizza - delivered - so I could "happy dance" in private for an hour or two.....
3. Put my former employer out of business.

Posted by: Erik The Red at March 15, 2014 04:25 PM (U7y8N)

99 first thing I do is buy so many political ads, the Left forgets all about the Koch brothers, and Harry Reid mentions my name every day of his life! **** I could buy my very own congressman!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:25 PM (DmNpO)

100 Somebody's got to win, might as be one of you morons.

Posted by: The Yellow Pug at March 15, 2014 04:25 PM (r7mtu)

101 I'd *TOTALLY* fall for a pretty woman who wanted me for my money. In a second. Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 15, 2014 08:23 PM (qyfb5) Nothing wrong with that. You want her for her looks, so it's fair enough. This has been the case since the dawn of time. Just make out a contract, and treat her fair when you kick her out for a younger prettier one.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:26 PM (Pfvig)

102 I could buy my very own congressman!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 08:25 PM (DmNpO)


hell, you could buy a dozen of 'em, you shop it around right.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:26 PM (8lmkt)

103 I'd probably buy one of those fancy electric scooters that's all the rage with old people.
Just remember not to skimp on the battery.

Posted by: george costanza at March 15, 2014 04:26 PM (hn5v5)

104 Tip of the week: CLP is also an excellent oil for your tools. I just used it to clean and sharpen some of my chisels. Nice.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:26 PM (QupBk)

105 Brought to you by the Moron law firm of Rum, Sodomy, & the Lash!

Posted by: All Hail Eris at March 15, 2014 04:26 PM (QBm1P)

106 1) call attorney make sure he realizes my family LLC purchased the ticket 2) Demand wife give her second BJ or move out 3) Buy a mountain house.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:26 PM (0FSuD)

107 Mrs. E, you could have bought a NEW Jag!
My attorney.
A redoubt/fortress.
A private weekend for aoshq at a budbog.
And for damn sure no tickets on Malayzian freaking airlines.

Posted by: Erowmero at March 15, 2014 04:27 PM (1gcFZ)

108 First person: Mrs. Lockwood, natch Pay off mortgages, set up full ride 529 accounts for friends' kids. 100K for childless friends.

Posted by: Simon Oliver Lockwood at March 15, 2014 04:27 PM (9N6OT)

109

If you are in one of the states that participates, are you playing? How much have you spent?

 

Not sure. Mr. wheatie buys tickets every week, various + mega, and so far his minor winnings have more than funded the continued ticket-buying. 

 

 

If you win, what is the first thing you would do?

 

Figure out how much taxes are owed...so we'd know how much real money we're looking at.

 

 

 

The first person you would tell?

 

No one, mr. wheatie would already know.

I'd wait till the money was in the bank...and taxes were paid...before even mentioning it to anyone.

 

 

 

The first purchase you would make?

 

Some remote land with good water.

 

 

 

What dream would you make come true?

 

We'd probably set up trusts for the kids. 

I'd give Ace a million, so he could chill out, maybe write his book.

 

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 04:27 PM (8quPO)

110 Damn, I didn't know there was a fed lottery tax. I always thought it just fell under the income tax. WTF?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 04:27 PM (gBnkX)

111
First thing, call tax attorney.

After taxes, 1/4 goes into smart, diversified investments spinning off a comfortable annual income, 1/4 goes to family/friends (along with a note saying fuck you, this is all you get you bastards), and 1/4 goes to pornstar love slaves, 55 gallon drums of Peruvian marching powder, assless chaps made out of brontosaurus foreskins, and a small fleet of replica PT boats crewed by Face Sized Spiders to defend and patrol my private floaty island.

The rest I'll just waste.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 15, 2014 04:27 PM (AHzA7)

112 I'd tie the $400 million on a string, throw it in front of George Soros, drag it away from him as he runs till he's stranded out in the middle of the 405 freeway. Then I'd push a button that says 9.5 earthquake.

Posted by: Corona at March 15, 2014 04:27 PM (fh2Y7)

113 3. Put my former employer out of business. **** It may be petty but I've dreamed of buying enough stock in my "former" employer that I could stand up at a stockholders' meeting and tell everyone exactly what is on my mind.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:27 PM (DmNpO)

114 I'm more of a Chaos Queen.... Posted by: All Hail Eris at March 15, 2014 08:23 PM (QBm1P) Apologies, Your Majesty!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:27 PM (Pfvig)

115 I'd buy a 400 million dollar car. Then crash it.

Posted by: Naes1984 at March 15, 2014 04:28 PM (LiHKo)

116 wait a sec, the Mega was last night . . . we talkin' about Tuesday here?


Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:28 PM (8lmkt)

117 @96 - yeah, it could be awfully hard on a kid to come in and see an entire NFL cheerleading squad licking honey off dad.

Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 04:28 PM (o+SC1)

118 It's funny how some people who never play the lottery, suddenly join in when the pot hits 100 million, 200 million, whatever....What 75 million ain't good enough for ya?

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 04:29 PM (Usdw3)

119 Is it safe to google remora? Seems like a nice newbie, too shy to play horrible tricks on people??

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:30 PM (Pfvig)

120 Yeah, Peaches last night was $353 mill, Tues $400 mill.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:30 PM (0FSuD)

121

If you are in one of the states that participates, are you playing? How much have you spent?

$10, my usual amount when either MM or the Powerball goes above $200 million.


If you win, what is the first thing you would do?

Hide.  Then change my identity.


The first person you would tell?

My tax lawyer.


The first purchase you would make?

I'd invest it all, then live off of the rate-of-return.  Eventually, I'd buy that island in the Caribbean.

Posted by: Blor-Utar at March 15, 2014 04:30 PM (FbTDq)

122

1. Quit

2.Boss

3 Shit sandwich

4. Shit sandwich crossbow

Posted by: D-lo at March 15, 2014 04:30 PM (TDY4p)

123 hell, you could buy a dozen of 'em, you shop it around right. *** Perhaps a Senator or two as well.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:30 PM (DmNpO)

124 What 75 million ain't good enough for ya?

I know, right?  Like a couple hundred thou wouldn't be cause for celebration.  Shit, I got 18 bucks the other day and thought I had died and gone to heaven. 

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:30 PM (8lmkt)

125 Am I actually witnessing a conversation about "if i won the lottery" by the smartest group of people I know? Kill me now.

Posted by: shredded chi at March 15, 2014 04:30 PM (t1EZK)

126 It's funny how some people who never play the lottery, suddenly join in when the pot hits 100 million, 200 million, whatever....What 75 million ain't good enough for ya? Posted by: JoeyBagels --------------------- It's not about the money. It's just gettin in on the action. I do the same thing. If it goes to gazillion, I might get one ticket. Just to do it. I don't know. I usually give it to my wife, just for the kicks.

Posted by: Some Nigerian guy at March 15, 2014 04:31 PM (4Mv1T)

127 I know it wouldn't ruin my life. I also know that it would ruin some people's lives. No way to be 100% sure, but I'm 99.44% sure things would be much better for me for the rest of my life. I am not going to go get drugged up or party with gangstas or hire hookers (seriously?) and get VD or something. I would move, have a couple of nice cars, find some nice lady who likes at least half the things I like and isn't kookoobananas, and maybe start checking off some of that bucket list. In good time, mind you, I like my sleep as well.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 04:31 PM (qyfb5)

128 Feel free, remora is a real, non-porny thing. Unless someone came up with a new name for some really sick sex stuff.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 04:31 PM (ZshNr)

129 I hate to break it to you all, but the cash option is ONLY $224 mill. You all will have to cut back.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:31 PM (0FSuD)

130 Is it safe to google remora?

Tammy, it's just some little critter what feeds off sharks or something.  Yes, you can google it.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:31 PM (8lmkt)

131 @125 - give us your ticket first.

Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 04:31 PM (o+SC1)

132 Off dang Scamster sock

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 04:31 PM (4Mv1T)

133 I'd buy a 400 million dollar car. Then crash it. *** You wouldn't be related to AUstin Dillon would you?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:32 PM (DmNpO)

134 What 75 million ain't good enough for ya? Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 08:29 PM (Usdw3) The thing is, I don't think about it til people start talking about it.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:32 PM (Pfvig)

135 Am I actually witnessing a conversation about "if i won the lottery" by the smartest group of people I know?

Kill me now.

Posted by: shredded chi at March 15, 2014 08:30 PM (t1EZK)


somewhere, Andrew Breitbart is laughing himself sick.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:32 PM (8lmkt)

136 @129 - so we can only fund truck bombs to take out NYT, but not WaPo or MMFA? I'm depressed.

Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 04:32 PM (o+SC1)

137 124, that's how I felt when I hit the NJ pick3 four days in a row last week, at around 250 a pop....

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 04:32 PM (Usdw3)

138 Remora is probably porn in Japan.

Posted by: Beagle at March 15, 2014 04:33 PM (sOtz/)

139 Am I actually witnessing a conversation about "if i won the lottery" by the smartest group of people I know? Kill me now. *** Then forget the lottery and imagine you discovered oil in your backyard.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:33 PM (DmNpO)

140 First person I would tell; ex wife.

Posted by: Frankly at March 15, 2014 04:33 PM (Inp7d)

141 Right away I'd call the owners of the Indians to let them know that me and the Mrs. (Kate, nee Upton) will donate whatever it takes to extend Jason Kipnis and Justin Masterson, trade for Clifton Phifer Lee and win the Series.

Posted by: MTF at March 15, 2014 04:33 PM (ankrI)

142 the various familial remora

Ha. No one with more than one degree of cosanguinity gets a dime, although I could be persuaded to pay my brother the going rate for living in my house and checking the mail/feeding the cats while I travel.

And then when it's time to choose my heir from amongst my nieces and nephews, the puzzle could be quite elaborate indeed.

Posted by: HR at March 15, 2014 04:33 PM (hO8IJ)

143 Just make out a contract, and treat her fair when you kick her out for a younger prettier one. Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 08:26 PM (Pfvig) fnord (Pfvig) #1 That's why you check the family album in the first place. #2 Naaah, I ain't like that. I'd *START* with a younger, prettier one.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 04:34 PM (qyfb5)

144 Is this tonight?

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 15, 2014 04:34 PM (bitz6)

145 Hire a hitman to kill shredded chi. Nothing painful; just quick.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at March 15, 2014 04:34 PM (hn5v5)

146 Having a lot of money does not have to fuck you up. I know a lot of VERY rich people that live normal lives. One was an Asst Scout Master for ten years at his church. He's worth about $300 mill, but you would have no clue. Well, maybe a little clue his last name is Belk.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:34 PM (0FSuD)

147 No ticket yet, probably buy a couple. Don't know who I would telll Dream purchase, I'd try to buy UPN or WGN or failing that a set of newspapers and set out to become the new Rupert Murdock. And a small mountain ranch for fun.

Posted by: PaleRider at March 15, 2014 04:34 PM (ql12X)

148 Also, I'd build my own skeet course in my new back meadow.

Posted by: MTF at March 15, 2014 04:34 PM (ankrI)

149 And then when it's time to choose my heir from amongst my nieces and nephews, the puzzle could be quite elaborate indeed. I'm picturing an illegal monkey knife fight on a freighter past the 12 mile limit.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:35 PM (QupBk)

150 No Tuesday. http://tinyurl.com/5g9sr

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:35 PM (0FSuD)

151 Some states are required by law to release your name, others are not. They want to set up press conferences so they can get free publicity. And they threaten you if you don't that the reporters will come after you so it is better to do the presser. I say fuck 'em. Let the tabloids hunt me down! They won't take me alive!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: The Yellow Pug at March 15, 2014 04:35 PM (r7mtu)

152 124, that's how I felt when I hit the NJ pick3 four days in a row last week, at around 250 a pop....

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 08:32 PM (Usdw3)


whoa, how YOU doin'?    it's fun, it's free money, it's what bammy's peeps think every time they swipe that card.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:35 PM (8lmkt)

153 Laser Hair Removal for Ace. That way he wouldn't be so bashful around the humans.

Posted by: garrett at March 15, 2014 04:35 PM (kUhDV)

154 I hate to break it to you all, but the cash option is ONLY $224 mill. You all will have to cut back. Pfft, like I'd take the annual payout. Some of these states are getting to the point where they'll probably start borrowing against lottery funds.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 04:35 PM (gBnkX)

155 "140 First person I would tell; ex wife." Nicely played.

Posted by: Lauren at March 15, 2014 04:35 PM (hFL/3)

156 Am I actually witnessing a conversation about "if i won the lottery" by the smartest group of people I know? Posted by: shredded chi at March 15, 2014 08:30 PM (t1EZK) fnord (t1EZK) It's cheaper than a movie, and on average I bet at least as entertaining.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 04:36 PM (qyfb5)

157 140 First person I would tell; ex wife. Posted by: Frankly at March 15, 2014 08:33 PM (Inp7d -------- Heh. I used to post under that name yeas ago.

Posted by: shredded chi at March 15, 2014 04:36 PM (t1EZK)

158 And, I'd hire a direct mail firm to send massive amounts of hate mail every day to Harry Reid.

Posted by: MTF at March 15, 2014 04:36 PM (ankrI)

159 I'd buy up all the ammo until the Feds started to complain and circulate conspiracy theories.

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 15, 2014 04:36 PM (bitz6)

160 I have a 100% win record for scratch off games. I've played one time. I won 20 bucks.

Posted by: Lauren at March 15, 2014 04:36 PM (hFL/3)

161 146--that's different. People who work for it, or who are born into wealthy families might deal with it better than some loser who suddenly has 500 million thrust upon them...

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 04:37 PM (Usdw3)

162 I'm picturing an illegal monkey knife fight on a freighter past the 12 mile limit.

Think of a Dan Brown novel, except based in fact and not so easy a third-grader could do it.

Posted by: HR at March 15, 2014 04:37 PM (hO8IJ)

163

The Mega-Lotto isn't a lump sum payout, is it?

 

Don't you have to decide whether you want it in monthly checks or a lump sum?

And the lump sum is usually a lot less.

 

In light of current events...I don't think I would take the monthly increments.

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 04:38 PM (8quPO)

164 I have a 100% win record for scratch off games. I've played one time. I won 20 bucks. With Great power comes Great Responsibility.

Posted by: garrett at March 15, 2014 04:38 PM (kUhDV)

165 Well, maybe a little clue his last name is Belk. Posted by: Nip Sip ----------------------- I went to Boy Scouts with the Belk Bros in the late 60's. John, Tim, and McCay (who I think was a cousin?)

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 04:38 PM (4Mv1T)

166 My plan would only change much like below 30-40 million. Above that is cake. Like 1 million I'd pretty much have to spend most of it and not change my life *that* much. 10 million I *might* be able to retire like a normal person (medical and family stuff). You get up to 30-40 million, well, my fantasies fall into two categories. Some are really not that expensive (in those terms), and the rest money couldn't even buy anyway.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 04:38 PM (qyfb5)

167 First thing I'd do?  Buy a car--used but reliable--and a rural house.  Preferrably a farmhouse with no neighbors within 100 yards.  Payments for the car and a mortgage for the house.  No red flags....

Who would I tell?  Noone.  Not even Die Frau until everything was in place....

I would then apply for a transfer on my job to the county in which my new house is located; if denied I would retire.  Otherwise I'd continue working as cover until normal retirement (10/18/22) but invest most of the balance.  Live as I do now--frugally--with no unnecessary big purchases.  Stay off of the radar...

Get out of Philadelphia and start a new life as a quiet and unremarkable guy in a quiet rural setting.  I'll take up gardening and fishing again and maybe some other low-key hobbies like painting.  But mainly I'd get the Hell outta the pressure cooker I'm currently in and just disappear as far as most people are concerned....

Posted by: Jenk at March 15, 2014 04:38 PM (e2ysZ)

168

 assless chaps made out of brontosaurus foreskins

 

The last quote I got on those was  out of this world.  I hope you can find a cheaper supplier.

Posted by: Ronster at March 15, 2014 04:38 PM (puNd6)

169 I bought a scratch off ticket the other day and handed it to the boy and him "have fun, you get to keep any money it wins." Little fucker won $20.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 04:38 PM (gBnkX)

170 Oh, and one thing I would do the next day, move to FL, so NC won't get but three months of income tax.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:39 PM (0FSuD)

171 I don't think I would take the monthly increments.

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 08:38 PM (8quPO)


nobody with a molecule of functioning brain matter would ever take the annual payouts, wheatie.  srsly, even my cats would know better.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:39 PM (8lmkt)

172 Hire out a RenFest site and hold a massive crossbow vs. longbow fight.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at March 15, 2014 04:39 PM (QBm1P)

173 Scratch-offs are truly the devil's toilet paper. I spent $50 on a variety of tickets once and didn't win a thing. Of course, another time I spent a dollar and one 500.....

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 04:39 PM (Usdw3)

174 Am I actually witnessing a conversation about "if i won the lottery" by the smartest group of people I know? $1 for my daydreams or $10.50 for Hollywood's idea of daydreams for me? I'll play the lottery.

Posted by: t-bird at March 15, 2014 04:39 PM (FcR7P)

175 Money can't buy love, but it can rent it.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:40 PM (QupBk)

176

1. Pay off my debt and my moms; put some aside for the tribe that they could have when they finished college with a B.S. Not a B.A.

 

2. Find a really good estate lawyer and get my estate set up to pass to my oldest girl.

 

3. Tell the grumpy grandma as we board a private jet to go spend the next 3 months in the Carribean, planning where we're going to build a house.

4. Travel to the south Pacific following the route Captain Cook did on his second voyage.

 

 

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at March 15, 2014 04:40 PM (A9hpr)

177 Posted by: Jenk at March 15, 2014 08:38 PM (e2ysZ)

If you win, please don't share the news here.  Because I would have to srsly consider killing myself.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:40 PM (8lmkt)

178 My old bosse's wife used to give us Christmas coffee cups full of candy and a couple of scratchers. I got a $500 winner one year.

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 15, 2014 04:40 PM (bitz6)

179
In before one of you reprobates says "I'd buy 400 million scratch-off tickets and REALLY cash in!"


Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 15, 2014 04:41 PM (AHzA7)

180 The first thing the winner needs to buy is a good book on statistics because by buying the lottery ticket in the first place you demonstrated a poor understanding of math.

Posted by: Anchovy at March 15, 2014 04:41 PM (MNxW+)

181 In before one of you reprobates says "I'd buy 400 million scratch-off tickets and REALLY cash in!" That's so crazy, it just might work..

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:42 PM (QupBk)

182

129 I hate to break it to you all, but the cash option is ONLY $224 mill.

 

Ah. Okay, so probably around half that after taxes.

 

$110 million?

You could do a lot with that.

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 04:42 PM (8quPO)

183 Pudding, lots of pudding.

Posted by: Traditional Moron at March 15, 2014 04:42 PM (C94J7)

184 First thing I would do is move out of CA before they can tax me back to where I was the day before. Tell my wife first. Buy ammo production line. Get sharks with frickin' laser beams on thier heads.

Posted by: Beer Ninja at March 15, 2014 04:42 PM (598AG)

185 Around here they advertise throwing a few lotto tickets into the Christmas gift. That's always seemed like a terrible idea ot me. If they win..come on, everyone feels like they should give you a cut, but what if they don't? Awkward.

Posted by: Lauren at March 15, 2014 04:42 PM (hFL/3)

186
Money can't buy love, but it can rent it.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 08:40 PM (QupBk)







What's the old saying?

If it flies, floats or fucks, rent it.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 15, 2014 04:42 PM (AHzA7)

187 Little fucker won $20.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 08:38 PM (gBnkX)


Oh, Burn!  I do that sometimes, I buy a ticket and give it to the poor lady what works in the AM/PM.  I'd pretty much be as happy if she won as if I did myself.  She's a sweetheart and I know she works way too hard, for way too little.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:43 PM (8lmkt)

188 I bought a scratch off ticket the other day and handed it to the boy and him "have fun, you get to keep any money it wins." Little fucker won $20. *** Check this: http://huff.to/1jREhUe

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 04:43 PM (DmNpO)

189 I'd give a few million to the Cock Brothers.

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 15, 2014 04:43 PM (bitz6)

190 I went to Boy Scouts with the Belk Bros in the late 60's. John, Tim, and McCay (who I think was a cousin?) Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 08:38 PM (4Mv1T) No, McKay is their brother, he turned religious and moved to CO. They just honored Tim and Johnny Wednesday night at the Leadership dinner. My wife use to baby sit them, seriously. Their sister is one of her best friends. Small world.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:43 PM (0FSuD)

191 For the first and last time, buying a lottery ticket has fuckall to do with an understanding of math. I don't give a shit what Einstein said.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 04:44 PM (gBnkX)

192 Since we're on the subject, I would drink myself to death, and leave the rest to the Horde.

Posted by: shredded chi at March 15, 2014 04:44 PM (t1EZK)

193 Posted by: Lauren at March 15, 2014 08:42 PM (hFL/3)

Yeah, I don't often gift lottery tickets to anyone, because no shrink is good enough to make me whole if they win.  Except for that lady at the AM/PM.  I'd be cool with that.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:45 PM (8lmkt)

194 It's funny because I don't have expensive tastes and habits. Outside of a couple cool cars, what else could I buy?  How many books and vinyl albums--and a really, really, really good sound system to play them on--do I really need?

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 04:45 PM (Usdw3)

195 I never play the lottery, but those are actually very difficult questions when I think about them. I don't have any good answers.

Posted by: rickl at March 15, 2014 04:45 PM (sdi6R)

196 There's really only thing to do with the money: Restore the family estate in Peruvia.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 15, 2014 04:46 PM (oFCZn)

197 How many books and vinyl albums--and a really, really, really good sound system to play them on--do I really need? Minions are the key. So you have albums, have your own DJ to play them.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:46 PM (QupBk)

198 How many books and vinyl albums--and a really, really, really good sound system to play them on--do I really need?

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 08:45 PM (Usdw3)


I have shitwads of all that stuff.  Happy to send it all to you.  Are you anywhere near El Lay? 

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:46 PM (8lmkt)

199 Still need more info, but the captain appears to have been in a very angry, upset frame of mind just hours before the flight as an opposition politician he supported had just been sentenced to 5 years in jail on trumped up charges. At least that's how his supporters felt. Jim Hoft ‏@gatewaypundit UPDATE: #MH370 Pilot Was Political Fanatic – Attended Trial of Opposition Leader Hours Before Flight http://shar.es/RkYJA @gatewaypundit

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 04:46 PM (ZPrif)

200 Dream purchase, I'd try to buy UPN or WGN or failing that a set of newspapers and set out to become the new Rupert Murdock. And a small mountain ranch for fun.

Posted by: PaleRider at March 15, 2014 08:34 PM (ql12X)

 

You realize that UPN hasn't existed for quite some time right?

Posted by: buzzion at March 15, 2014 04:46 PM (LI48c)

201 I only need 200 acres of land, so I can build my golf course.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 04:46 PM (gBnkX)

202 People don't buy lottery tickets based on faulty math, most people are happy just having the 1-in a half-billion chance they'll win life changing money. It's a ticket, you take the ride. In my case it's a chance to shoot the shit with a far flung group every month or two.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 04:46 PM (ZshNr)

203 No, McKay is their brother, he turned religious and moved to CO. They just honored Tim and Johnny Wednesday night at the Leadership dinner. My wife use to baby sit them, seriously. Their sister is one of her best friends. Small world. Posted by: Nip Sip -------------------------- In a galaxy far, far away. Troop 55 at Myers Park Presbyterian Church. Dick Carter was Scoutmaster.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 04:47 PM (4Mv1T)

204

171...nobody with a molecule of functioning brain matter would ever take the annual payouts, wheatie. srsly, even my cats would know better.

 

Oh I know, Peaches.

You would have to have an unhealthy faith in the system to take the incremental payouts.

 

I wonder what happens to the rest of the 'jackpot money' when someone takes the lump sum payout?

Or...did the total even exist?

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 04:47 PM (8quPO)

205 I think I would get a big boat and a captain and sail around. Rent or buy, get started on that right away. Maybe start in Tampa and Hook around to Key West and eventually the BVI. Hang out at Virgin Gorda and Tortola mainly for a month and reassess.

Posted by: Beagle at March 15, 2014 04:47 PM (sOtz/)

206 Did you ever notice that Mitch McConnell looks like he has wandered away from the home and needs someone to take him back?

Posted by: WalrusRex at March 15, 2014 04:48 PM (/0Xze)

207 199 What's an opposition leader? Would that be like John Boner with a spine and some nuts?

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 15, 2014 04:49 PM (bitz6)

208 *clapclap* Wipers!

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 04:49 PM (QupBk)

209 I'd get one of them Lace Wigs I've heard about.

Posted by: Traditional Moron at March 15, 2014 04:49 PM (C94J7)

210 I have spent exactly $0 on lottery tickets and scratch offs in the last 10-15 years. But its fun to imagine...

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at March 15, 2014 04:49 PM (osdNx)

211 @180 - Y'know, frankly, I think if I were suddenly rich, like completely stinking rolling-in-the-trough rich, I'd go buy myself the Gulfstream and lease the island villa, then I'd go find some Burger King in BFE that's got some 18yo cheerleader type behind the counter, point out the McLaren F1 out in the parking lot and whisk her off to the airport. If you are the parent of an 18-year-old who works fast-food in BFE, sleep easy, the odds are pretty good you don't need to worry about me.

Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 04:49 PM (o+SC1)

212 I would set up hot mistresses of a variety of nationalities and body types  in  mid-priced condos or townhouses and visit them on a rotating basis....

Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 04:49 PM (Usdw3)

213 206 Did you ever notice that Mitch McConnell  Almost all senators looks like he has wandered away from the home and needs someone to take him back?

Posted by: WalrusRex at March 15, 2014 08:48 PM (/0Xze)

 

FTFY

Posted by: buzzion at March 15, 2014 04:49 PM (LI48c)

214 "What's an opposition leader? Would that be like John Boner with a spine and some nuts?" Too extreme these days.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 04:49 PM (gBnkX)

215 why did i type luger when i clearly meant ruger?!

Posted by: concrete girl at March 15, 2014 04:50 PM (iJwLj)

216 I'd probably send a mil to Rick Perry.  And I would not even expect him to be my bitch.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 04:50 PM (8lmkt)

217 Posted by: JoeyBagels at March 15, 2014 08:45 PM (Usdw3) I have always been incredibly grateful that I love the simple things in life. I can have anything I want right now... books, music, flowers, perfume, candles.... nothing much out of reach at all. That is such a blessing, such a huge blessing.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:51 PM (Pfvig)

218 In a galaxy far, far away. Troop 55 at Myers Park Presbyterian Church. Dick Carter was Scoutmaster. Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 08:47 PM (4Mv1T) Dick was there Wednesday night. Still as chipper as ever. We raised $550,000. McCrory came and gave Tim and Johnny the Order of the Long Leaf Pine. It was a good night. Someone tell him they are Democrats.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:51 PM (0FSuD)

219

I hate to break it to you all, but the cash option is ONLY $224 mill.

Ah. Okay, so probably around half that after taxes.

$110 million?
You could do a lot with that.

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 08:42 PM (8quPO)

 

Half for me, the other half is for the family. 

Have to find a good lawyer and tax accountant.

Set up a charity, with Yours Truly as the CEO.  Friends and family on the board.  Find a cause that involves lots of travel to oversee the results.  Maybe support for school vouchers and charter schools?  Fund right wing causes; unlike every other charity in existence. 

 

 

 

Posted by: rd at March 15, 2014 04:51 PM (D+lxs)

220 @211 - and if something weird did happen, well, all I can say is that your grandkids will go to really good schools...

Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 04:52 PM (o+SC1)

221 I'd found the Alex Moon boarding school for wayward teenaged girls.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at March 15, 2014 04:52 PM (lr3d7)

222 I'd buy an armored regiment. I could use one...

Posted by: Grey Fox at March 15, 2014 04:53 PM (MMgj0)

223 Don't worry Peaches, you're safe.  I'm quite happy to be a rich ANONYMOUS moron with a ghost of a secret smile (invisible on the interwebs).  Otherwise we're on the same boat but my view sucks.

True story:  When I was in high school my father was selling raffle tickets with a grand prize of $2,000.00.  Lotta money in 1979.  I offered to buy the lot of his tickets, but he talked me out of it.  He then sold the winning ticket to an already well-to-do retiree.  I'm still kicking myself for listening to him....

Posted by: Jenk at March 15, 2014 04:54 PM (e2ysZ)

224 I'd build an amusement park where you'd only be allowed to ride the rides if you were BELOW the required height line, then I'd sit back and wallow in all that sweet midget cash.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 04:54 PM (ZshNr)

225 TR, next thing you are going to tell me is your grandfather built Eastover school. Liar. ha ha

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:54 PM (0FSuD)

226 Nope buzzion,  I don't follow TV much or most media.  I'd have to hire a horde member to manage that media empire for me. 

Posted by: PaleRider at March 15, 2014 04:54 PM (m+nIW)

227 Oh-- the Malaysian opposition leader was jailed for 5 years for being gay. Which apparently is illegal in Malaysia.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 04:56 PM (ZPrif)

228 Um, send Ace a few bucks so he could relax once in a while....and send WeasleZippers some cash as well.... Hire someone to update Ace's Amazon store.... the books section is still from 2012 & 2011... (I know this of course, cause I just shopped there a bit to send Ace some silver dimes).... Make sure my family and a couple close friends have their homes paid off and some emergency fund cash on hand.

Posted by: Some Guy in Wisconsin at March 15, 2014 04:56 PM (uQFdq)

229 and i'd give ace several millions to write some best selling mystery novels.

Posted by: concrete girl at March 15, 2014 04:56 PM (iJwLj)

230 TR, next thing you are going to tell me is your grandfather built Eastover school. Liar. ha ha Posted by: Nip Sip ---------------------------------------- A banned Moron in Charlotte your age somehow got the idea my grandfather built that school. Huh. You don't sound like Billy Bob.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 04:56 PM (4Mv1T)

231 226 Nope buzzion, I don't follow TV much or most media. I'd have to hire a horde member to manage that media empire for me.

Posted by: PaleRider at March 15, 2014 08:54 PM (m+nIW)

 

Yeah, them and the WB merged a couple of years back to become The CW.

Posted by: buzzion at March 15, 2014 04:56 PM (LI48c)

232

216 I'd probably send a mil to Rick Perry. And I would not even expect him to be my bitch.

 

Excellent idea, Peaches.

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 04:57 PM (8quPO)

233 Once can never have too many books, or music. I love vinyl, so much richer sounding. We only have around 24 linear feet of vinyl left, though. Had to scale down when we moved.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 04:57 PM (Pfvig)

234 229 and i'd give ace several millions to write some best selling mystery novels. Will it be about a missing plane in Asia?

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:57 PM (0FSuD)

235 I agree with whoever suggested hitting ace's tip jar. I'd send him a fuckton of conditional cash. Ampersands for everyone.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 04:57 PM (gBnkX)

236 .... the rest of the money WILL be spent on Hookers and Blow.

Posted by: Some Guy in Wisconsin at March 15, 2014 04:57 PM (uQFdq)

237 Anyone read Rush Revere yet?

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 15, 2014 04:57 PM (bitz6)

238 Buy an Independence-class LCS, re-name it Tuesday's Child, and turn it into a world-class party boat. Which is kind of dumb, because I don't really like parties. But it would make it easier for me to meet people. Also, I could totally get Kate to go waterskiing with that. That would be awesome.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 04:58 PM (qyfb5)

239 237 Anyone read Rush Revere yet?

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 15, 2014 08:57 PM (bitz6)

 

Every third caller on Rush's program did.

Posted by: buzzion at March 15, 2014 04:58 PM (LI48c)

240 "227 Oh-- the Malaysian opposition leader was jailed for 5 years for being gay. Which apparently is illegal in Malaysia." Isn't sending him to jail the exact opposite thing to do if you want to discourage his homosexual behavior? It's like Disneyland for those folks- just with more stabbings and drugs.

Posted by: Naes1984 at March 15, 2014 04:58 PM (LiHKo)

241 So now it's a gay thing, too? Wonderful, that should make for even more brilliant and professional media coverage.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 04:58 PM (ZshNr)

242 $110 million?
You could do a lot with that.

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 08:42 PM (8quPO)


Someone could almost survive the Obama years with that kind of cash....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at March 15, 2014 04:58 PM (AC0lD)

243 Who?

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 04:58 PM (0FSuD)

244

We have already discussed this, Mr. H and I, and the consensus is a beachfront condo on Tybee  Island, pay off the kids student loans, see how much it would cost to buy the grandchildren.

Posted by: ALH at March 15, 2014 04:59 PM (btTLZ)

245 Someone could almost survive the Obama years with that kind of cash....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at March 15, 2014 08:58 PM (AC0lD)


But only if you made some sweeeet campaign contributions to duh one!

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 15, 2014 05:00 PM (o3MSL)

246 My compound would definitely get a moat.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 05:00 PM (gBnkX)

247 I don't buy tickets generally, but if I happen to be in a store and the mood strikes I'll get a couple. Which happened today before I even knew the bigarse payout. Two or three dollars for several days of pleasurable dreaming is a decent buy in my book. First off: Husband gets told immediately. Sign the damn thing. Scan it. Put the original in my security deposit box first thing the bank opens. Print out the scan and recheck the numbers 3 times a day for a week. After a week, go to attorney to figure out the scene and plan accordingly. Wait two more weeks. Discuss the situation of how I'm going to ease out of the job at work, though not talking about the why of it yet. Wait another month. Retrieve the ticket and date it. Get a hairdo and make over that I'll never ever wear again. The night before I go to the Officials, break the news to my brother. "You won't believe it, I just found this lottery ticket that I mislaid for almost two months...." Promise him a million dollars if he never ever hits me up for a loan or handout again. Go to the officials. Unfortunately in Cali you can't refuse to be identified or filmed, but I will try to look different enough from my usual self to not be able to be recognized on the street, though not so much the Officials won't accept my photo ID. In any interview, be sure to mention you intend to donate to some charities BUT any that try contact and beg from you will be automatically disqualified from your generosity. Immediately go to a fat farm and lose a lot of weight. Back slimmer and less recognizable, get a new house and travel. And buy one piece of art from a Christies' auction for the sheer hell of being able to do it.

Posted by: Sister Sestina at March 15, 2014 05:00 PM (Em6d4)

248 Sharks. With lasers.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 15, 2014 05:01 PM (qanmw)

249 open 100 contracts heh, heh, heh...

Posted by: emdfl at March 15, 2014 05:01 PM (JU3Nv)

250 played $1.
First thing I'd do is change my ringtone to They Might Be Giants' "If I had a million dollars.
First person I would tell is the lady ahead of me at the gas staton who bought $180 worth. 
First purchase, a very short Johnny Paycheck concert for my boss. (or a Johnny Paycheck cover band if he's dead.)
Dream come true? Fund Ice Pirates 2.
 
On a semi-relevant note for any actual winner, I found myself in China, where the restrooms have no seats or paper.  Maybe it's different with $100's, but $1's are scratchy and not absorbent at all.

Posted by: Don't make me go Roundhead. at March 15, 2014 05:02 PM (r/XjE)

251

Anyone read Rush Revere yet?
Posted by: Boss Moss at March 15, 2014 08:57 PM (bitz6)

Every third caller on Rush's program did.

Posted by: buzzion at March 15, 2014 08:58 PM (LI48c)

 

 

Call Screeners are a wonderful thing.  Especially when you have more than two calls to screen. 

Posted by: not Bo Snerdly at March 15, 2014 05:03 PM (D+lxs)

252 If you are in one of the states that participates, are you playing? How much have you spent? Yes, $5 If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Call my tax accountant The first person you would tell? Wife The first purchase you would make? Desert eagle handgun and ammunition. New 2015 ford f-150 when they hit the showroom What dream would you make come true?

Posted by: Airandee at March 15, 2014 05:03 PM (96/TO)

253 "Isn't sending him to jail the exact opposite thing to do if you want to discourage his homosexual behavior?" I know, right?

Posted by: Oscar Wilde at March 15, 2014 05:04 PM (hFL/3)

254 Hello, lurkers!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:04 PM (Pfvig)

255 250 The Koran is super absorbent.

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 15, 2014 05:04 PM (bitz6)

256

Give it up, 'rons and 'ettes- I'm winning this one. I'm starting my own SuperPAC and aim to irritate lefties even more than the Kochs do. 

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at March 15, 2014 05:05 PM (QaP4T)

257 Is it just me or does G. Stephanopoulos sound more like Baba Wawa every day ?

I got to experience being a LIV, they dug up the phone line on our street while they were putting in fire hydrants and water line. A week without internet and kids home f or spring break.

Posted by: Bill sometimes bill from Canada at March 15, 2014 05:05 PM (Bsyms)

258

 

On a semi-relevant note for any actual winner, I found myself in China, where the restrooms have no seats or paper. Maybe it's different with $100's, but $1's are scratchy and not absorbent at all.

Posted by: Don't make me go Roundhead. at March 15, 2014 09:02 PM (r/XjE)

 

 

Not that I would know, but the new $100 bills are plasticky.  According to the U of MN Dorm-rats they make great straws for molly. 

Posted by: So I've heard at March 15, 2014 05:06 PM (D+lxs)

259 250.   Heh,  BTDT with Rupees in India.  My one time traveling internationally.   But the way things are going here I kind of think I should stock up now while premium TP can still be bought. 

Posted by: PaleRider at March 15, 2014 05:06 PM (m+nIW)

260 then I'd go find some Burger King in BFE that's got some 18yo cheerleader type behind the counter, point out the McLaren F1 out in the parking lot and whisk her off to the airport. Posted by: JEM at March 15, 2014 08:49 PM (o+SC1) fnord (o+SC1) I am such a nerd. I would totally do that in a college library instead. That hot girl who studied instead of joining the cheerleading squad or partying? Yeah, your parents said it would pay off, didn't they? We joke (mostly), but I can't help thinking maybe, just once, if I were in that position I'd *at least* go pay the scholarship of these hardworking young ladies who barely has a penny, if only so see someone else (hey it doesn't hurt if she's cute) "win the lottery." Even anonymously, at a distance. That look on people's faces is worth a mint.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 05:06 PM (qyfb5)

261 Dana Perino tweeted.... http://t.co/IeExqvj7DR Awesome!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 05:07 PM (DmNpO)

Posted by: So I've heard at March 15, 2014 05:07 PM (D+lxs)

263

244...see how much it would cost to buy the grandchildren.

 

You could probably rent them for a lot less. 

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 05:07 PM (8quPO)

264 I wonder if I could rent Clay Matthews for a week? A month? A calendar year?

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:07 PM (Pfvig)

265 Awesome!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 09:07 PM (DmNpO)


too cute!!

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 05:07 PM (8lmkt)

266 I've always thought I'd take the full cash amount over time than one (diminished) lump sum, but can I truly trust the State of California not to fuck me over in the course of a few decades?

Posted by: Sister Sestina at March 15, 2014 05:08 PM (Em6d4)

267 I wonder if I could rent Clay Matthews for a week? A month? A calendar year?

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 09:07 PM (Pfvig)


What am I, chopped liver? 

Posted by: Tim Tebow at March 15, 2014 05:09 PM (8lmkt)

268 I truly trust the State of California not to fuck me over

I'm sorry, but your tinfoil hat is askew . . .

Posted by: Tim Tebow at March 15, 2014 05:10 PM (8lmkt)

269 Anwar Ibrahim is the opposition leader that the captain was a huge supporter of -- enough to attend his trial for sodomy. Ibahim is married with 5 kids. He appears to have been involved in politics most of his life. Politics in Malaysia seems super corrupt. Ibrahim has been jailed at least once, maybe more. Looks like Malaysian politicians take turn stealing from the public when in power and jailing each other when out of power. A former aide accused him of sodomy in 2008. He was acquitted. But a judge just overturned his acquittal and sent him to jail last week -- right before an election he was apparently set to win on March 23rd. Sounds like Malaysia is super corrupt. This guy is probably corrupt, too. Seems like the captain was heavily emotionally involved in Malaysian politics -- and on the losing side of some nasty business. Imagine Obama having Romney jailed on 4 year old sodomy charge two weeks before the election - charges he'd already been acquitted of.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 05:10 PM (ZPrif)

270 WTF with the twenty questions? But, what the hell I'll bite... If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Decompress by spouting my conservative opinions to those I have to walk on egg shells around. The first person you would tell? My father. The first purchase you would make? A Vacant Hotel, and turn it into an old dog retirement home. What dream would you make come true? My Aunt's who always wanted to retire and take care of old dogs in comfort.

Posted by: ImaPearlClutcher at March 15, 2014 05:10 PM (/peGd)

271 oops

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 05:10 PM (8lmkt)

272 but can I truly trust the State of California not to fuck me over in the course of a few decades?

Posted by: Sister Sestina at March 15, 2014 09:08 PM (Em6d4)

No!

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at March 15, 2014 05:10 PM (AC0lD)

273 but can I truly trust the State of California not to fuck me over in the course of a few decades? Posted by: Sister Sestina at March 15, 2014 09:08 PM (Em6d4) fnord (Em6d4) No.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 05:11 PM (qyfb5)

274 I don't think Timmy is for sale and I am not sure but what I'd get a better ride with Clay, if the virginity thing is true. Be worth a million to just stare at him, I suppose!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:11 PM (Pfvig)

275 Sounds like Malaysia is super corrupt.

well, that is a giant fuckin' buzz kill.

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 05:11 PM (8lmkt)

276 Put out contracts on the Sea Shepherd and the rest of the Whale Wars crew. Build my underground volcano base, so when I tell my story to other people, I can mention the part about a volcano. Shirts for the guys.

Posted by: EC at March 15, 2014 05:11 PM (doBIb)

277 Posted by: ImaPearlClutcher at March 15, 2014 09:10 PM (/peGd)

LOVE your nic!!!! 

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 05:12 PM (8lmkt)

278 OK, I just thought of some answers. If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Buy a new car. I'm perfectly satisfied with the 1991 Toyota Corolla station wagon I currently own. Unfortunately, while it runs great and everything works, the body is rusting away. It's in bad shape. My mechanic has basically told me that it won't pass inspection next time, and he has bent over backwards to pass it the last two years. But I have no idea how to buy a used car nowadays. The last time I used newspaper want ads. Now I think you need to do it online somehow. I don't have a clue. I'm scared of the unknown. So if I had lots of money, it would be easier to just walk into a dealership, plonk down the cash, and drive off. The first person you would tell? My boss. I can't think of anyone else. And, no, I wouldn't quit my job. The first purchase you would make? A bottle of Jim Beam, since I'm running low. I'd probably buy something more expensive, though. What dream would you make come true? No idea. I can think of one woman I'd try to buy and make her my personal sex toy, but that would probably only be interesting for an hour or so. I'd probably buy a ride on one of the suborbital space flights whenever they become available, such as Virgin Galactic or XCOR's Lynx. I couldn't do an orbital flight because I'd have to quit smoking. Not gonna happen.

Posted by: rickl at March 15, 2014 05:12 PM (sdi6R)

279 We joke (mostly), but I can't help thinking maybe, just once, if I were in that position I'd *at least* go pay the scholarship of these hardworking young ladies who barely has a penny, if only so see someone else (hey it doesn't hurt if she's cute) "win the lottery." *** I'd take some serious pleasure in opening a charitable foundation in my grandmother and grandfather's names. I've imagined for years what I'd do. My grandmother spent nearly her entire life as a wife and mom, cooking three meals a day (incluing biscuits) and never learned to drive, swim, or ride a bike. She was totally dependent on an unappreciative family to get around. I'd start a shuttle service for the elderly in my hometown. My grandfather was disabled with emphysema but worked his ass off to never take a handout. He always found time to help his neighbors. I'd start a service to do home repairs for the elderly and infirmed in his name

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 05:14 PM (DmNpO)

280 Rick, we need to know which woman! I think you could be sedated enough to do an orbital flight. They have pretty good drugs now. I KNEW you'd want something rockety!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:15 PM (Pfvig)

281 Oh, any Mt Gay rum drinkers out there? Better stock up. I just bought all Frugal McDougal had. Six cases. http://tinyurl.com/p78t8xf

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:15 PM (0FSuD)

282 Oh, Nied, what an awesome idea. I love me some old folks.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:16 PM (Pfvig)

283 Two chicks at the same time, man  ... 400 times.

Posted by: Lawrence at March 15, 2014 05:16 PM (5ikDv)

284 The first purchase you would make? A Vacant Hotel, and turn it into an old dog retirement home. What dream would you make come true? My Aunt's who always wanted to retire and take care of old dogs in comfort. *** Awww

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 05:16 PM (DmNpO)

285 281 That'll last through, what, next weekend?

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at March 15, 2014 05:17 PM (ojnk6)

286 So the guy got charged with a charge usually made by Islamists, got acquitted, but must have also suffered some political damage, then he gets jailed on the same charge, the pilot watches the trial and decides he hates Malaysia, so he does what? Ditches it? After a conflict with the co-pilot? With co-pilot complicity? It's definitely a thing, but I don't know what it is. Must immediately brush up on Malaysian politics/power struggles.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 05:17 PM (ZshNr)

287 I wonder if I could rent Clay Matthews for a week? A month? A calendar year? *** Nah. Gronk.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 05:17 PM (DmNpO)

288 285 281 That'll last through, what, next weekend? Posted by: ManWithNoParty at March 15, 2014 09:17 PM (ojnk6) If my sons don't show up. Those cases are handles.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:18 PM (0FSuD)

289 Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 09:15 PM (0FSuD)

you bought SIX CASES of rum?  I need to genuflect now, every time I see you . . .

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 05:20 PM (8lmkt)

290 1) First thing I'd do?  Pay the taxes.
2) First person I'd call?  My dad.
3) First thing I'd buy?  Signed copies of all The Beatle's albums (or as many as I have the money for).
4) Dream I'd make come true?  I'd spend the summer driving cross-country to see a game in all the Major League ballparks.  I'd visit as many Minor League parks as I could, too.

Posted by: nat at March 15, 2014 05:20 PM (SJU5w)

291 http://youtu.be/LHacDYj8KZM

Posted by: wiserbud at March 15, 2014 05:21 PM (NXg/k)

292 Gronk is a stud and he's funny, but he likes pron stars and I'd worry about catching something. (Altho they're probably cleaner than your run of the mill local groupie) Clay doesn't seem to be a man whore, or else he's very discreet. Or gay, which would match my track record of football crushes. (Because I have A Theory about Timmy)

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:21 PM (Pfvig)

293 The cars I want are mostly not even that expensive. http://bit.ly/1kwv58a Whatup with the missing trim, dude? http://bit.ly/OsN1Fg 99 was definitely the best looking year. http://bit.ly/1cL7cJU I guess you have to have *one* practical car...

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 05:22 PM (qyfb5)

294 Nah.

Gronk.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 09:17 PM (DmNpO)


normally, I would agree with you, Niedermeyer.  however, I know peeps who hang with the Gronk and, apparently, he is a perpetual 12-year-old.  video games and probably semi-disgusting personal habits.  {sadface}

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 05:22 PM (8lmkt)

295 I'd spend the summer driving cross-country to see a game in all the Major League ballparks. I'd visit as many Minor League parks as I could, too. Posted by: nat at March 15, 2014 09:20 PM (SJU5w) Are Gingers invited? Could we end up at Cooperstown in October?

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:23 PM (Pfvig)

296 @289 Yeah, and now it looks like the distillery is not going to permanently close. I have a wedding this spring, so some of it will get used. It doesn't go bad and it's never gone down in price, so it's an "investment", yeah that's it.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:24 PM (0FSuD)

297 http://youtu.be/LHacDYj8KZM *** heh

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 05:24 PM (DmNpO)

298 I'd take some serious pleasure in opening a charitable foundation in my grandmother and grandfather's names. I've imagined for years what I'd do. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 09:14 PM (DmNpO) fnord (DmNpO) Have I mentioned lately that you rock? Because you rock. http://bit.ly/1o9DsrK

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 05:24 PM (qyfb5)

299

Posted by: wiserbud at March 15, 2014 09:21 PM (NXg/k)

 

Hi wiserbud!

Are our two astronauts still up there on the space station?

Do you know?

 

Or have they caught a ride back already.

Posted by: wheatie at March 15, 2014 05:25 PM (8quPO)

300 Peaches, I'd bet cash money that most football players fit that description. Hell most grown men do! Did anyone else see that Decker went to the Jets? I thought I was done with them.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:25 PM (Pfvig)

301 Fun thread NDH. Thanks

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 05:25 PM (gBnkX)

302 normally, I would agree with you, Niedermeyer. however, I know peeps who hang with the Gronk and, apparently, he is a perpetual 12-year-old. video games and probably semi-disgusting personal habits. {sadface} *** You don't think I intend to spend any real time with the guy, do you?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 05:25 PM (DmNpO)

303 Fun thread NDH. Thanks ** You're welcome!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 05:26 PM (DmNpO)

304

I wouldn't forget about the rest of you. I would buy all of you a lifetime supply of ValueRite, new hobo-skinning knives and pants for all the morons.

 

 Don't think I don't care.

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 05:26 PM (R3gO3)

305 What.a.fuckin.day. So much fun to find your water heater in the basement blew a relief valve and has been leaking water for God knows how long...it leaked through to the other side of the wall and soaked all the carpeting. Carpeting and pad are all up and out. Yuck! FML.

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at March 15, 2014 05:27 PM (bCEmE)

306 I'd figure out my tax liability and write a check for that amount to the Catholic Church to reduce it to zero, because fuck the government.

Posted by: --- at March 15, 2014 05:27 PM (MMC8r)

307 i love the lotto......i don't play regularly but when i do i view it as a form of entertainment....because i think of how i would spend it.... i would donate to charities that i already give to and some new ones....my dream is to buy gold bricks and throw them through random peoples windows...they'd be pissed because of the broken window but then so happy that there was a gold brick laying there....

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at March 15, 2014 05:27 PM (u8GsB)

308 Ok, I'll bite...

If you win, what is the first thing you would do?

The first person you would tell?

The first purchase you would make?

What dream would you make come true?


1. Have a triple scotch.

2. My attorney.

3. A 1956 Gibson Les Paul Gold Top (a real one from 1956).

4. Marry Jennifer Lawrence.


Posted by: Anthony L. at March 15, 2014 05:27 PM (34n6F)

309 Just parachuting in, haven't read what anyone else said, but: I do play the lottery once in a while. If it's God's plan that I win, how would I do to thwart him by never playing? The first thing I would do is tell no body. And do nothing different and try not to giggle. Oh, and I did choose the lump sump option right? The first person I would tell is a lawyer. And give him the ticket. And shut the hell up! The first purchase I would make? Once I got the money, no question, a Ferrari. Probably a cheap one, a 456M for under $100K, because I'm like that. The other purchase would be to tell my partner that he could have my share of the company for $1. God Bless Him. What dream would you make come true? I just did that, took my buddy to Mexico with his family. If he wants to come again, I would do that.

Posted by: scottst at March 15, 2014 05:27 PM (BozF0)

310 Have I mentioned lately that you rock? Because you rock. *** *blush*

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 05:27 PM (DmNpO)

311 Yell WooHoo.

Whoever heard it.

Ferraris.

Dunno.

I'd expect an IRS and State tax agent come shipped with the payoff and you wouldn't have to look for financial planners as they'd appear out of the vacuum energy.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at March 15, 2014 05:27 PM (DL2i+)

312 Niedermeyer's Dead Horse!...Thanks for the fun topic.

Posted by: concrete girl at March 15, 2014 05:27 PM (iJwLj)

313 I could use a new knife, Donna, thank you!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:27 PM (Pfvig)

314 Yeah, no idea. The captain is a prime suspect, though, and this info does indicate the possibility of a certain frame of mind. Seems this opposition party and leader considered themselves modernizers and reformers. Ideology not totally clear, socialist to a degree it seems, but a big part was pushing for a less ethnic-based govt. Malaysia hugely favors ethnic Malays -- the pilot was not an ethnic Malay. So the party seemed to be trying to push for more of a ethnicity-blind society. And the dominant Malay-based party had their leader jailed on, seemingly, trumped up sodomy charges. So, in their supporters mind, the forces of backwardness using archaic laws to prevent progress.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 05:28 PM (ZPrif)

315  Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?

Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.

Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?

Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.

Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.

Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.

Peter Gibbons: Good point.

Posted by: obligatory [/i] [/b] at March 15, 2014 05:28 PM (BmmBm)

316 i would donate to charities that i already give to and some new ones....my dream is to buy gold bricks and throw them through random peoples windows...they'd be pissed because of the broken window but then so happy that there was a gold brick laying there... **** HAHAHAHA!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 05:28 PM (DmNpO)

317 I wouldn't forget about the rest of you. I would buy all of you a lifetime supply of ValueRite, new hobo-skinning knives and pants for all the morons. Ummm, you've only got ~170 mil to work with here.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 05:28 PM (gBnkX)

318 FML. Posted by: Tami at March 15, 2014 09:27 PM (bCEmE) Your home owner's insurance should cover that.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:29 PM (0FSuD)

319 First thing I'd purchase is a retirement home for Nancy Pelosi somewhere out where they've got a lot of man eating tigers.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at March 15, 2014 05:30 PM (wdHk6)

320 Who here drinks at the MP Country Club, has a house at Pawley's Island, a Porsche 930, and 100 guns? Just checking for lost friends.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 05:30 PM (4Mv1T)

321 Your home owner's insurance should cover that. Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 09:29 PM (0FSuD) Yeah...less $2,500 deductible. And there will be NO carpeting put back down!

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at March 15, 2014 05:30 PM (bCEmE)

322 322 Who here drinks at the MP Country Club, has a house at Pawley's Island, a Porsche 930, and 100 guns? Just checking for lost friends. Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 09:30 PM (4Mv1T) *raises hand*

Posted by: EC at March 15, 2014 05:30 PM (doBIb)

323 I would donate so much money to defeat Demorats that Harry Reid would hate on me from the Senate floor.

Posted by: WannabeAnglican at March 15, 2014 05:31 PM (g0H8G)

324 *raises hand* Posted by: EC ---------------------- Very funny.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 05:32 PM (4Mv1T)

325 Oh, the jailed opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim also hated the Jews, didn't like Malaysian foreign policy, and publicly accused Malaysia of being manipulated by Jews in the United States for nefarious purposes. So, even the modernizers in Malaysia appear to be paranoid jew-haters.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 05:32 PM (ZPrif)

326 Sounds like grounds for a grudge, I wonder if the pilot has been waiting for this day, anticipating such a verdict, for a long time. Innocent, plane flies on safe and sound, guilty, he fucks up Malaysia's world.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 05:32 PM (ZshNr)

327 It being the Ides of March and all...can we have a bit doom in a thread?

Posted by: Beer Ninja at March 15, 2014 05:33 PM (598AG)

328 327 *raises hand* Posted by: EC ---------------------- Very funny. Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 09:32 PM (4Mv1T) Serious as a heart attack.

Posted by: EC at March 15, 2014 05:33 PM (doBIb)

329 If it was a show trial then the outcome was probably predictable.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 05:33 PM (ZPrif)

330 A colleague of mine won $1,000,000 in one of the first drawings when the state made them legal. She wanted to keep working but simply couldn't. Because the news got around like wildfire, people wouldn't stop harassing her asking for money. Not unsurprising since the facility helped mostly the poor and economically challenged. And she wasn't wealthy either, even after a big win.

So the first thing to do would be to buy as much anonymity as possible at first. A pretty tall task in and of itself.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 15, 2014 05:34 PM (1CroS)

331 @322 I'd like a friend like that too.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:34 PM (0FSuD)

332 I'd expect an IRS and State tax agent come shipped with the payoff and you wouldn't have to look for financial planners as they'd appear out of the vacuum energy. I'd say I would give half to whomever killed the other. *pops popcorn*

Posted by: EC at March 15, 2014 05:34 PM (doBIb)

333

 Tami at March 15, 2014 09:27 PM (bCEmE)

 

Basements are the shit.   Too much rain,  failed plumbing, etc.  That is one reason I have decided to never finish mine.

Posted by: Ronster at March 15, 2014 05:35 PM (puNd6)

334 Oh and there would be one *hell* of a Moronapalooza in Vegas a few months later, travel expenses paid for the cobs and about 50-100 MIGS (Morons in Good Standing). Ace could come under an assumed identity, or wear horn-rimmed glasses as a disguise or something. http://youtu.be/ZVhA-HtngW0

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 15, 2014 05:36 PM (qyfb5)

335 PG, do you need my address?

Posted by: Peaches at March 15, 2014 05:36 PM (8lmkt)

336 So the first thing to do would be to buy as much anonymity as possible at first. A pretty tall task in and of itself. Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 15, 2014 09:34 PM (1CroS) Try dressing up as a Malaysian 777?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 15, 2014 05:36 PM (oFCZn)

337 335 @322 I'd like a friend like that too. Posted by: Nip Sip --------------------------- You might know him. Seriously.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 05:36 PM (4Mv1T)

338 To the extent that y'all are keeping Ace in your hearts, the key will be to set up a trust that pays as long as he's blogging.  A large-ish payout might incent him to take the money and run.

Posted by: Sockless Joe at March 15, 2014 05:36 PM (kaTHz)

339 How much have I spent?  I buy one ticket with the multiplier whenever it's over 100M.
First thing I would do?  Go to a lawyer and tell them to write up an agreement of some sort (limited partnership maybe) dividing the winning into 20 shares.  I keep 10 and designate ten other people for the other ten shares.  Yea, I have a big family.
First person I would tell?  Probably my dad.
First purchase?  A ticket to someplace not experiencing manbearpig's freaking global chaos.
Make a dream come true for someone?  I think it's MY turn...but I would probably get my niece's son's (yea, we're related but I'm not sure what the relationship is callled-I'm a guy, ya start with the greats and steps and whatever I get confused) hearing fixed.  My sister had bad hearing since she was little, my niece had the same problem when she was born.  I found out what Dr. the niece went to and 'talked' him into putting the poor little thing into a 'medical trial'....and she got her ears fixed for free.  I could afford to pay for it back then, now not so much...and my sis refused to let me pay for it back then thus the medical trial scam.

I'd also like an amazing car and hot and cold running servants to tend to my every need.  In reality I'd just be happy to be someplace I could go fishing and be left alone.

Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 05:37 PM (sOlwy)

340 Basements are the shit. Too much rain, failed plumbing, etc. That is one reason I have decided to never finish mine. Posted by: Ronster at March 15, 2014 09:35 PM (puNd6) I don't know why the previous owners carpeted it. Dumb.

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at March 15, 2014 05:37 PM (bCEmE)

341 Reading about Malaysian politics ... is really confusing. Parties do not break down along normal western lines.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 05:38 PM (ZPrif)

342 Tell nobody.... Buy Haiti, depopulate the place and build casinos and whore houses for rich, fat lazy Americans. Fund free vasectomies for all....with a free bag of frozen peas as a take home gift.

Posted by: IrishEd at March 15, 2014 05:38 PM (bfm04)

343 348 Tell nobody.... Buy Haiti, depopulate the place and build casinos and whore houses for rich, fat lazy Americans. Fund free vasectomies for all....with a free bag of frozen peas as a take home gift. Posted by: IrishEd at March 15, 2014 09:38 PM (bfm04) Why not just invade Cuba again and buy the place up?

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:39 PM (0FSuD)

344 Fund free vasectomies for all....with a free bag of frozen peas as a take home gift. Posted by: IrishEd ----------------------------- Pikers. I had mine at 2 PM and went back to work. I did, however, walk like Yosemite Sam for the rest of the afternoon.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 05:39 PM (4Mv1T)

345

From what I understand from people in GB (and people in GB are used to seeing the Pack around town, since it's such a small city), both Matthews and Rodgers are unfailingly pleasant and polite to fans. (Of course, if you were renting Clay for the week, you wouldn't want him to be all THAT polite ;-)

 

 Perhaps the most beloved player is Donald Driver, who really did and does involve himself in the community. The late Reggie White was also similiarly loved and admired.

 

 I have heard it's often the lesser-known players who seem to have the most massive egos and the snottiest attitudes.

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 05:41 PM (R3gO3)

346 Dack Thrombosis: "Try dressing up as a Malaysian 777?"

Maybe not that tall a task. Perhaps an American LearJet.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 15, 2014 05:41 PM (1CroS)

347 Wouldn't Detroit be cheaper? Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life ----------------------------- Dude. So would certain neighborhoods of East St Louis.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 05:41 PM (4Mv1T)

348 Activate Lex Luthor's plan: detonate an H-bomb under the San Andreas faultline and turn Nevada into beachfront property.

Posted by: EC at March 15, 2014 05:42 PM (doBIb)

349 Wouldn't Detroit be cheaper? Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at March 15, 2014 09:40 PM (OWjjx) Yeah, but the beaches and the winters suck.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:42 PM (0FSuD)

350 Screw the urban areas, I might just go buy a county in Mississippi on the cheap.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 15, 2014 05:43 PM (gBnkX)

351 I once hit 5 out of 6 on a 50 million jackpot. You would think that is a pretty good payout, but there were 16 hits on 6 out of 6, and 1600 hits on 5 out of 6. I won $600., which puts me ahead, but still kind of sucks.

Posted by: Frankly at March 15, 2014 05:43 PM (Inp7d)

352 Hello, all! If I won a lottery, I would have a car custom made with a minimum of electronics and NO vulnerability to outside interference.

Posted by: Mindy at March 15, 2014 05:43 PM (Ew9Pv)

353 If I won a lottery, I would have a car custom made with a minimum of electronics and NO vulnerability to outside interference. Posted by: Mindy --------------------------------- A 1970 anything. Me too, BTW.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 05:44 PM (4Mv1T)

354 Nip Sip: "Yeah, but the beaches and the winters suck."

Don't the springs, summers, and falls suck, too? I mean, it's contemporary Detroit. Note I'm not disagreeing here. I'm agreeing even more vehemently.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 15, 2014 05:45 PM (1CroS)

355 318 i would donate to charities that i already give to and some new ones....my dream is to buy gold bricks and throw them through random peoples windows...they'd be pissed because of the broken window but then so happy that there was a gold brick laying there... **** HAHAHAHA! Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 15, 2014 09:28 PM (DmNpO) That is hilarious. A new twist on the "Broken Window Theory".

Posted by: rickl at March 15, 2014 05:46 PM (sdi6R)

356 There are private islands, many with structures, docks etc. available for sale in the coastal waters of ME and NH. See them in the high end real estate sections once in a while. 2-6 million is a range I've seen.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 05:46 PM (ZshNr)

357

my dream is to buy gold bricks and throw them through random peoples windows...they'd be pissed because of the broken window but then so happy that there was a gold brick laying there.... Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at March 15, 2014 09:27 PM (u8GsB)

 

That's a great idea, but I'd wait until right before an election and use yard signs as a guide, so you could award the sensible and avoid giving a gold brick to some stupid moonbat - they've already got Uncle Sugar to look after them.

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 05:46 PM (R3gO3)

358 I'd get rid of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

Posted by: Samuel L. Jackson at March 15, 2014 05:46 PM (Aif/5)

359 I think I'd buy a small county... and tell everyone to Get Off My Lawn!

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 15, 2014 05:48 PM (1CroS)

360 Forbes article on the Anwar sodomy trial. buff.ly/1goRSy0 The news that Anwar Ibrahim, former deputy prime minister of Malaysia and now the leader of its opposition, has been sentenced to five years of imprisonment was profoundly disappointing but also sadly predictable. It does Malaysia no favors, in any possible respect. Anwar now faces jail for a second time, having been sentenced to 15 yearsÂ’ imprisonment in 1999 for corruption and sodomy; he served six years either in jail or police custody awaiting trial, most of it in solitary confinement, until his release in 2004 after one of the original charges was overturned. He was arrested once again on sodomy charges in 2008, and acquitted in January 2012, but the government appealed the decision, and on Friday that acquittal was overturned. Now jail awaits this 66-year-old man once again. There is so very much wrong with all of this that it is hard to know where to start.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 05:48 PM (ZPrif)

361 If a boy just woke up in a Chinese corn field, it's a repeat. If not, not.

Posted by: toby928© at March 15, 2014 08:11 PM (QupBk)

 

Um, that was a rice paddy and if he wakes up there, goes to America, and hasn't changed his clothes in 32 years and one hour, it is a repeat.

Posted by: Bill R. at March 15, 2014 05:49 PM (QnRSM)

362 I'd take a trip with my husband and visit all the morons and buy them a beer.

Posted by: Mindy at March 15, 2014 05:49 PM (Ew9Pv)

363 Yeah, Malaysian politics is the tougher cousin of Chinese arithmetic.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 05:50 PM (ZshNr)

364 I'd spend the entire $400 million on more lottery tickets.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 15, 2014 05:50 PM (P1WNR)

365 Don't the springs, summers, and falls suck, too? I mean, it's contemporary Detroit. Note I'm not disagreeing here. I'm agreeing even more vehemently. Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 15, 2014 09:45 PM (1CroS) The rest of MI is pretty nice in the summer, both weeks of it.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:50 PM (0FSuD)

366 Oh, I could rent Donald Driver for a week, no prob. Cutest grin evah! I have heard good things about Clay, and they come from a hardcore Bruin alumnus, who should hate his Trojan guts, so I'm inclined to believe them. Passerby. I believe he'd be your grand-nephew. And good on you. We carpeted our basement, because cement is colder than a well digger's ass and hard on the back, not to mention my knees. We didn't use padding, though, and it's cheap carpet.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:50 PM (Pfvig)

367 I'd take a trip with my husband and visit all the morons and buy them a beer.

Posted by: Mindy at March 15, 2014 09:49 PM (Ew9Pv)

 

Oh Mindy, do you want my address just in case?

Posted by: Ronster at March 15, 2014 05:52 PM (puNd6)

368 You know Obama sucks when that NY Slime's ginger, Dowd, has given up on him. Good times!

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:52 PM (0FSuD)

369 Mindy, I'd buy you a bell jar of Sarrasins!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:52 PM (Pfvig)

370 Isn't it possible the Malaysian plane was the victim of a massive electrical failure resulting in the pilots flying blind, at night?

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 15, 2014 05:53 PM (P1WNR)

371 "There is so very much wrong with all of this that it is hard to know where to start." I think we've found our motive for hijacking the plane.

Posted by: Oscar Wilde at March 15, 2014 05:54 PM (hFL/3)

372 /fabulous sock

Posted by: Lauren at March 15, 2014 05:55 PM (hFL/3)

373 I don't mean to sound like a racist bossy bitch, but I am surprised that any one of you are shocked that politics on a Muslim island are corrupt.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 05:55 PM (Pfvig)

374 375 It's safe to give up on him now, in term 2. I'd respect Dowd and Noknan a little bit if their eyes had opened in term 1. Now they're just trying to reassure themselves that they are in fact journalists and build cred for the Cankles run. Fcuk them.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at March 15, 2014 05:55 PM (ojnk6)

375 I can think of at least one guy I'd offer a million if he'd go fuck himself. I mean really do that. And get it on film.

Posted by: Lurking zombie Warren Zevon at March 15, 2014 05:55 PM (BLAfs)

376 I'd say I would give half to whomever killed the other.

An interesting theory, I think the spontaneously appears out of nowhere would apply even more for the tax agents.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at March 15, 2014 05:56 PM (DL2i+)

377 Which somebody else could watch.

Posted by: Lurking zombie Warren Zevon at March 15, 2014 05:56 PM (BLAfs)

378 First thing, go into hiding, get a serious lawyer, change my identity, for most purposes drop off the face of the earth.

After that, who cares. Do what I want. Read and blog. Most likely in Texas.

And yeah, I'd drop some money on family and very dearest friends.

For vanity, I'd get me a race car for 1/4 strips that goes under 8 seconds. Most likely have it put together from an Acura or a Supra. That's slightly more fun than getting one that's already done. Either way....

Posted by: Dolly Madison at March 15, 2014 05:57 PM (Em374)

379 vintage maserati, because i need a fast car.

Posted by: concrete girl at March 15, 2014 05:57 PM (iJwLj)

380 386 vintage maserati, because i need a fast car. 185?

Posted by: EC at March 15, 2014 05:58 PM (doBIb)

381 Passerby. I believe he'd be your grand-nephew.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor

Thanks, I get confused with all that.  And he's an 11 year old redhead and I wouldn't DARE call him grand anything.  I'd never hear the end of the 'call me grand-nephew Sebastian' from now on.  He's such a trip!

Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 05:59 PM (sOlwy)

382 I don't think anybody is surprised Malaysia is corrupt. It's just interesting to try and figure out exactly what the captain felt he was fighting for in his political activism. I'm still not sure.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 05:59 PM (ZPrif)

383 For vanity, I'd get me a race car for 1/4 strips that goes under 8 seconds. Most likely have it put together from an Acura or a Supra. That's slightly more fun than getting one that's already done. Either way.... I always wanted an Acura NSX, but I am too tall. It's for fucking midgets. Only production race car. It was sweet. http://tinyurl.com/3cz5rmk

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 05:59 PM (0FSuD)

384 i'd also enjoy saying no to anyone asking for money....

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at March 15, 2014 05:59 PM (u8GsB)

385 I'd get a set of LeCrueset cookware. That would take care of most of the money.

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 05:59 PM (R3gO3)

386 I'd buy billboards from coast to coast and mock the ever loving shit out of the Left. Within a year after I won, they'd be trying to outlaw billboards.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 06:00 PM (ZshNr)

387 "392 I'd get a set of LeCrueset cookware. That would take care of most of the money." Ha. Pretty much!

Posted by: Lauren at March 15, 2014 06:01 PM (hFL/3)

388 Nobody seems shocked.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 06:01 PM (ZshNr)

389 I, actually have all the money I need,  to do anything I want to.  I have very simple tastes.  Very simple.

Posted by: Ronster at March 15, 2014 06:01 PM (puNd6)

390 Tell no one for as long as possible. Pay off all debts. Make my children secure. Help my family. Charitable donations. Buy heliocopter and learn how to fly it. Build and fortify easily-defended compound/home in Appalachian mountains with terraced gardens, fresh water source, stables, and helo-pad friendly site. Go to Aruba. Always wanted to go to Aruba.

Posted by: Gem at March 15, 2014 06:02 PM (zw+pb)

391 Speaking of a bell jar of Sarrasins. I would totally buy bell jars of Sarrasins, de Profundis, Fille de Berlin, Sa Majeste la Rose and Bas de SOie, just for the colors. Plus the uber-fancy bell jars of Sarrasins, de Profundis and Vierge de Fer.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 06:02 PM (Pfvig)

392 Go to Aruba. Always wanted to go to Aruba. It sucked.

Posted by: Natalie Holloway at March 15, 2014 06:03 PM (doBIb)

393

391 i'd also enjoy saying no to anyone asking for money.... Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at March 15, 2014 09:59 PM (u8GsB)

 

"I hate to ask you really I do...this is so difficult for me...but I've lost my job and I am living in a refrigator box in the park with my7 kids...two are crippled and one has leprosy. We dumpster dive for our meals..."

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 06:04 PM (R3gO3)

394 The first thing the winner needs to buy is a good book on statistics because by buying the lottery ticket in the first place you demonstrated a poor understanding of math.

Posted by: Anchovy at March 15, 2014 08:41 PM (MNxW+)


No, not really. Buying ONE ticket on the big lottery is simply paying rent on a dream for few days. It's cheap entertainment. Buying hundreds of the damn things, or worse, playing those video lottery terminals like they have here in Alberta; well, Hell, buddy, you have become a volunteer taxpayer.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 15, 2014 06:04 PM (fP0Xf)

395 Goto the pound and BUY ALL THE PUPPEHs

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at March 15, 2014 06:04 PM (DL2i+)

396 Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 09:59 PM (sOlwy) I was an eleven year old redhead myself once upon a time, and you are wise to be cautious!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 06:04 PM (Pfvig)

397 "I hate to ask you really I do...this is so difficult for me...but I've lost my job and I am living in a refrigator box in the park with my7 kids...two are crippled and one has leprosy. We dumpster dive for our meals..." Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 10:04 PM (R3gO3) no!

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at March 15, 2014 06:04 PM (u8GsB)

398 392 I'd get a set of LeCrueset cookware. That would take care of most of the money. Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 09:59 PM (R3gO3) I've already bought a bunch of All-Clad in the past few years, so I have no need to upgrade.

Posted by: rickl at March 15, 2014 06:05 PM (sdi6R)

399 I wonder how old Vander Sloot is holding up in prison. No I don't.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 06:05 PM (ZshNr)

400 185? only on a very, very long road i'm already familar with...life's been good.

Posted by: concrete girl at March 15, 2014 06:05 PM (iJwLj)

401

"Sarrasins"

 

What is that? Perfume? Fancy Chocolate? Cheese? Something I don't know about but will lust after madly once I do know about it?

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 06:06 PM (R3gO3)

402 Mmmmm. chocolate cheese....mmmm...

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 15, 2014 06:07 PM (ZshNr)

403 I would buy a movie studio and force them to make decent movies again.

But really, it's way too much trouble for me to win that much money.

Posted by: pj at March 15, 2014 06:07 PM (ZWaLo)

404 Wikipedia Fact of the Day (Sodomy Edition): Physical damage to the rectum and anus can manifest as generalized ano-rectal trauma, anal fissures, rectal prolapse, and exacerbating hemorrhoids Adequate lubrication and preparation reduces the risk of physical trauma, while the risk increases with use of alcohol or other drugs that dull sensitivity. Loss of bowel control is not a likely result of anal sex, but may be caused by repeated injury or the insertion of large objects. Kegel exercises have been recommended to maintain muscle tone by a speaker at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality and the American Association of Sex Educators, who noted he had never personally observed "loosening" in any of his patients.

Posted by: Sexologist at March 15, 2014 06:07 PM (XyM/Y)

405 Oh. En. Tee.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 15, 2014 06:08 PM (4Mv1T)

406 I will help those that have a propensity to help themselves. Screw the losers.

Posted by: Ronster at March 15, 2014 06:08 PM (puNd6)

407 Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 15, 2014 09:59 PM (ZPrif) It is interesting, for sure. I tend to take anything coming from a Muslim govt with a grain of salt. They'll be blaming it on Da Joos purty quick if nothing turns up. Love that China is so quiet. Interesting indeed.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 06:08 PM (Pfvig)

408 O/T The NY Slime, were elitism is in fashion. Here is a story about $50K boarding schools that folks making "only" $300K a year can get financial aid. I am not making this shit up. Might be fire walled. http://tinyurl.com/ogfbemm

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 15, 2014 06:09 PM (0FSuD)

409 phoenixgirl: "i'd also enjoy saying no to anyone asking for money..."

Please give me three minutes of your time so that you can see some film...
...of a great ugliness that is spreading in my country.

You will not believe what you are about to see...
...that human beings could have sunk so low...
...that they can take pleasure to do this to another of God's creatures.

I hope you have a strong stomach, senorita.

Posted by: Father Carlos Las Vegas De Cordoba at March 15, 2014 06:09 PM (1CroS)

410 upstairs everybody, ont

Posted by: concrete girl at March 15, 2014 06:09 PM (iJwLj)

411 Donna, it's perfume. A big ol' jasmine bomb, but brighter overall than Joy, which is an indolic jasmine. I think Sarrasins must have mostly jasmine sambac. Or else I'm totally anosmic to the indoles in it.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 06:10 PM (Pfvig)

412

rickl, inspired by a AOS cooking thread, I ordered a Lodge enameled Dutch oven. Since I had Amazon points, it cost me about $20. I got it on Friday and can't wait to use it although it's so damn heavy, it's an upper body workout just getting it out of the box.

 

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at March 15, 2014 10:04 PM (u8GsB)

 

Now I bet that felt just great!

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 06:11 PM (R3gO3)

413 I would purchase my own lake up on the Gunflint Trail in MN and build a killer lodge.  Buy a nice truck and get another 10 dogs.  Most importantly I would want to be left alone. Oh, I would by my own airplane too.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at March 15, 2014 06:11 PM (jucos)

414 1. $1 2. Tuck the ticket into my wallet 3. Mah hubby. After a week or two, his parents and his sister (the only family I trust) and our kids, although I would not tell them how much we had won. 4. A brand new black Toyota Sienna with all the bells and whistles. Then a nice ranch in central Texas, a cabin on a lake in Wisconsin, and a cabin in the Cascades in Washington. 5. I would fund crisis pregnancy centers, nature camps for inner city kids, mental health for veterans, and improving the quality of life for foster kids. As well as a shit-ton of money for my church.

Posted by: Republic of Texas 2: Electric Boogaloo at March 15, 2014 06:13 PM (Gk2GE)

415 Tammy, I'm a Chanel No. 5 girl. Have been for 25 years. I've tried other perfumes but I dunno, they seem to smell like wet toliet paper on me. Chanel No. 5 somehow just goes really well with my body chemistry.

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 06:13 PM (R3gO3)

416 I have recently discovered the extrait of No. 5, and I adored it. Don't care for the other concentrations; they smell kind of chemical-ish to me, which is the aldehydes, I suppose. The extrait may help me appreciate it more, though. It is a classic and I like it on other folks, just not my thing. I like my juice much dirtier!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 06:17 PM (Pfvig)

417 FIrst thing I'd do. Change my pants! Sign the ticket, put it in a safe deposit box.

first people I'd tell: Acountant, tax attorney, lawyer.

Next on the to do list: Hire someone to erase every trace of my identity online;  get an answering service and have mail forwarded to the attorney, and call everyone I know, starting with blood relatives and working down the list of friends, and say I have 30 days to move out and I need a place to stay and $5,000 immediately. That will separate the wheat from the chaff.

First thing I'd buy:  Condo/house in a private beachfront community in Florida.
Second thing I'd buy: Manhattan Pied a terre.

Second person I"d tell: I'd tell my brother he can retire.   Whew, all that tires a girl out.

Posted by: vivi at March 15, 2014 06:17 PM (+/8mE)

418 I was an eleven year old redhead myself once upon a time, and you are wise to be cautious!
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor

Oh my.  I've been lurking here for eons and never knew you were a redhead.  Damn, I've got a weak spot for redheads but I've yet to find one that I could 'tame'.....not that there's anything wrong with that.  One day I'll find some sweet Irish lass and all will be right with the world. Or not (I'm thinking not).

Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 06:18 PM (sOlwy)

419

I am extremely left-handed. The only thing I do right-handed is throw a ball. When I was a kid, I thought it would be great to have a house where everything was customized for southpaws. Everything - all the doors, the kitchen cabinets, the microwave - would be in reverse. I imagined inviting right-handed people over and watching them fumble around in a left-handed environment.

 

Of course, I'd probably fumble just as much, since it would be just as much of a change for me as it would be for everyone else. Still.

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 06:20 PM (R3gO3)

420 424 call everyone I know, starting with blood relatives and working down the list of friends, and say I have 30 days to move out and I need a place to stay and $5,000 immediately. That will separate the wheat from the chaff. Posted by: vivi at March 15, 2014 10:17 PM (+/8mE) That is a brilliant idea.

Posted by: rickl at March 15, 2014 06:24 PM (sdi6R)

421 Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 10:18 PM (sOlwy) Yea good luck with that whole taming thing. I can be made to purr, but taming is out of the question, I fear. And it'll be right, alright, but never dull!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 06:25 PM (Pfvig)

422 Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand)

I like that idea.  I had some left-handed steak knives (lost them in a move) and I relished the idea of putting them out for people when they came for dinner.  Everyone had trouble but me.  I only told one person about them and she thought I was mean for doing that.  I asked what she thought when other people did that to me.......that's just normal silverware and I should adjust.  Think I might try to find some new ones.

Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 06:26 PM (sOlwy)

423 Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 10:20 PM (R3gO3) You know, you're probably right. Thor's left handed and is remarkably ambidextrous, but I bet if he was in an all lefty environment, he'd have to readjust.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 06:28 PM (Pfvig)

424 Posted by: vivi at March 15, 2014 10:17 PM (+/8mE) That is a brilliant idea. Posted by: rickl at March 15, 2014 10:24 PM (sdi6R) Wow, it really is. A person ought to do it, or a variation thereof, every now and then, just on General Principal.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 06:30 PM (Pfvig)

425 Hi Rickl,
Thx. I can pretty much predict how it will go,too....

Posted by: vivi at March 15, 2014 06:31 PM (+/8mE)

426 I would scan the ticket, then hide it. I would tell my husband, then my accountant. I would buy my dream house in the city, set up a trust for my mom, fund private schools and college for the munchkins, then look for property out in the middle of nowhere to start my disaster-prep hiding place.

Posted by: Rarity at March 15, 2014 06:31 PM (F+KiF)

427 Posted by: Tammy al-Thor

You're right. Who the hell wants to try to tame a redhead??  Take the fire away and ya might as well just go for a 'generic'!  Purring.........that's before the claws come out.  Ah, I remember it well (and still have the scars to show for it).  I'm gonna find me another firebrand one day.  Never a dull moment, and nothing finer than a strong-willed lady.

Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 06:32 PM (sOlwy)

428 vivi, that entire post is brilliant. You've given this some thought, I see :-)

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 06:32 PM (R3gO3)

429 OMG. I just got a call from my landlord and I have to move out in 30 days!!!!

Posted by: vivi at March 15, 2014 06:32 PM (+/8mE)

430 Yeah, Lex Luthor, by way of Mario Puzo, hadn't heard of this new development called plate tectonics.

Yes, the 1978 Superman movie was primarily written by the same guy who wrote The Godfather. Seems he was a bit of a comics geek. In the novelization, also by Puzo, there is a scene where the Guardians on Oa notice the ship carrying Kal El to Earth and agree they'll need to keep an eye on how that develops.

Posted by: Epobirs at March 15, 2014 06:34 PM (bPxS6)

431 If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Move the fuck OUT of California. Immediately.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at March 15, 2014 06:35 PM (AQTz3)

432 WTF?

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 15, 2014 06:35 PM (Q8vlx)

433

Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 10:26 PM (sOlwy)

 

Damn. Now I really want left-handed steak knives. I didn't know they existed.  I'm just afraid somebody will cut an artery or something :-)

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 06:36 PM (R3gO3)

434 Hey, vivi, you can come sleep on my sofa. No problem, really!

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 06:37 PM (R3gO3)

435 Haha. Big lottery payouts are such a fun way to daydream.  I think I'd also say I lost my drivers' license and get a new one with a photo of me with a blond pixie wig and glasses (I'm a long haired brunette) and a fat suit for the inevitable photo opp. And I'd time the reveal for the day before thankgiving. Heh.

Posted by: vivi at March 15, 2014 06:38 PM (+/8mE)

436 Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 10:36 PM (R3gO3)

The ones I had I bought on Thames Street in Newport RI at some little shop.  They were nice quality (were sharp and stayed that way).  Ya know they have to be around...Ned Flander's had a Leftorium shop for a long time in some mall in Springfield and he even sold them!

Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 06:44 PM (sOlwy)

437 Since three people can only keep a secret if two of them die young, I would tell my attorney and accountant. Then I'd pay my bills, pay off my house and buy a Mazzerati. Then I would take a month long vacation in Bora Bora at the Four Seasons. But the best part would be secretly paying off people's debts...

Posted by: Juniper at March 15, 2014 06:52 PM (AlLqs)

438 There was a time when I would have said I'd hold out for the full amount but I was much younger then and didn't think anything short of WWIII would eliminate the government to such an extent that the payout would stop and the money already received would be worthless.

Now I'm not so sure.

I wouldn't do much but I'd give me sister and mother an assignment to find a house in the area that met their desires. My mother wants to not climb stairs anymore and my sister wants a yard big enough to set up an agility course for her and her friends' dogs. I'd be staying in this area because they have social lives I wouldn't want to disrupt. Any place they're likely to choose would probably suit me as well. I wouldn't go full prepper but I'd spend a considerable sum to make the place livable through a lengthy disruption of services.

My mother would like to travel but is limited by the weight of 85 years, so I guess I'd charter a tour bus with all the amenities, so it would be like a mobile hotel room. I or one of my siblings would travel with her. Maybe also take some of the nephews and nieces if they're free.

Beyond that I would scheme, working out creative ways to apply whatever I consider excess wealth. Perform philanthropy in a way that messes with the heads of those I don't like. A charity run from within a volcano lair.


Posted by: Epobirs at March 15, 2014 06:53 PM (bPxS6)

439 ...so I guess I'd charter a tour bus with all the amenities,... Now that's an idea. Buy a bus and turn it into a motorhome and drive it around. I always liked the looks of the 1989 MCI 102A3 coaches...

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at March 15, 2014 06:56 PM (AQTz3)

440 Hm. A car and driver. A nice idea. And a month or so at the Canyon Ranch in Miami beach!

Posted by: vivi at March 15, 2014 07:00 PM (+/8mE)

441
206 Did you ever notice that Mitch McConnell Almost all senatorslooks like he has wandered away from the home and needs someone to take him back?
Posted by: WalrusRex at March 15, 2014 08:48 PM (/0Xze)

**********

It's too bad more of them aren't found until the spring, after the snow finally melts.




Posted by: Zippy at March 15, 2014 07:01 PM (HFSaY)

442 Ooooh, a month at Post Ranch Inn at Big Sur. I was supposed to get a weekend there when I turned 50, but someone had to go and move us across the country for new job.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at March 15, 2014 07:02 PM (Pfvig)

443 If you are in one of the states that participates, are you playing? Yes. How much have you spent? $100. I'm terrible at math, and deserve to pay more taxes. If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Destroy mine enemies. The first person you would tell? My Dad. Who would help me destroy mine enemies. The first purchase you would make? Judges. What dream would you make come true? The beginning of a revolution.

Posted by: Adrian at March 15, 2014 07:04 PM (T7tZo)

444 McConnell doesn't look like he belongs in a home. He looks like an elderly Cabbage Patch doll.

Posted by: Adrian at March 15, 2014 07:05 PM (T7tZo)

445 Yo, Adrian, that's some big picture thinking right there. You have a newsletter?

Posted by: vivi at March 15, 2014 07:05 PM (+/8mE)

446 did I win?

Posted by: AltonJackson at March 15, 2014 07:08 PM (JMmQ9)

447 He looks like an elderly Cabbage Patch doll. Dwayne Stovall says he looks like a turtle (Cecil the turtle from the Merrie Melodies cartoons of long ago)...

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at March 15, 2014 07:09 PM (AQTz3)

448 I won $4 on Powerball.

I had a 5 and the red ball 9. Probably going to quit while I'm ahead.


Posted by: CozMark at March 15, 2014 07:20 PM (P0AbR)

449 never play lotto, BUT...
if i won some money i'd
call brother [he's an accountant!]
call investment guy
give most to son and daughter
get the HELL OUT of Alabama...

in that order, more or less...

Posted by: Geezer der Mensch at March 15, 2014 08:15 PM (6aFlV)

450 I had $400 million, but then I got high.

Posted by: Afro Man at March 15, 2014 08:45 PM (q/PkG)

451

Interesting, isn't it? Many people on this thread have stated what they would do for their parents, siblings or community if they suddenly came into great wealth.

 

Yet the left assumes that all people with money want to do is spend it on themselves. Because they're selfish pigs, they assume everyone is. They wouldn't use the money for good, so they think nobody does.

Posted by: Donna and V. (no ampersand) at March 15, 2014 09:34 PM (R3gO3)

452 2 bucks.
Buy my mother a house. Set up a non-profit for Vets.
Tell the family...
And my "dream"? A short bucket list of do's. Get a drum lesson from Phil Collins, design some dishes for Villeroy &Boch. I used to want to go to the Tour de France or Wimbledon but...meh. Not so much anymore.

Go Blue! Beat the Spartans!!!

Posted by: DefendUSA at March 16, 2014 04:03 AM (nAHMK)

453 I would buy the entire year's production of Kaboom, just to keep it away from Ace.

Posted by: Mooch at March 16, 2014 04:40 AM (B+ujR)

454 I have several friends whose lives could be made MUCH better by just buying them new, or new/used, cars. I have already won the lottery, twice. First, when I met my husband, second, when he got Luke's heart for his transplant. But if I won a third time, I'd do the $10,000 to a whole lot of people, and be VERY quiet about it. Or maybe do like Hillary and Zero do - give a lot of hobos money to donate to the Tea Partiest Tea Party candidates, and watch liberals heads explode.

Posted by: MathMom at March 16, 2014 05:16 AM (p68km)

455 You know those trophy hunt ranches in Texas? I'd open one here, only it would be hobos. I'd cruise the off-ramps looking for able bodied hobos holding "will work for food" signs and ask them if they'd like to make some real money. No homo. Non-lethal hunts only. I'm not a monster.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at March 16, 2014 05:18 AM (Yx4EH)

456 Posted by: Passerby at March 15, 2014 10:18 PM (sOlwy) There's no taming redheads. Every time I think I've got my wife figured out she does something to out crazy her last adventure.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at March 16, 2014 05:23 AM (Yx4EH)

457 1) 5 grand each for the 19 guys I work with every day. They're good people. 2) Pay off my/our bills. 3) Fund the grandkids' college educations. 4) FANTASY GOAL: buy back the house my grandpa built 80 years ago in upstate New York. Quit work. Move into house. Become the local recluse.

Posted by: antisocialist at March 16, 2014 05:27 AM (eGr8Z)

458 If you are in one of the states that participates, are you playing? How much have you spent? $5. Always quick pick If you win, what is the first thing you would do? Sign and scan that sucka. The first person you would tell? Sweet Honey. The first purchase you would make? Pay off sister's college loan (Yikes) What dream would you make come true? I think I could go into the dream-come-true-making business. Wouldn't that be the most satisfying?

Posted by: Aunt Ralph at March 16, 2014 05:46 AM (6eRn0)

459 Although I do like the sound of that sweet midget money !

Posted by: Aunt Ralph at March 16, 2014 05:47 AM (6eRn0)

460 I would tell my wife: "pack your clothes honey I won the lottery". Her response would be, "should I pack for summer or winter?" I would then say " I don't care, just pack your clothes and get the hell out!"**

**Lifted from the stolen joke network.

I would give 80% of it away, one gentleman's club at a time. Make it Rain...

Posted by: JB at March 16, 2014 06:23 AM (K/J3u)

461 323 No.  They withhold 25% Federal Taxes, but most of the money is going to be subject to the 39.6% top marginal rate.  This basically guarantees that you'll owe money unless you perform some really fancy tax trickery.

1. Smile

2. My best friend from HS

3. Car

4. Fund program to grow/print replacement organs so people can get new organs that they do not have to take anti-rejection drugs for

Posted by: Dave in St. Louis at March 16, 2014 08:55 AM (lG61b)

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