Now that I've depressed everyone, let me link this bit from KerrySpot showing that Bush leads in all tracking polls released this morning.

Ace, I like you, but I don't like-like you.
I'm sorry, but all I can offer you is a purely
physical relationship.

* If anyone knows what movie this is from, I swear, I will literally plotz.

Literally.

And I don't know what plotz means exactly, so it's going to be tricky.

Posted by: Ace at 08:19 AM | Comments (18)
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But President is above crucial 50% mark in only a single poll

I don't know how much that last tid-bit matters. You don't really need to be above 50%; you need to be above around 49%.

The Washington Times digests the final polls.

I'm going to say it right now: I'm worried. Very worried. I think that Bush is actually a little behind at the moment, and I think he's going to have to have an awfully good day to win this thing.

Not to be a defeatist-- hey, it's Voting Day. Not much left to do (except vote, of course-- have you voted?) But I've got to be honest-- I've been quietly predicting a Bush loss for a week.

(Well, as those who routinely call me a big fat defeatist wussy might argue, I've been predicting that via subtext for a month.)

Bush needs almost all his potential voters to actually pull the lever for him. If the Patriotic Majority does so, he will win. If a lot of his voters decide, as they did in 2000, that maybe voting isn't so important, he'll almost certainly lose.

Posted by: Ace at 08:08 AM | Comments (3)
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Celebrities leaving us should Bush be re-elected! Oh no!

There must be a downside to all this.

Thanks to Llama Butchers, who's also liveblogging the election, and seems to be off to a much better start than me.

Posted by: Ace at 07:26 AM | Comments (5)
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I don't know about you, but I can't believe it's finally here. Whether we win or lose (let's win, though, right?), I'm just sooo happy it's going to be over.

As a blogger, I should want it to continue. But as a human being, I can't take it any more.

Kathryn Jean Lopez was saying (at that event I attended) that all the political consultants and hacks she talks to say that-- they just can't take it; they need it to be over. I imagine most of you feel the same way. Except for a few sickies.

Incidentally, I'll be live-blogging the election tonight, which I guess just means I'll be posting a lot.

Posted by: Ace at 07:18 AM | Comments (6)
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But then, with the Red Sox sweeping the World Series, this may be the year of making history.

Sabato comes up with a final EV tally of 269-269-- a tie, and an election ultimately to be settled in the House of Representatives. But he seems to think Bush will be lucky to manage that.

On the other hand, if Bush holds Ohio and Florida, he says it won't even be close.

Posted by: Ace at 12:08 AM | Comments (14)
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Well, there's gonna be a LOT of information out there today. If you've got a good tip-- anything from a report you heard on the radio to crowded conditions at a polling place -- you can post it here, rather than emaling me.

Well, you can email me too, but if you post it here, people can read it right away. I'll move the best ones into posts, so people see them.

Posted by: Ace at 12:02 AM | Comments (15)
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If you want to register your vote, do so here. You might want to note if your polling place is especially crowded or such, too.

Posted by: Ace at 12:00 AM | Comments (49)
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Hmmm... using candy to lure children into graphic discussions of sex? Why didn't I think of that?

Oh yeah-- because the last time I tried they locked me up on trumped-up morals charge.

Dawn Eden, Petite Powerhouse, finds Planned Parenthood putting their filthy chocolate in the pliant peanut butter of innocent young minds, by using M&M's as an excuse for dirty-talk with children:

Code:

* Plain Brown = Health (either treatment or abstinence)
* Plain Blue = Condoms or Dental Dams
* Plain Green = Trichomoniasis
* Plain Yellow = Gonorrhea
* Plain Red = Chlamydia
* Plain Orange = Syphilis
* Peanut Green = HIV
* Peanut Red = Hepatitis B
* Peanut Orange = Herpes
* Peanut Yellow = HPV

Oy gevalt. I don't know if I'm bothered more by the sexualization of children or by the fact that apparently there are diagnosable retards able to get paying jobs in writing whereas I'm still working the counter at Kinko's.

I especially liked this bit of cleverness:

(Note that bacterial infections are represented by plain M&Ms and viral infections are represented by peanut M&Ms.)

Very witty. And note that hydroencephalitis is represented by Smarties, and malignant goiters by Zero bars.

Posted by: Ace at 11:56 PM | Comments (4)
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Reader-submitted issue guidance to help you make your choice tomorrow, plus a couple I thought of my own self. In some most cases, I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist the urge to edit/tweak.

Don't hate me.

STAR TREK CAPTAIN

BUSH: Come on, easy-- The Captain. The only captain.
KERRY: Either Jean Luc or Janeway, or maybe that black dude that used to play Hawk on Spencer: For Hire. He just can't make up his mind. Take a poll and decide if we need to kiss up to women or blacks or the French this week. (by Nick Kronos)

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER MOVIE

BUSH: Commando
KERRY: Junior (by Nick Kronos)

AUTOMOBILE

BUSH: '77 primer-gray Silverado Dooley, naked-lady mud flaps
KERRY: Pea-green Volvo station wagon, "This Car Climbed Mt. Washington!" and "I Brake for Snail-Darters" bumper stickers. (by See-Dubya)

MILITARY HERO

BUSH: George Patton, Douglas MacArthur, Stonewall Jackson
KERRY: "Hawkeye" Pearce, "Jenjis Khan," that snivelling little pussy writer from Saving Private Ryan (Nick Kronos)

REFRESHING BEVERAGE WHOSE NAME CONTAINS AN HONORIFIC

BUSH: Dr. Pepper
KERRY: Mr. Pibb's (by See-Dubya)

STAR TREK VILLAIN

BUSH: Khaaaaan!!!
KERRY: Those dipshits on that hippie world where everyone gets stoned off the pollen of the alien plants and sits around singing Scarsboro Fair and going to "snuggle parties"

60's TV CHICKS

BUSH: Catwoman, Ginger, Maryanne, Agent 99, Marcia
KERRY: That Girl, Mrs. "Lovey" Howell, Jan (by Nick Kronos)

FAVORITE MOVIE MOMENT

BUSH: Sonny Corleone beating the shit out of Carlos with the trash-can lid
KERRY: When Meg Ryan shows up at the end of Sleepless in Seattle (suggested by Nick Kronos)

ANDROID

BUSH: Terminator Model T-800 Series 101 (also Robocop)
KERRY: Human protocol droid C-3PO (also "Johnny-5" from Short Circuit) (by Stumbo)

COMIC STRIP CHARACTER

BUSH: Steve Dallas (Bloom County); Linus (Peanuts); Hobbes (Calvin & Hobbes)
KERRY: Billy in Family Circus running one of his ridiculously torturous trails to get from point A to a very nearby point B; Mary Worth; Cathy; Dondi (by Lord Floppington)

DEFINING SCI-FI/HORROR MOVIE QUOTE

BUSH: "I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all outa bubblegum."
KERRY: "I don't know if you've been paying attention, man, but we just got our asses kicked! Game over, man! Game over!" (by Krakatoa)

CAUSE TO SMILE AFTER HEARING WORD "NANTUCKET"

BUSH: reminds him of dirty limerick about Nantucket
KERRY: reminds him his wife owns Nantucket (by Stumbo)

KEY QUOTE FROM "THE ROAD WARRIOR"

BUSH: I'm the best chance you've got.
KERRY: I'll talk to this Humungous fellow! He's a reasonable man! Open to negotiation! (by bbeck with latter quote contributed by small car guy)*

CHARACTER FROM GIANT-MONSTER JAPANESE CINEMA

BUSH: Godzilla
KERRY: Those two tiny twin women who live in box and sing songs to Mothra (also: Godzooky)

HAIR METAL SONG EXPRESSING KEY THEME OF CAMPAIGN

BUSH: "unilateralism" -- Whitesnake's Here I Go Again (On My Own)
KERRY: "nuance" -- Warrant's Every Rose Has Its Thorn

* I had to change this one. SmallCarGuy sent me a similar one using one of my favorite lines from the Road Warrior, and definitely John Kerry's true definining RW quote.

Posted by: Ace at 11:11 PM | Comments (9)
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Instapundit turns on Sullivan-- hard.

And this article about "moulting hawks" is pretty good. Sure would have liked to have been linked by Instapundit when I wrote my own essay on one-time hawks who were apparently suprised to learn that people die in war.

And of course Mickey Kaus calls the Hysterical Hack "excitable," which I've been doing for some time.

You just know Sullivan wants to call Kaus a gay-baiter for calling him that. The problem is, Sullivan really is hystrionic, hysterical, and hyperbolic. We can't pretend he's not just because that's some sort of gay cliche and it would be homophobic to point it out.

Thanks to Jpok for the tip.

Update: Thanks for the link, Instapundit!

I guess I should probably stop complaining about him not linking me if he's so gracious as to actually read the site on occasion.

On the other hand, complaining seems to be working.

Posted by: Ace at 06:10 PM | Comments (11)
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