The Roll of Honor continues burnishing its image: France, Russia, China, Syria.

What good company our "ally" France keeps.

Johnny Coldcuts Looks Into the Fuckin' Future: "Expect John Kerry to make a powerful denunciation of French duplicity this week! You can bet your dirty ass on it, fucker!"

[Johnny Coldcuts pic taken down, since I was using someone else's bandwidth]
Wanna get rich, fuckface? Five fuckin' words: Red Sox World Series Sweep! Eh, go ahead and fuckin' ignore me, ya dirty shitmongers.

CONTENT WARNING! Photo Credit: Lifted from Enjoy Every Sandwich. Since I first posted this link, EES has posted a pic of that dopey Norwegian couple having sex at some left-wing rock concert. It's a picture of two people having sex, with boobies and everything. So, at the moment, EES is not work-safe.

Sorry if anyone clicked on this after that post but before I posted the warning. But I just found out myself.

Posted by: Ace at 09:59 PM | Comments (14)
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The inquiry conducted by Lord Hutton regarding the British Government's use of WMD intelligence in making the case for war is about to conclude that indeed, the British Government did have clear and convincing evidence that Saddam Hussein was trying to buy uranium from Niger.

Just. Like. Bush. Said. In. That. State. Of. The. Union.

Right now, my sources* inform me that the mainstream media is about to report this nonstop for three weeks, just the way they reported (falsely) that Bush lied in stating these facts.

My sources* further tell me to be ready for the 24/7 full-court media press on this, and as we speak Campbell Brown is preparing to ask John Kerry all sorts of tough questions about his previous claims that Bush "misled" us into war.

Chris Matthews, in particular, will use his show for nothing but hour-long mea culpas for a month.

Get ready for the whirlwind of coverage!

* My "sources" consist of:

1) "Smitty," a 77-year-old shut-in suffering from chronic schizophrenic dementia, and

2) his best friend, a foul-mouthed, time-travelling bologna sandwich named "Johnny Coldcuts," who speaks to him in nonstop vulgarities and enigmatic riddles about the future.

Posted by: Ace at 09:43 PM | Comments (3)
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The diminuitive dean claimed victory upon one month's reading on one economic indicator. (And even that indicator showed growth, just not boom-level growth.)

But the economy is more than one month's jobs figure:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The U.S. housing market flexed its muscle last week and shoppers opened their wallets heading into the July 4th weekend, reports showed on Wednesday, tempering concerns about slowing economic growth.

New applications for mortgages jumped in the week ended July 2 on a sharp decline in mortgage rates, pushing up by 19.5 percent the Mortgage Bankers Association's market index, a seasonally adjusted measure of mortgage activity, to 687, its highest level in nearly two months.

Ahem. Aren't Krugman and Kerry forever predicting a skyrocketing in such rates?

The Washington trade group's purchase index, a gauge of new loan requests for home purchases, rose last week by 15 percent to 500.9 -- the index's second highest level ever.

Second highest level ever? Interesting. Apparently the bar set by Kerry and Krugman for economic strength is achieving the highest levels ever in all categories.

I think less, err, interested parties would say that the best economic expansion in 20 years and the second-best new home purchases in history constitute a strong economy.

...

Meanwhile, chain store sales recovered somewhat in the final fiscal week of June. Sales nudged up 0.9 percent in the week ended July 3, up from the 1.2 percent decrease in the previous week, the International Council of Shopping Centers and UBS said in a joint report. Compared with the same week a year ago, sales increased 4.4 percent, slightly up from the 4.2 percent growth pace of the preceding week.

I don't know. We have strong to boom-level expansions in business purchasing, home buying, consumer sales, and even a 20-year-high in our nation's perennial soft-spot, industrial production. We're averaging 256,000 jobs per month over the past four months. The unemployment rate is at 5.6% (and going down), currently tied at the level before the 1996 election, when it was praised as a spectacularly low unemployment rate.

But oh, right-- the jobs creation numbers for one single month failed to match economists' forecasts. So we're in, like, a depression or something, I guess.

Modest cowbell for home-purchasing and consumer spending news because, quite frankly, who really gives a crap? It's like getting socks for your birthday. Yeah, nice, yeah, useful, but... it's not exactly the giant-sized Optimus Prime with the flashing LED eye-lasers that you wanted.

Posted by: Ace at 09:32 PM | Comments (3)
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Via Lucianne, an interesting but too-conclusory analysis of who our allies actually are.

You may be surprised to find that on our seven major foreign policy goals, China and Russia are actually closer allies than the purported "allies" John Kerry spends so much time worrying his cashew-shaped head over, Germany and France.

Then again, you may not be so surprised.

As I said, the article is terse nearly to the point of fault. It asserts that Russia and China are closer to us on our major goals than France and Germany without offering some bullet-point style evidence of this. I actually think the author is right, but I'd have liked a little more flesh on the bones.

Still, something to think about the next time John Kerry insists that we must do everything "our allies" wish us to do.

Posted by: Ace at 09:22 PM | Comments (1)
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I don't know if I should be linking this.

But it's out there now, so my not-linking it ain't gonna consign it to oblivion.

Brutish gay-enforcer Michelangelo Signorile -- who of course yammered on forever about Clinton's purported right to play "Human Humidor " without judicial interference -- decides that a Democratic Senator has had sexual privacy for too long:

Mikulski's position on same-sex marriage isn't the only thing in her closet: The sexual orientation of the forever-unmarried 67-year-old has been an open secret for many years. But Mikulski has apparently always worried about what her working-class Democratic base in Maryland might think of her sexual orientation, making her irrationally petrified of ever discussing it (except to make heterosexual allusions).

These fears have made Mikulski less than a champion of gay rights, perhaps lest anyone think she might be gay herself.

What could provoke such an outing? Why, the fact that she isn't opposing the Federal Marriage Amendment with quite the level of zeal that Signoreli would like.

After calling her a "lesbian" in a public scolding, Mikey delights:

The exchange got some media coverage, and it likely traumatized Mikulski in a similar but opposite way that Linda Chavez had traumatized her: Her voting record on gay rights miraculously improved. (It's sad that it takes such actions and inducement of fear to motivate such individuals, but again, that's how denial works.)

Eh. It might work to threaten to out gays unless they vote the way conservatives like. Not sure if you'd be in favor of that.

But he's rather late to the outing ball, anyway:

"The FMA is the legislative equivalent of a nuclear bomb," wrote DC activist John Aravosis in the Washington Blade last week, defending outing members of Congress and their staffers. "Facing such an unprecedented threat, it is time we considered an unprecedented response."

I don't like Mikulski, and I'll admit that a part of me -- not a nice part -- ain't exactly broken up to see an arch-liberal turned upon by her outright leftist onetime supporters.

But this is nasty shit, and this puts the lie to the left's pious claims to be steadfast in support of sexual privacy. They want their own sexual privacy respected; however, they want the sexual practices of their enemies -- both real and feverishly imagined -- exposed for all the world's snickering and derision.

This is blackmail, pure and simple. Add "blackmail" to the list of crimes that committed leftists believe themselves justified committing should their precious consciences so dictate.

Posted by: Ace at 11:08 AM | Comments (21)
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Best of the Web has a fun piece about the very-real possibility of an electoral college tie, and who would probably prevail in such a case.

Bush would probably be re-elected President. But if Democrats win back the Senate, John Edwards could be elected Vice President.

Which is an absolutely intolerable situation. We can't have a government which can be so utterly changed by one assassin's bullet.

We have to correct this Constitutional death-trap as soon as possible. We can't do so before the elections, but we'd better do it shortly thereafter.

Correction: I initially stated that John Kerry could be elected Veep. The Black Republican corrected me.

Posted by: Ace at 10:54 AM | Comments (8)
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Apparently arrested "at least a few months before," according to Iraq's Human Rights Minister.

The Iraqis don't seem to have actually executed this capture, but at least they get to announce it.

Posted by: Ace at 10:39 AM | Comments (1)
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I'm sure everyone knows this, but this is one of those stories that's too big not to blog: Iranian intelligence agents -- they say they are, at least -- have been captured with explosives in Baghdad, apparently planning a car-bombing.

Without doubt, we have the right to bomb the living shit out of Iran. As has been the case for 10 years, though, we probably won't, because we have what seems increasingly-futile hope that the Iranian democracy movement can change the regime at some point, and we don't want to turn those pro-US reformers against us.

But I don't know. This is clearly an act of war (at least assuming this all gets confirmed). How can we not bomb Iran?

Are we going to let Iran continue to make war against us and build atomic bombs simply because we have hopes that one day, perhaps in the far future, the indiginous pro-democratic opposition may topple the mullahs? How long can we wait for that string to play out?

I'm not making an argument either way. This sort of a decision is well above my pay-grade. I'm just asking questions.

Posted by: Ace at 09:03 AM | Comments (27)
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As mentioned yesterday, the North Korean media straight-facedly reports that dictator/runt-sized maniac Kim Jong-Il shot thirty-eight under par... his first time playing the game.

And that he "routinely" scores three or four holes-in-one per outing.

But his accomplishments don't stop there, of course.

Top Ten Lesser-Known Kim Jong-Il Accomplishments

10. Swam the English Channel in twelve minutes flat, using dolphin-flop swimming technique learned from The Man From Atlantis

9. Noted weightlifter credited with numerous training innovations; believed to be the first man who ever spotted someone bench-pressing while screaming "You gotta WANT it! PUSH! PUSH IT!!!!" with his nards dangling in the other guy's face

8. Nailed Christina Aguilera, before she caught that bad case of the skankies-- you know, back when it meant something

7. World-renown philosopher most famous for sublime Buddhist aphorism, "Whoever smelt it, dealt it"

6. Powered the New York Mets to their 1986 World Series title under the alias "Mookie" Wilson

5. Innovator of new X-Game craze, Extreme Bowling

4. Gold Medalist and reigning champion in "North Korean Triathalon" (run 26.6 miles, bike 110 miles, kick 60 political prisoners in their faces)

3. Insists he could enter and win the Tour de France, "if he felt like it"

2. Briefly married to Juice "Playin' With the Queen of Hearts" Newton

...and the Number One Lesser-Known Kim Jong-Il Accomplishment...

1. According to official state bio, is a champion-level boxer; has defeated Muhammed Ali, Evander Holyfield, and "Thunderlips" from Rocky III

Topical Top Ten Flashback! Top Ten John Edwards Campaign Excuses.

Gastronomical Update: Florida Cracker reports that our Beloved Maniac also invented the hamburger.

Posted by: Ace at 08:02 AM | Comments (11)
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Don't click on this link unless you're prepared for some unpleasant truths (and, along the way, some pleasant Michael Moore bashing). It's a useful little reality check about partisanship and political dishonesty.

Oliver Willis, meanwhile, demonstrates why he's been hailed by Instapundit as an important political commentator and all-around super-comedian by parodying her remarks thusly:

"Argh! Michael Moore makes me angry, because he produced one succesful documentary and now the left should shut up because its the same as years and years of Fox News, talk radio, vanity publishing houses, propaganda websites, several newspapers, and multibillion dollar thinktanks !!! Aiiiiieeeeee!"

I always enjoy the triple-exclamation-point. And of course the "Aiiiiiieeeee!" is always a sign of thoughtful analysis.

Classic.

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep as I realize that I'll never be able to elevate my own commentary and comedy to that high level. I'm just too darn partisan and juvenile.

Related Point: Daniel Drezner frets about a loss of civility in the blog world.

He takes a dig at "bomb-throwers." I wish I could take offense at that, but, sadly, I'm afraid he probably hasn't heard of me. Damnit-- here I was hoping to be insulted.

But check the comments. Scan down for Michael Ledeen (yes, that Michael Ledeen) making a very interesting point. It isn't that blogs have become less civil, but that mainstream media debate has become less civil; he offers Paul Krugman's latest slander of his daughter as evidence of this.

Those whining about a little invective in blogs really should first see about reigning in the Paul Krugmans and Robert Scheers. If they can't be reigned in -- and of course they cannot be -- it seems a little bit strange to be bemoaning the lack of civility in amateur blogs.

Yes, yes-- someone will respond "But blogs should be better than that; blogs are supposed to correct the failings of the mainstream media, not indulge in those failings themselves." Well, maybe. It depends upon whether you define blogs as moral exemplars and paragons of civility or else just junior-level media operations designed to be a counter to the mainstream media. And it depends upon whether a counter-media should seek to correct the procedural failings of the media (civility, fact-checking, etc.) or the substantive biases of the media (the general, stultifying bias towards the left).

I'm in favor of whatever definition it is that allows me to call Michael Moore "fugly and fobese." If I can't call him that, then the terrorists will have won.

Posted by: Ace at 06:48 AM | Comments (5)
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