Well, not really. I wrote this on a site I got banned from.

For a while I was reading amateur scripts-- like, on the American Zoetrope site, to get your script evaluated you had to read other people's scripts -- and I noticed a lot of them were, what's the word?, really bad. Many of them, it seemed to me, were just someone's last D&D campaign transcribed into "screenplay" format.

So that's what I did. I don't know if this is all that funny, but it is definitely dorky, and you geeks sometimes seem to like that. more...

Posted by: Ace at 10:33 PM | Comments (26)
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I think the fact that he was talking to reporters shows he didn't think he was doing anything wrong. If he thought he was doing something wrong, why not just leave a tip annoymously on some reporter's doorstep?

And, as the headline question asks, why not go down to a Kinko's, get a computer for an hour (paying cash), and drop email tips from a use-once hotmail account and let some bloggers know the story?

The funny thing is... no one knew about the Novak item, really, until the left started screaming about the leak. (And the left-leaning blogs were crucial in pushing this story into the MSM.)

Miller didn't use the Plame info. Matt Cooper mentioned it briefly (I think). Novak mentioned it briefly.

And it wasn't heard of again, until the big story became the leak itself rather than the content of the leak (the CIA sent someone's husband on a put-up job to Niger).

Now, imagine if that story had been debuted in the blogosphere. Wall to wall coverage, uberlinkage, millions of people reading it within the week. Let's face it, a lot of us would just link it because it was a blogosphere scoop.

And it would have been a more or less an untraceable tip, if you're trying to be shady about it.

I don't think the Old Guard really gets this INTERNET thing yet.

I think when they do get it, blogs are going to be used for this sort of tipping. This is the Last Big Shady Leak the media will get.

Or at least the Last Big Shady Leak that helps conservatives. Liberals of course will continue using the New York Times and the rest of the liberal media, who are more than willing to repeat their Republican-undermining leaks, no questions asked.

Just so you idiots in government know: We can pick up the phone and ask for comment, and run searches and the like. Even do a little research. Just like our priestly caste of journalists do.

Posted by: Ace at 09:23 PM | Comments (19)
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Why should men lose their heads for a pretty face? ItÂ’s all hormonal, baby. And the hormone in question is estrogen:

The female sex hormone oestrogen was thought to be the mediator of beauty, which advertises health and fecundity. Now researchers at the University of St Andrews have shown for the first time that women with higher levels of oestrogen do indeed have more attractive faces. Â…

[During Puberty,]

he female sex hormone oestrogen prevents the growth of facial bone, reduces the size of the nose and chin, and leads to large eyes, increased thickness of lips and fat deposition in the cheek area, along with hips and buttocks, features that announce that a woman is fertile. Â…

Ms Law Smith said: "Women are effectively advertising their general fertility with their faces. Our findings could explain why men universally seem to prefer feminine women's faces. In evolutionary terms, it makes sense for men to favour feminine fertile women, those that did would have had more babies."The hormone/fertility link recalls my favorite evolutionary “So, *that’s* the reason” article from last year: The Economist’s report on why men prefer larger breasts.

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Posted by: Dr. Reo Symes at 08:21 PM | Comments (16)
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Huh? I thought Fiddy was the thug and Kanye was the niceboy genius all about positivity and that kind of gay shit.

Oh well. Guess thugs are cooler.

Posted by: Ace at 08:18 PM | Comments (15)
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(Suggested by Adolfo Velasquez)

10. Do not play football with a round 'ball' as the Jew-loving pig heretics do. Play, instead, with a cone or, better yet, a cube, like our beloved black borg cube at Mecca. (from Adolfo)

9. He who shall touch, deflect, or stop a ball with his hand, and who is not a "goalie," shall have his offending hand struck off by a sword and burned upon the field to cleanse the insult given. Also, the other team shall be allowed a penalty kick. The kick shall be spotted from the place of flaming severed hand.

8. Do not wear Addidas, for they are the Devil's athletic footwear.

7. You will not follow the Western Jew manner of accounting for points. Upon the scoring of the first goal, a team shall be said to have one point. Upon the scoring of their second goal, a team will be said to have nine points. Upon the scoring of their third goal, a team will said to have two points. And upon scoring a fourth or further goal, a team will have zero points, for they are wasting time that could be better spent raving in the streets about something or other.

6. A goalie may stop a ball with his hand, or a big-ass Ali Baba scimitar. If he cuts the ball neatly in half, the opponent who kicked the ball must forfeit all of his goats and daughters to him.

5. "Time outs" are for infidels, and homosexuals, and/or infidel homosexuals. Anyone calling a "time out" should immediately be stoned to death, for they are an abomination. On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with a coffee break in the middle of play, so long as all parties agree they could do with a pick-me-up.

4. Wear not cleats, for they are the traction-enhancing contrivance of the disobedient and corrupt. Allah likes watching grown men slide their asses all over a wet soccer field. It makes Him giggle.

3. If a man should commit a personal foul against you, play will stop immediately. Both he who hath given offense and he who hath been offended shall be brought over a pool of acid, upon a wooden beam eight inches across; and they shall fight to the death using spears and pole-axes, while that cool battle music from Star Trek plays. Allah likes Star Trek, at least the first series, before they "fagged it all up."

2. Both teams shall attempt to score only in one direction-- towards Mecca. The confusion this will cause will almost certainly result in chaos, violence and rioting, but this is Good, for this is more or less what you should be out doing anyhow.

...and the Number One Other Change To Soccer Demanded By Maniac Imams...

1. Only one "football song" is permitted to be chanted at matches, and all teams shall chant the same song. That song is Two of Hearts by Stacey Q., for it has a funky beat and a nasty groove, and she's pretty hot for a kuffar pig-monkey demon.

Posted by: Ace at 05:02 PM | Comments (18)
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UPDATE: NOT A JOKE! MEMRI has the translation, and there are actually three additional elements to the fatwa, including not playing the game "surrounded" by four lines, as that is the way of the "polytheists." Thanks to Sean for that.

ORIGINAL POST:

It seems like a joke. The article claims this is a translation from a Saudi newspaper, but no link is provided; but then, not all the media of the world have an on-line presence.

There's nothing identifying it as a joke.

And it's from the Guardian UK, which, as far as I know, does not seem to have a sense of humor, except for some shitgiggle-sarcasm when Americans or Israelis are butchered.

So: Joke, or not a joke? A fatwa about soccer (known to foreign pansies as "football"), which stipulates the ways in which the game is to be changed in order to not follow the rules of the "decadent and corrupt" western imperialists.

Islamically-correct soccer. It must be read to be believed. I've read it, and I still don't believe it.

At some point we must drop the pretense of politeness and simply begin telling these people: You. Are. Fucking. Insane.

I'm sorry, but sometimes tough-love is needed. We've been sugar-coating this for a while, but it might be time for more bitter medicine.

One billion people in the world are tyrannized by a paranoid and hateful thought-system promulgated by maniacs that, were it not termed "one of the world's great religions," would be deemed a fucking psychiatric condition.

And we're all supposed to nod our heads and say "Yes, by Allah, 'Islam' means peace."

Well, perhaps. But not the way a lot of the current Defenders of the Faith are defining it.

Read the list. If this is real, then I'm afraid there's no other term that can apply to this madness than "batshit over-the-fucking moon crazy-eyed lunatic ravings."

And I mean that with all due respect.

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Posted by: Ace at 04:22 PM | Comments (30)
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I think I saw Bam Margera try shutting down the Senate in order to make a crybaby point in an old episode of Jackass.

It's about that time. Actually, it was that time four years ago. It's time for a political advertisement knitting together Clinton's, Gore's, Hillary!'s, Rockefeller's, Kerry's, etc.'s various statements over the years warning against Saddam's bio, chem, and nuclear programs.

And fucking blitz it. I'm sick of this. And I'm angry at the stupid fucking GOP for not doing its fucking job and ridiculing these people the way they should be ridiculed.

Dave From Garfield Ridge Gets Cornerlanched For An Email: Cool.

Although... "delicious irony"? I don't know if Powers Boothe would be comfortable using that expression.

Posted by: Ace at 12:07 PM | Comments (349)
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Remember that re-cut of material from The Shining into a trailer selling it as a feel-good family movie about a boy who just wants to get closer to his father?

Well, someone's now cut a trailer of Star Wars III as if it's a gay-lovers-against-the-repressive-galaxy road movie.

Again, it's the music that really sells this. Cher? Perfect.

Maybe a scene of the phallically-extending lightsabers might have been a little too over-the-top, but come on. Sometimes you have to be a little over-the-top.

Thanks to O.G., who thinks Sulu has started a trend.

Please-- not C3PO. My world would be rocked.

Posted by: Ace at 11:46 AM | Comments (8)
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Imagine: 6000Â’ under water, a robotic saw slices a 3mm wide slit in a surface pressure pipe.

WouldnÂ’t it be cool if there was a video of something wandering near that slit, sayÂ… an unsuspecting Mr. Crab just out on his daily constitutional?

Well, here you go. (loads automatically)

(Via Kottke.)

Posted by: Dr. Reo Symes at 11:32 AM | Comments (14)
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Why wasn't I informed immediately?

Bai Ling can't sing. I mean, she really can't sing.

Who is Bai Ling? I didn't know either. Apparently she was in The Crow, I suppose as Michael Wincott's sister-cum-lover.

She doesn't even have that William Hong "It Factor" that all the kids are crazy about these days.

Posted by: Ace at 10:56 AM | Comments (4)
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