If Europe doesn't want us to "unilaterally" target terrorist-friendly and anti-American regimes, perhaps they can do their part by not unilaterally arming them with terrorist-friendly technologies:

Spain's Europa Press news agency reports that Venezuela purchased "biological and nerve agents" as well as dual-use materials from Spain sometime during the first half of 2004. According to a report about defense expenditures obtained by Europa Press, Venezuela was the only country listed under the category of "states to which chemical warfare agents and radioactive materials were sold." [Link to Enlglish translation deleted.]

...

The amount of biological or nerve agents probably isn't large -- Europa Press sets the purchase price at 30,000 Euros, which isn't out of line with the price of a single kilogram of South American heroin....But any amount of WMD in the hands of the Castroite Chavez regime is too much.

...

Interestingly, Spain and Venezuela have both ratified the Chemical Weapons Convention, Article I of which requires that:

Each State Party to this Convention undertakes never under any circumstances:
(a) To develop, produce, otherwise acquire, stockpile or retain chemical weapons, or transfer, directly or indirectly, chemical weapons to anyone;
(b) To use chemical weapons;
(c) To engage in any military preparations to use chemical weapons;
(d) To assist, encourage or induce, in any way, anyone to engage in any activity prohibited to a State Party under this Convention.

Yeah, we really should sign further treaties with Europe. They're so keen on honoring the ones already inked.

...

Assuming the story is accurate: President Luis Zapatero was elected in the aftermath of the 3-11 Madrid bombing. The Europa Press source dates the sales to Venezuela from the first half of 2004, meaning it could have been either the Socialist Zapatero or his pro-American predecessor Jose Maria Aznar who arranged the sale. Which administration is responsible? My first guess is that since Zapatero hasn't taken the opportunity to decry his opposition's perfidious practice of selling weapons to rogue dictators, he may end up with tapas on his face.

As the man says: They're not anti-war, they're just on the other side.

Posted by: Ace at 06:37 AM | Comments (8)
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Or at least he reads Mencken. But I'll take credit anyway until it's positively disproven:

The East Coast is out as well – as much as I love New York, I can take only so much time in dense compacted urban environments before I start channeling my inner Travis Bickle. The Pacific Northwest is likewise out – too much rain and too many cloudy days make me hoist the black flag and start looking for throats to cut.

Alas, no link. Could have used the Lileksalanche, because quite frankly I'm feeling lazy and plan on posting pictures of my neighbor's cat Mr. Peepers for the entire week.

Then again, it's sort of hard to really capture the essence of a cat on a digital camera.

So the hell with it. I'll probably just repost some of my worse top tens all week.

Isn't it re-run season anyway?

This self-serving link brought to you by Exoteric. Blame him, not me. I can't resist the self-puffery. It's like crack. And trust me, I now know about the romance of crack.

Posted by: Ace at 06:27 AM | Comments (1)
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The anniversary was actually yesterday, but SondraK quotes Mohammad of Iraq the Model explaining how much that day meant to him.

Thanks to Utron.

Whoops, That Wasn't Even What He Was Talking About Update: Now this is more my style -- Christopher Walken as Uncle Sam, demanding more cowbell.

Because Christopher Walken Is Nearly as Cool as Paul Anka Update: Chris dancing in the Weapon of Choice video. Cribbed from SondraK's comments.

Posted by: Ace at 02:30 PM | Comments (16)
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News to me. Also coins a new term for two guys hanging out together -- a "man-date." Replacing the previous term, "hanging out with a friend," which has been dismissed by the times as both passe and "not gay enough."

They're just not going to be happy until homosexuality is tolerated via universal practice.

Men can't hang out together one-on-one? We only feel comfortable in groups? I've never heard such idiocy. I do begin to wonder if the NYT has retained a single straight male on its payroll. Maybe they could talk to someone in the shipping warehouse.

Nah. They wouldn't want to lower themselves.

The only evidence I have that remotely supports this moronic thesis is a time I went to see a movie with Son of Nixon. He sat down where I like to sit -- middle of the theater, about halfway back, and I promptly sat down next to him.

"What are you doing?" he wanted to know.

"What?" I said. "I'm sitting down."

"Not next to me," he said. "We have to have a 'homo seat.'"

"A what?"

"A buffer seat between us."

"How are we going to talk during the movie?"

"You can lean over," he said. "Or you can just keep quiet until the end. But any way you slice it, we need a homo seat, and goddamnit we're going to have ourselves one."

"I don't understand," I said. "Why do we need a 'buffer'? We're both straight. Do you actually not trust me to sit next to you in a movie theater without suddenly reaching into your pants?"

"I suppose I trust you well enough," he said. "But why take any unnecessary risks? Trust-- but verify."*

Trust but verify indeed. Words to live by.

We were in our early twenties when this occurred, bear in mind.

But, apart from this newly-discovered prerequisite of a "homo seat," I've never once felt "gay" hanging out with another guy.

You know when straight guys feel gay? When they're hanging out with women. Including their girlfriends and/or wives.

I realize this makes no kind of sense whatsoever, but there you go.

* Yes, this actually is a true story. Well, I had to reconstruct the dialogue, but the general outline is true.

Posted by: Ace at 02:06 PM | Comments (41)
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And this was even a shorter wedding, meaning it only lasted about half as long as the Tour de France.

Gaaaccchhh.

Is prime rib actually a cut of meat you can get at the butcher, or is it some sort of creation that only appears for weddings? Kind of like egg nog during Christmastime. (PS, what becomes of the nog mines during the off-season? Are they just shuttered or what?)

Only good thing: left before the band played the obligatory Celebration.

Oh, and of course I wish the bride and groom a happy marriage. Whoever the heck they were. They seemed like nice people.

The tux goes back into the closet. Won't come out again until Spike does Bond week again, which I think they have scheduled to begin every third Wednesday.

Yeahp, me sittin' in my tux, watchin' For Your Eyes Only, chugging my Val-U-Rite discount vodka, exchaning sexy double-entendres with a Senor Wences-syle hand puppet I call "Moneypenny."

Good times. Great times, actually.

Posted by: Ace at 01:46 PM | Comments (32)
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The Ninth Circuit... what a shock:

A federal appeals court Friday overturned an inmate’s conviction for writing a crude, rambling letter endorsing President Bush’s death at the hands of terrorists — two weeks after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

The letter from Oregon State Penitentiary prisoner Jonathan Lincoln, who was charged with threatening the president and given an 18-month sentence last year, read, in part: “You will die too George W Bush real Soon they Promised That you would Long Live Bin Laden.”

Corrections officials intercepted the letter; Lincoln had been serving a 46-month sentence for robbery.

A unanimous three-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said the letter was protected under the First Amendment, calling it “Lincoln’s crude and offensive method of stating a political opposition to the president.” The court noted “such political hyperbole does not constitute a ‘threat.”’

There you go. Mere "political hyperbole" does not constitute a "threat."

Now, you may be thinking, "Gee, maybe they got this one right. After all, a threat is more than a wish for harm to come to pass. It's a statement of intent to cause harm to occur."

But no. Read on:

The decision reversed a ruling by Judge James A. Redden, who tried the case without a jury. Redden ruled the letter constituted a "true threat" when combined with statements Lincoln made six months earlier to a Secret Service agent that he wanted to assassinate the president.

I hope the judges can live with the consequences of their rulings. I don't support threats or violence against political figures, but I do hope they realize that they are political figures as well.

Free speech = the right to threaten assassination of political figures. Not really the law as I would choose to have it, but the Ninth Circuit has spoken.

Thanks to Jim.

Posted by: Ace at 01:32 PM | Comments (23)
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Sounds like the sort of protest I can get behind:

The Free Muslims Against Terrorism are proud to announce that on May 14th 2005, Muslims and Middle Easterners of all backgrounds will converge on our nationÂ’s Capital for a rally against terrorism and to support freedom and democracy in the Middle East and the Muslim world. This will be the first rally of its kind in Washington DC that is led by Muslims and Middle Easterners.

Join us in sending a message to radical Muslims and supporters of terrorism that we reject them and that we will do all we can to defeat them.

We also want to send a message of hope to the people of the Muslim world and the Middle East who seek freedom, democracy and who reject radical Islam that we are with them and that we will do all we can to support them.

This rally is NOT limited to Muslims and Middle Easterners. We request anyone and everyone who supports our message to join us at the rally. We want to send a message to the extremists and terrorists that American Muslims, Christians, Jews and people of all faiths are united against terrorism and extremism.

Anyone near the DC area might want to think about joining the march.

Thanks to Irwin.

Posted by: Ace at 01:22 PM | Comments (5)
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... over at Garfield Ridge.

Dave continues his specialty in finding cringe-inducingly bad TV hosts, this time a sportscaster.

And this is strange. The vicious climax to the movie Se7en, acted out by stuffed animals.

Posted by: Ace at 07:17 PM | Comments (7)
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An exhibition, not a competition. If there's a "winner," it will be via popular acclaim.

Also, there is an "open" category for non-Pat O'Brian haikus. Because, let's face it, you can only write so many variations on "You're so fuckin' hot." I have a feeling some of these may involve my embarassingly weak t-shirt sales.

To get the ball rolling, once again, more old material:

Wind-Ghosts Tickle Chimes at Dusk

I'm so fuckin' into you.
I want to make you crazy.
Make. You. Fuckin'. Craaazy.

Have fun. Or don't. What do I care. I didn't like you before you started busting on my chops all the f'n' time, and I'm less thrilled with the lot of you now.

Clarification: A certain pussyboy I won't name, except to say he's not JeffB., wants to know if I'm really upset about the chops-busting.

No! Hey, I keep telling you guys I don't like you and stuff like that. Certainly I can take a little ribbing back.

So-- no problem. I'm still in that flame-war mentality. It's anything goes here. It's Thunderdome, baby.

Update: Well, Allah and Son of America and others apparently want to have a Haiku Flame War. Fine with me, boys. I'm a master of syllabation.

CONTENT WARNING for all comments. Pat O'Brien + Flame War + the delicate art of Japanese Haiku = Not Suitable For Family Audiences.

Posted by: Ace at 11:31 AM | Comments (203)
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They eat their own (ahem):

In Dianne Feinstein's hometown of San Francisco, hard feelings apparently linger about the senator's remark that the push to make marriage legal for same-sex couples hurt Democrats in the November election.

Organizers of the gay pride parade held in the city every June announced Thursday that Feinstein was the winner of this year's "Pink Brick" award, a dubious honor bestowed on the public figure a San Francisco group decides has done the most to damage the gay rights cause. President Bush and talk show host Laura Schlessinger were the previous winners.

Joey Cain, president of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Pride Committee, said Feinstein was nominated for the prize for telling reporters the morning after Bush's re-election that progress on the gay marriage front "has been too much, too fast, too soon."

"There are a lot of people in the community who feel very betrayed by her because they have supported her," Cain said.

Howard Gantman, a Feinstein spokesman, called the senator's nomination for the Pink Brick "very unfortunate," saying it neglects Feinstein's long record of support for gay and lesbian issues not only as a senator, but as a former San Francisco supervisor and mayor during the early days of the AIDS crisis.

"It's really too bad they haven't chosen, in terms of this effort, to really focus on people who have been longtime opponents of the gay community," Gantman said earlier this week.

Goddamnit, I wanted to win, baby. My full-page "For Your Consideration" advertisement in Variety was just wasted money. As usual.

I'm going to start my own "Busted Flush" award for conservatives who have most betrayed the conservative faith and thus harmed the movement.

My first winner? G. Gordon Liddy, that red-diaper pansy of a queerbait commie.

Idiotic.

Posted by: Ace at 10:56 AM | Comments (8)
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