It measures your beliefs against the general (British) population on crime and punishment, foreign policy, economics, and war.

Karol from Alarming News is considered "very right wing" on the economy and war. Thank goodness. I can't keep up this "conservative" act of mine much longer.

One of these days I have to just drop the pretense and admit that I pretty much agree with everything Jeneane Garafalo says, down the line.

Posted by: Ace at 10:25 AM | Comments (17)
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And when I say "love," I of course mean "have sex with."

From Swedes Against Bush:

"...The Swedes and Americans have had a long, caring relationship over this last century. You drive our Saabs, we drive your Fords. You listen to ABBA, we listen to Britney Spears. Thousands of Swedes emigrated to your nation hundred of years ago, in search of a better life. And for that we thank you. But you see, ever since Bush Jr. took office... things have changed. Your government has begun to upset the world more and more and by now we've frankly had enough. Unfortunately, most of the things Bush does affects our lives as well - it's not just you he's screwing! So, as a way to show our love for democracy, we've created this web page to show you that you are not alone - Scandinavia wants to get rid of Bush as much as you do..."

From "The Local," headline Sweden highlights bestiality problem:

...Bestiality, or sex with animals, is a growing problem in Sweden and in many cases the animals suffer physical injury...which species are most often abused and whether the animals suffer psychologically from the abuse...

Horses are most often subjected to violations. Even if it is difficult to assess an animal's degree of psychological suffering, it is likely that it experiences discomfort or is subjected to psychological suffering even in cases where there
is no evidence of physical injury...

Assessing the psychological suffering of an animal? I don't know if I'd put it in those terms. But it is very nasty.

And as for inflicting "physical injury" on a horse via bestiality... well, jeepers, I'd like to shake that man's hand.

What does this prove? Well, nothing, really. But then, it doesn't really prove anything about the US that we're a bit overweight and we like McDonald's and lots of ketchup, and yet the Europeans never stop nattering on about that.

So, the next time a Swede starts bitching and complaining about American "cowboys," just point out that cowboys here in America ride our horses in the conventional style; i.e., on the back, not from behind.

Thanks to RCL.

Posted by: Ace at 10:22 AM | Comments (15)
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You've probably heard this before, but it's still pretty damn funny. The infamous "Snuggles" Long Distace Dedication... featuring a very profane Casey Kasem.

We'll try to avoid that sort of melt-down on our show. Wait-- not avoid. Encourage.

Pimping My Streaming-Audio Ride: Score! Just got Michelle Malkin to give up at least two embarassing details about her thus-far secret nerdy past, and we will definitely be probing them.

I noodged and whined it out of her. I'm good with the whining. Is there a job that pays you to whine? I mean, apart from a sinecure at the UN.

Posted by: Ace at 10:02 AM | Comments (4)
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In case you missed it. (Scan down a bit.)

Posted by: Ace at 09:56 AM | Comments (1)
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They're nasty and persnickety, but, on the other hand, they're also craven and spineless:

Following hundreds of angry phone calls and e-mails, school officials in this Army base city have reduced a suspension imposed on a student who wouldn't give up his cell phone while talking to his mom a sergeant on duty in Iraq.

The angry calls about the boy's suspension got so bad at one point that secretaries had to take their phones off the hook, assistant principal Alfred Parham said.

...

On Friday, the school district reduced the suspension to three days, which will allow Francois to return to school Monday, after officials met with him, the guardian who cares for him while his mother is out of the country, and a representative of her unit.

"People are fussing at us, calling us names," said assistant principal Wendell Turner.

Awwww.

Posted by: Ace at 01:28 PM | Comments (28)
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No, it's not Barnard. That's not technically a Whore College, as they don't have an academic department dedicated to whoring. They just have very competitive intramural leagues.*

This is a real college for whoring.

25 students in jeans and T-shirts could have been in any career that requires hustle. The classes, covering topics such as effective marketing, stress reduction and legal issues, could have been part of any professional development seminar.

But this was "Whore College," and any illusion it was just another corporate how-to for young go-getters abruptly ended at the sex toy display and was stripped away for good during a graphic demonstration that put a whole new twist on the concept of hands-on training.

"We are still illegal," instructor Kimberlee Cline said before her 20-minute demonstration. "If we want to be treated as business professionals, we need to act ethically within the industry."

...

Participants who stuck it out for the whole day received diplomas certifying them as G.S.W's — graduates in sex work.

...

"Sex work is work. Prostitution is work," Leigh said. "The most important thing is that we are diverse. Some are on the streets and in a very desperate situation. Others are in a working-class situation and maybe bored in their jobs. And others see sex work as their calling."

In related news, I'm quitting this blog so I can start going to CUNY to earn my teaching certificate. I'm going to minor in Razor-Blade Concealment.

Now, hold on to your hats: "Whore College" located in San Fransisco.

What a shock. Breaking news. Must credit Ace.

Yeah, I know, a top ten is called for... but it just seems to easy.

Thanks to Greg.

* No, I don't have anything against Barnard. I don't even think I actually know anyone from Barnard. But this is the sort of situation where you have to tell a joke suggesting that someone out there is an easy score, and I just picked Barnard.

A Pun So Bad It's Good Update: J Mann:

My guess is that summa cum laude, but some don't.

I think it depends on how much they're being paid.

Posted by: Ace at 11:42 AM | Comments (32)
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I used to cover this religiously, but lately I just seem to be on a Pat O'Brien/Rosie O'Donnell Jag.

Charles chides me for my loose shit and sends this article about the Bush jobs boom, currently the best-kept secret in the media (now that the previous best-kept secrets --Corey Clark dorking Paula Abdul; something... bad going on with Katie Holmes' lips -- have been exposed).

The latest employment report marks 24 straight months of positive job creation in the U.S. economy – more than 3 million jobs’ worth of good news. Yet, during that period network news has found plenty of negatives and has downplayed net employment gains on President Bush’s watch, even comparing job growth to the Great Depression.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics May 6, 2005, report, about 3.3 million jobs have been created in the past two years. The latest numbers showed 274,000 new jobs were created in April and the report also added 93,000 jobs to previous totals. Unemployment also held steady at the low figure of 5.2 percent. But the media have dismissed and ignored job growth and even found ways to portray it as a sign of a “bad” economy.

Coming up on the presidential election, Dan Rather jumped the gun with a highly inaccurate prediction. On Oct. 8, 2004, the September jobs numbers showed positive growth, and Bush’s first term had more than three months left. Despite those facts, Rather declared on the “CBS Evening News,” “It’s the first net job loss on a president’s watch since Herbert Hoover during the Great Depression of the 1930s.” He neglected to mention the devastating economic effects of the 9/11 attacks, which reporters seldom acknowledge. Of course, Rather’s prediction also was wrong, as Bush ended his term with a net job gain – which Rather mentioned in a 77-word report on the Feb. 4, 2005, broadcast.

And of course Dan Rather isn't alone. Sadly enough, even Maria "The Money Honey" Bartiromo grieves over merely producing 3.3 million jobs in 2 years.

Haven't seen this guy in a while...

Posted by: Ace at 11:31 AM | Comments (12)
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And repeated later. Not really sure how all that works yet.

All on Rightalk.

First guests: Supercolumnist and superblogger Michelle Malkin and James Taranto of the must-read Best of the Web Today on Wall Street Journal's Opinion Journal thingee.

They've both confirmed (Michelle said "We're on like Donkey Kong," which I hope to have the opportunity to use in a conversation some time) but, obviously, there's always the possibility of a last-minute cancellation.

If there are questions you'd like to see us ask them, feel free to suggest them in the comments. We're working on our own questions, of course, and we probably won't be able to get to more than one reader-suggested question (if that; we've only got them for 20-25 minutes each, and that's just not a lot of time at all), but if you've got a great one, we'll see if we can slip it in.

Ummm, personal favor? Don't suggest any untoward questions for Michelle. Shockingly enough, she reads this moronblog from time to time.

Yes yes, she's very hot, but there isn't a lot of political interest in that line of inquiry. Unless it's something about the Dour Feminist Left's insistence that women ought not be pretty or use lipstick, but we're probably going to ask her something about that anyhow. Time permitting. We have a lot to ask both of them, and we'll probably get to less than a quarter of the stuff we want to ask.

Oh, As To Calls: Someone asked if we'd be taking calls.

We plan on taking calls. For this first show, do call in, but I've got to tell you, it's a bit action-packed and we don't know if we'll get to take many, or any, calls at all.

My original conception was a one-guest show, taking about a half hour, with a half an hour for Karol and I to riff on the news and take calls. Whether we switch over to that format is anyone's guess; for the first show, we're loading it up with guests because, really, we haven't done this before, and frankly we can use the help of articulate and interesting guests just carrying us along.

Once we get the hang of this, we'll see if we're able to carry that last half-hour ourselves. With help from callers, of course.

Posted by: Ace at 10:48 AM | Comments (45)
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Ten days' suspension. For talking to his mom in Iraq.

A high school student was suspended for 10 days for refusing to end a cell phone call with his mother, a soldier serving in Iraq, school officials said.

The 10-day suspension was issued because Kevin Francois was "defiant and disorderly" and was imposed in lieu of an arrest, Spencer High School assistant principal Alfred Parham said.

The confrontation Wednesday began after the 17-year-old junior got a call at lunchtime from his mother, Sgt. 1st Class Monique Bates, who left in January for a one-year tour with the 203rd Forward Support Battalion.

Cell phones are allowed on campus but may not be used during school hours. When a teacher told him to hang up, he refused. He said he told the teacher, "This is my mom in Iraq. I'm not about to hang up on my mom."

Parham said the teen's suspension was based on his reaction to the teacher's request. He said the teen used profanity when taken to the office.

He used profanity? They're lucky he didn't take a poke at someone's jaw.

Thanks to Ed in Texas, who points out the surprising part of this story is the dateline. No, it's not San Fransisco. It's Columbus Frickin' Georgia:

This is the town that grew up in front of the main
gate of Friggin Fort Benning.
Home of the US Infantry.
Home of US Airborne School (every paratrooper
in the US military trained at Benning. All of 'em)

Which just reinforces my belief that I was right to ignore just about every f'n' thing any teacher ever said to me in high school.

Posted by: Ace at 09:41 AM | Comments (24)
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Seriously, Stairway to Heaven really is pretty creepy backwards. I remember listening to it backwards in high school, and thinking, "Okay, I guess the people making a big issue about this do sort of have some reason to be suspicious." I mean, it's garbled and really he's not saying anything backwards at all, but if you're willing to believe, you can catch something that sounds like "One little child for Satan" and "He gives us six-six-six."

But of course it has to be accidental. The lyric -- heard in normal forward mode -- is just too good. It's just not possible that someone could intentionally write a great lyric that plays a "Satanic message" when heard backwards. No one's that talented. Not even Jimmy Page.

Unless... he really did forge a pact with the Fallen One.

No idea what the hell I'm supposed to be hearing on the other tracks. Another One Bites the Dust sounds just like you'd expect it to sound backwards-- just a bunch of backwards gibberish, for example.

Thanks to The Fat Kid.

Ultimate Score Update: Okay... Hit Me Baby One More Time is a must listen.

No getting around it... it sure does sound like she's saying "Sleep with me, I'm not too young."

Not sure why she needed to make that a subliminal message... the song and the video conveyed that message quite, errr, liminally. Sort of like including a backwards-masked subliminal message like "Air is something you should probably breathe, and try to eat some food and drink some water, or else you could die or something." What's the point?

Posted by: Ace at 09:25 AM | Comments (29)
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