by Zelda of The Urban Grind

Finally a bit of good news!

A ballsy New England police chief is taking a novel approach to the illegal alien problem in his district. He's charging them with trespassing.

As usual, the Mexican government, the ACLU and the open borders crowd are not pleased. Mexico, in its infinite capacity for "chutzpah" has hired a lawyer to defend the illegals. And the ACLU is crying racism:

"They worry about vigilante police chiefs who will round up people based on the color of their skin."

Sorry Aztlanistas but illegal is illegal, and I don't care if you're black, brown, green, purple or white!

"The $64,000 question is why these police chiefs are doing this," said state Rep. Hector M. Velez (D), who was born in Pennsylvania and served in Operation Desert Storm before moving to Manchester, about 20 miles northeast of New Ipswich. "They talk terrorism, but none of these guys were looking for anything except hard work. You ask me, some people are afraid of the unknown."

That bastion of honesty and objectivity (sarcasm intended) The New York Times has also chipped in with a sob story of an illegal alien turned minister from Nigeria who was imprisoned for chauferring a drug dealer and now faces the possibility of deportation.

Let me try and make it very simple for this fifth columnist, (And spare me about having served in the military. That doesn't automatically confer the right to be a moonbat forever thereafter) who would no doubt LOVE for a "reconquista" to happen this very minute.

Speaking as the daughter of *legal* immigrants, as I see it, Americans want their country's laws and sovereignty respected. They don't want their public schools stretched thin with the children of people who shouldn't be in this country to begin with. They don't want to see workers wages artificially depressed when companies pay illegals substandard wages with no benefits. They don't want their taxes increased to have to bail out hospitals that have gone bankrupt treating illegals with all sorts of dreadfull diseases. Nor do they want to pay incarceration costs for those that come here and commit vicious crimes. Finally, there is the very important issue of wanting good productive people coming to this country who want to be Americans.

I remember a job I worked at many years ago, when I had a conversation with the personnel lady. This woman was the daughter of Hungarian immigrants who were very grateful for the opportunity to live in this country and build a better life for themselves. They wanted so much to assimilate. So much so that they forbade this woman (as a young girl) to speak Hungarian at home. It was to be English and English only. But nowadays, I never hear of that kind of thing, which is unfortunate.

But still, in other good news, the Minutemen are expanding their operations to both our Northern and Southern borders. It's about time they did, since our government's response to this problem has been wimpy at best. I mean, what Mexican, who has taken the trouble to sneak across our border will want be voluntarily repatriated to Mexico City? And there are plenty of loopholes as well:

Both countries have agreed to remove and accept up to 300 illegal aliens per day, with only Mexican nationals eligible to participate. Apprehended illegal aliens with felony convictions will not be allowed to take part in the program, and those who are included cannot be separated from their family members.

If the entire family does not wish to participate, then no one in the family will be eligible, Mr. Villarreal said, adding that unaccompanied minors also will not be allowed to participate in the program.

Just plain toothless!

Posted by: Ace at 03:26 PM | Comments (5)
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Ace said he'd be back tonight, so I figure that now is as good a time as any to depart.

Thanks to Ace for inviting me back to guestblog-- it means a lot, pal.

As always, allow me to thank you, the Ace of Spades HQ readers, for being among the very best in the blogosphere. Good comments, great feedback, and you always make me laugh.

Of course, I'd also like to thank my fellow guest bloggers for keeping me company with many excellent posts. You guys and gals make this stuff look easy-- I'm homicidally jealous of your talents. Piehole showoffs.

Other than all that, I'd very much appreciate it if you would come visit Garfield Ridge and add it to your blogroll or daily links. I'm no Ace when it comes to either quality or frequency, but I hang in there, and who knows, you may enjoy yourself every once in a while.

Until then. . . SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!!

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Ace at 03:06 PM | Comments (4)
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Friend of Ace, me, and dogs everywhere See-Dubya has been posting over at Patterico's for some time now.

His latest post attempts to understand why anyone in their right mind would gamble online.

Now, I never gamble, unless I order out. I love Las Vegas, and Atlantic City ("Where New York goes to smoke") has its Springsteen-lyric charms, but my appreciation for both locales runs more into the realm of people watching than the opportunity to let it ride. If I play at all, it's just to keep myself mildly entertained until I can scout the clubs or hit a restaurant.

If I earned a cool million a year, I might reconsider my timidity, but geez, there are plenty of things in life more worthy of spending money on, like call girls, Johnnie Walker Blue, and .50 caliber sniper rifles. I'll stick to watching ten straight hours of the World Series of Poker and my scratchy VHS copy of Rounders, thank you very much.

Perhaps this all makes my opinion concerning online gambling unworthy of consideration. After all, I've never tried it, but that's because I subscribe to the same reasons not to that See-Dubya lists.

-- I give my credit card number to someone I don't know, and I probably can't sue.
-- I have no way of independently verifying the accuracy of the games I play, nor any way to complain.
-- There is no people-watching online, dammit.

Besides, if I'm going to spend all that time online, I'll just surf for porn, thank you. And I can find everything I want for free (with the exception of those, ahhh, "specialty" films involving. . . well, we won't get into that now, will we?).

So, anyone out there play online, or know someone who does? Care to explain the appeal, if the answer is not "addiction is a terrible illness"?

Posted by: Ace at 02:45 PM | Comments (10)
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I enjoyed this little ditty over at iFilm, capturing the Material Girl at her loveliest.

What I would like to know is, even if the air was on, could Madonna really think to answer a question?

I remain unconvinced.

Posted by: Ace at 01:47 PM | Comments (5)
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Regular reader of mine know that I frequently write about how many people these days tend to view animals as moral equals, or even superiors of human beings. To me, it's the logical result of the secular humanist philosophy. In that view, human beings are NOT created in G-d's image. Rather, they are just highly evolved, sophisticated animals.

With that line of reasoning, I think it will eventually follow that some people will care more about animals over the welfare of their fellow human beings. An example of this is how moonbats in Manhattan protested the removal of a filthy hawk's nest from a cornice of a chi chi Manhattan coop building. To these wackos, the rights of hawks to reproduce was more important that the rights of the tenants to not have to deal with hawk excrement, and animal carcasses right outside their door.

More recently, I wrote about how a young boy, Nicholas Faibish, was mauled to death by his family's two pit bulls.
But today, I just read about how young Nicholas' ghoulish bitch of a mother forced her son to stay in the basement to watch over those two beasts (many thanks to Vilmar for finding this).

This sorry excuse of a mother had only the following to say about her son's death:

"It's Nicky's time to go. When you're born you're destined to go and this was his time."

In other odd news of people valuing animals more than human beings, a man in New York was charged with endangering his four young children by allowing two 50-pound leopard cubs to roam freely around his suburban New York home. This same man was also charged with beating his wife.

What lovely people these animal lovers are. Oy!

Posted by: Ace at 11:38 AM | Comments (12)
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This is an oldie, circulating around the internet years ago, but it's still one of my favorites:

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found
the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decidedto call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung up.

Next to his phone number I wrote the word "Jerk," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and then I'd yell, "You're a jerk!" It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jerk. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, thenheard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is Herman with the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"

He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jerk!"

And the reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 555-4822.

The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the stall. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.

All of a sudden this black camaro come flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.

I thought to myself, this guy's a jerk, there's sure a lot of jerks in this world. I noticed he had a For Sale sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 555-4822 and yelling, "You're a jerk!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial). I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.

After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."
I said, "Is this the man with the black camaro for sale?"
"Yes it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front.
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes."
"Don, you're a jerk!" And I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number
to my speed dialer.

For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jerks to call. Then after several months of calling the jerks and hanging up on them, the whole thing started to seem like an obligation. It just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution. First, I had my phone dial Jerk #1.
A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."
I yelled "You're a jerk!" But I didn't hang up.
The jerk said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah.."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
"Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jerk!" and I hung up.

Then I called Jerk #2.
He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jerk!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your butt."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jerk!" And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them a big gang fight was going down at 1802 West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

I turned onto 34th Street and parked my car under the shade of a tree half a block from Jerk #2's house. There were two guys fighting out front. Suddenly there were about 12 police cars and a helicopter. The police wrestled the two men to the ground and took them away.

A couple of months go by and I get a call for jury duty. I was picked to be on a trial of two guys charged with disorderly conduct. As luck would have it, it happened to be the same two guys. I might have influenced the jury, because when they announced the verdict, they said, "We the jury find the defendants to be guilty, and a couple of jerks!"

Posted by: Ace at 11:12 AM | Comments (2)
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Time has obtained records showing what its calling "the first documented look inside the highly classified realm of military interrogations since the Gitmo Camp at Guantanamo Bay."

What sort of horrors are documented in these records?

Detainees are woken up with Christina Aguilera music. Sometimes the interrogators make silly hats for the detainees.

Sometimes they give the detainees dance instruction.

No, I'm not kidding.

(via The American Princess)

Posted by: Ace at 09:23 AM | Comments (6)
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At the risk of sounding like a platitudinous ditto machine, I’m going to do it. I’ve contemplated long enough now, edged my feet towards the abyss of cliché-dom. I’ve supplicated Bartlett’s in sackcloth and ashes.

IÂ’ve even given this some outright thought. Still, cavalierly searing my literary conscience for the sake of a single, political, tactical point, IÂ’m going to slide right to the precipice of perdition, and just do it.

IÂ’m going to quote from The Art of War. Sorry.

Sun TsuÂ’s been dead what, 2,400 years? Law & Order and every other pseudo-intellectual piece of rotten cinema, this poor guy canÂ’t just lay there and decompose without some upstart script writer drawing dubious parallels between his book and the fine art of getting baby-rapers to cop a plea. Nevertheless, I wax:

“If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will come floating by.”

I specifically reference the incendiary and sometimes outright pyrotechnic helmsmanship of one Howard Dean.
more...

Posted by: Ace at 06:59 AM | Comments (7)
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The moral idiocy and intellectual dishonesty of David's latest salvo forces me to battle the wave of fatigue and mild nausea that overcomes me most evenings long enough to compose a cogent response, even as I battle an impulse to abandon the modicum of civility to which I currently cling.

Like a stream of urine vaporized by the gusting winds off the Cuban shoreline, David's illogical "venting" misses the mark and dissipates on examination.

That the posts he uses to support his unprovoked assaults smell strongly of mothballs provides further proof of either a lack of sincerity or a dearth of ideas, and earns him the Ace of Spades Award for Most Recycled Posts. more...

Posted by: Ace at 01:03 AM | Comments (4)
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Because we wouldn't want somebody who was complicit in the planning of the 9/11 attacks to be uncomfortable in his jail cell.

Posted by: Ace at 08:54 PM | Comments (1)
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