From a high of 131 hunger-strikers down to 45.

Most commonly-given reason for ending the hunger strike? "I just felt like I could use a good nosh."

Top ten after the jump. more...

Posted by: Ace at 08:21 AM | Comments (16)
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Good Lord, I love when a military man gives a press-corps pencilneck a good verbal drubbing.

Yes, as is being said, a new rallying cry has been born.

H/t to Traffic Non-Santa.

What's a Catchphrase Without the Smiling WWII Guy? Update: Have a nice hot cup of you're stuck on stupid.

Video Killed The Media Star: Video at, where else?, the Political Teen.

I can only imagine what this kid's porn collection must be like. A veritable cornucopia of filth.

I don't know what to make of it, but... Media SOS?

Seems apropos.

Celine Dion Stuck On Stupid As Well: Big shock, but still funny. Riot Video prefaces this dopey performance with a quote from Billy Madison:

What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having heard it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

God must like stupid Canadians, because he sure did make a lot of them, eh?

Posted by: Ace at 08:31 PM | Comments (105)
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Michael Knight. The dude from Law & Order: SVU. Together. At long last.

Ice-T, who was one of the first real hip-hop stars in the late 1980s, said: "The man is a legend. And we are going to show a whole new side of him."

The rapper is said to be convinced that the 51-year-old for Knight Rider and Baywatch actor can take on the biggest names in rap, reports The Sun.

Ice-T added: "He's gonna come out as Hassle The Hoff - I promise you. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour."

Hassle the Hoff -- I'm almost hearing the hookline already.

If the first single isn't an updated version of Der Kommissar, someone should be sued for malpractice.

You know, no matter how bad things get, with natural disasters and war and political discord, we will all one day be able to say to our grandchildren:

We were there at Creation.

Thanks to a ex-Boston Irish.

HasselhoffWatch Flashback: Well, okay. I guess maybe Hassel the Hoff can be a rap star, given that he ended the Cold War and all.

Hooked on a Feeling... of Ineffable Dread: Oh, yeah. OH, YEAH. This is da straight-up gangsta shizznat, Boo!

Either KITT Talks or I Bust A Cap In Yo' Ass: You know what's street? Street, baby, is threatening to walk off a film project involving a Trans-Am with a Cylon-eye over creative differences involving whether said car should talk or not.

Posted by: Ace at 07:30 PM | Comments (13)
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The New York Times will shed 500 workers.

Bastards.

Posted by: Ace at 03:59 PM | Comments (21)
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A provision of the Massachusettes Constitution provides for the immediate ejections of "tyrannical judges," based on a vote in the House of Representatives.

Although such as vote has been blocked in the past, it may be going forward now.

Posted by: Ace at 01:53 PM | Comments (21)
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Putting this up now because I'll forget later.

J.D.'s doing You Can't Always Get What You Want, which is hopefully prophetic.

Marty's doing Wish You Were Here, also hopefully prophetic, but hasn't he sung this on the show twice before?

Mig is doing Bohemian Rhapsody, which he'll need to absolutely kill if he wants to win this thing. They know he's been doing it for years, so they'll be grading him on a curve. Prediction: He'll wear tight leather pants and may rip/rip off his shirt at some point. Probably right after "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me... for meee... for meeeee-eeee-eeee!"

I'll bump this thread as showtime approaches. If I remember to.

Remember, avoid spoilers showing up in the Most Recent Comments sidebar by starting spoiler comments with "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog." Just cut and paste it if you're too lazy to type it out.

Loose Demonology Shit: Not Mephistopheles, as I first wrote. Beelzebub. Thanks to ArrrMatey for the correction.

I thought Mephistopheles sounded too damn long for the lyric.

Posted by: Ace at 01:37 PM | Comments (30)
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Gordon Gould, who brought the world the most kickass acronym ever (light amplification by stimluated emission of radiation), is sadly FUBAR'd after being pronounced DOA. RIP.

HT to OG.

Posted by: Ace at 01:20 PM | Comments (13)
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Absurdly biased poll "reporting" from the AP's reliably-partisan Ron Fournier.

This is fun:

Given a choice in the survey, 42 percent favored cutting spending on Iraq to pay for relief efforts on the Gulf Coast, and 29 percent wanted to delay or cancel Republican tax cuts. That's a whopping 71 percent backing options that Bush doesn't even have on the table.

It is? See Correction.

How much of a retard to you have to be to fail to realize that that 42% and 29% have an awful lot of overap between them, and you can't just add them together to get a "whopping 71%" which favor either?

Boy, I wish I could be as wicked-smart as a big time MSM journalist!

Your Mainstream Media Professionals

We were all too dumb for pre-med. Or pre-law. Or pre-phys-ed.

It's a Good Thing I'm Feeling No Pain on Klonopin and Miller Light Or I'd Be Really Embarassed Update: Fournier's math is correct; the way the question is asked, you can add together the 42 and 29 to get 71%.

I don't care. Ron Fournier is still an idiot hack.

Thanks to Allah, who has taken a break from blogging to bust my damn balls 24/7.

Posted by: Ace at 01:14 PM | Comments (19)
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At Rightalk.

Our guest today is Jack Kelly, national security columnist for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and Toledo Blade, and a nationally syndicated columnist to boot. We'll discuss what went right with the feds' Katrina response, and what went wrong with Dan Rather's brain-wiring.

We'll be having him on right away, due to a major screw-up (mine) in scheduling the appearance, which means you'll be spared of my long-winded blather of an opening babble. We'll save that for the last half of the show.

How the hell can I get anyone to call in? Let's just call today "Open Line Tuesday" or "Anything Goes Day." 866-884-TALK.

Did I mention that the call's charge will be discretely billed to "GLOBAL TRANSEXUAL PORNOGRAPHY INTERNATIONAL"?

No, just kidding. It's free.

But the third caller will receive my special "mix videotape" of the hottest scenes from The Crying Game and Dressed to Kill mixed with Jamie Gumm from Silence of the Lambs.

It's a keeper. Sooooo hot.

Posted by: Ace at 10:52 AM | Comments (17)
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I've slagged Instapundit for endlessly repeating "There's a war on" when LEO's are "diverted" to pesky tasks like stopping drug production, importation, and distribution (last time I checked, they were still illegal, and still destroyed a lot of lives), but this is really beyond the pale.

And I'm not just saying that as an interested party. At least I think I'm not.

FBI Agents are not happy to be diverted to the Special Task Force For Silly Shit:

The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.

"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it's a running joke for us."

A few of the printable samples:

"Things I Don't Want On My Résumé, Volume Four."

"I already gave at home."

"Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves."

Heh.

...

Applicants for the porn squad should therefore have a stomach for the kind of material that tends to be most offensive to local juries.

I think they'll have little trouble finding people with the stomach for this material. That pederast Hannorhan could take care of the whole job himself.

AG Alberto Gonzalez seems to think this is a way to burnish his credentials with social conservatives.

But Gonzales endorses the rationale of predecessor Meese: that adult pornography is a threat to families and children. Christian conservatives, long skeptical of Gonzales, greeted the pornography initiative with what the Family Research Council called "a growing sense of confidence in our new attorney general."

Oh, eat me.

Let's see-- wobbly on Affirmative Action, immigration, abortion, etc.

But hey-- he's vowed, Elliot Ness-style, to be the man to get Max Hardcore!

Here's when you can be on the Supereme Court, Alberto:

The first Monday of October in the year Two Thousand and Never.

It Never Gets Old Update: Sean M. snarks--

When they came for the crackheads, I said nothing, since I never smoked any rock. And, eeeewwwww--they're crackheads!

When they came for the white-collar cokefiends, I said nothing because, well, I never had the kind of money to waste on blow and besides, those guys tend to be assholes anyway, right?

When they came for the stoners, I said nothing because I'd grown up and quit smoking dope and watching cartoons all day.

And then, when they came for me and my ALL-ANAL ASIAN TEEN GANGBANG C*M SLUTS, there was no one left to speak for me.

What's especially heartbreaking is that millions of immigrants come to America with the dream of becomin all-anal Asian teen gangbang c*m sluts, and now we're just shutting the door in their faces.

Isn't there something about that on the Statue of Liberty or something? If there isn't, there should be.

Posted by: Ace at 09:49 AM | Comments (73)
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