What a nasty piece of work:

Faded British rocker Gary Glitter faces up to seven years in a Vietnamese prison if found guilty of child molestation charges this week in southern Vietnam.

His two-day trial on charges of committing lewd acts with two girls, aged 10 and 11, begins Thursday in closed session at the courthouse in Ba Ria-Vung Tau province. The crime carries a prison sentence ranging from three to seven years.

The aging singer, who won fame during the 1970s as a glam rocker with a penchant for bouffant wigs and sequin jumpsuits, has been accused of kissing, fondling, and "engaging in other physical acts" with the girls at his rented villa in the port city of Vung Tau, located about 125 kilometers (78 miles) southeast of Ho Chi Minh City.

...

Glitter has said he was teaching the girls English at his home and considered them "like his grandchildren." He has admitted to police that the 11-year-old girl slept in his room because she was afraid of ghosts, but denied inappropriate behavior, his attorney said.

And the reason she put her hand down his pants? Why, that's where he keeps the "ghost repellent," of course. Where do you keep yours, buddy?

Not quite so "glam" anymore, huh?
He looks like a fucking turtle.

Correction: I wrongly said he was accused of pederasty, which is usually used to describe man-on-boy love. But, as it turns out, not exclusively. M-w.com defines a pederast as...

one that practices anal intercourse especially with a boy

So actually that word isn't appropriate here (although, who knows). I've changed the headline to say "Pedophila," which is the word I think I was looking for in the first place.

Thanks to Aldolfo, and also, to that pederast Hanorhan.

Spot the Pedophile: This site claims you can spot a pedophile by a characteristic smirk/grin, or "pedosmile." There's a quiz for it, which I think sort of really demolishes their theory, because half the pedophiles on the list simply don't have the "pedosmile" at all.

And yet the quiz tells you you're wrong by saying "Guess again, asshole," which I found very hurtful.

Thanks to Adolfo.

Posted by: Ace at 09:41 AM | Comments (10)
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"Yes, it is true, I am major, how you say, douche-bag," he tearfully confesses

Well, not really.

But he did admit to ordering the show-trial of Shiites suspected of involvement in an assassination attempt against him.

He later claimed his angry admission -- "You're goddamned right I did!" -- was just intended to be a funny impression of Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men.

Posted by: Ace at 09:38 AM | Comments (4)
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Very long run-on URLs or words or series of punctuation marks -- like "????????????????????????" -- blow the margins on the side, where your comments are listed.

If you have a URL to post, try doing it in actual hotlink form. If you don't know how to do that, break your URL into small pieces -- three of them should be enough, unless it's an outrageously long one-- and then just tell people to put them all together in a new window.

And try to keep from posting overly long words/uninterupted series of characters. It just blows the margins and makes the site act goofy.

Thanks.

Bonus: If you don't know anything about putting URLs into a link, this site, tinyurl.com, will do it for you.

Just post your URL in their box and hit the button and it will spit out easy, short HTML code you can cut and paste into the comments box.

Just tinyurl.com. Easy to remember.

And the cool thing is you'll be able to post an actual link that people can just click on to access. And furthermore -- the Mu.nu spam-blocker will not block the URL's address out!

Thanks to Blovis, although DDG has mentioned this solution before too.

Also... That "link" button above the posting window provides the link-code for ya. An anonymous poster says it's pretty easy:

Here's how you do it:

1. Type link or some other short word or phrase.
2. Highlight it.
3. Click the LINK button above the comments box.
4. Paste the url in the box.
5. You're done.

The "short word or phrase" he mentions is the actual text that will be displayed rather than the link. Easy ones are "click here," "here," or "this article," etc. Those will be the words that actually show up -- in red, hotlinked, click-to-access letters -- rather than the long URL.

Posted by: Ace at 09:29 AM | Comments (15)
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Everyone's favorite America-hating, bulldozer-dueling former human being, Rachel Corrie, has been elegized in a new play.

Chickpea in particular won't like this, but the play was written by seemingly cool guy but actual douche Alan ("Die Hard," "Robin Hood," some dumb British dramas no one watched) Rickman. And, just to add some balance to his pro-Palestinian, anti-Jew views, it was co-written by a reporter from the fair-and-balanced, down-the-line-objective Guardian UK.

A potential Off Broadway production of "My Name Is Rachel Corrie," an acclaimed solo show about an American demonstrator killed by an Israeli bulldozer while trying to stop the destruction of a Palestinian home, has been postponed because of concerns about the show's political content.

The production, a hit at the Royal Court Theater in London last year, had been tentatively scheduled to start performances at the New York Theater Workshop in the East Village on March 22. But yesterday, James C. Nicola, the artistic director of the workshop, said he had decided to postpone the show after polling local Jewish religious and community leaders as to their feelings about the work.

"The uniform answer we got was that the fantasy that we could present the work of this writer simply as a work of art without appearing to take a position was just that, a fantasy," he said.

In particular, the recent electoral upset by Hamas, the militant Palestinian group, and the sickness of Ariel Sharon, the Israeli prime minister, had made "this community very defensive and very edgy," Mr. Nicola said, "and that seemed reasonable to me."

Some days it's really cool that Jews control the media.

Thanks to Andy the Squirrel and RLW.

In related news... I've been working on my own play about the subject, tenatively titled, "The Coolest, Luckiest Bulldozer In The Whole Wide World." I'm trying to get the guy who did the costumes for The Lion King to make me a cool-looking Bulldozer costume.

In my play, the Bulldozer is named "Nick 'Treads' Treadly," because that's a really kick-ass name. He's a loose-cannon maverick-rebel bulldozer who plays by his own rules, and who's always being chewed out by his operator.

Key quote: "Nick, you just drove over an anti-American, anti-Semitic protestor! I want your badge and your gun, now!"

Nick "Treads" Treadly: "I don't have a badge or a gun. I'm a bulldozer."

Sergeant: "Well you're suspended for month! Without pay!"

Nick: "You can suspend me. But you can't suspend Treads Justice."

I'm hoping to get a MacArthur Genius grant to finish & produce the play.

In the meantime, your donations can help get this work-of-the-heart off the floor.

Posted by: Ace at 09:06 AM | Comments (49)
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What could possibly go wrong?

The glistening white Santiago Calatrava addition has made the Milwaukee Art Museum one of the city's classiest social addresses. But a recent martini fete held there turned into an overcrowded, drunken affair. Some unruly guests accosted artworks, which have been taken off display for a checkup.

A hallway at the Milwaukee Art Museum was among the areas open for a party that offered unlimited martinis for $30. The photo is from 2003.

People threw up, passed out, were injured, got into altercations and climbed onto sculptures at Martinifest, a semi- formal event organized by Clear Channel Radio and held at the museum Feb. 11, according to several people who attended or worked at the event.

"Hindsight is 20-20 . . . it was probably too cheap," Kerry Wolfe, a local programming director for Clear Channel, said of the event's premise - unlimited martinis for $30.

...

As was the case with prior events, the sculptures lining one of the long gallerias in the museum's Calatrava-designed building were in close proximity to serving areas during Martinifest. But this time, food, drink and vomit were on and around some of the artworks by night's end, according to some accounts.

"It was crazy," said attendee Kathleen Christians, 39. "People were shoving people over. People were getting sick, screaming, shouting, messing with the artwork."

A group of four young men climbed onto "Standing Woman," a tall, bronze sculpture of a goddess-like woman with exaggerated features by early 20th-century American artist Gaston Lachaise.

"They were standing on it, grabbing the boobs, and somebody was just taking pictures with a cell phone," said Laura Collins, 35.

Classy.

Clear Channel Cable regrets its decision making and will more throroughly vet possible venues for parties.

They are keeping away from museums. Their next party will be "All the Rotgut Gin and Amphetamines You Can Consume, With The Tigers!," to be held at the Big Cats cages at the Milwaukee Zoo.

"We don't anticipate any problems," a Clear Channel representative said. "The amphetamines should counteract any loss of inhibition from alcohol, and tigers do not have boobs that can be fondled or photographed." He later corrected himself to say "Male tigers don't have boobs, and female tigers' boobs can only be seen if you get up real close and underneath them, which we don't see as a likelihood."

Survivors of the soiree, if any exist, will all get Clear Channel baseball caps. Six have been pre-ordered.

Thanks to Scott.

Posted by: Ace at 08:14 AM | Comments (9)
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